The Story of Turning Around

A house. In that house, a girl named Nipa was growing up. Nipa was the daughter of her father’s second wife. Nipa’s father had married her mother out of love. When he married his first wife, Nipa’s father had felt love then too, but that love was only for money. Father worked in the police force and also ran some small businesses on the side. The beneficiaries of his income were Nipa’s two mothers, the first wife’s four children, Nipa and her younger brother Rajon. Even before Badal Saheb brought Nipa’s mother into the house, his eldest daughter from the first marriage had already been wed. From the time he brought the poor family’s daughter—Nipa’s mother—into his home purely for love, against his first wife’s wishes, until just before Nipa’s younger brother Rajon was born, Badal Saheb’s affection for his young wife remained unwavering. Just a year after Nipa’s birth, Rajon came to be in his mother’s womb. From then on, for some unknown reason, both Badal Saheb and his first wife began treating the young wife and her two children with lordly disdain. Though perhaps there was a reason for this: Badal Saheb had sold some of his first wife’s jewelry for business needs and received some money from it. And the young wife could offer nothing but love. Generally speaking, from a man’s perspective, the claim of love in a second marriage while the first wife is present lasts only a very short time. For a man who cannot be satisfied with love alone, all demands of love become meaningless. Father didn’t want Nipa and her younger brother to study. The young wife, relegated to the status of a household servant, and her two children lived day after day in complete neglect in that house. Nipa’s mother was a hardworking woman. She had studied up to class ten. She wanted her two children to achieve what she herself had been unable to accomplish in life. With the money she earned from sewing and tutoring some village children, she managed some household expenses and her children’s educational costs. It’s not that Nipa’s father gave no money at all. Whether or not he considered his wife’s dignity, Badal Saheb would give the young wife some money in exchange for physical pleasure. Nipa’s mother was about half Badal Saheb’s age.

From childhood, apart from her mother, Nipa had received ‘pure love’ from only one other person—that was Mishu, the husband of Nipa’s stepmother’s eldest daughter. This brother-in-law of Nipa had showered her with affection since she was small. That affection was far more physical than emotional. Everyone in the house understood everything but pretended not to notice. Since Mishu treated Nipa’s mother very well, she too didn’t harbor much suspicion. He would bring dresses, chocolates, and various cosmetics for Nipa. When Nipa was in class five, one day Mishu seized an opportunity and attempted to rape her. When he failed, he grabbed Nipa by the throat and said, “Watch out! Don’t tell anyone, if you tell anyone anything I’ll kill you!” Out of fear, Nipa never told anyone about it. After that incident, though Mishu continued to ‘dote’ on Nipa regularly as before, he never again attempted rape. Mishu worked at a high salary in a shipping company in Chittagong city, and regularly gave money to his father-in-law for business. He would present everything to his wife before she could even ask, always trying to keep her happy. His standing in his in-laws’ house was special compared to everyone else. He always brought some gift or other for everyone in his in-laws’ house, including his brothers and sisters-in-law. Though he wasn’t particularly handsome compared to his wife, his behavior and sincerity covered all physical imperfections. In short, he was an ideal husband and son-in-law. When she was in class five, Nipa didn’t yet have the intelligence or maturity to understand what her brother-in-law had tried to do with her. She only understood this much: she had been hurt badly, and her brother-in-law had threatened her not to tell anyone. But she didn’t understand what would happen if she told someone.

With the small allowance her husband gave and her own earnings combined, Nipa’s mother had long ago bought two hybrid cows. After 5-6 years when there were many cows, she sold them and bought a small piece of land for her children. She had also taken some money as a loan from the bank. Both Nipa and Rajon were bright, with a gap of two years between them in school. They had gotten admission to the government high school, where even the children of wealthy families studied. The money for Nipa’s high school admission exam form was given by one of her primary school teachers, because Nipa’s mother believed that Nipa wouldn’t get a chance in that good school, and the money would just be wasted. From childhood, Nipa would come either second or third in all her classes at school. When she came first in the annual exam while moving from class seven to eight, her amiable brother-in-law had taken her to see the city in celebration. Nipa’s mother had happily allowed Nipa to go to the city with Mishu. Mishu lived in a rented house in Chawk Bazaar with his wife and their only son, who was three years younger than Nipa. He took Nipa around to various places. To parks, the zoo, hills, restaurants, markets. Nipa’s elder sister kept saying, “What’s the need for all this wasteful spending?” But paying no heed to those words, Mishu lavished care and attention on Nipa.

Nipa stayed at her sister’s house for three days. On the morning of the third day: “Come, let’s go to the market and buy her a dress.” “I can’t manage it, I have to go to the parlor.” “Then I’ll go out and buy it myself.” “What do you know about girls’ clothes?” “What’s there not to understand?” “Whatever you like!” “Look, my taste isn’t bad, you know!” “Surely not better than mine! My taste is much better than yours!” “That’s exactly what I thought too until you agreed to marry me!” Hearing this, Nipa’s sister threw a pillow at her husband, calling him “Devil! Bad man!!” and such things. Watching the couple’s playful banter, Nipa laughed until she rolled on the floor. Then her brother-in-law took Nipa shopping at Sunmar Ocean City. They also had lunch at the food court in the market. When it was time to return home, talking with Nipa’s sister revealed that there was a big crowd at the parlor, and she had to go from the parlor to a friend’s house. It would be evening before she could return home. Right then, a lightning-quick idea flashed through her brother-in-law’s mind! He went a little distance away and finished some conversation on the phone with someone. Mishu took Nipa to one of his friends’ houses. The friend’s wife worked in Sylhet. “Your sister will be late coming back. Let’s go to a house. Will you come?” “Yes, brother, I’ll come!” There he introduced Nipa to his friend. “My sister-in-law, incredibly brilliant. She came first in last year’s class seven annual exam.” Then time passed in various conversations. When Nipa became a bit more comfortable, she began exploring the house on her own. “Friend, don’t you have Coke in your fridge?” “No.” “Get some, won’t you? Nipa, you’ll have Coke, right?” “No brother, I don’t feel like it.” “Come on, have it, have it!” Saying this, he sent his friend downstairs. Then he cunningly wrapped scotch tape around Nipa’s mouth and raped her several times until evening. He also took many photos with his camera. Holding a knife to her throat, he threatened her: “If you tell anyone anything, I’ll spread these photos around and spread nasty rumors about you in the village! Then I’ll divorce your sister, and your father will kick you out of the house!” Out of fear, Nipa never told anyone about that day’s events. When Nipa felt a little better, they returned home at night. Keeping Nipa in front, Mishu told his wife such wonderful stories about roaming around all day and shopping that Nipa’s sister couldn’t even imagine her husband’s terrible deed.

Thirteen-year-old Nipa had seen deprivation from a very early age, had seen abuse, had learned how to struggle and continue her studies in her father’s house. After suffering such abuse from the one person she loved outside of her mother and younger brother, whom she considered her own, Nipa began to believe that the world itself was truly this cruel! There’s a strange kind of joy and satisfaction in loving and respecting from a distance. Getting close often leads to disappointment. Because proximity increases expectations. Expectations invariably bring pain. Getting close also reveals many hidden ugly things. Those too cause pain—the pain of being unable to accept the dark aspects of a beloved person. What’s normal for one person can be completely novel for another. The failure to adapt oneself to that novelty when getting close brings great pain. But had Nipa gone close to Mishu? That good man in everyone’s eyes had forcefully and cunningly drawn her close. What could she have done about it? Why did she have to come first in the exam? Why did everyone say she was ‘terribly sweet to look at’? Suddenly, Nipa developed a kind of intense hatred toward her own intelligence and physical beauty. Nipa had always been a very quiet, well-behaved girl, and gradually became even more silent. Badal Saheb had never wanted his young wife’s two children to study. It was only through their mother’s strength of will that they had come this far. None of Nipa’s classmates knew that their class’s first girl was getting the opportunity to continue her studies in exchange for doing all the household chores properly. Neither sibling had been able to afford private tutoring up to the tenth grade due to lack of money. Some of the school teachers, knowing bits and pieces of their situation, would allow them to sit with others in their private classes for a small fee, and some months without taking any money at all. Constantly receiving blows from life, Rajon would sometimes become somewhat rebellious and stubborn, refusing to study for several days. Nipa would reason with him and convince him to sit down to study again. In this way, in time, Nipa got A+ in SSC and got admission to intermediate college. All three daughters from Badal Saheb’s first marriage had been married off, and the son had gone to Dubai for a job after passing HSC.

One day, on a rain-soaked afternoon. Father had been transferred to Doublemuirng police station in Chittagong and was commuting to work, Mother was at her maternal home, elder sister had gone to stay with their second daughter in Nayar—only Nipa and Rajan were home. One of their father’s colleagues, Hasan Uncle, used to visit their house frequently; he was a trusted family friend whom they held in special regard. This ‘gentleman’ had even received an award for being the best police officer at the district level. He had quite free access to Nipa’s house. That day too, like many other days, he came to their home. That opportunistic predator had made inquiries and learned that no one else was home. “When will Badal return?” “Uncle, it’ll be evening by the time Father gets back.” “So, how are things with you two? How are your studies going? No problems, I hope?” He began such conversations. Since Nipa had known him from childhood, she couldn’t even imagine his sinister intentions. While chatting over tea, he gave Rajan money to buy cigarettes for him and biryani for the three of them, along with a few other things. Rajan innocently went to fetch these items. Then, taking out his revolver and threatening her, he bound Nipa’s mouth, hands, and feet, and raped her twice in succession. During this time, he took several photographs and made videos. He threatened Nipa, saying that if she told anyone, he would release everything online, throw acid on her face to disfigure it, and shoot Rajan dead. Grabbing Nipa by the throat, he forced contraceptive pills down her throat. Within moments, Rajan returned with the food, smiling. Citing urgent work as an excuse, the beast left without eating anything, taking only the cigarette packet. Nipa’s entire body began to ache terribly. Saying she had a headache, she turned off the room light and lay wrapped in a quilt. Her little brother couldn’t understand what was wrong. Nipa couldn’t tell anyone out of fear. Fear for the family’s honor, fear for her own honor, fear for her little brother’s and mother’s lives, fear of society. She was also afraid that if Father learned of this, he might angrily force her into marriage! Or might even ask her to marry that beast, who already had a wife and children at home. Nipa’s teenage mind couldn’t think beyond this. She kept thinking that if all this became known, she wouldn’t be able to fulfill her studies or her mother’s dreams. Lost in such thoughts, two days passed for Nipa. About a week later, that same Hasan Uncle came again, this time with another friend. That day too, only Nipa and Rajan were home. Sending Rajan to fetch food and blackmailing her with threats of releasing the previous photos and videos, the two beasts together raped Nipa. Meanwhile, Nipa’s mother was still at her maternal home. Due to a land dispute, her mother’s cousins had beaten her with sticks, cracking her head open. Nipa’s father showed little interest in bringing his wife home. And on top of that, this horrific ordeal was repeated! Under such mental anguish, Nipa became physically and mentally ill. Unable to tell anyone anything, she consoled and healed herself. Often, breathing difficulties would start from her mental illness. Everyone thought these symptoms were due to exam anxiety. Despite everything, gritting her teeth and staying silent, Nipa continued her studies. Then came the HSC exams. With great difficulty, she took the exams and got an A grade.

Everyone was saying that under the pretext of going to teachers’ houses, she had just been roaming around and hadn’t studied at all. Otherwise, why would a girl who got A+ in matriculation get only an A in intermediate? Father wanted to force her into marriage immediately. Stubbornly opposing her father, Nipa ran away from home and went to Bogra. She went to stay at a primary school friend’s house. She began supporting herself by tutoring. Due to lack of money, she couldn’t afford to enroll in any coaching centers. Unable to study properly due to mental anguish, she didn’t get admission to any public university and enrolled in Economics at Bogra Government Azizul Haque College. During that time, Nipa met a boy who lived in Bogra but studied at Dhaka University. The boy helped her in various ways, including arranging accommodation in a mess and introducing her to everyone. His name was Raj. Later, inspired and encouraged by Raj, Nipa prepared on her own for a second time, took the exam, and got admission to Dhaka University. Raj was a year older than Nipa. They became very good friends over time. When Nipa was nearing the end of her third year, Raj proposed to her. Initially, Nipa didn’t want to get involved in a relationship with Raj. Because of her bitter past experiences, she always thought she wasn’t worthy of Raj. Not just Raj—she wasn’t worthy of anyone. Getting involved with anyone would mean cheating them, betraying them. Still, under Raj’s insistence, Nipa finally decided to forget the past and dream of moving forward, saying ‘yes’ to Raj.

A few months into the relationship, Raj wanted to know from Nipa whether he was her first love, whether she was a virgin, and so on. Though Nipa initially evaded the question of virginity, later, overwhelmed by guilt, she told Raj everything to lighten her burden and make herself more trustworthy to him. After hearing everything, Raj simply couldn’t accept it, couldn’t take it lightly. He cut off all communication with Nipa for three days. Though it hurt terribly, Nipa accepted it—this was her fate. Even though she cried a lot, burying her face in her pillow behind closed doors, she didn’t bother Raj. She kept cursing herself for her misfortune. Then Raj contacted her again. Though he said things like “Alright, fine, actually you had no control over it,” he continued to torture Nipa physically and mentally day after day. Raj had no minimum respect for Nipa. He would slap and hit her anytime while sitting in rickshaws, punch her while grabbing her hair whenever he found the opportunity. He often said, “You’re spoiled, you willingly slept with them. You gave it to them, now give me something too.” Nipa couldn’t understand at all how a person could say such vile things to someone they claimed to love. He had tempted her, saying he would marry her if she had physical relations with him. But that intense trauma from adolescence wouldn’t let Nipa trust any man again. Things continued this way. Despite many attempts, Nipa couldn’t find any place in Raj’s heart. Eventually, unable to bear it, she attempted suicide. She fought with death for three straight days and survived. When she recovered a bit and returned to the hostel, Raj called her and said, “What poison did you take that you couldn’t even die properly? A spoiled girl like you will ruin ten good boys. It would have been better if you had died.” And many more such words. He called Nipa’s father and told him everything. He even exaggerated many things. Nipa also confessed everything to her father. Badal Saheb kept the entire matter secret and quickly began searching for a groom for Nipa. Meanwhile, Nipa’s honors were almost finished. When Nipa was in her second year of honors, her mother had died of cancer with absolutely no treatment. Nipa’s younger brother Rajan had poor results in HSC. Instead of continuing his education, Badal Saheb immediately put him to work in his business after he passed intermediate. Now if only he could get rid of this problem, the gentleman would be saved!

After much searching, a banker groom was found. Jony; 21 years older than Nipa. He had divorced his previous wife just three months after marriage. Jony was actually responsible for this. Before marriage, he had physical relationships with several girls, which he didn’t stop even after marriage. Whenever his previous wife said anything, Jony would flare up immediately: “You weren’t a virgin before marriage either. What did you do with Porosh for four years—don’t I know that?” More conflicts arose over other trivial matters until they finally divorced each other. After that, for nine years, Jony continued relationships with various girls as before. Nipa’s father knew some things about the boy’s past. But thinking only of how to quickly get Nipa out of the house by any means, he secretly and hastily married Nipa to Jony without telling her anything. Since Jony’s family was from Dinajpur, he couldn’t properly investigate Nipa’s past either. The first three weeks of marriage went very well. Nipa was also very cleverly avoiding all topics about either her past or Jony’s. Nipa had only one desire from life then: peace. Then one day, like ten other eternal masculine men in the world, Jony asked Nipa, “Are you a virgin?” Nipa couldn’t lie and told him everything. No matter what boys themselves might do, a girl’s virginity is a huge issue for them. A girl thinks about a boy’s present as much as a boy obsesses ten times more over a girl’s past. Nipa never once asked Jony the same question. She had no headache about it. But for Jony, Nipa’s virginity was more important than Nipa herself. Like ten other hypocritical boys, Jony also believed that virginity was an ornament for girls and a stigma for boys. Girls should sit wearing ornaments while boys should be free of stigma. Society would say, “Ah ah! Bravo bravo!!” He humiliated Nipa day after day in front of his parents and younger sister, and eventually divorced her. Nipa never knew, or felt curious to know, what Jony himself was. After this, Nipa’s father, in his anger, also refused to accept her. He declared Nipa a disowned daughter in front of relatives and society. Everyone praised Badal Saheb for his firmness!

After that, Nipa became completely alone. Her younger brother Rajan also misunderstood her and cut off all contact. Nipa’s mind had stopped functioning properly. She couldn’t make sense of anything. She kept questioning herself: What was my fault? Was I responsible for being raped? Was it wrong to dream, and to try to fulfill those dreams? What should I have actually done? Does everything in life’s old accounts change just by telling lies? Doesn’t the love I gave have any value at all? Tell me, why are women’s worth judged solely by their virginity? What kind of love is it that cannot accept the socially imposed ‘incompleteness’ of one’s beloved? I never once questioned any incompleteness in Raj or Jony! Then why did this happen? Living within such a social and familial structure at such a young age, what else could a helpless girl like me have done? ………. Thinking these thoughts, fighting battles with herself and society, Nipa grew breathless. From birth, she had grown up neglected by her father and relatives. She had always lived in want; her father had barely ever helped her mentally or financially. What a father’s love felt like—Nipa had never experienced this. Her mother had struggled so much, constantly breaking her own body to raise the two siblings. Before they could see anything good, their mother slipped away. She had no mother, no father, no siblings, no one at all; even the chastity that society considers a woman’s greatest treasure was gone. Her greatest failure was that she lacked the ability to be deceitful. The very thing society holds sacred, it also tramples underfoot and destroys! From her own life she had learned that in this society, women’s chastity is valued more than their love. The fire of unchastity has never burned men, but has always turned only women to ash.

Nipa secretly returned to Chittagong. She went to stay at a friend’s house in Katghar. To her, life and death had become equally meaningful. When someone has nothing left to lose, they become the most reckless person in the world! Her friend’s husband helped her by providing information about various jobs. Eventually, after taking an exam, she landed a job as a production executive at a Korean computer hardware manufacturing company in the EPZ. Our society considers women who live alone to be personal property. Hypocrites who speak grand words pounce on them like animals whenever they get the chance. Thinking of her own safety, Nipa continued working while staying at her friend’s house. She shared some of the household expenses too. Within a short time, she grasped her work very well and caught the attention of senior officers. Since she could speak English fluently, Nipa was kept alongside for various business dealings with foreign buyers. This way, Nipa began getting acquainted with various foreign buyers. How to increase company sales, how to improve product quality, how to attract more buyers, how to reduce distances between colleagues through beautiful staff management—in all these areas, Nipa began proving her competence by working proactively. She never worked merely for salary. If you can make yourself indispensable even in work for which no salary is given, anyone will surely advance. For two consecutive years, Nipa won the Best Employee Award and got the opportunity to visit six countries. When life begins to change once, it just keeps changing and changing. The same began happening with Nipa.

A young Singaporean businessman named Jim, impressed by Nipa’s work efficiency, offered her to become his business working partner. Since Nipa had no investment, she would get ten percent of the profit from the business. Nipa would provide new planning for the business and supervise the establishment’s production and workers. The company would provide her with a car and full-time driver, a fully furnished flat, and the opportunity for foreign tours once a month. Everything after that was like a fairy tale. Nipa left her job and moved to Singapore. After working at Jim’s company for three years, she diligently learned all the intricacies of computer accessories. During those three years, Nipa worked tremendously hard, sleeping only 3-4 hours on average each day. Which parts to buy from which companies in which countries, where prices were cheaper, where to sell, how to capture markets, customer dealings—Nipa learned all of this very well. She would do three times more work for the company than her actual responsibilities. Though she initially oversaw two departments, later six departments were under her supervision. Jim’s business began growing. As the workload and scope increased, instead of ten percent of the total profit, Nipa asked for fifteen percent. But when Jim refused to agree, after three years she began her own work of buying computer accessories from companies in various countries and supplying them to Bangladesh. Gradually, orders began coming from several other countries as well. Meanwhile, Nipa married Kapil, one of her ex-colleagues who was a Sri Lankan citizen by birth. Kapil supported Nipa in all aspects of her business work. Within just four years, with money from her own business, Nipa bought two cars and a flat. Nipa was among the top ten emerging female entrepreneurs in Singapore. Apart from Nipa, no other Bengali woman was on that list. The business magazine BizToday ran a cover story about Nipa. Nipa was becoming a business icon. The Nipa-Kapil couple had one son and one daughter; both went to school. In that country, no one had time to research the past in ways that would dim their present. No one had the idle time or cheap petty mentality to pry into others’ affairs or be judgmental about others’ rights and wrongs—not even the least busy or least educated person there. Everything Nipa had now was solely present and future ahead. Taking everything together, this small family of four was quite at peace.

The girl who had once become disgusted with life and failed at suicide, who had become an outcast daughter from her family, who had repeatedly suffered cruelty at the hands of ruthless society, who had been considered a ruined girl by the hypocritical society that changed colors moment by moment—she now lives with her head held high as Bangladesh’s pride. She has provided training and arranged jobs for at least 850 unemployed Bangladeshi young people. The family that had once pushed her out with threats now receives complete care from her, along with four more families of those very relatives who had spoken about her in unspeakable language. She bears responsibility for all expenses of 37 more helpless families in her village. She funds the education of 165 orphaned children. She spends lakhs of taka every year helping distressed, helpless people. The girl whose back had once been not just against the wall but completely embedded in it—that same girl has silently, quietly taken the most beautiful revenge on this society with all her success and achievements, and continues to do so. From within all her deprivations, she has found life’s greatest acquisitions. Nipa has nothing more to ask for or receive from life than this.

Recently, the Women Chamber of Commerce and Industries honored Nipa with a recognition medal as the best Bangladeshi female entrepreneur abroad. At that grand ceremony, taking her father on stage with her, Nipa said very humbly: “This is my father. He did the work of giving birth to me; I did the rest of the work. Without father, I wouldn’t exist. Without me, this day wouldn’t have come. Thank you, father.” This is how the family’s disgraceful child introduced her father to thousands of people. Badal saheb couldn’t say anything; he was stunned with emotion, only streams of water flowing from both eyes in that dazzling evening.

Postscript. To my juniors who have read this piece, I say: your university is like your birth-giver. Your university is only obligated to give you a certificate, nothing more. You must do the rest of the work yourself.

Best wishes for all of you!