- You know, Nil, if you were Anu, Krishnajibon would have wanted a new life. He wanted it with Anu too. That didn't happen. With you, it would have. - Even with me, it wouldn't have. Position is a major factor. Sometimes crossing that becomes nearly impossible. - Yes, this runs deep—when a person kills their own desire yet fails to transcend the self they've constructed. Still, I'll say this: don't remain lonely, friend. Even in a perpetually busy life, keep your own people, keep time for yourself. - We've lived through turbulent times, couldn't become ourselves, couldn't manage it. I say this as a friend. Even the most accomplished person becomes terribly alone sometimes, and then the emptiness of missing someone devours life. I'm saying too much—you know life's many dimensions far better.
- If you lack confidence in what you're telling me, how can I accept it! - It's not a lack of confidence, friend. I speak from pure confidence in you. You're my unequal yet contemporary friend. Sometimes I think my love for you is justified. Yes, I have my own kind of love for you. I sit with it, exchange words, see life through it. - Fine! You understand love well. - No, not quite. I have my own school of thought—love between two free people isn't conventional. There, one must rise above wanting and getting, yet still reach fulfillment. Here, there's agreement to some extent, but even more disagreement; as much indifference as there is, there's even more closeness; there's bargaining over mistakes; temporary melancholy; and also the inevitable return.
- I was never a vocal lover. I have many disasters, my own melancholy attic, my share of characterless poverty and shame. With all this comes my exiled life. There I am both speaker and listener, victor and vanquished. - Everyone has disasters. As a lover, you're good enough. Silent is more fitting than vocal. Staying in the main role while the relationship's dimensions shift in a story, becoming a companion, then loving someone and finally leading them to a new wedding chamber—I don't know if these are surreal, but they could very well happen.
- Those who are domestic yet estranged from domesticity will suffer—that's the rule. - Or perhaps this isn't a rule at all, but an anomaly. In this deeply incongruous time, my sense of self says: you're not really alive, let the life-filled ones be well. - When I sit you before me, I buy much silence in my own time. Much is spoken in silence. - Yes, I see you. I see you through multiple perceptions, nothing is said, but actually your disconnected life was one way before, now at night's end one must touch the dew of tears.
- Are you well? - Being well! I'm past the age of tears, or perhaps tears are not my neighbor. - You see, Mehu, in my place you needed someone with a simple heart and simple brain! Your selection went wrong. Then those trillion heavy words of yours wouldn't have been stored by that simple heart and simple brain. You would have stayed well in a beautiful relationship. - No, it's not like that. I may not know, but I believe that one day time will say I wasn't so wrong. I'm happy in my faith, friend. - Some things must be left to time, I too am surrendered to time. You can keep yourself free of blame. - You can't be a reckless lover. You can meditate through pain, but can't become carelessly scattered. You don't want to read the translation of eyes' sounds. You're indifferent to satisfying yourself. - Fine! What then?
- You can't hear wrong stories. You can't do many things, many things, many things, so many...! - What then? - You worship purity, that's not good. You don't know how to burn. You don't become a translation. You can show the way quite well! No, when there are words, the path gets shorter, absorption makes one forget the path. At midnight, in mid-sky, the moon needs no companion, isn't that right, Nil? - On no night, at no dimensional position does the moon need a companion. - Then who does the moon wait for? - The moon waits for no one; everyone waits for the moon, so the moon reveals itself sometimes. - The moon has no separation then? - Not having it is natural. - Do you know why it awakens the sea? - The sea awakens because it can't overcome the enchantment of attraction. The moon simply maintains its own pace on its own path, alone. - The sea is one-sided then? - 'One-sided love' isn't something new. - Why does the moon hide then? - It makes room for the sun. That's the rule. One must make room. The moon understands the sun's madness. - I couldn't match you in conversation, Nil! Well, must humans also make room for time in life? - Everyone and everything must make room. One is natural inevitability, and there's voluntary-inevitability which goes unspoken, but perhaps the 'voluntary' aspect leaves room for discussion.
- I understand, this is idealism-washed feeling and the pure realization of human self-immolation. Really, love is nothing but a self-chosen, self-made, abstractly beautiful book expressed in one's own language. - Stay well in all dimensions of living, like pain clings to the body of life's forgotten time. - I won't say 'stay well'—all of life's meaning doesn't hide in being able to stay well, so I'll say instead...live in peace. Peace is the final word.