Reflection: Six Hundred and Three
……………………………………………………
1 December 2014
What happened at Rajshahi University yesterday:
(Shared from the Rajshahi University Career Club page, courtesy of younger brother Rokon, exactly as he wrote it.)
The entire campus was youthful. The event venues were packed. Rajshahi University had perhaps never witnessed such youthfulness except during its convocation!
I had the privilege of attending Murshed bhai’s morning session for about an hour. His words and tips about careers, profiles, and CVs have always seemed brilliant to me, and today was no exception. What I loved most was hearing from his own lips that “after Dhaka, I’m most connected with Rajshahi.” Brother, we feel deeply honored and grateful to have you.
In the afternoon, I only knew that two resource persons would come to speak about BCS. One was Rimel bhai, a distinguished officer, and the other was Sushanta da, who topped the 30th BCS. Naturally, young people are more anxious about BCS, so passes and tickets had sold out long before.
Starting programs a bit late is our Bengali nature, so I deliberately entered a little late. I was somewhat surprised to find the gallery completely full. I’m an organizer, yet I had to sit in the middle row!
But that’s not the big story. The big story is…
# Kazi Nazrul Islam Auditorium hosted its best/most informative/most inspirational session/seminar today!
# In my campus life, I’ve seen and organized many programs. But I had never seen spectators on the second floor of Kazi Nazrul Islam Auditorium. Today that longing was fulfilled too.
# I’ve been studying and working on inspiration and career for nearly two years. I have experience attending countless seminars and motivational sessions. But honestly speaking, I’ve never received this much motivation from any seminar or session. I was thinking about how much those who don’t work or think about these tracks must have benefited!
# One resource person conducted a session for over three hours. No one’s desire to listen diminished even slightly. The audience’s energy for listening never flagged!
# It was spellbinding!
# A friend of mine—I invite him to events but he never comes. After the event, he told me, “Your insistence is good. I needed exactly something like this.” Another said, “When there are events like this, just keep telling me. I’ll definitely come.”
Rimel bhai and Sushanta da, you’ve delivered two great speeches! Particularly Sushanta da’s—I’d say “It was not about BCS, it was about life!” Brother, with a title like “Session on BCS and IBA,” it’s impossible to measure your words, your experience sharing! You say you don’t deserve the “first position.” But I think you truly don’t deserve it. Actually, the word “first” itself doesn’t match your greatness and humbleness!
I won’t elaborate much. The events were awesome, awesome, and awesome unlimited!
I spoke about RUCC yesterday. I’m saying it again:
“The RUCC we had established has truly progressed remarkably—today’s career fair is living proof of that.
Team RUCC, hats off to you! What you can do, really no one else can.”
2 December 2014
feeling State never sleeps!
Customs Intelligence just seized
14goldbars weighing 140 tolas and 77pieces of goldchains from a passenger from
Dubai at Chittagong Airport.
Smugglers propose, customs disposes.
2 December 2014
feeling What irony!
How many people’s happy homes I’m helping to build!
Yet I have no news of my own household.
Today I received the following message in my inbox. I enjoyed reading it immensely. I’m sharing it with the sender’s permission. However, since no one in their family knows about this relationship, and several family members follow my Facebook, I’m withholding the name at their request.
Brother, I can’t help but thank you, so I felt compelled to write. Yesterday was my affair anniversary. And the person I love is so skilled at avoiding studies that if there were a Nobel Prize for such expertise, they would surely win it. Though they’ve never gotten poor results. Even at Dhaka University, they’re first in their department. They’ll take the BCS exam this time. I know that with just a little studying they’d probably do well, but they simply refuse to study. They’re willing to listen to everything in the world except talk of studying. Yesterday, on a sudden impulse, I gifted them the links to your BCS-related notes. I knew they’d be mentally furious with me, but I did it anyway. Hoping that reading your words might spark some interest in studying. But today I received truly astonishing feedback. After reading the links, they apparently studied for three straight hours this morning. Whether BCS happens or not isn’t the main thing—the fact that they studied for so long is a huge gift for me. Thank you so very much again, brother. Those who truly deserve gratitude shouldn’t go unthanked—that would fail to show them proper respect.
3 December 2014
feeling Proud to be a CUETian!!
CUET had promised to make me an engineer. CUET didn’t keep its word. I thank CUET for not keeping its word.
Happy to be a derailed engineer!!!
4 December 2014
Better to invoke God’s name than to speak ill of others. I have so many faults of my own. Speaking badly of someone behind their back doesn’t diminish my own shortcomings. They may not hear it, but in doing so, I unknowingly absolve myself of my own faults. And if they somehow do hear, have you considered how much pain it would cause them?
Always seek people’s blessings. They may not always bear fruit, but I have seen that curses often work. What suffering people give through curses! Better to invoke God’s name instead. It will benefit you, it will benefit everyone.
Never envy anyone. To envy someone means you are dissatisfied with what God has given you. This makes God think: instead of giving to you, it would be better to give to someone who suffers more than you do—that would be more beneficial. Gratitude has power. Whatever state you find yourself in, always remember this: you are surely just a part of God’s grand masterplan. The person you envy—how much do you really know about their struggles? Instead of envying them, do something to become like them. If you feel they are better off than you, pray for them, that they may fare even better. God doesn’t like anyone who doesn’t wish well for those He keeps in good fortune. If you pray for their well-being, your own well-being will follow. This is what life has taught me.
(Last night when Father went to bed, I sat on his bed and we talked about various things. Among many other words, Father also said the above.)
6 December 2014
…………now @ East West University Campus. The Career Adda starts at 11:30
……….liked the campus with Arafat Noman
Thought: Six Hundred Four
……………………………………………………
7 December 2014
What Arafat Noman says about my first Career Adda @ a private university. EWU is the first private university to host this event. Thanks to its career club, the participants and especially to Noman!! Sharing is fun! I believe only a line or even a word can change your life. You’ve to catch it in the same way you love to catch the rainbow!
A souvenir from EWU makes me feel honoured. Thanks to gorgeous Nahid Sir. This person knows how to hide age! Hiding is an art! This person knows how to appreciate. Kind words are healthier than a bowl of chicken soup. We want our university faculties not only to teach the students but also to make them learn how to learn.
7 December 2014
The problem is not that the people
you suspect of being vindictive are often really vindictive; rather the problem
is, you suspect rather than be sure. Stop suspecting, kick them out. RIGHT NOW!
Don’t start believing that a scorpion might not sting, for it’s the only thing
it can do.
7 December 2014
News from my Sylhet career gathering:
(Copied exactly as is from younger brother’s wall.)
Time consuming but not wasting of
time. Read and share- especially those who r from Habiģanj, Moulvibazar,
Sylhet, Sunamganj districts.
“Most people love success but secretly despise successful individuals. Not everyone will like you. If you can’t accept this, those who don’t like you profit the most.”
“Better to fight a lion once and lose than to fight a donkey and win a hundred times.”
“It takes two hands to hold two small things. It takes two hands to hold one large thing as well. If you can’t let go of small opportunities, big ones will slip through your fingers. Live like birds do: leave to live.”
Or— some stories—
Perhaps about bumblebees,
or tales of Sachin Tendulkar and Irfan Pathan, or stories of Humayun Ahmed
and Samaresh Majumdar.
Stories might be of some melancholic soul or of a nobody, or the strange tale of a dog, or perhaps of a car’s headlight, or the story of a happily unsuccessful accidental engineer.
Or answers to some questions—
What is a career?
What makes a good career? Career versus family. Is confidence necessary for success, or is success necessary for confidence?
Or perhaps you want to know the do’s and don’ts of IBA entrance exams. How to overcome weakness in English—how to improve your English proficiency?
“96% of the world’s wealth is earned by just 1% of people. Of those who take the BCS exam, only 1% become cadres. Why is this? It’s partly controlled by factors beyond our control. Don’t worry about those.
Use what is within your control. Plan to be among that 1%. Think less about the misfortune of the other 99%.”
Such talk about BCS. Some tips for passing the irritating, utterly exhausting BCS exam in one go.
Don’t feel like studying?
Simple tricks for doing well in group study or interviews.
Or some stories of liberation from life’s disappointments—
“I’ve seen that just staying alive accomplishes a lot. Except for those very close to you, no one really cares if you’re lost. So stay alive.
Those who find comfort in wishing for your death
— live at least for their sake, if nothing else.”
Surviving is the greatest revenge. So if nothing else, live for your own sake.
Live — for yourself—
Live for others.
I won’t say more—
There is joy in honoring the gifted. And so that such gifted individuals can easily share their intellect and wisdom among all — through the enchantment of their words, in the light of life, so that we too may gain the aspiration to be illuminated — in that endeavor, the “Rotaract Club of Habiganj” is organizing “Career adda with Sushanta Paul” on Friday, 19-12-2014, from 9 AM to 1 PM at the District Shilpakala Academy in Habiganj.
Let me tell you a few things about the person this event centers around—
Sushanta Pal
Securing 1st place on the merit list of the 30th BCS, he currently works as Assistant Director at the Customs Office in Dhaka.
He also secured 1st place in the MBA admission exam at IBA, Dhaka University — the dream institution for most.
Successful in both personal and professional life, this person is one of those rare individuals who didn’t stop after achieving personal success — he has embarked on the noble mission of showing others the path to success through the story of his own achievements.
His Facebook profile cover photo reads: I WANT TO INSPIRE PEOPLE. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK AT ME AND SAY “BECAUSE OF YOU, I DIDN’T GIVE UP”
If you want to find the answer to any of the above questions—
or if you want to hear any of the aforementioned stories directly—
or if you have even the slightest desire to honor the sincere intentions of a visionary officer—
then please come yourself—
inform your acquaintances—
if possible, share on your own wall
— on your friends’ walls.
Share on the Facebook pages of all educational institutions in Habiganj, Moulvibazar, Sylhet, Sunamganj (including all colleges in Habiganj including Brindaban College, SUST, Osmani Medical, JRRMC, NEMC, SWMC, MC college, Madan Mohon college, Agricultural University, Moulvibazar College, all colleges in Sreemangal and others). Inform friends studying at those institutions. Post on the pages of all Rotary, Rotaract, Interact clubs in Sylhet division — inform everyone personally.
Go to the “Career ADDA with Sushanta Paul” event and register.
Perhaps the venue is too small for someone like Sushanta Sir — at a similar gathering at Rajshahi University, there were over 2500 participants. Habiganj is a small town — arranging such a large auditorium isn’t possible. Coming from Chittagong to Habiganj is no small hassle either. We will make every effort to make it successful — I hope that even if small, our sincerity will touch you.
What will be included?
#BCS prelims, written and viva in detail
#Motivational talks
#IBA admission tips and tricks
#Career Guideline
#Q&A Session
Organized by- Rotaract Club of Habiganj
In collaboration with – Interact Club of Habiganj
Your earnest efforts and gracious presence will make our initiative successful
– this will perhaps be our tribute to Sushanta’s endeavor.
So we’ll meet on December 19th, Friday-
at Sushanta’s career chat in Habiganj.
8 December 2014
feeling irritated.
: Brother,
why do you flirt with girls?
: My friend,
would it look better if I flirted with boys?
Damn frivolous people! I feel like grabbing them and making them wear glass bangles and garlands of marigold flowers!!!
10December 2014
feeling mischievous.
On Star Plus, they’re shooting all the beautiful girls in some serial.
What is this nonsense! There’s already a shortage of beautiful girls.
………. There’s no shortage of good girls either, but there’s a shortage of beautiful good girls.
I came to eat at an invitation. They haven’t served rice yet,
so I’m sitting in the drawing room watching serials with everyone.
Why do people always assume
that beautiful girls aren’t good? It’s all media creation!
It’s possible to make a beautiful bad girl good,
but it’s impossible to make an ugly good girl beautiful.
Who said people with beautiful faces don’t have beautiful hearts?
Strange!!
Thought: Six hundred and five
……………………………………………………
11December 2014
Oh my god!!!
I couldn’t even imagine this!!
Drawing my friends’ attention,
Next Saturday, Sushanta Pal bhaiya will come to visit Chittagong University. For those who have missed motivational programs like the career chat or are eager to know him closely, this is a golden opportunity. This is especially significant for law students because our own Aayaan bhaiya will be with him.
Bhaiya will be available from Saturday morning. He’ll come by our traditional shuttle train. Those who are regular passengers of the shuttle train can take the opportunity to spend time with bhaiya from the city itself.
I don’t think it would be wise to let slip this chance to be close to bhaiya.
11December 2014
How to deal with a problem? Well,
never make a problem a problem before/ until/ unless it creates any problems
for you. If I don’t have to, why should I? Simple! Our problem is, we don’t know
how to keep simple things simple, how to leave complicated things complicated.
12December 2014
Tomorrow I’m going to wander around Chittagong University campus. By wandering, I mean really wandering. Nothing else. No career chats or anything like that.
Awakening in winter, this is one of the few campuses in Bangladesh that truly comes alive. Nothing but green everywhere you look. Enchanting as a woman. Visiting this campus, regrets crowd in for not being able to study at this university.
(I haven’t been to Jahangirnagar University campus yet. I hear it’s the queen of Bangladesh’s winter.) The memory of basking in the sun on this campus two winters ago still feels sweet. Tomorrow there’ll be non-stop conversations with all the younger brothers and sisters on campus,
wandering about,
playful photo sessions. I want to drink my life to the fullest! Tomorrow we’ll eat steamed rice cakes with coconut filling sweetened with date palm jaggery on the university campus,
tomorrow the sprite of careers will drench the puffed rice we eat on the university campus. This
is my wish. Right, Ayan?
Tomorrow will be a day for stories of life,
not livelihood.
Let me share an old thought of mine:
The sweet punishment of success is
that people will overrate you and you will feel delightedly embarrassed.
Meeting someone who likes me, my thoughts, or my writing is often a peculiar experience for me. It turns out they feel comfortable thinking of me as bigger than I am, which makes me very uncomfortable. I’d rather everyone hate me for who I am than love me for who I’m not. Just the other day, while having tea at a roadside stall, a young man came up, greeted me, and asked in amazement, “Brother, do you drink tea at stalls too?”
I was thinking to myself, “Crazy boy,
if you only knew what all I do!”
I want
tomorrow no one to call me sir,
call me brother instead. If anyone wants to take a photo with me, don’t ask through someone else, ask me directly. I’m simple,
so I like simple people.
Tomorrow I’ll leave on the 9:45 morning train,
return on the 5:30; the shuttle train. This train never falls asleep, this train has a strange kind of life in it. Riding it makes you want to wave your arms and legs and call even raucous shouting a song, the thunderous abuse of the train’s innocent body doesn’t seem wrong at all,
every minute your age decreases bit by bit, stealing glances at some beauty you think she
was trying to make eye contact with you all this while and just as you looked back she shyly lowered her eyes. All the heart-lifting childishness takes possession. Life seems to have stopped in that compartment. Here time runs out before its time. Here everyone belongs. Here everyone follows the same religion;
the religion of the shuttle train. Tomorrow I’ll reduce my age once again. I wait in anticipation.
My younger brother Prashanta is coming along. He thinks he takes better photographs than his DSLR. Thanks to Ayan for organizing tomorrow’s gathering with his campus juniors. And good news—I’m available at 01716086921.
Now let me share something else. After reading my status yesterday, a girl desperately wants to walk hand-in-hand with her boyfriend along the seashore in this winter dawn. She must have this, whatever it takes! She wants her boyfriend to take half-day leave from the office if necessary. That’s not the problem. The problem lies elsewhere. The poor girl couldn’t find a boyfriend who would walk with her along the seashore at dawn, hand-in-hand. This is how it goes, I suppose. The girl who wants her boyfriend to tuck some jasmine flowers into her hair finds a boyfriend whose jasmine flowers get devoured by philistine goats.
(By the way, do goats actually eat jasmine flowers?)
For those who read this piece thinking “career gathering, career gathering,” I won’t disappoint you. At Chittagong University, under Sir Daud’s initiative and Rotary Club’s sponsorship, the career gathering will be held either at the end of this month or at the very beginning of next month. Junior brother Ayan is overseeing all the arrangements. This Friday, I’ll have a career gathering in Habiganj, organized by Rotaract Club under elder brother Anuj’s initiative. I’ll stay in Sylhet for two days, explore around. I’ll meet friends from Sylhet, have conversations. Waiting eagerly.
13December 2014
In the cockpit……
13December 2014
Just returned from Chittagong University campus. Heading to Batigar. Are any of you friends around that area? If so, give me a shout. If needed, you’ll pay for coffee, I’ll pay for puffed rice. Today I’ll have puffed rice and coffee.
16December 2014
Brother, there are some people who don’t have the courage to consider themselves incompetent, but rather feel more comfortable thinking of themselves as oppressed. Don’t try to fight them. They’re usually greater in number. They’ll drag you into their ranks too.
(My younger brother Prashanta said this during our conversation at the dinner table just now.)
17December 2014
(Copied verbatim from elder brother Anuj Kanti Das’s status)
Just 48 hours left
– On December 19th at this very time, our busyness will perhaps be of a different kind. A few of us will be in final efforts to ensure the outcome of all our endeavors turns out beautiful and successful – one Sushanta-da will be thinking about what new things can be said about career development in Habiganj, what new tonic can be given to encourage those interested in career advancement – and those who come to listen to him will also come to hear some inspiring words
– or to criticize what kind of event a small club like Rotaract Club can organize.
Whatever anyone may think – the time is approaching. Now it’s just a matter of waiting for it to unfold. I’ve spoken about Sushanta-da many times before – let me say it for the last time. He topped the 30th BCS examination. That identity has been largely overshadowed by his current endeavors. Through grand sessions before 3,000 people in Dhaka, 2,500 at Rajshahi University, or career sessions in Chittagong, he has become an icon for the younger generation. Many are finding fresh enthusiasm through his words, new vigor is awakening in countless hearts.
Continuing that momentum, he’s coming to Habiganj this Friday. At exactly 9 o’clock – at the District Council Auditorium in Habiganj. He can speak for extended periods – the good news for us is that he’s confirmed he’ll speak for as long as the participants wish.
So I would urge – let’s not carelessly lose this opportunity. To honor a person’s sincere intention, to hear some wonderfully beautiful words, to learn various tips for BCS preparation, to get simple suggestions for improving English proficiency, or to know everything about IBA admission exams – come join us at exactly 9 o’clock.
Organizer – Rotaract Club of Habiganj. In collaboration with – Interact Club of Habiganj. My job was simply to manage Sushanta-da – all other work has been done by the Rotaractors – through the tireless efforts of Dibakar-da, Shuvajit, Sajib, Roni, Antu, Tapu, Robi, Sekul, Bappu, Dhirendra, Imon and everyone else, I hope we’ll be able to offer something good. I’m not saying thanks because WE are A TEAM. Just 2 more days – so let’s all continue our efforts together one last time.
See you at “Career Chat with Sushanta Pal” – at Habiganj District Council Auditorium – at exactly 9 o’clock.
Reflection: Six hundred and six
……………………………………………………
17December 2014
Details of my next career session:
Date: December 19 (Friday)
Time: 9:00 AM to 1:00 PM
Venue: District Council Auditorium, Habiganj (in front of Brindaban College)
What the session will include:
Motivational session. BCS exam preparation strategies (Preliminary + Written + Viva). Dhaka University IBA MBA admission exam preparation strategies (Written + Viva). Question and answer session.
The session is organized by Rotaract Club of Habiganj.
No entry fee required to join the session, no registration needed – just show up at that time. The session is open to all.
I’m coming to Sylhet on tomorrow night’s train. I’ll be in Sylhet on December 19 and 20. I hope to meet friends from Sylhet, have conversations, and explore around.
18December 2014
Offices too should have winter vacations like schools, colleges, and universities. Don’t grown-ups feel the cold? On winter mornings, being unemployed is easier than taking a bath. In this winter, one even envies the misfortune of the unemployed! What else exists in this world that’s dearer than the quilts and blankets of winter mornings?
No morning walk, no gym!
Who has achieved immortality where and when by doing these things? Death through laziness, death through non-laziness. Therefore, laziness is better. In these bone-chilling winter mornings, the helpless dance of office workers fleeing from the shower—avoiding it and then reluctantly going under it. Alas! What terrible peace employment brings! They catch hold of the little ones and torment them on stage!
You are little,
but why should I grow up because of that?
In this world, alas, who wants to grow up?
Tell me, how does one get up when the office starts at 6 AM?
God bless you.
No one becomes immortal by going to the gym, brother, but you do get a belly-free body
If a belly provides some comfort,
then a belly is better.
19 December 2014
Not much,
just for the appreciation of such an enchanted person, one can ‘talk’ for 4-5 hours!
One can chase wild buffaloes while eating at home!
The Rotaract Club of Habiganj arranged for this enchantment! Thanks to them. In Habiganj, apparently, students had gathered in such numbers for my career chat only once before—the day when Jafor Iqbal sir had come. I talked for 4-5 hours. They didn’t flee, they listened!
Brother Sawon shared this screenshot on my wall. What he wrote when posting this, I’m reproducing exactly:
I’m in the toilet when uploading this snapshot. Truly, tears are coming to my eyes. Thanks to Anuj for managing to bring Sushanta-da to Habiganj. I’m telling Susen Chakraborty, brother, if we can harness this emotion, success will come to our Habiganj.
Sawon-da, you probably don’t even know how helpless you’ve made me by posting this on my wall. Love makes one helpless, doesn’t it?
Can one love that much?
Alas! I cannot!
In this life, how many times I mistake un-love for love!
Antu, tell Susen,
because his name and mine are similar, a certain joy is working within me. What?
Will you remember to tell him?
20 December 2014
On the way to Rema-Kalenga Wildlife Sanctuary…….
20 December 2014
Midday sojourn in the sanctuary. We are 23 people. This is the best for tree diversity. Second best for free roaming of wildlife. In terms of natural forest expanse, it comes right after the Sundarbans.
24 December 2014
And then, gold recovery! Along with an iPhone too.
Many have asked through inbox and phone calls, where am I? Where are my writings?
Am I well?
The answer is,
I was just busy being well.
On the 19th and 20th I was in Habiganj; at career chats, wandering around.
I was in Dhaka on the 21st, 22nd, and 23rd;
for NBR’s VAT online project training.
After a sleepless night bus journey yesterday, I’ve been working at the office since morning with an exhausted body.
Now I don’t feel tired at all. Because of a good piece of detective work I did this morning.
Let me share the news. Our Customs Intelligence and Investigation Directorate’s Chittagong Airport team recovered 33 pieces of gold bars (330 bhori), 150 grams of gold ornaments (7 necklaces, 4 chains, 1 pair of earrings), and 7 iPhones from passenger Mohammad Nurul Islam on Bangladesh Biman flight BG 046 arriving from Dubai at 10:30, with an estimated market value of 1 crore 80 lakh taka.
Smugglers propose, customs disposes.
24December 2014
Ah! 3 days off!
Come, let’s watch movies, eat puffed rice, sleep,
and sing hymns to laziness during this break.
You are industrious,
but why shouldn’t I be lazy because of that?
This note is for those who, like me, believe in the above principle.
(Sushanta Paul published a note. Dating for 150 Taka or My Bioscope Diary)
26December 2014
Gold recovery!
Today around 11:45 PM, a joint team of Airport Customs and Airport Customs Intelligence recovered 24 pieces of gold bars wrapped in black scotch tape inside a black wallet, abandoned in the toilet at Chittagong Airport. The total weight of the bars is 240 bhori (2.8 kg) with an estimated value of 1.2 crore taka.
We suspect that some passenger on Bangladesh Biman flight BG 024 arriving from Muscat at 11:10 PM might have sensed our team’s presence and fled after abandoning this gold.
After duty all day, there’s no sleep on my forehead even at night, you crazy fellow!
State never sleeps!
Smugglers propose, customs disposes.
26December 2014
……….old friends taste like old
wine.
27December 2014
A well-wisher of mine informed me through my Facebook inbox about seven of my flaws, several of which are quite true!
I’m sharing them with you.
One. You don’t maintain contact. It’s not that you do this to avoid anyone. You just ‘forget.’
Later you feel bad remembering this. Even then you don’t call to say hello.
Two. Every girl wants her boyfriend to cherish her, call her all day, check on her, ask ‘have you eaten, baby’ and do all these worldly affairs. You will never do these things in your life. You are just too natural! Disgusting! You can put on quite an act, that’s fine. But that’s not enough. You need to learn some girl-charming hypocrisy too. Learn what they want to hear. It’ll come in handy in the future.
Three. There’s something childlike about you. You need to be raised and nurtured. If any woman thinks that after marrying you, all her responsibilities become yours, then she’s a fool! You’re indifferent about household matters. The poor woman will have to manage the entire domestic sphere herself. You can certainly handle all financial and social aspects, but she’ll have to deal with all the family politics.
Four. Your ego problem is severe. Because you simply can’t ask for things, many around you won’t realize that you need or deserve something. People will take your things right in front of your eyes and claim them as their own, while you sit there with a ‘great mind’ attitude, watching and feeding your ego with puffed rice soaked in superiority. Learn to ask, understand?
Five. You can’t say ‘no’ to anyone. This is very bad. People take you for granted. This isn’t right. There’s absolutely no sense in inconveniencing yourself to do someone a favor.
Six. You spend way too much. On yourself, on family. If it were just this, there wouldn’t be a problem. You throw money around for others too. Just stop paying the bill everywhere. Learn to share. You’ll be getting married soon. Save up.
Seven. You can’t differentiate between who’s a glory hunter and who actually respects you. You pull everyone close. You are just too available! This isn’t right. Learn to build a wall around yourself. More like a shield. Everyone can see, but they can’t touch. Sometimes people can hardly understand your dignity until and unless you make them understand it.
Friends, do any of these match with you? If they do, which one? Or rather, which ones?
Share one of your own flaws/shortcomings……………. (I’ll add another flaw of mine. I have little capacity to tolerate hostile people.)
Those who know me, read my writing, think about me even a little—I’d be very, very, very happy if you’d add some more flaws of mine. Truly happy. I need to improve myself.
Friend, pay attention! I think 80% of those 7 points above should match with you too!
Thought: Six Hundred Seven
……………………………………………………
30December 2014
Small minds get pleasure from fighting with smaller people. Big minds get pleasure from fighting with bigger people. Whom you’re fighting with defines your personality.
You’re powerful? Well, I invite and challenge you to play with my strength, not with my weakness, Sir!
People who prefer to play with your vulnerable points are rather vindictive. Strong people don’t need to slap the rickshaw-walas to show their strength. They’ve their own ways.
Better to lose once fighting with
the lion than to win 100 times fighting with the donkey.
31December 2014
At Nilachal……. parallel to the clouds……. water doesn’t soak you,
clouds do—literally!
31December 2014
A friend is a photographer. Photographer I mean, but not really a photographer, more of a photo-taker, photo-editor, at best a photo-shooter. I’ve called three times now asking for a photo he took at a wedding. He won’t give it. Because he’s busy. He’s busy because I’m not a girl. When I call, he says, friend, I’ll edit it and give it to you, my name will be written in the corner. I told him, write your name, write your father’s name, write your mother’s name, if necessary write your zodiac sign and birth chart too. Just give me the photo. The photo has me with my mother. A very beautiful picture. I want to keep the photo with me. No! Still won’t give it. That my friend takes good photos is a source of pride for me. That my friend acts like a photographer with me is a source of pain. My failure: I’m finding it hard to accept my friend’s photographer mask.
I have a story. Photographer. You’ll find it in my notes. You can read it.
Happiness is: spending all of Thursday evening turning the pages of newly-bought or previously-bought books. After that, a night that might feel good begins when I start reading with the thought that tomorrow there’s no office, so staying up late won’t matter.
Or, diving into a movie at that very time.
I bought all this with hard cash—
Smritikundon
By Brata Chakraborty. By Buddhadeb Dasgupta. Ranjit Das’s selected poems…… Brata Chakraborty is extraordinary! Very much so!!
(Money was spent on these 3 books thanks to my younger brother Rumman’s suggestion. Damn him!!)
Ten novels by Buddhadeb Guha
Father Detienne’s prose collection. Atpoure Dinponji (Two people became memorable by learning Bengali and writing in Bengali. Abu Sayeed Ayyub; he was Urdu-speaking. Father Detienne; he was French-speaking……. Really don’t feel like showing respect!)
Cholar Pather Cholondar
Smriticharana
Joto Dur Mone Pore
Suchitra Sen’s biography: Je Jon Achhen Nirjone
Annadashankar Ray’s collected works (12 volumes)
Cosmos
Lolita
In Search of Lost Time
The Sound and the Fury
To The Lighthouse
Madame Bovary
Middlemarch
Moby-Dick
Emma
Things Fall Apart
It appears that one’s own girlfriend is far more troublesome than another’s girlfriend. Therefore, a wife is better than a girlfriend. A book is better than another’s girlfriend.
Friends! Happy weekend.
I had promised to treat them to coffee. No one came forward thinking that once announced, they’d actually have to be treated. Still, some did come. Some I knew, some I came to know. I’m ready to eat bricks if they’re free. And coffee is a good thing. People who pay bills gladly while sharing good conversation over good food have grown scarce. How cruel and merciless this parsimony. Still, we met, we chatted, stories merged afternoon into evening. We drank coffee. The happy thing is, no one made any promises, so no one had to keep their word. The only sorrow: no one treated me to coffee and made me forever indebted.
I had wanted to return home in debt. I did return. Along with a little light from the lighthouse. What I brought back—
Sudhir Chakrabarty’s “Song Upon Song.” Mingled seen and unseen. Many words from many days
Ashok Mitra’s “Three Score Ten” (5 volumes). “Apila Chapila” (the author was a renowned ICS officer).
Humayun Ahmed’s “Epitaph.” “Infinite Sky.” “Azure Prison.” “Verdant Shade.” “Gauripur Junction.” “Rain and Cloudlands”
A commemorative volume on Humayun Ahmed
Chinmay Guha’s “In Search of the Dark Conch and Other Essays”
Chinmay Guha’s translation of La Rochefoucauld’s “Maxims” (I’d been mentally searching for this book for quite some time. Humayun Azad’s aphorisms are influenced by La Rochefoucauld. Writer Harishankara Jaladas informed me that this book is available at Batighara. Thank you, sir. The next three books were also bought on his recommendation.)
Shailajananda Mukhopadhyay’s (Nazrul’s friend) “None Forgets, None Forgets” — Nazrul memoirs
Chitra Deb’s “The Inner Quarters’ Autobiography”
Manoj Mitra and Amar Mitra’s “Set Afloat in Kopai Waters”
Rupayan Bhattacharya’s “Write the Name Manna in Your Heart”
Srijato’s prose book “My Santa Thakur” (His poetry perhaps contains… Think about it, if a girl who’s never heard Shankha Ghosh’s name proposes to you, what would you say!… something like this line. If I’m wrong, blame Rumman.)
Pandit Ajay Chakrabarty’s “Shrutinandan”
Jatileshwar Mukhopadhyay’s “My Days”
Jibanananda’s wife Labanya Dash’s “The Man Jibanananda”
Monajatuddin’s “From Path to Path”
Abdul Mannan Syed’s “The Purest Poet”
Bhumendra Guha’s “Sketches: Jibanananda”
Sanjib Chattopadhyay’s “In the Throes of Emotion”
Nabanita Deb Sen’s “Love’s Veranda” (She is not known merely as Amartya Sen’s wife)
Clinton B. Seely’s “The Unique Jibanananda”
Muhammad Habibur Rahman’s “Tales of Great China”
Supriya Sarkar’s “Publisher’s Diary”
Tapan Sinha’s “I Remember”
Ritwik Ghatak’s Walking His Own Path on His Own Feet
The book of Ritwik Ghatak’s interviews: Meeting Ritwik
Narayan Gangopadhyay’s Beautiful Journal
Gajendrakumar Mitra’s Those Days
Shamsur Rahman’s Written in the Dust of Time
Binodbihari Mukhopadhyay’s The Painter (my friend Sharad Das Apu had told me about this book. Apu, thank you.)
Samaresh Majumdar’s Bengali Mischief
I came home in debt. Why? The electricity bill is still unpaid.
I’m scheming to become eternally indebted.
When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.
Facebook didn’t exist in Swift’s time when he said this. Had it existed, he might have said,
When a genius appears on Facebook, you may doubt him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy for him.
John Kennedy Toole knocked on publishers’ doors trying to get his writing published, until finally, unable to bear any more rejections, he committed suicide at the age of 31 in profound resentment. His mother, Thelma Toole, took his torn, dirty manuscript to Walker Percy. Walker taught at a college and wrote occasionally. At first he refused to even read the manuscript. “My son suffered greatly when this writing couldn’t be published and took his own life. I’m leaving this with you; please read at least a few pages. If it’s not worthy of publication, don’t send me any news—just throw it away yourself. I’ll take comfort in assuming that perhaps you just didn’t have time to read it.” Saying this, the mother left the manuscript on Walker’s desk and walked out of the office without any hope, the way a helpless mother leaves her child at an orphanage with the wish that even if not well, at least let the child survive. What happened next is known to all. Eleven years after the writer’s death, the American comic masterpiece A Confederacy of Dunces was published, and the author was posthumously awarded the Pulitzer. ………. A song sung by Santosh Sengupta comes to mind……… Those whom you gave no garland in life, why do you come bearing flowers for them in death…….
Kamalakumar and Jibanananda—forget getting published, knowing that no one would ever even read them—what enchantment drove them to write novels with such dedication and love for writing? Those who are writing now, please think about this a little? We sit down to read with such hope!
The book fair comes, so many people write. We readers also wait for this time. We look at books, buy them, sometimes even read them. Lately, after reading, I often feel like saying like the rat in the Ratatouille animation movie: Anyone can write, that doesn’t mean that anyone should.
Thought: Six hundred and eight
……………………………………………………
Books bought for the 4th time this past Ekushey, on the occasion of and without occasion of the book fair……..
Why the Liberation War Was Inevitable
1971 Through Pakistani Eyes
The Collaborator’s Mind
(2 volumes)
The Rise of Bangladesh:
An Eyewitness Account
Mainstream ’71
Surrender at Dhaka
Days of the Liberation War in Exile
From Guerrilla to Frontal War
(2 volumes),
bought this book on the
recommendation of brother Zahidur Rahman
The Rape of Bangladesh
(The Sector Commanders Speak)
Memorable Events of the Liberation War
The Inhuman 1971
Suchitra Sen:
Ascent and
Retreat (I buy anything I can find about Suchitra. Why?
Even if your beloved sends a text with just a dot, you feel like looking at it over and over, never wanting to think of it as meaningless. Something like that, perhaps?)
Body of Shadows
Reading Nature
Gorhatbar
Eight Chambers, Nine Doors
History and
the Historian
Picasso’s Three Women
Jaleshwari’s Journal
Drawn by the Heart’s Pen
Scattered Winds
From Bong to Bangla
A Bengali Woman’s Journey to Japan
In North America
Onu Tareq’s On the Paths of the World
From Ganga-prosperity to Bangladesh (brother
Shahriar Shahid gave me this book as a friendship token)
Four-dimensional Blog Anthology 2014
Ahmad Mostofa Kamal’s Rain Blossoms, The Blind Magician,
Stories of Being Alone, Somewhere Else, The Heritage of Bengali Short Stories
Murtala Ramat’s The Kite of Wild Wanderings
Bishwajit Chowdhury’s Selected Poems
One Day Ahona’s Migration
Get in Line
Forbidden
Dictionary of Abuses
Mysterious Conversations (written by Indramitra. Like Sunil Gangopadhyay, I too am a special admirer of this gentleman’s extraordinary sense of humor.)
My Childhood
(Humayun Ahmed’s)
Twelve Greatest Artists
Shahaduz Zaman’s Blessed by Hearing Kabir’s Devotional Songs
Autobiographical Interview (Humayun Ahmed’s)
Duet of Light and Shadow
(In memory of Mahmudul Haq)
The War of Spices
Spring Lament
Do Birds Have Hearts Too?
Private Life of The Mughals of India
Man’s Search for Meaning
The Death Messenger (written under the shadow of Philip Meadows Taylor’s Confessions of a Thug)
A Room of One’s Own (translation)
Siddhartha (translation)
School (translation)
The Book of Facts (translation)
Narrow Gate (translation)
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich (translation)
Book buying and book trading—this year’s book fair passed in the joy of both.
Books bought in the 4th round on this past Ekushey, both on the occasion of the book fair and otherwise…
Why the Liberation War Was Inevitable
1971 in Pakistani Perspective
The Mind of a Razakar (2 volumes)
The Rise of Bangladesh: An Eyewitness Account
Mainstream ’71
Surrender at Dacca
Days of Liberation War in Exile
From Guerrilla to Frontal War (2 volumes), bought this book on brother Zahidur Rahman’s advice
The Rape of Bangladesh
(Sector Commanders Speak) Memorable Events of the Liberation War
The Inhuman 1971
Suchitra Sen: Ascent and Solitude (I buy anything about Suchitra whenever I find it. Why? When a beloved sends even a dot in a text message, one feels like looking at it again and again, never wanting to think of it as meaningless. Something like that, perhaps?)
Body of Shadow
Reading Nature
Garhatbar
Eight Chambers, Nine Doors
History and Historian
Picasso’s Three Women
Jaleshwari’s Diary
At the Call of the Heart
Scattered Wind
From Bong to Bangla
A Bengali Woman’s Journey to Japan
In North America
Onu Tareq’s On the Paths of the World
From Ganga Prosperity to Bangladesh (brother Shahriar Shahid gave me this book as a friendship token)
Chaturdimensional Blog Anthology 2014
Ahmad Mostofa Kamal’s Rainy Season Blossoms, The Blind Magician, Stories of Being Alone, Somewhere Else Somewhere Other, The Legacy of Bengali Stories
Murtala Ramat’s Whirling Kites of Wandering
Bishwajit Chowdhury’s Selected Poems
One Day Ohona’s Migration
Please Stand in Line
Forbidden
Dictionary of Curses
Secret Conversations (written by Indramitra. Like Sunil Gangopadhyay, I too am a special admirer of this gentleman’s extraordinary sense of humor.)
My Childhood
(Humayun Ahmed’s)
Twelve Greatest Artists
Blessed by listening to Shahaduz Zaman’s Kabir devotionals
Autobiographical Interview (Humayun Ahmed’s)
Duet of Light and Shadow
(In memory of Mahmudul Haque)
The War of Spices
Spring Lament
Do Birds Too Have Hearts
Private Life of The Mughals of India
Man’s Search for Meaning
Angel of Death (Written in the shadow of
Philip Meadows Taylor’s Confessions of a Thug)
A Room of One’s Own (Translation)
Siddhartha (Translation)
School (Translation)
The Book of Facts
(Translation)
The Gaunt Gate
(Translation)
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
(Translation)
Book-buying and book-selling—this book fair passed in the joy of both. Everyone says, gift books to your loved ones. This fair taught me: gift books and become someone’s beloved.
1 January 2015
I’m sharing some of my Facebook statuses from my time there. This alone will say much about this album.
30/12/2014.
1:39 AM.
I have to teach a class at BGB Training School tomorrow at 10:15 AM. Coming tomorrow during the strike would be risky, so on the advice of the Major in charge of training, I came here today in the office vehicle. Their hospitality upon arrival filled me with great joy. At this 1 AM hour, they brought me to their rest house with what amounted to a small guard of honor. I was given one of the most gorgeous rooms to stay in. The room I’m in is more beautiful than any five-star hotel room. Outside my room, 10-12 soldiers are deployed on round-the-clock guard duty. When I went out to walk in the garden, immediately the sound of boots rang out as they saluted. They approached asking, “Sir, what do you need, sir?” (In Defense and sometimes in civil service, sentences begin and end with ‘sir.’) A strange kind of contentment is working within me. With complete honesty I say, given my modest qualifications, in any other job I could never have received such immense respect at the age of 30. I am in no way worthy of even a fraction of this.
Thank you BGB! Proud to be a civil
servant!!
31/12/2014.
4:51 PM.
At Nilachal . . . . . . . parallel to the clouds . . . . . . . water doesn’t make you wet, clouds do—quite literally!
31/12/2014.
9:45 PM.
Wood burning. Straw smoldering. Fire blazing. Sparks flying. Ash scattering. Cold shivering. Smoke swirling. Embers glowing. Bodies warming. Tents pitching. Barbecue setting. Melodies floating. Rabindranath returning. Lalon seeking. Earth beating. Conversations flowing. Camera catching. Hills awakening. Leaves weeping. Rivers calling. Wind singing. Night reveling. Silence speaking. Year ending. Year coming. Joy spilling. Love burning.
31/12/2014.
Approximately 12:00 midnight.
I’m ending the year nearly 1000 meters above sea level. All evening I sang, danced, played. So much more!
Barbecue night on the hillside,
campfire. River below the hills. Village nearby. Now sitting on the platform together, all of us singing, eating. Rain falling on the hills in this cold. My year ends with the hill people in this mountain rain.
Happy New Year 2015.
Friends, what are you doing at this very moment?
May the new year pass well.
01/01/2015.
Approximately 8:00 AM.
Year beginning. On the hillside. On clouds’ wings. In mist’s embrace. At rain’s invitation. Gray shadows in the distance. Of hills? Or clouds? Behind the mist’s veil the Sangu flows on, below the hills. Mist’s vapor merges with clouds. Rain falling, yet not dropping. The rainwater returns again and again to the ancient mountain forest. From that village comes the sound of hill flutes floating. Jhum cultivation along the riverbank. Narrow boats on narrow waters with narrow oars. The mountain morning has stopped still in yellow-green. Simple hill people walk simple wild paths. Some trees have shed their winter clothes. Blue purple green small birds on small trees. You could touch them if you reached out, but cannot catch them. In mist’s confusion, gray smoke drifts in the shadows of green hills. This profound touch of silence is deafening me
. . . . . . .
01/01/2015.
Approximately 9:30 AM.
In cloud-broken sunlight the mist flees,
the hills’ sleep breaks, the river awakens.
The green of hills comes in so many varieties!
I counted. Fourteen kinds. Truly! Only in hills exists this kind of green—gray-tinged green burned by sun through mist and clouds.
Woodcutters are felling trees. Through the meditative stillness of this mountain forest hermitage comes the aged hermit’s cry of anguish. A kind of mute, suppressed weeping seems to emerge throughout body and mind! With the night dew-wet leaves, my eyelids grow heavy in competition. The cruel ironic rivalry of two kinds of leaves! Forest weeping! Metaphorically, literally.
Thought: Six Hundred Nine
……………………………………………………
2 January 2015 ·
: Brother,
I have a viva coming up. I’m very tense. What should I do?
: No problem! Getting tense before an exam is a common courtesy.
: Did you get tense?
: Do I seem rude to you?
: Brother,
what are you saying!
I feel like they won’t ask anything I’ve been studying.
: That happens to everyone.
: But how do I reduce this? Give me some tips.
: No tips. Prepare properly.
: Bhaiya, please. Help me out a bit.
: There’s only one way.
: What’s that?
: Find out which board your viva will be on. Then call the chairman sir or madam of that board and ask what questions they’ll ask you. Study accordingly.
: Bhaiya, you’re pulling my leg.
: No, I’m being dead serious.
: But that’s not possible.
: Then why waste time thinking about it? They didn’t ask me even twenty percent of what I had studied. I was the only candidate on my board who wasn’t asked a single question about the Liberation War. Yet I had extensive preparation on that. Again, they asked me many things they didn’t ask others. Should I file a case against them for preparation damages? They could ask you how to cook noodles and still let you pass, and you could get the job. There are no set rules for viva exams.
: That’s true. But bhaiya, I’m tense about many other things.
: What things?
: For instance, one of my friends’ husband is very powerful. He’ll apparently get people to call the PSC. Bhaiya, I have no one. How will it work without lobbying?
: Then you can do one thing.
: What, bhaiya?
: Convince her husband to agree to a second marriage. You agree too. Then tell him to lobby for both his wives. The idea’s not bad, actually. You two friends will live like sisters for life. You’ll have a happy household, work your jobs.
: Bhaiya, you’ve already made it, so you’re having fun with me.
: Of course I’m having fun. But even before I made it, I never thought about such things. Getting first place never crossed my imagination, but I felt that if not Customs, then at least I’d get a job somewhere down the list in Police as my second choice. I fought for it with all I had. It never occurred to me that I wouldn’t get a job. Who doesn’t get tense about viva? But I didn’t have time to waste on pointless worries about things beyond my control. So much to study!
: Okay, I understand. But bhaiya, everyone’s saying there will be corruption in BCS this time. Many are apparently trying to manage things with money. Starting from 10 lakhs. I don’t know what to do.
: There’s nothing to understand. Just keep arranging money. Cash money. Corruption will happen anyway. To get first rank, I myself spent close to a crore.
: Brother,
Why are you saying this?
Everyone says the same thing. Maybe you don’t know.
: Listen,
I have a friend from the 29th batch in administration. Before getting the job, he didn’t even have money to buy new tin roofing for their house. During monsoons, water would drip through holes in the roof. Far from ten lakh rupees for my friend’s job, he didn’t even have the means to pay ten thousand rupees. Didn’t he get the job?
There are countless others like this. How many do you want to hear about? So many boys and girls from remote villages are getting jobs. Most of those who come into civil service are from ordinary poor or middle-class families. It hurts to hear such talk from you all, understand?
: Brother,
I’m sorry. Well, when many people will get jobs through quotas, someone else is getting my job. This thought also pains me, brother.
: Your job, meaning?
You don’t have quota. They won’t come to the seats allocated for you. 44% is only for you. Your concern should be about the 44%, not the 56%. That’s not yours anyway. That you’re not getting a job—it’s not the fault of those who are getting jobs. You applied knowing the system well, didn’t you?
: But brother, this should be reduced.
: So?
Reduce it. Who’s stopping you?
: But this is not in my hands anymore.
: Why are you thinking about what’s not in your hands? I know this thinking gives great comfort. But studying during that time would also have been useful. There are many, many problems in the world. Among those, thinking about the ones you can’t solve is just wasting time.
: Alright brother, I accept that. What about those who are getting jobs with fake freedom fighter certificates?
Two of my friends took the exam with fake certificates. They’ll get jobs. I won’t, brother.
: Then you also arrange a certificate.
: Brother,
I don’t have the taste for doing this.
: But you seem to have quite the taste for getting a job through it.
: Brother,
you say strange things. The way you’re thinking about me—I’m nothing like that at all.
: Then why does it burn you up so much when you see them? It will burn—that’s the law of the world. But have you ever thought about what you gain from this burning resentment besides wasted time? The world isn’t fair. It’s not your responsibility to change this unfair world. You haven’t been given enough lifespan or working years for that. In every job exam, many candidates sit for the test. Less than one percent of them get the job. Time is short. Either study and get the job, or be too clever and join that ninety-nine percent. Don’t always try to be smart—sometimes be a fool. There’s no other alternative. This is what they call employment. Accept it and stay, or refuse and leave. Jobs are incredibly vexing things.
: You’re saying harsh things, brother.
: I’m compelled to say them. You’ve done plenty of research on BCS, very good. Now tell me, when you send CV after CV to private companies and they don’t call back for no reason at all, doesn’t that make you angry? The nepotism practiced there—not even ten percent of that exists in civil service. I’ve seen corporate culture up close. Much else goes on too. Let’s not go there. But I don’t hear anyone complaining about that. Or does it feel better to curse the government? Bad culture exists everywhere. You have to decide how much you’re willing to accept.
: Brother, you’re getting angry. Fine, I accept it—civil service is good.
: Hahahaha… Listen, there’s no such thing as a good job in this world. “Good job”—to me that’s the finest example of an oxymoron. Still, one must work. What else can we do? I don’t have the ability to do business. Do you know why I get angry when someone speaks ill of BCS? Perhaps this system has many flaws. Where are there no flaws? But this system has given ordinary students in our country the chance to live with dignity. They too dream of living well. Let me tell you about myself. My undergraduate CGPA was 2.74. With that CGPA, you can’t even sit for most job exams, getting a job is far beyond consideration. A student with results as poor as mine shouldn’t expect to get a job at all. But I too, like any other young man, want to work, want to see my parents happy and smiling. Given the state of the job market, it amazes me to think that even I have a job. Just this alone means everything to me. I’m grateful to this system for giving someone like me the opportunity to work.
: Brother, I understand. I got quite a scolding at the start of the new year, but it was beneficial. I’ll call sometimes for more scolding. Please don’t mind. One last thing?
: Go ahead.
: Brother, I too want to become a cadre like you, but I don’t feel like studying. What can be done? Please brother, don’t scold me.
: You want to hear someone call you “father,” but you don’t want to get married—that’s not how it works.
: Okay brother, that’s enough, no need for more. I’ve gotten my answer. Take very good care of yourself.
: Hahahaha……alright, you take very good care too.