Thought: Five Hundred Seventy-Five
……………………………………………………
24 May 2014
Height of irritating:
:Please just stop it!! I’m too busy
even to be irritated!! Just go to Hell!!
:Am I irritating you?
:You’re just a pest! Please leave me
alone!!
:What have I done? Why are you so
rude??
:I’m too irritated to reply!! Go
hang yourself!!
:Are you meeting me or not?
:
:Please reply. You can say just YES
or NO.
:
:Should I buy 2 Cineplex tickets? Am
I still irritating you??
:
:Hey! What do you mean by
‘irritating’?
1. Am I irritating?
2. Is the situation irritating?
Please let me know. You can also
reply in short writing just 1 or 2. It’s important for me to know. Please
reply. I’m waiting for your response.
:
:Why are you always so silent? Am I
irritating?? (God bless her.)
27 May 2014
Rain! Rain!! Feel like eating roasted khichuri with fried hilsa fish and pickled beef curry.
28 May 2014
A heartwarming piece of news first thing in the morning. Brazil’s jersey for this World Cup is made in Bangladesh. To pay tribute to the garment workers who died in the Rana Plaza and Tazreen Garments tragedies, the country’s football association has decided to include ‘Made in Bangladesh’ on the inside of the jersey. We may not be playing, but we’re supporting one of the top favorites. What more could we ask for? Thanks to Brazil on behalf of Bangladesh. Best wishes for the Brazilian team.
30 May 2014
Such complete trust, such absolute dependence—it seems no one can sustain it anymore these days. Why? There could be two reasons.
One. Perhaps no woman wants to surrender herself so completely anymore.
Two. Perhaps there’s no one left worthy of such complete surrender.
Listening to this song makes one long desperately to shelter someone like this.
Why keep me in happiness—
keep me in your embrace;
let happiness burn away.
Let the ground beneath my feet crumble,
You will then grasp the rope,
lift me up and swing me
in that arm-swing’s sway.
Where I would build my home
let floods come as they may—
if you set me adrift
I seek no rescue.
I have accepted defeat,
my fear is gone,
your victory is mine too,
I will surrender,
and in doing so
I will hold you in that sway.
31 May 2014
Alas! Even on such a rainy day, I must be at the office!
I remember
when I was unemployed,
how many days I got soaked in the rain around TSC, pulling down the rickshaw hood. Folding my umbrella and flinging my arms and legs, walking in the rain past DC Hill with kadam flowers in hand. Oh! Now I’ve sold so many dream-kites to this job, burying my face in files while envying those who still don’t have jobs,
in the office corridor
where I can touch the rain just by reaching out my hand,
I keep finding excuses to go there
and wet my eyes, lips,
and fingers. Life’s longing before livelihood somehow dissolves into the cascading sound of water.
: Habib,
where can we get good cake around here?
Bring 4 pieces of cake.
: Sir,
Baker’s cake is good here. Should I get it from there?
: What cake? What’s this Baker?
No no,
get it from a good shop.
: Sir,
we always get it from that shop.
: Where is the shop?
: Sir,
it’s the shop on the right as you come down from our office.
: Oh
I see! Suppressing a smile, I said, go ahead,
bring it.
Wonderful! In one moment Mister Baker became “Baker.” What magic! What sorcery!
The office sometimes doesn’t send you home entirely empty-handed either.
2 June 2014
I feel like watching a movie and having a good cry.
Suggest movies.
12Years A Slave
50 First Dates
A Boy With Stripe Pyjama
A Moment To Remember
A Walk To Remember
Aila
Apocalypto
Baghban
Ballad Of A Soldier
Barsat Ki Mousam
Bicycle Thieves
Blind Date
Blood Diamond
Braveheart
Captain Philips
Cinderella Man
Daisy
Dead Poets Society
Defiance
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless
Mind
Forrest Gump
Gladiator
Grave Of The Fireflies
Guzaarish
Hachi: A Dog’s Tale
Hearty Paws
Hotel Rwanda
I Am Sam
Invictus
It’s A Wonderful Life
Kramer Vs Kramer
Leon, The Professional
Life Is Beautiful
Love Phobia
Miracle In Cell No 7
Mr. Vengeance
My Father
My Father And My Son
My Sassy Girl
Notebook
O Hear Me
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest
Rain Man
Rang De Basanti
Ratatouille
Remember The Titans
Roman Holiday
Saving Private Ryan
Scent Of A Woman
Schindler’s List
Seducing Mr. Perfect
Seven Pounds
Shawshank Redemption
Sophie’s Choice
Stepmom
Sweet November
Taare Zameen Par
Tears Of The Sun
Terminal
The Boy In The Striped Pajamas
The Bucket List
The Canyon
The Classic
The Green Mile
The Hunt
The Impossible
The Last Supper
The Notebook
The Old Man And The Sea
The Pianist
The Pursuit Of Happyness
The Return
The Shawshank Redemption
The Stoning Of Suraya M.
To Kill A Mockingbird
Veer Zara
Vivah
War Horse
Warrior
We Are Family
Wedding Dress
When In Rome
Again You Become Human
The Recess Bell
Memory of a People
Drawn from Life
Dipu Number Two
Acclaimed Hell
Why is Father a Servant
She Doesn’t Understand, She Doesn’t
Give Us Rice
After Death
The Cloud-Capped Star
Why is the Husband an Accused
Reflection: Five Hundred Seventy-Six
……………………………………………………
5 June 2014
: Dude,
Sushanta is really something else. When we were at CUET, none of us imagined what kind of person he was!!
(Various other flowery embellishments continued in this vein.
The sweet punishment of success is that people will overrate you and you will
feel delightedly embarrassed. I
remained in a refined manner,
taking on an air of
‘What was the need for all this!’
and bashfully relishing the sweet sounds.)
: Ahh!! Come on dudes! Who cares Sushanta this,
Sushanta that?!!
Sushanta whatever,
Sushanta whatever?!!
What I do care only is, he has a dick! If he hadn’t, I’d screw him…..ahhhh
sorry!!………her!!! Sushanta, don’t mind, buddy, you’re handsome, na?
Ahh!! Come on dudes! Who cares Sushanta this,
Sushanta that?!!
Sushanta whatever,
Sushanta whatever?!!
What I do care only is, he has a dick! If he hadn’t, I’d screw him…..aahhhhh
sorry!!………her!!!………………. Just an awesome dialogue!! Too awesome!! Friends must be like this!!
Lately, as the number of acquaintances increases,
the number of friends keeps decreasing. Whether this is due to busyness,
self-consciousness, or simple selfishness, I can’t quite figure out. Along with it has grown the torment of false intimacy — I’m causing pain, I’m receiving pain. Days pass through strange interactions. Friends are becoming acquaintances,
acquaintances are not becoming friends. Being lonely in a crowd is simultaneously pleasurable and painful. In the midst of all this,
when old friends remain in their old forms like this, being alive feels deeply joyful.
What must be said……….
“That truth which you will compose,
Not all that happens is truth. O poet, know your mindscape
to be truer than Ayodhya,
the birthplace of Rama.”
8 June 2014
I’ll be in Chittagong for 5 days.
Thursday: classes for assistant revenue officers at Chittagong Bond Commissionerate and VAT Commissionerate.
Sunday and Monday: office work.
Monday: classes for assistant revenue officers at Customs and VAT Training Academy.
I’m returning home. Coming home is a strange thing. It feels good to think,
it feels good to smile for no reason,
it feels good to forgive even when someone hurts you,
it feels good to smell books, to walk around the house and the attic,
it feels good to find goodness in everything.
It even feels good to be alone. The one who came has left; I had brought them back again only to make their leaving easier; even the memories that surround them can be chased away when they return to haunt. I don’t bother God much anyway; when I’m home, I don’t bother Him at all;
He too remains in peace.
There’s only one sorrow;
when I return home, I see so clearly from close up
how my parents are truly growing old. They aged while raising me. When I was helpless,
they stood by me. When they’re becoming helpless, I can’t be there for them. All my selfish achievements begin to feel meaningless before this realization. The care my younger brother gives to our parents by staying close—
I don’t have the privilege of doing that. My job begins to feel like a cruel, ironic monster; it takes away, yet because it takes away, one realizes there’s something in life worth taking away.
Age is advancing,
let it advance. But why is despair growing alongside it?
Despair of every color. All these pointless thoughts crowd into my head too.
What is home?
The place where beloved people wait for my return. Where my mother lives, my father lives, my younger brother lives,
where my books live. Where, upon returning, my accumulated unspoken conversations with mother run out before the leave does;
where all the things I plan to do when I go there
never even come to mind. In Mandakranta Sen’s poetry, home becomes home as fully as nowhere else I’ve seen. Let me share it.
Home means a house wrapped in shade
Opening the door, stepping into the courtyard
Home means I’ll return quickly
Home means remembering you
Home means field after field
Sunlight stretching its legs along the ridges
Broken stone steps by the pond’s edge
I’ve cooked rice,
won’t you come bathe?
Home means when evening descends
We’ll light the oil lamp and sit side by side
The quiet neighborhood,
when eight o’clock strikes
From afar we’ll hear the train’s whistle
Home means throughout the night
A love deeper than sleep
Home means filling your eyes
With gathered dreams brought back
Home means all these little things
Home means from sky to earth
On one side the path,
Difficult walking
At path’s end,
Home means—
You.
11June 2014
Want Argentina supporters, not anti-Brazil supporters.
Want Brazil supporters, not anti-Argentina supporters.
I am ‘for now’ a Brazil supporter.
Seeing public madness makes me nearly mad myself. Today I watched Argentina supporters march while two Brazil supporters shouted “Fake! Fake!” at them, whereupon several people grabbed those two and gave them a thorough beating. Got massive entertainment! Such excessive amusement left me in an utterly buoyant mood. Hehe…
Now whatever I see delights me. I’m returning home. It feels like the most beautiful words in the world: going home.
12June 2014
Going to the lighthouse, will stay a long while. Are any friends around that area?
13June 2014
May the vermillion in your hair-part be eternal… That’s what they say, isn’t it? But seeing certain memsahibs, one feels like saying in the manner of Rajsekhar Basu: May the vermillion on your lips be eternal. My apologies, Parashuram! (Syed Mujtaba Ali himself praised this line.)
16June 2014
: Friend, today too I wake to see such a beautiful morning alone. The rain-soaked stretch across my entire body and mind still breaks only with the steam of warm coffee. Without a beloved’s touch, even the cold feels far too cold! Do you understand, friend—the needless, pointless, unwelcome, illegitimate expansion of age.
: Why alone? Auntie wakes very early! And for the monsoon chill, green tea is actually better for perking up. Guru, you taught me that yourself! If you want to feel even more energized, you could do a bit of light jogging too. (Followed by diabolical laughter)
What cruel humor!
From friends expect only friendship, not matchmaking. Let others call for various tasks! What harm in a little help? When unnecessary sudden outbursts of violent rage occur, go far away and, soaking with Sprite, chew chew chew while dancing eyes smile in rage-swollen sockets, pointing fingers at hard things while swaying the body in immense mental joy, eat puffed rice. Before eating puffed rice, never forget to soak it well with Sprite; certainly eat silently—let those who are happy remain happy, may the distant sound of the anxiety-ridden father’s son’s rice-munching not disturb anyone’s happiness in the slightest.
Looking at your households, friend, I shall think no more.
I will not disturb anyone’s peaceful sleep all day with torment.
Thought: Five hundred seventy-seven
……………………………………………………
17June 2014
I said it before,
Birth, death, marriage,
Bangladesh’s victory
— these four
are in God’s hands.
So, no credit goes to India, all
credit goes to God.
But watching today’s match, it seems
Sometimes even God Himself proposes, Bangladesh disposes. Our fierce golden boys say,
Bah! What’s left in life anyway!
We’ll win no matter what. Go ahead and try to beat us!
B-)
The rascals are all
‘genuine tigers’!
Watching today’s match reminded me: who wrote Rabindranath Tagore’s ‘Sonar Tori’?
Failing at such elementary questions and losing such a winnable match today
amount to the same thing. I don’t like hearing such saccharine platitudes after such an utterly wasteful defeat. Sorry.
20June 2014
If you cannot help a person to do
something, you have no right to demoralize him/her saying that he/she cannot do
it. But many people do exactly that. Then there are those who, having failed to achieve something themselves,
assume no one else can either;
their advice brings to mind the tale of the fox with the severed tail. A child not wanting to eat is nothing new—children throughout the ages have been reluctant eaters,
no demon child has ever been born into this world,
yet parents find countless ways to feed their children;
one must learn how to make a child eat.
20June 2014
Sharing verbatim from the group BCS: Our Goal [Largest Job group of
Bangladesh]. If friends are interested, we’re willing to provide this kind of help; in Dhaka or outside Dhaka as well. We’re particularly enthusiastic about this sort of selfless, community service work.
“On Career Conversations/ Free Seminars”
I posted something in this group two days ago. The story of a person who rose to greatness entirely through his own efforts. For those who haven’t read it, I invite you to take a look—you’ll find it inspiring, even if only a little. Many have asked for the identity of that extraordinarily resolute person; in the comment thread, in inboxes, even over phone calls. I’ve written a disclaimer in the comments as well; many may not have noticed it. Masfi wrote in the comments that we could help that boy; that I should visit his office with him in mind. I thought, why only him—there are many like him who are losing themselves because they couldn’t make the right decisions at the right time. Those of you who occasionally connect with us know that we often provide this kind of help; purely out of a sense of responsibility. Masfi had organized seminars several times, and I was supposed to attend, but at that time I was posted in Chattogram; so the opportunity never arose. I myself went as a guest speaker to a career chat at my own university’s invitation (Am I a guest at CUET?? It’s my university, my home; I’d go whether invited or not—when my younger brother does something good, that’s my achievement too. But there was something like that on the invitation card). I’m supposed to attend a similar gathering at Chittagong University soon. It truly feels good when I think that a person who at one point had no desire to complete his honors, who somehow finished graduation with a 2.74 CGPA—some people are finding a bit of rhythm in their lives because of his words. Rising to my current position purely through dreams and hard work. Students prepare for BCS or IBA admission exams with many misconceptions. They hear that these exams are extremely difficult. But I say, for those who are journeying in the hope of meeting this difficulty by loving this difficulty, knowing that it’s difficult for them is less important than knowing how to complete this journey well. Therefore, I believe, if you cannot help a person to do something, you have no right to demoralize him/her saying that he/she cannot do it. But many people do exactly that. Then again, there are many who assume that what they couldn’t achieve, others won’t achieve either; their advice reminds me of the tale of the fox with the severed tail. A child doesn’t want to eat—that’s nothing new, children have refused to eat throughout the ages, no demon child has ever been born into this world, nor is there any possibility of one being born in the future, yet how ingeniously parents manage to feed their children; one must know how to feed the child. And for the job whose comforts you’ll enjoy for the next 30 years, if you won’t work properly for even 3 months, that’s not right. Good things are always few in number. Lately, many candidates with excellent results are taking the BCS exam; this is wonderful news for us and our country. Top students from renowned institutions like IBA, BUET, DMC, CUET, DU, and many others are coming forward. Any success is the sum total of preparedness and confidence. Only your results are rewarded, not your efforts. Think about it for a moment—the time when you enjoyed life without studying or by studying less, those who didn’t enjoy themselves then are, in most cases, those top students. If you can equal that sum total with technique and hard work, then there won’t be any difference between you and them.
In competitive examinations of this kind,
more crucial than deciding what to study
is determining what to leave out. That is the real challenge!
Most coaching centers teach too much unnecessary material; purely for commercial reasons. The transparency and popularity of the BCS examination has increased tremendously compared to before. Some credit for this certainly goes to Dr. Sa’dat Husain sir.
We who were once completely lost souls, whom everyone considered worthless,
who at one time didn’t even dare to dream that we could achieve anything in life,
who have now brought ourselves to a time when we can speak comfortably of our past failures through our own efforts entirely—a few such people have decided that for those whose journey of dreams is not yet over, we will occasionally speak at seminars or gatherings between our work. By we, I mean
myself, Masfi, Rimel bhai, Abhijit
(first in Administration in the 33rd BCS),
Imtiaz bhai
(my close friend, who was the first boy from IBA in our batch,
now a teacher at IBA). We will also request Andalib (first in Foreign Affairs in the 30th BCS), Ridwan
(first in the combined merit list in the 33rd BCS),
and several others to join this initiative.
Let me clarify a few things.
# None of us will accept any kind of financial benefit from anyone; meaning the seminars will be completely free.
# To echo Jibanananda, there is no pure job in this world. It still seems to me that having a job is already quite enough. I have never found work to be something I enjoy. Yet I still don’t consider myself capable or brave enough to quit my job. There’s no alternative refuge, the only consolation is that at least there’s a job. So we won’t limit our seminars to BCS alone but will also discuss other jobs and admission tests including IBA and others. Our purpose is singular:
no one should prepare based on wrong information.
# None of us will ever open a commercial coaching center. If we ever teach anywhere, it will be completely without payment. We want to do this purely out of a sense of responsibility, voluntarily. Masfi, Rimel bhai and I regularly try to help you in various ways. Sometimes a few of you make personally attacking comments,
which hurts deeply. Before making such remarks, please consider
that none of us are obligated to help you.
# Most importantly,
you must take all kinds of initiative regarding organizing these seminars. However, we can help with advice and guidance. You will collect the seminar hall rent through contributions from everyone.
In this post, I’ve shared our thoughts on behalf of everyone. If you’re interested, we’re willing to help you occasionally without any financial incentive. However, you must take the initiative—I’m saying this again. I await your opinions. Any feedback or questions, write in the comment thread
(Masfi will answer all questions).
Thank you.
Thought: Five hundred seventy-eight
……………………………………………………
29June 2014
Brazil played……. good.
Chile played…….. better.
Referee played……… best.
When you win, everything looks good.
Friends, losers might say whatever
they wish, winners never mind.
29June 2014
The Experience of Watching Sports in the Hall/Hostel TV Room:
# When the ball approaches the goal, the boys start screaming so loudly that the players get nervous and miss the goal altogether.
# The hostel chairs are quite sturdy. They don’t break even when you slap them hard.
# A couple of carefree souls light up cigarettes just for the pleasure of it.
# A couple of know-it-all types—’chattering men’—become utterly annoying. (There’s one distinguished ‘chattering man’ in the IBA MBA 45th batch. Who is he? This is a quiz for friends.)
# If you sit near the overly enthusiastic types who’d martyr themselves for their team, their wild gesticulations might land you a punch or two—not just on your forehead, but on your face and body as well.
# The same goalkeeper gets sweets from some and kicks from others.
# It seems like if these boys were put on the field, they could score dozens of goals.
# Some people fight over seats under the fan.
# When someone doesn’t like another person’s opinion, they’re ready to glare and scold for their beloved team.
# Everyone hurls obscenities at the players in their own colorful language.
# When they don’t like the referee’s decision, the boys curse him every minute.
There are other things that happen too. I can’t remember them all right now.
Friends, please add your own observations.
29June 2014
And, Brazil wins!!Only your results
are rewarded, not your efforts.
PS, well played, Chile!
30June 2014
My grandmother. Simantika Pal. Her memory and reading habits were enchanting. Her command of Bengali was extraordinary. (Like many others in our family)
My name Sushanta was chosen by my grandmother.
Grandmother’s hair never turned gray. Why it didn’t, remains a wonder to me even today!
30 June 2014
My grandfather. Abinash Chandra Pal. A professor of Bengali, he taught at Sir Ashutosh College. A reciter. He was also an amateur actor, performing in stage plays. He wrote as well. His personality, refined taste, and aestheticism were remarkable.
30June 2014
My great-grandfather. Sachindra Mohan Pal. He was a legal assistant at Chittagong Judge Court. He was a food lover; enjoyed both eating and feeding others. Both his income and expenses were abundant. He was a benevolent, simple-hearted man.
My great-grandmother. Amrita Bala Pal.
30June 2014
From the walls of my home………
My parents. A photograph taken shortly after their wedding. I’ve uploaded this picture exactly as it came out when I took it directly from the frame with my mobile camera.
Father: Sanjib Kanta Pal. Lawyer by profession.
Mother: Mamata Pal. Once taught at a kindergarten school, now a homemaker.
1 July 2014
Not that I support Brazil because they play better than Argentina; I support Brazil for its name as it’s sexy……. You get a sexy feeling followed by zeal. What else do you need? Go Switzerland, Go!!
You get a sexy feeling followed by zeal. What else do you need?
2 July 2014
Pure torture. Look how those neighborhood rascals are running poor Tina around the entire field like this — what the hell…??
2 July 2014
Argentina just saves millions of heart-attacks!! Thank you, Dudes!!
2 July 2014
When women fall for someone, if they somehow discover that the man once loved, or still loves, another woman, they cannot stop asking — whether that other woman did this or that, things she herself does or doesn’t do or cannot do; what he thinks of that woman, whether he thinks of her at all; what qualities that woman possesses that are more or less beautiful than her own — and so much more. No matter how much the man deflects these questions, no matter how he tries to avoid them, it serves no purpose; rather, in this way the woman unknowingly forces the man to remember that other woman even more, even if he had forgotten her completely! These innate curiosities of women are what keep women womanly, and one cannot help but love them for it. Love will inevitably include nagging, though this nagging is not as pronounced among men. But when it comes to loving completely, with everything one has, in one’s own way — do men fall behind? Is this indifference? Or detachment? Or apathy? Or perhaps an inherent masculine disinterest in incorporeal, Platonic love?
I’ve noticed something. This happens in almost every case. When women love men, they love both their good and bad qualities together. Here love itself is primary, the bad qualities secondary. When men love women, they love what is good in them. Here the good is primary, love itself secondary. Therefore, in women’s love the beloved becomes magnified to a degree that perhaps doesn’t happen in men’s love. The evolutionary psychological tradition explains both forms of love. That’s a story for another day…….
Statutory warning: This is no divine revelation, merely a personal Facebook status. Nothing more than a simple confession to Mr. Zuckerberg’s “What’s on your mind?” prompt.
False words. I’ve seen many women who can never love from the heart. When their father scolds them, they leave their lover for no reason at all. It’s not as if the father was unaware of the love affair, yet………….
The joy of love lies precisely here; in the nagging.
3 July 2014
My 3rd career chat will be with friends in Sylhet on the 12th. The first one was at CUET, the second will be at Dhaka University on the 5th. I’ll tell you about the ins and outs of these chats later. For now, I’m sharing this piece from the event page on my wall. My younger brother Sharif has shared parts of this writing on the “Seminar on Journey to BCS at SUST, Sylhet” page.
Reflection: Five hundred and eighty-nine
……………………………………………………
3 July 2014
The Career Club of the Department of Information Science and Library Management at Dhaka University has organized a career chat starting at 9:45 AM on Saturday, 5 July. The department has invited me as the main speaker. Joining me will be Ridwan Islam (1st in the combined merit list of the 33rd BCS examination, 1st in BCS Foreign Affairs) and Avijit Bosak (5th in the combined merit list of the 33rd BCS examination, 1st in BCS Administration).
I’ve recently taken this initiative. A few days ago, I shared my enthusiasm about these kinds of career chats and motivational seminars with all my friends on Facebook. After that, one of my younger brothers, S. Ahmed (Sabbir), contacted me and spoke with the professors to organize this career chat for his department, and he succeeded. I thank Sabbir. This chat isn’t on a very large scale, so only department students will have the opportunity to participate.
My first career chat was at my own university, CUET. The next one will be on the 12th at the central auditorium of Shahjalal University of Science and Technology. This chat will be open to students from all educational institutions in Sylhet. Another younger brother of mine, Sharif, took the initiative to organize it. Thank you, Sharif. After that, I’m supposed to go to Chittagong University. It’s not true that you can’t always find someone by your side when you try to do something good. For those whose careers haven’t started yet, I’ve always been there for them, am there now, and will continue to be. Let’s see.
5 July 2014
Many people have asked me in my inbox about what I said at today’s career chat at Dhaka University. For them, I’m sharing my today’s presentation in a very brief form. I said so much more than this. All in all, it was a wonderful day today. With me were Ridwan (1st in the combined merit list of the 33rd BCS examination, 1st in BCS Foreign Affairs), Avijit (5th in the combined merit list of the 33rd BCS examination, 1st in BCS Administration), and Khademul Bashar bhai from the 25th batch of the Audit Cadre. The interesting thing is that I found many similarities between their way of thinking and studying style and my own. In preparing for the BCS examination, many of their techniques matched mine (those who were there today might have noticed this). Professor Jabed, Professor Saiful, Professor Rokon, and Professor Mezbah from the Department of Information Science and Library Management showed tremendous sincerity regarding today’s chat. I thank them. Although the understanding was that students from outside that department wouldn’t be at the chat, many came anyway. I’m truly overwhelmed by everyone’s enthusiasm! I thank Sabbir (S. Ahmed) once again. Today was his birthday, and even so, he devoted a lot of time to making today’s event successful.
The Story of a Nobody
Those who are here—are they truly left behind?
This is how my story begins.
Looking back. The story of being a nobody. The story of the boy with the worst results;
the one no one ever dreamed about. Days of humiliation,
nights of tears.
What does it mean
to ‘amount to something’? The bitter cup’s defeat and what follows. Simply being alive is already quite something.
Changing life’s direction again and again. The story of indecision. Never it’s too late to realize it’s already getting late.
The story of not living someone else’s life, of refusing to compromise with existence—a happy unsuccessful accidental engineer’s story,
a depressed businessman’s story.
Happy to be derailed! Thank you God, you didn’t listen to my prayers!
The two most important tasks: deciding what to do. Actually beginning the work. The easiest way to start anything
is just to start it.
Is confidence essential for success,
or is success essential for confidence? I can’t do it, I can’t go on,
I quit!
It always seems impossible until
it’s done. The difficulty level of most of the competitive exams is overrated.
— Why? Those who top the civil service exams—they’re human, aren’t they?
If you are not thinking about your
dream, you are not thinking at all.
You can never deserve success, you
have to always earn it. Fact is, your success is what you think you earn, your
failure is what others think you deserve.
What’s the point of asking Bill Gates for business ideas about rice and lentils?
People have a natural talent of
undermining your attempts to which they are not familiar with or don’t feel
comfortable about. There are some people who can never appreciate. So, it’s
foolish to judge yourself by what they say. Kind words are healthier than a
bowl of chicken soup.
Don’t be serious, be sincere. Not everyone can do everything. Accept this.
Don’t work hard only, work smartly
too.
Being good at studies from childhood. Sometimes it’s your bad luck!
People want to see you as they want, not as you want to see yourself.
Stop overthinking. If you’re going
through hell, keep going. Que sera sera—whatever will be, will be.
To become successful you’ve to start
young. It’s even more important to fail young if you really want to fail in any
of your attempts. To fail successfully is an art.
Life didn’t come to us with a
user-manual. So, it’s our right to use and to abuse it!
Deciding what you really want matters. It took me almost two decades to decide what I really wanted. When I’d decided finally, it took me only a few months to get what I really wanted.
Success. It’s not the opposite of
failure as popularly believed; it’s just living without sighs. It’s just
dancing in the manner you want and making people think you dance well even if
you don’t. It’s making your style others’ favourite brand even if it’s foolish.
It’s sometimes making people laugh listening to your even worst jokes. It’s
making others hear you even when you don’t speak. It’s taking the opportunity
to tell others that meeting your previous millionth failure was essential,
anyway. It’s making your failures worth-mentioning by you or by others.
Only your results are rewarded, not
your efforts. This is the way the world accepts or rejects you.
Reflections on BCS and IBA Admission Tests
From the 10th to the 34th BCS, solve the preliminary exam questions from PSC’s non-cadre positions (at least 250-300 sets if possible), along with all previous years’ questions from IBA’s BBA+MBA, BIBM’s MBM, DU’s EMBA, and private university MBA admission tests. Understand them thoroughly and solve them properly. Develop a clear understanding of the question patterns. This is the first step to begin your preparation. More important than knowing what to study is knowing what to leave out while studying. Read the mind of the question setter, not the mind of the guidebook writer. It’s better to study questions for 1 hour than to study without understanding for 4 hours. Then what takes 4 hours to learn can be learned in 2 hours. Apply the POE.
Study critical reasoning from GMAT, verbal sections from GRE, puzzles, mathematics from GMAT+SAT, comprehension from IELTS, error finding from TOEFL, Norman Lewis’s book for vocabulary, GRE+GMAT word lists, Reader’s Digest, and The Daily Star. Buy the guidebooks available in the market. You can watch English movies with subtitles. You can listen to news from CNN, BBC, Al Jazeera. You can regularly solve GRE+GMAT questions online. (Not all of them, just the ones that appear in exams.)
The questions that seem a bit difficult—read them multiple times. Let me share a fact. There are some difficult questions that don’t stick in memory even after repeated reading. Stop trying to remember those. Because one such question can drive several easier questions out of your head.
In competitive exams, preparedness works better than preparation for performing well. Maintain the attitude “I’m the best” in the exam hall. It works like magic!
One thing is very true. Being academically good doesn’t necessarily mean someone’s career will be good. Try to have the last laugh. Let some time in between pass in tears, neglect, and contempt—no matter.
Success in the BCS examination depends largely on four core subjects: English, Mathematics, Science, and Bengali. Focus intensively on these four areas. Identify the segments where candidates typically score poorly but where higher marks are achievable, and prepare yourself thoroughly in those areas before entering the competition. Study short questions, annotations, brief notes, summaries, central ideas, elaborations, translations, grammar, and similar topics with care. The difficulty level of BCS and IBA admission tests strikes me as somewhat overrated. While these are competitive exams—and this is true—it’s even more true that there aren’t usually many candidates capable of real competition.
Restrain the natural greed to study everything. No one can attempt the BCS or IBA admission exam with one hundred percent preparation. For success in any competitive exam, far more important than deciding what you will study is understanding what you will leave out. Rather than reading an unnecessary topic once, read the essential topics repeatedly.
For the BCS examination in Science and Technology, Bangladesh Affairs, and International Affairs—draw relevant diagrams and maps that have been identified as necessary. Include various data, tables, charts, and references where appropriate.
Read newspapers regularly for the BCS. If possible, at least five to six. You can read them online. During this period, instead of reading entire papers, focus only on the sections necessary for the examination. Study guide books—if possible, at least three to four sets. However, be aware that guides often contain errors. This is natural. Therefore, you’ll need to make corrections while reading.
You must read various references, texts, and authoritative books. Many questions in the BCS exam don’t appear in common sources. Having read these books makes answering easier. When responding to questions, including quotations from various authors’ works, newspaper columns and editorials, relevant constitutional articles, and citations from different references will increase your marks. Using blue ink for these portions will make them easily catch the examiner’s eye.
There’s no special need to take notes while studying. You won’t have that much time. Instead, note down which source you’re reading each question from. This will be useful during revision. Keep regular track of constitutional interpretations of Bangladesh, official websites of various organizations, some international publications, and similar resources. Maintain collections of data and information. Present them with appropriate references in your exam papers as needed.
Good handwriting is fine, but it’s not a problem if yours isn’t. You need to write very quickly in exams. Therefore, practice writing one page every three to five minutes. Make sure your writing remains legible. Good presentation increases marks.
Never leave any question unanswered. If you don’t know the answer, at least write something based on your understanding. The fact that you’re leaving a question isn’t the problem. The problem is that someone else is answering it. Create your own suggestions and notes. Don’t follow anyone else’s suggestions. Don’t listen to the coaching center-style false assurances that “this question will definitely come.”
Practice writing non-stop on various topics from time to time. Develop the habit of reading extensively on different subjects. This will enhance the quality of your writing. There’s no need to memorize any answers. Rather, read repeatedly from various sources. Cultivate the habit of writing from understanding.
In which language should I write answers in the BCS exam? English? Or Bengali? Many people ask this question. I wrote in Bengali and topped the combined merit list. In this language, one can move forward comfortably saying ‘I belong here’… What a wonderful mystery! Isn’t it? However, you can also write in English. In that case, fluency and clarity are paramount.
Many will say, “I’ve already finished reading such and such topics!” Take it easy. Just because someone before you finished their work doesn’t mean they’ll have the last laugh. Sometimes you won’t feel like studying—I didn’t either. Wanting to study all the time isn’t a sign of mental health. Why so serious? So take breaks, give your studies a rest. Occasionally. There’s no point in being upset because you couldn’t study for two days and then wasting two more days in regret. Where’s the time for remorse?
Maintain eye contact during the viva. Looking elsewhere while speaking serves no purpose.
You won’t be nervous—that’s impossible. You will be. Leave some responsibility for overcoming that nervousness to the situation itself. Sometimes nervousness works for you.
Positive attitude, mental maturity, ready wit, thought clarity, decent appearance, etiquette, common sense, cool temperament, English fluency, situation handling capability, analytical skills—these are what the viva board looks for.
Don’t listen to or do anything that breaks your confidence or prevents you from being yourself.
Sometimes not showing smartness is the smartest thing. The first impression created within the first twenty seconds of seeing you largely determines the pattern of your viva.
Those who don’t understand are the ones who talk the most. They also exaggerate. Avoid their advice. Not understanding is better than misunderstanding.
More important than what you’re saying is how you’re saying it and what you’re concealing, how you’re concealing it. Hiding is an art. Learn euphemisms.
Practice conversation in English. But not with someone who only points out mistakes.
Keep a fair idea about civil service, your subject, and your first and second choice of cadre. However, experience says there are at least a hundred techniques for doing well in vivas, none of which actually work. What you’ve already accumulated will serve you better than what you’re trying to accumulate.
Don’t worry too much about what you don’t know. Perhaps you won’t even be asked about it. And if they do ask and you can’t answer, so what? If more marks were allocated for answering questions in vivas, many parrot-type people would get jobs.
Present yourself as an enthusiastic listener. The notion that staying longer in the viva board will earn you more marks seems misguided. I was in the BCS viva board for 4-5 minutes. Being there for less time doesn’t necessarily mean very good either. I was in the IBA viva board for 18-20 minutes.
Cultivate a down-to-earth demeanor on your face, such that it becomes difficult for anyone to scold you. This truly works.
Keep in mind that thinking you’ve learned a hundred percent, then forgetting sixty percent of it and properly utilizing the remaining forty percent—that’s the art.
Let this conversation end with stories……..
First story:
A crow was sitting idly on a high branch of a tree, doing nothing. Just then, a rabbit was passing by on that path. The rabbit asked the crow, “Listen brother, can I also sit under this tree doing nothing like you?” The crow replied, “Of course you can!” The rabbit did exactly that.
A while later, a fox was passing by on that path. Seeing the rabbit sitting there, the fox quickly caught and devoured it.
What’s the lesson of this story? The lesson is: when you’re sitting in such a high position that no one can touch you, then you can sit back and relax. However, before that, you must work hard to earn the qualification to sit in that position. Think about which position you’re sitting in right now.
Second story:
A little bird was leaving Siberia to escape the harsh winter. Suddenly the bird froze and fell to the ground with a thud, like a chunk of ice. Some time later, a cow walking down that path defecated on the bird. After a while, the warmth of the dung melted all the ice on the bird’s body. The bird then began singing joyfully. A cat was sitting nearby. Hearing the song, the cat pulled the bird out of the dung and ate it.
What are the lessons of this story?
The first lesson is: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. This means that those who throw dirt on us—that is, those who scold and rebuke us—are not all our enemies; many of them actually want what’s best for us. This group includes our parents, seniors, and teachers.
The second lesson is: Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. This means there are many who extend their hand claiming to rescue us from trouble, only to plunge us into even greater danger. This group includes those so-called wise people around us who say, “What’s the point of taking the BCS exam? Do something else instead.” Or they say, “You won’t be able to pass BCS.” I believe, if you cannot help a person to do something, you have no right to demoralize him/her saying that he/she cannot do it.
I believe the third lesson is the most important one. It is this: When you are in the shit, always keep your mouth shut!! This means that when you are in trouble, always keep your mouth closed. Success talks the loudest. Success can buy silence. Your success can silence everyone. So throw challenges at yourself, not at others.
You might want to read some of my Facebook notes about career.
The notes are:
For BCS Preliminary Examination: The Story of Touching Dreams. Tomorrow’s Arguments, Logic, and Tales
For BCS Written Examination: Welcome, O Dream
For BCS Viva Examination: In the Waiting Room of the Dream House
For BCS + IBA Admission Examination:
OTHERS THINK, THEREFORE I AM
Finally, there was the question-and-answer session.
Thought: Five hundred eighty
……………………………………………………
7 July 2014
The audio clip of the things I said at the career chat at Dhaka University on the 5th; received courtesy of younger brother Sabbir. Listening to my own voice, I noticed two things.
One. I cannot speak with properly refined pronunciation. My pronunciation is marred by regional flaws.
Two. You’ll have some difficulty if you want to listen clearly. You don’t need to strain your ears for this bit of difficulty. Sometimes the microphone and lips work like the same poles of a magnet.
There was no arrangement for any award for speaking (though the teachers did garland us farewell—oops, I mean welcome us), I have no sorrow about this at all. Rather, I’m extremely happy that they didn’t give us a public buffet-style beating!!
8 July 2014
My next chat will be on the 12th at the central auditorium of Shahjalal University of Science and Technology. The chat will be open to students from all educational institutions in Sylhet. Thanks to Sharif for taking the initiative to organize this chat. I’ve decided that in the chat I will speak about both BCS examination and IBA admission examination.
I’m inviting all friends to the chat.
8 July 2014
When someone copy-pastes another person’s writing on their wall without courtesy mention, sharing it as if they wrote it themselves, and when others praise them in the comments and they like those comments and even thank them—at such moments, it seems they’ve assumed everyone else has become such fools that people think they’ve somehow suddenly learned to write well through some miraculous divine magic. You’re impotent, fine; you’re getting paternal joy by loving someone else’s child, that’s quite good; but does that mean you’ll also claim credit for the conception, boss? An impotent man describing the pleasures of intercourse! What a height of hypocrisy! While the cries of harem women of an impotent Mughal emperor pain us greatly, even more disgust and contempt arise for that perverted emperor. Does being impotent mean one must lose all sense of honor? When someone flirts with another’s wife, it drives the husband as mad as when someone copy-pastes another’s writing without courtesy. What someone wrote in 6 minutes, you probably couldn’t write even with 6 months of practice, and yet you copy-paste it in just 6 seconds and pass it off as your own! You’ve said goodbye to both talent and shame, boss? Are you laughing? Go ahead, keep laughing. You haven’t written a single line in your life; if you could write, you’d understand how infuriating it is when someone shamelessly steals your writing. Writing is very difficult, boss; very. When someone steals a child born through unbearable labor pains, try to understand a mother’s state of mind!
9 July 2014
Yes, Brazil truly deserved this five (or even more). The bastards came to play the World Cup with this defense! Totally foul!!
9 July 2014
It seems like Hitler is back!!
Germany turn the field into a
Concentration Camp!! They’re playing not with the football but with the
Brazilian amateurs!!
9 July 2014
Cool Guys, Cool!! Let’s look into
the sexy side of the coin!! We still have a hope for a Brazil-Argentina match!!
9 July 2014
Bra slips!! You see, it still
entertains, anyway!! Such a cool team, huh?
9 July 2014
The story of the ‘I will play’ attitude. The story of not giving up. The best attitude I learned in my life. Hats off, Sachin!! When I took the BCS written exam, I kept this story in mind.
December 1989, Sialkot, Pakistan. It
was fourth test match between India and Pakistan. And it happens to be fourth
test of Sachin Tendulkar’s career.
Making debut at Sixteen, Sachin was
seen as a precocious talent. However, several young stars had sparkled briefly
in India’s cricketing sky and almost suddenly faded away as fast as they
appeared.
The series was tied 0-0 after three tests. Despite conceding lead of 65 runs in first innings, Pakistan hit back through blistering spells from Wasim Akram and Waqar Younis reducing India to 38 for 4 wickets. Experienced pros like Shrikanth, Manjrekar, Shastri and Azharuddin were back to pavilion. In walked Sachin, to join Sidhu.
Waqar bowled a nasty bouncer that went smack on Sachin’s nose. The poor sixteen year old was badly hit and his nose was bleeding so profusely that everyone watching the match started feeling bad about this brutality.
As Indian team physiotherapist rushed to offer first-aid and Pakistan gathered to check out the bloody sight, where Sachin was shaken and was still bleeding. As the physio tried to stop the bleeding Sidhu suggested Sachin that he should retire hurt and come out later. That would give him some time to get his nose fixed. Even physio suggested him to get back to pavilion.
‘Main Khelega’ said Sachin, I will play!
A star was born. Those two words verbalized the fierce determination of a young man who was not going to quit.
Sachin could have gone into the relative comfort of the dressing room but he didn’t. The heat was on, India was in trouble. The pace attack had its tail up, the blood was staining his gloves, his shirt, his face, his spirit. But the kid would have none of it, Main Khelega, that’s it.
Sachin went on to score 57 runs and shared in a match-saving 101 run partnership with Sidhu. With two words- main khelega- talent transformed into genius in Sialkot.
It’s always like that, what separates champions from mere mortals is not just talent, its attitude. Its mental strength, its willingness to fight when chips are down, its Main Khelega spirit. The spirit which keeps team’s need ahead of one’s own interest.
There are many times in our lives when the pressure mounts and we feel like throwing in the towel and calling it quits. That is just the time when we need to raise our hands and be counted. Time to say Main khelega…
Some years down, long after the little master blaster has retired, when we tell our grandchildren about the batting legend, we should remember to tell them and teach them, those two magical words that defined the spirit of the champion and which translates talent into performance.
Time to say, Main Khelega…
…………..Almost similar
determination was shown by Kapil Dev. Gavaskar was captain and India needed
some 50 odd runs to win the match in the last 4th innings of test match. Top
order batting had collapsed…… and it was probably 7 down or so. Kapil’s
turn came and he was having high viral temperature lying in bed. So Gavaskar
asked the next player to go for batting……… but suddenly Kapil appeared
from nowhere and ran to the batting crease……… Gavaskar kept
shouting,”O o o Kapil…come back…come back. But Kapil didn’t look back
and started his hurricane shots……. to achieve the target unbeaten in style.
That was the arrival of a revolution
in Indian cricket. The maestro who brought the first world cup to India in
1983…… defeating mighty West Indies who had never lost till then in the
world cup…… and were considered invincible.
That also started changing the
cricket format…….. transforming from test match to one-day………
1983onwards.
……….. Great to hear that!!
Thanks a lot for sharing!!! Legends are born, not made!!!
Reflection: Five Hundred Eighty-One
……………………………………………………
10July 2014
I’m heading to Sylhet on the Upobon (Dis)graceful Chair; Rimel bhai is with me. (I said I’d come by train instead of the Bolda bus. No ghost would make a person commit such folly. Clearly, a female ghost—a petrni, for sure—has possessed me!)
This Saturday, I’ll be at a career chat from 10:45 AM at the central auditorium of Shahjalal University of Science and Technology in Sylhet. During the session, I’ll discuss the detailed strategies for BCS exam preparation and IBA admission test preparation. Other topics will also be covered. This motivational career seminar is open to everyone. I invite all my friends to attend. Joining me will be Rimel bhai from the 28th BCS Administration, and Abhijit, who secured first place in the 33rd BCS Administration. The event link is available in my cover photo.
I’ll be staying at the university guest house. I’m free all day tomorrow. Tea with Sylhet friends could happen tomorrow. Friends, come over to the SUST campus. We’ll meet, we’ll talk.
10July 2014
……. now on a journey through —
the soul of night, the soft melody of instrumentals, rhythmic kissing of
wheels, the scent of breeze, the sweet sleep of Nature, the sound of silence,
the joy of being close to madness, the essence of the world I create all
around…. And, I slowly go insane. Life’s good!
Hello Sylhet!
12July 2014
A drizzle slides down the moon’s face. The kind of rain that doesn’t really drench you, and yet precisely because it doesn’t drench you, it sends shivers through body and soul—our rain today is like that; with songs in our conversations, conversations in our songs. Their songs, our shouts. After midnight’s gentle silence, our acoustic gathering works its guitar magic. Having thrown everything into delicious chaos, I plan to sleep through tomorrow’s career seminar at the end of tonight’s sleepless vigil—that’s the plan for now.
Life is too good to sleep right now!
16July 2014
16July 2014
No one invited me, seventeen fasts have passed…
Finally today Meghna Aunty made iftar and fed me. Aunty’s cooking is marvelous anyway; on top of that, today’s extraordinary haleem and custard were so good that just to eat them, one could beg Aunty for iftar every day during Ramadan. After eating the custard, Tarik bhai couldn’t help but say, “This isn’t dessert, this is Mozart!”
Aunty, I won’t thank you, because I’m certain if I thank you, you’ll add another 10 kilos to my weight. And I can never say ‘no’ when someone invites me. My belly and my age both increase without notice! Mosharraf Uncle is still much smarter than his children even at this age! As always, I’m enchanted by Uncle and Aunty’s hospitality! Uncle said he reads my writing regularly, and he expressed his appreciation so beautifully that even this humble me felt inspired to write more. Once again I realized that to praise others requires a big heart, so one must first become big oneself. Mashroof, if you could get even a fragment of Uncle and Aunty’s qualities! Unlike parents, unlike son! You bastard, it’s only because of you that people still curse Darwin. Evolution only fails in your case! What a chimpanzee!! Become a proper human! Today I met many damn cool young people. Masfi, they hang out with a wise fool like you!! How is that possible??
By the way, Mohona, how do you take such terrible photos? Could you teach me a bit, please?……. I want to take them too.
(Kidding aside, friend, please tag the guys for me. I’m a master at forgetting names! I’ve already digested many names along with the iftar.)
24July 2014
Height of stupidity: Adding your boss to your friendlist.
•Height of helplessness: Not being able to remove them.
25July 2014
28 July 2014
Among the 3394 books in my personal library, this is the oldest. The book is 91 years old. The book’s title is Old Testament Studies, author William R Newell, published 1923. (I stole it from the Bharatseva Ashram library in my adolescence.)