The Pull of Leaning Back

Tell me then, spring has just passed,
how will the remaining evenings pass? Have you thought about it?
There are still countless roads ahead...
These days, fear comes from somewhere and raids everything!
Can one live with so much fear?
Has all the ash of courage been burned today in spring's fire?


No, I will never let evening fall again in this life.
Even if a shower comes, I won't open the window latch,
I won't let raindrops touch my skin even by mistake today.
If I do that, who will say then...
Look, move aside, let me just close this window!
You'll get wet, and then a terrible illness will take hold again.
Who will really take care if such fever strikes?
Who will draw out the fever's delirium in the warm current of the chest?


Tell me, what if I become a cloud?
What if I become a cloud and roll in rain-body, seeking happiness?
Won't you take it, tell me, that gentle touch of rain on your skin?
Where do you stay these days...when it rains?
I will float your bit of love away on a cloud-raft
and one day vanish somewhere far for this lifetime!
You won't hear my humming sound anymore,
then whom will those eyes lose themselves in?
I will lock your bit of love in a small box
and run away somewhere far...truly, watch!
No one will be able to catch me that day...
I will hide somewhere completely beyond reach.


Then again sometime if I become a bird and sit by your window,
chirping and calling to you,
...will you recognize me that day?
Will you be able to recognize me at all?
Will you touch me a little, extending those two hands?
Will I still have that longing for your touch then?
Do birds need all that too?


Why am I so foolish, can you tell me?
Whatever pain you have, I simply don't know how to grasp it,
when you're in pain, I understand nothing of it,
I convince myself, I could have understood everything so well...if I were close,
when far away, what is there to understand from such distance!


On those days of such sadness, give me a chance to understand you a little.
When busy, tell me in a muted, cloudy voice
that you don't feel like talking...terribly busy!
I'll understand in that moment...when your heart doesn't want to.
I am terribly selfish, terribly stubborn too.
I torment, I burn with wounds...
Tell me, how much do I really understand you?
Such a terribly foolish me...if you don't know, don't understand,
how can I accept so much?
That's why I'm always easy with forgiveness!


Will you keep one request, tell me?
Don't give my share of love to anyone else, not even by mistake.
Whether that portion is small or large,
even if not a drop is left to give elsewhere,
still don't cheat me, keep my portion for me alone,
don't give it to someone else again! Will you keep it, tell me?
Whatever time in my name, whatever love you've kept, beloved,
be a little honest about that now.
Look, you yourself say, people live on honesty in the end!
Yet why doesn't such talk apply to me?


In this heated world, fire burns everywhere,
every day there are only cries of thousands of sorrows...
When I make a small plea for love to you,
then I feel terribly worthless and helpless.
Well, tell me what should I do thinking about all this?
Can I stop all that?
I don't even want to roast potatoes in that fire!
I understand nothing of all that!
This is why I say, don't take this complete fool into such crowds!


You live a little, I live a little...
Come, let's both live a little.
Truly, this isn't living.
You cry a little, I cry a little...
Come, let's both cry together.
Sharing tears doesn't work this way.
I stay awake a little, you sleep a little now...
Come, let's both see dawn...leaving night behind.
That kind of long wakeful sleep doesn't work.


When you become the sun, I'll be the moon,
then we two will meet at some critical moment...
Tell me, do moon and sun ever sleep!


I don't believe in untouchable love.
After how much waiting will I be able to touch you?
If I cry foolishly like a child, will you caress me a little?
Not as a right, not as achievement,
I want only you...
In each of my innocent prayers, only you remain.


Come roam within me just once, intensely.
Then I will change, I'll become your thief!
If you suddenly come once more, even by mistake,
I'll steal all the 'you' from within you!
The right I've gained only by rising above
all claims of voluntary love,
that's far beyond security...more than even rights!


When you hold me tight to your chest and caress,
gently kiss this forehead,
all this is completely mine, no one else's, mine alone.
When you speak to me with a voice soaked in affection,
play with my body as you wish, as you please,
all of it is mine alone.
I'll never share any of this with anyone!
As I wish, golden bird, blessed treasure...whatever comes to mind,
I'll call you. So much wealth I have, all of it mine alone!
Call me mad, call me selfish too...my share
I'll never give away, not even by mistake!