The Script of Wishful Plumage

 
Let there come such a day, a month, or even a year, when
you will ache to speak with me.
In your eyes will be painted a sea's worth of longing,
you will wait and wait...hoping I might say something!
Beloved Turya, will such a time never come?


When will that day arrive when your heart
will think only of me...!
Just as I long to hold you close to my breast,
I feel that moments, minutes, hours, days may pass—let them,
years may turn on the back of months—let them...
I care nothing for any of it!
Whatever anyone says, I will never turn to listen...
Turya, don't you ever long to live holding me close like this?


Take your time to answer.
Don't keep my questions trapped
in the magic snare of your poetry alone, Turya!
Set them free, let them spread their wings
and return to me as fragments of peace.


Why do I feel that only I
grow so desperate, begging for love, always begging?
Perhaps no one else in the entire world needs love at all!


The way I want you—can't you want me
exactly like that, Turya? Must I remain
forever wrongly desired?


To want me as I am, do too many obstacles
rise from within the heart? This lifelong shy desire—
to wear vermillion in my hair parting by your hand—
will it remain forever unfulfilled, Turya?


Let the unstoppable current of your immortal life-force come
in fierce love and create in my womb...a brother, and his twin sister.
Will you never want me like this, Turya?


Believe me, Turya, one day through the merit of some birth
I will come to this world in the next life with such beauty and virtue
that seeing me, you will fall in love! You'll see—
I will come precisely to make you fall in love with me!
In this birth I may have come somewhat ugly!
People don't come into every birth without beauty, Turya!


O God! If you had to send me to this world,
why didn't you give me that form that could have enchanted him?