The shadow that clings in stillness

 
Don't I have studies to tend to?
Don't I have cooking to do?
Will I starve myself and everyone else to death?
Won't I take a bath?
Won't I wash my clothes?
Will I fall asleep waiting for you, skipping dinner altogether?
Don't I have friends?
Won't I go shopping?
Am I not allowed to fall sick?
Am I not allowed to pray?
Won't I find time to read even a short novel?
Am I not allowed to go anywhere?
Am I not allowed to feel sleepy whenever I want?
Can't I sometimes want to listen to the same song for hours on end?
Am I not allowed to write a few thoughts in my diary?
Are there no other people in my house?
Am I not allowed to spend any time at home?
Don't I have any relatives?
Am I not supposed to check on anyone?
Don't I want to see the dawn?
Am I not allowed to stay up alone in the deep of night sometimes?
Am I not allowed to chat with anyone else on messenger?
Am I not allowed to talk to anyone else on the phone?
Can't I suddenly go out and sit in some restaurant to eat something?
Am I not allowed to visit anyone else's wall?
Don't I sometimes feel like watching a movie?
Won't I finish my syllabus at least once?
Can't I suddenly spend an entire afternoon sitting on the balcony for no reason?
Am I not allowed to look at another man, even with the most trivial glance?
Will only your calls come to my phone?
Will I only wait for your calls?
Am I not allowed to look at the moon alone?
Can't I sometimes feel like crying for no reason?
Can't I drink a cup of tea in comfort and peace?
Am I not allowed to dress up a little sometimes?
Am I not allowed to stand in front of the mirror?
Don't I need to tidy up this messy room?
Can't I go to any events?
Am I not allowed to hum during work breaks?
In my dreams, am I not allowed to dream of anyone but you?
Won't I read the newspaper a little?
Won't I have any time to check my newsfeed?
Can't I get angry for no reason?
Can't I have an argument all by myself?


If nothing else, am I not allowed to spend some private time with myself?
Will I remain like this always, all day, all the time, my whole life, consumed only with you?
In every place, in every matter, all the time—why must you come and interfere?
...Why are you like this?


Tell me, will you let me live a little now?