Thought: Five Hundred Sixty-Eight
……………………………………………………
30 December 2013
I love you exactly as much as I love melancholy. Therefore, this love is pure, without alloy.
31 December 2013
Damn it!!! I forget everything, nothing stays in my mind. Not even how to love. When someone loves me, I must love them back—I forget this too. Every time I think, later I’ll make time to love properly, I’ll love abundantly when I have plenty of time. Then I forget. Even when I have time I don’t love, even when I make time I don’t love. It’s not that I deliberately refuse to love or withhold it out of some calculation. The problem is, I forget to love. I forget, meaning it never occurs to me that I need to show that I love. What a wretched problem!! Love too must be demonstrated! Why shouldn’t it be?
6 January 2014
Often, our inability to stoop to the level of petty people forces us to pay a steep price, at least temporarily.
7 January 2014
Allegiance that cannot provide security is not allegiance—it’s foolishness. I don’t want to be immortal, I want to stay alive.
8 January 2014
Judging someone’s acceptability by their religion and judging someone’s appearance by their national ID photo are the same kind of stupidity. Because in both cases, the individual has no control over the matter. No one can claim favor or be subjected to discrimination for achievements or failures that are not their own.
Not only Hindus…. STOP VIOLENCE
AGAINST ALL THE RACES! NOW!!!
8 January 2014
Excessively careerist women may accomplish many things, but they don’t make happy households. Though they may give much to country and nation, they give the family nothing but empty promises. First-class, second-class types have such airs! Low on intelligence, even lower on sense of humor. And their parents’ noses are even higher in the air!! I want a bride with poor academic results from a good institution.
9 January 2014
Office bosses come in two types.
One: Those whose presence enables us to work properly.
Two: Those despite whose presence we manage to work properly.
10January 2014
Happiness is……
When Papa wears the white-gray shawl I bought him and Mama wears the black-orange shawl, and they go out strolling together—watching them and smiling softly to myself. How romantic! Even now!!
Oh my! Winter is so very wonderful!!
10January 2014
…….. Writers are like prostitutes in certain ways. When they make people feel good, everyone says thanks; otherwise they get cursed. Everyone just uses their voices to speak their own thoughts, but no one cares about the writers’ hearts.
……… Where is the wealthy one who can buy my dreams?
/ Who will match colors to my watercolor painting,
where is such a painter? Jatileswar Mukherjee’s song. The song sounds best in Radha Bandyopadhyay’s voice. Magnificent!!
11 January 2014
Happiness is…….walking by the seaside, eating hot spicy fried crab. Cool sweet breeze,
with a friend’s voice singing Jagjit Singh. Ah!
Ah!!
17 January 2014
Seventy-five percent of all lipstick produced in the world goes into men’s stomachs!
Just heard this from someone in conversation…….
Feeling mischievous mischievous
18 January 2014
Most annoying people in the world don’t know they’re annoying. Until you tell them to their face, they can’t understand that you’re getting irritated. The problem is, you can’t say it that bluntly either. The bigger problem is, if you don’t say it that bluntly, they don’t understand at all. Holy cow! What can you do!
The irritation just keeps growing. One more thing. Everyone isn’t annoying to everyone.
“Strange! What’s there to be annoyed about here?” You can’t always think like that though. There has to be a reason not to be annoyed. If there’s no reason, you have to create one when necessary. Most irritations are therefore relative. However, I’ve seen some people who can give the finger to all rules of relativity when it comes to being annoying. “I don’t have time” — this statement can also mean, I don’t have time for you. Knowing how to buy time with good behavior or clever tactics is a great big art.
19 January 2014
In a marriage, there is no ‘better match’, there is no ‘worse match’, there is only ‘match’. We make it better or worse. No couple is perfect, until and unless it’s made so. Here ‘perfect’ is something left we are agreed to live with after compromising things. Marriages are made in Heaven; families are made here.
O God!
Could there be another little life?
I had lived,
thinking I would live a little differently. Alas!
I am living,
thinking I will live a little differently.
People suggest, don’t expect,
expectation kills, still expecting, we’ll listen.
Sometimes even lack of understanding
matters little, often misunderstanding matters much.
19 January 2014
Men……. Sen-afflicted.
Suchitra Sen. Aparna Sen. Raima Sen.
Women……. Thakur-afflicted.
Rabindranath Thakur.
(Couldn’t give more. There aren’t many Rabis around.)
Men worship beauty, women worship virtue.
21 January 2014
There’s a hassle to doing good deeds too. You keep helping someone, keep doing them favors; suddenly, for some reason, you can’t do it once or twice, and they become angry and resentful. Yet nothing happens to the one who never came to anyone’s aid. Being helped is not a right. Ingratitude is a mental illness.
22 January 2014
Freedom is not mine in divorce, I shall taste freedom’s sweetness within the bonds of marriage. ~ Annadashankar Roy in his autobiography
Fifth in the ICS on his first attempt. Only three were selected. He took the exam again. The next time, he came first.
(He wrote that he had taken the ICS specifically to come first. Whether he would have written such a thing had he not been able to come first—one can only wonder.)
First class first in honors too. Same in IA. In the above lines, which playfully rearrange Rabindranath’s words, he had shared his thoughts about marriage before getting married. Happily, the phrase “happily married” didn’t remain merely an oxymoron in his life. He called marrying Leela Roy, an American non-Bengali woman, one of his two greatest achievements in life. For various reasons… I’m reading his autobiography. I’m enjoying it. Let’s see, once I finish reading it, if laziness doesn’t strike, I’ll write a short review.
24 January 2014
Is anyone around the lighthouse area this evening?
If so, I cordially invite you to buy me a cup of coffee. Along with some chat. Come, I won’t object to drinking coffee at all. Promise!!
Thought: Five hundred sixty-nine
……………………………………………………
25 January 2014
The behavior of certain individuals is so arrogant, so utterly arrogant, that I become confused—does the person shape the position, or does the position shape the person? A small person, even when they become a big person (someone in a high position), cannot shed their pettiness.
26 January 2014
When a woman remains more faithful to love than to her lover, one must certainly assume that this is not her first love.
30 January 2014
Today two people’s paths have diverged
The princess I see in dreams remains
This is only a day for songs
If this path never ends
This honeyed night
On the banks of this very Yamuna
This night is yours and mine
In this beautiful golden evening
Who are you that calls to me
What rainbow is there in my song
Sleep, sleep, moon
I know not when it will end
You who are mine
You might as well stay close
The nest is small, no harm
When I saw Suchitra in my later years, I understood
why mother used to play these songs to father when I was little. (When I came near, the songs would change and turn into humming. Hehe…)
So many songs like these feel very close to my heart. Whose mother’s favorite songs don’t feel like their own!
The quality father used to speak of about mother (and still does):
A woman of character, yet romantic. (I wonder,
isn’t Suchitra like that too?
Then could it be that…….
)
Spent the entire weekend evening on YouTube with Suchitra. Happiness is…….. when Suchitra’s magical eyes play on Roma’s lips.
When Suchitra was Roma,
or had just become Suchitra, her pronunciation carried a slightly typical accent of East Bengal. Sukumar Dasgupta, the director of her first released film Saat Number Koyedi, told the great actress to read Sharatchandra to improve herself. The play Bindur Chhele. Why did I mention this? Those of us who think we’ll correct many of our flaws are not wrong at all. For those who have faith in Suchitra Sen’s perfection, let’s shake off our anger at our own imperfections this time.
5 February 2014
What happens if you eat the prasad from Saraswati Puja offerings with dried fish curry?!
Mother just creates unnecessary trouble. But God is so good;
I never have any trouble with God,
God never has any trouble with me either. We’re on such good terms!!
………feeling doesn’t understand, mother doesn’t understand…….. doesn’t understand, mother doesn’t understand.
6 February 2014
In the household, no one could understand him—I think there’s no one more unfortunate than that. ~ Ashapurna Devi,
‘Subarnalata’
9 February 2014
Announcement! Announcement!!
Today, in the dim twilight moments before this grey evening, at the Batigar bookstore in Chittagong, a foreign coffee celebration has been arranged through the financial generosity of Brother Rimel. He has informed this humble one that even if his bank balance suffers a slight reduction due to your gracious presence, he shall consider himself most fortunate.
(Dear Brother Rimel,
had you forgiven me by your own virtue, the flexible skin on this poor younger brother’s back would have remained safe. Hehe……..)
11 February 2014
There are two contradictory feelings in the human heart: when someone falls into misfortune, everyone shows them sympathy. But if they can somehow overcome that misfortune, then we feel a kind of disappointment again. Perhaps it’s putting it too strongly,
but we almost want to push them back into that misfortune and watch. Thus, unbeknownst to us, a kind of hostility develops in our minds toward them, even if indirectly.
Do you remember Kurosawa’s Rashomon? The author of this film’s story became one of Japan’s greatest writers by crafting nothing but short stories and novellas. Interestingly, while Kurosawa borrowed the film’s title from his story ‘Rashomon,’ the main plot came from ‘In a Grove.’ In almost all his stories, we glimpse a shadow of melancholy. Suffering from mental exhaustion, the writer took his own life at thirty-five. Those who have seen Rashomon know something of the author’s thought patterns. The very words I began this piece with can be found in his story ‘The Nose.’ Both Rashomon and The Nose were written when the author was merely twenty-four. He was Akutagawa Ryūnosuke. After reading his story ‘The Nose,’ Japan’s literary emperor of the time, Natsume Sōseki, wrote an enthusiastic letter of praise to the young writer. His stories are written with a masterful fusion of ancient Japanese and Chinese literature with modern European literature. I’m reading his collected stories in Shekhar Maitreya’s translation. I watch in wonder as that distant spring water flows so gracefully through the author’s incomparable writing style to touch the reader’s heart and mind.
12 February 2014
What did I just witness? The umpire looks just like my beloved! Got the biggest decision completely wrong!
13 February 2014
Whether anyone gives you flowers or not
Today is spring
Ten years ago, my friend Zunaeed once wrote and sent me this on the first of Falgun:
In the spring breeze……..
I love! Say it with passion.
Everything is here, yet………
Why do I feel so alone!
My friend is no longer alone. With him is his fairy-like, adorable daughter. I pray that when she grows up, she’ll be even more enchanting than Humayun Ahmed’s heroines.
Friend, I’m telling the truth—when Falgun comes, I remember you.
Two days ago, Hillol-da wrote:
Those who have no one have Facebook.
Those who only have Facebook truly have no one.
I wish Zuckerberg a happy spring. May the words “It’s free” on Facebook never change. May those whose days aren’t yet consumed by Facebook remain well without paying a penny. Since this morning, Ravi Babu has been playing in my head… “Let those who are happy remain happy…”
May no couple in the world ever break apart.
May the flower business flourish. May the tissue business decline.
May beautiful word-processions move from Facebook status updates into real life.
………. Why? Don’t enchanting women become BCS cadres? Can’t you be enchanting if you want to be a good person?
Though it’s true that 99% of women who take the BCS exam are beautiful. The remaining 1% become BCS cadres.
………. Yes, brother, you’re absolutely right. I was thinking, whom should I request: “Girl, would you kindly divorce your boyfriend for me?”
14 February 2014
At the Vivekananda Education and Culture Council picnic. From Mirsarai Mahamaya Eco Park on the way to Ramgarh. Destination: Vivekananda Orphanage. Destitute hill children live there. At the orphanage on Valentine’s Day. A side effect of Vivekananda. Good, is it good or not?
Shubhro Deb is playing in the car. This heart of mine is not made of stone…… Before this played….. For some reason couldn’t turn him off…. I’m truly charmed by the driver’s sense of humor!
16February 2014
feeling what nonsense!!
17February 2014
The kids are heating up Facebook with their pointless chatter. Totally absurd!!
Birth, death, marriage,
Bangladesh’s victory
—- these four are in God’s hands!!
Thought: Five hundred seventy
……………………………………………………
20February 2014
Anyone around the Prothoma-Batighore area in Jamalkhana after this evening?
25February 2014
Ekushey shopping. Third round. Some from the book fair, some from the book market (I mean, bookstores)
Nav-Nita
Arun Mitra’s Translation Collection
The Unknown Uttam
Dream Stories of the Successful
Seventy-One and My Father
Now and Then Manik Ratan
Proshanto Don
(Two of the four volumes have been published)
Stories About Another Storyteller’s Stories
Three Pennies Worth of Moonlight
The Virus of Faith
Baudelaire, O Baudelaire
The Concept of Mind
In History’s Theater
The Painful Pace of Opal (Bibhutibhushan’s wife’s memoir of Bibhutibhushan)
Shahaduz Zaman’s collection of stories, non-stories,
and un-stories
Marjimahal (2 volumes)
In Search of the Key
Losing Myself to Find Myself (2
volumes)
Words of Stars on Stars’ Faces
On Life’s Sandy Shore
In Search of Character
A Hospital, An Anthropologist, Several Broken Bones
José María Merino’s 151 Micro-stories
Tanuja Barua’s
The Young Woman Lost in Water and Moonlight
Ustad Allauddin Khan’s
My Story
Leonardo da Vinci
A Small Person’s Childhood
Nivedita-Memories
Shaheen Akhtar’s The Peacock Throne
The Rose of the Kalashnikov
Life Revisited
Some Childhoods
My Life Story (by Nagendranath Basu)
Letters from Seventy-One
Onu Tareq, Ahmad Mostofa Kamal, Murtala Ramat, Tanbira Hossain, Chorom Udash and some others aren’t in Chittagong. Despite telling Lighthouse’s Dipankar-da and Prothoma’s Raju-da hundreds of thousands of times, I couldn’t even bring you all to the planchette. Just because we live in Chittagong, don’t we have the right to go bankrupt? If you’d even glanced at Hillol-da’s face, you could have at least arranged to send one copy. We would have made do with a photocopied or pirated edition. I leave this question to your conscience… (By “leave,” I mean I’m going to the Dhaka Book Fair on the 28th. Don’t get too excited—I’m not going to buy your books, I’m going for work; maybe I’ll buy your books by chance. You people don’t care about Chittagong residents. You’re all so mean!! May you all catch cold right away. Amen.)
Friends, if any of you have books coming out at this year’s book fair, please let me know. I want to buy them.
•Avijit Roy’s The Virus of Faith. Brother, I forgot to tag you.
Hillol Dutta, anyone can also arrange to bring Chorom Udash’s book to Lighthouse. If I can be of any use, I’m always ready to help. Please, writers on my friends list, do let me know.
I’ll buy some more books by Shahabuddin Nagari sir from Dhaka. I’ve only bought In Hemingway’s Country so far.
Oh yes, I bought Letters to Camellia. Those who haven’t bought it, go ahead and buy it.
27 February 2014
In the city of diminishing income and lifespan. In Dhaka.
Books are my wife. If I don’t spend on my wife, should I spend on you instead?
28 February 2014
I’ll be at the Bangla Academy book fair from noon today. Are any of you friends going to be around that area? It would be nice to meet. Yesterday evening too I met many people, most of them harmless cadre-types without weapons, claws, or teeth. I come to the fair every time; it seemed like this year’s sales are higher than other years… We had good conversations, a few people gave me books (I’ll acknowledge what books I took and received later); I didn’t return empty-handed either—I gave heartfelt blessings full of mind, soul, and heart. Finding a well-off and kind-hearted father-in-law and finding a well-off and kind-hearted friend—both are matters of fortune!… I understood that no one goes bankrupt by giving and receiving books.
1 March 2014
Man, who runs after career like Hell, is often found to reach there. It’s really difficult to live with people having a ‘Career First’ attitude. Someone once asked me, ‘Gentleman, you’re a smart guy. Now, what’s your life plan for the next 10 years?’ I answered, ‘Dada, I’ve not planned what I’m going to do in the next 10 minutes ever in my life. Yet I’ve no regrets.’ He didn’t like my answer. He was highly careerist and very serious about life. To me, a good career offers you 3 things:
~Solvency
~Time to spend your earning in your own way
~Social recognition
Better to live a short life without
regrets than to live a long one with sighs. Yes, you can be a part of the
popular rat-race. Run run and run only to stop peacefully. The problem is, even
if you win a rat-race, you still remain a rat. Fact is, your career offers much
to others comparing to you and your family. Most people say goodbye to the hell
they’re living in early before they dream to say hello to the heaven, they’re
dreaming to live in. I really don’t want to build a castle where I myself can’t
live.
1 March 2014
Two days ago, in a moment of indignation, I wrote:
Birth, death, marriage, and Bangladesh’s victory—these four matters rest in God’s hands.
Lately, I don’t even feel like being angry with my favorite team anymore. When you can only feel indignation toward someone you care about, and then even the desire to feel that indignation dies away—that’s when you truly feel helpless.
Mother, sometimes at least let me hold onto my grievances.
2 March 2014
Boys, while acting at love, don’t even know when they truly fall in love for real. Girls, while truly loving, don’t even know when they begin to act.
~Samaresh Majumdar
Master, hats off!
How did you come to know this, boss!
How did the outsider learn the secrets of home? Good lord!
Writers know everything!
Reading this feels like seeing myself naked in a mirror! What discomfort it brings to see oneself naked before oneself!
Master is coming to Batighara today at 6 PM. I’ll go listen from afar to the creator of Uttaradhikar-Kalbela-Kalpurush. Those who excel at anything always seem like gods to me. I hold them in profound reverence, even from a distance. Bow my head beneath the dust of your feet… Are any of you friends coming this evening?
3 March 2014
He is not so beautiful that one would stare at him in wonder,
yet everyone gazes with a kind of enchantment in their eyes! He said
he used to envy Sunil, because beautiful women would flock to Sunil after reading his poetry
(Of course they would!
Even we who cannot write a single decent line show such audacity…);
yet yesterday I saw, in this prose writer’s words, the intoxicating spell cast upon the dazzling beauties within the lighthouse;
the longing I witnessed in everyone to get his autograph or take a photograph with him—if one could become so close to such a person, living itself would become an extra blessing. One cannot get too close to great people for two reasons. Because of the crowds. Because of the diffidence born of one’s own smallness. The love that great writers receive from women
never allows any man to become his beloved’s ‘first lover.’ This alone is reason enough to write, though only a handful of writers are fortunate enough to find such a lover whom they do not marry;
the rest are writers whose wives
are their only lovers. No man receives all of his beloved;
and if by good fortune the beloved reads a few books, then the poor lover becomes merely the shadow-body of the beloved’s favorite writer or some character from his works. In crowds, every beautiful woman I see somehow feels familiar. Yesterday evening too it felt that way, until Samaresh arrived;
I simply have no desire to recognize other men’s beauties. After much waiting he came,
pushing aside the India-Pakistan match, the entire lighthouse drowned in Samaresh. Every woman attracted to another man appears beautiful,
all the regret of not being able to be beautiful accumulates unknowingly within,
and at some point I confess to myself,
I am not insignificant, but that other man’s extraordinariness is not within me. When Samaresh said
Manik-Bibhuti-Tarashankar were writers, and he was merely successfully performing the role of a writer,
my head bowed in reverence, like the mouse in the Ratatouille animation I felt like saying again,
Anyone can cook, that doesn’t mean anyone should. I have never been able to take anything by pushing and shoving in life,
not yesterday either. I got an autograph only because someone else kindly got it for me. My photograph with the writer could not travel from the lens of imagination’s eye to the camera’s lens. Though he was as physically distant yesterday as many people standing far away, Hillol-da and I, standing closest to him yet equally hidden due to the photographers’ misfortune, found comfort in the blissful illusion that our beloved writer was speaking to me alone or speaking only for me—and spent an evening of wonderful contentment. Many people asked Samaresh many questions, yet through the crowd of answers I possessed, no inquiry could emerge. Thanks to Dipankar-da of the lighthouse for creating the opportunity to be in the presence of such beauty.
Thought: Five hundred seventy-one
……………………………………………………
4 March 2014
I like them,
I respect them,
when something of theirs pleases me I say it’s good, when something displeases me I say nothing lest their feelings be hurt—
why do even such people make my heart heavy? What joy is there in that!
4 March 2014
More joy than that in thrashing the Pakistanis! Yes,
this is the Bangladesh we wanted.
4 March 2014
I know, only our results are rewarded, not our efforts.
Yes, we lost. Yet we conquered poor performance, mental lethargy. Isn’t that something?
They played exceptionally well. There was not the slightest flaw in effort. Bangladesh’s age-old stereotypical image has completely transformed. I am happy,
very happy. My mother’s face may not be that beautiful to look at. Does that mean I can
call some other smart woman ‘mother’?
Never!
Dear Bangladesh,
move forward. We were beside you, we are,
we shall be. Always.
What can I do! I love you so!!
5 March 2014
I learn something from every match. Perhaps I will never even meet Tendulkar. Yet his influence on my life is boundless. There are many others like this in various fields who are my idols, like gods to me. I know how truly difficult it is to perform. Many are expressing disappointment about Bangladesh’s match yesterday. Playing on the field and playing in front of a TV screen are not the same thing. Anyway, let me share some personal observations about yesterday’s game…….
~ Never take anything for granted,
even your failure.
~ Never call it a day until &
unless the day ends.
~ Only your results are rewarded,
not your efforts.
~ Really perform when you’re
performing.
~ Only your performance performs,
not my prayers or curses.
~ Sometimes your luck matters much
more than your performance.
~ Excuses are of no use. If you win,
you need not show them. If you lose, you should not show them.
~ The game is always ON. So…….
JUST PLAY!
~ In life,
cricket and politics, there’s no such thing as ‘the end’. The result comes after the game is over.
~ Last,
but not the least…….
an old realization of mine…….
Birth, death, marriage and Bangladesh’s victory—these four are in God’s hands.
Friends, what are your observations?
6 March 2014
In Dhaka……. life
gets spent in work,
traffic jams and sleep……. If I could listen to a girl’s chatter with half the patience I have while stuck in traffic,
I could have managed at least a dozen love affairs by now.
10March 2014
Advantage of not being in love:
You can fall asleep quickly.
Disadvantage of not being in love:
You don’t want to fall asleep quickly.
11March 2014
Those who keep calling persistently when you don’t pick up the first time or cut the call, unless it’s an absolute emergency, are utterly senseless. “Brother, my leg’s broken and I’m holding it in my hand. What am I supposed to do with this broken leg?” Or,
“Boss, I’m eloping with your wife. Hehe…….”
For urgent matters like these, fair enough. But when I see, “What should I do to rank first in the BCS exam?” (Such people ask these questions when even if their entire family took the BCS exam together, it probably wouldn’t amount to anything. Annadashonkor Roy had taken the civil service exam precisely to come first. He mentioned this in his autobiography after ranking first in the ICS exam. Whether he would have said such a thing had he not come first,
I’m rather doubtful about that.)
Or, “Dear brother, my heart’s precious little puppy hasn’t had a bowel movement for two days. What should I do?”
When they disturb you during work hours with such foolish questions,
one no longer feels like being a gentleman. A decent person faces so many, many problems.
During night coach journeys from Dhaka to Chittagong, some people talk so loudly with such obvious pleasure,
it makes one want to grab and throttle them. Last Saturday I got so annoyed I said,
Brother, if you’d just speak a little louder, you wouldn’t need a mobile phone at all. Another category of fools has ringtones of ghosts shrieking terrifyingly. During peaceful sleep at night,
at such moments the ghost screams, shaking one’s soul. You can imagine the situation……….
12March 2014
Happiness is: suddenly finding a book you’ve been searching for ages and ages. I pounced on them—Italo Calvino’s
Invisible Cities and Viktor E. Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. Maybe you have wealth vast like an ocean. Could you ever buy anything that made you feel like a happy king?…….. Feeling awfully rich!!
Thanks to Hasan Shibly bhai for pointing me toward Italo Calvino’s Invisible Cities.
Thanks to Dipankar da from Batigrho for bringing me both books at my request.
13March 2014
Have you noticed something interesting?
In arranged marriages, the proposals that usually come—none of them are your Facebook friends.
14March 2014
Embarrassment is:
Going to a restaurant to meet a potential bride or groom and discovering at the next table someone you refused a few days ago or who refused you a few days ago, and pretending as if you haven’t noticed each other and aren’t noticing each other.
Reflection: Five hundred seventy-two
……………………………………………………
16March 2014
In every office, there exists a class of people engaged in professional adultery. No matter how they go about their own work, their focus remains on needlessly fretting over others’ tasks, cleverly making mountains out of molehills from others’ minor mistakes (even when they themselves commit far graver errors), spreading these around, and causing harm at any cost. Working alongside such people is truly difficult, because not everyone can grow big by making others small, or perhaps they simply don’t have the time to stoop so low, or they genuinely want to become great by becoming truly great. So, mind your own household, live happily with your own wife. If you have idle time, enjoy crispy puffed rice mixed with mustard oil, seasoned with snacks, onions, and chilies, while watching old Bengali films with your wife—don’t indulge in shenanigans with other people’s wives (don’t you have a wife at home yourself?). Who is impotent and who is virile—who are you to determine this? You yourself are that impotent Mughal emperor whose harem women’s suppressed lamentations constantly weigh down the air. Haven’t you ever noticed this, boss? To cure your own inadequacy, take dream-obtained medicine if necessary—but what’s the point of sighing into others’ dreams? Does one night’s nightmare destroy all the remaining days’ sweet dreams? Every dog has his day. Are you his line manager or something? Without any reason, people of the maid and gatekeeper class engage in gossip. They chew betel and spit at others’ backs. Aren’t you an officer? Therefore, say ‘no’ to professional adultery, cultivate professionalism, enjoy your own domestic happiness, and let others enjoy theirs too. Say ‘no’ to both envy of others’ prosperity and lust for others’ wives. Here’s an interesting fact: there’s no English equivalent for ‘parashrikatarata’ (envy of others’ prosperity). Can you tell me why?
16March 2014
How do you understand the atmosphere of Bangladesh’s game?
By listening to the background music… just played a moment ago… ‘Why don’t you understand, without you I am helpless’… Alas, sometimes even this has to be played… ‘Raise anchor, raise anchor, the time has come, has come…’
16March 2014
Success is the sweetest revenge!
Love you, Bangladesh!!
17March 2014
It’s not right to believe everything the in-laws or prospective in-laws say; not even when the wife or prospective wife offers hopeful words. If the in-laws were really that good, people wouldn’t call the wife’s brother ‘shala’ (brother-in-law, used pejoratively).
18 March 2014
Why are we letting Nepal play like this?!
Because the Nepalese beauties’ hearts will be broken?
Brothers, if our beauties shed tears for you today like they did that day, we won’t spare you. Getting extremely annoyed!
18March 2014
Sincerely, it feels awesome to admit
that your contestant played well only when done without regrets, only when you
manage to win.
Result talks louder than effort!!
Well played, Sherpas! Thumbs up for
your effort!
Better played, Tigers!! Hats off for
your result!!
19March 2014
Brother, sacrifice if you must, but please don’t tag.
People tag even their own profile pictures. Utterly pointless!
What am I supposed to do with such divine beauty?! Men put on kohl and lipstick for photos and then tag away. It drives me mad!
This kind of love between one man and another doesn’t sit well with me.
Girl’s sense of humour: When you’re
kidding with her, you must tell her you’re kidding.
22March 2014
Apparently raising chickens is much better than falling in love.
Who says such things?
Why do they say it?
From what joy do they speak? Out of exhaustion with love?
Have you ever experienced what it feels like to remain loveless?
Weary of un-love? It seems to me
that buying and eating chicken eggs is far, far better than not loving at all.
Being alone is becoming impossibly painful these days. No!
I can’t take it anymore. I too shall buy chickens. Tell me, brother, which brand (I mean, breed)
of chicken lays the most eggs?
It was in the Class Seven agriculture textbook; I’ve forgotten.
22March 2014
Genius + famous handsome boys are either the simple, innocent type, or the lady-killer type.
(Someone has threatened to murder me if I give status courtesy for this status. Come on, little one, if you have the courage, come stand before me. B-))
23March 2014
Sunlight, sliced into strips, seemed to drench this morning…………
The heart. Burns in rain, drowns in sunshine.
25March 2014
Sadness is…………not being able to write anything good about Bangladesh on Bangladesh’s match day.
26March 2014
One evening, after talking with my younger brother, I realized he was suffering from terrible despair,
on the verge of giving up everything. In such a state, a person believes he is utterly alone,
that everyone has moved far ahead of him;
even those closest to him are not his friends. He had begun to think,
how exhausting it is just to stay alive! Everyone is his enemy. No one loves him. How can someone nobody wants
continue to exist!
That very night I wrote this piece for him, posted it on his wall.
I have lived at the extreme edges of both hope and despair. I know what it feels like when there is nothing but emptiness ahead. I also know how much people live on hope alone. What a life of penance means — I didn’t need to learn that from any theosophical lecture. To those who claim they are in great suffering, that one cannot suffer more than this, I say: there was a time when even counting the hours until death seemed like a luxury to me. To count such hours, one must at least be alive; even that being alive was such a terrible luxury of pain!
I have seen that just being alive accomplishes a great deal. When someone is lost, except for the very closest people, no one is really affected. So, stay alive. Your death would cause great discomfort to some people who find solace in wishing for your death. If only for their sake…
Live!
Staying alive is the greatest revenge. So, if only for your own sake…
Live!
Live, for yourself. Live, for others.
31March 2014
I want to dedicate this century to those who love me and those who criticize me. For those who have made nasty comments about me, this is my gift to them.
Extraordinary!! Absolutely extraordinary!!
I started my day reading Pakistani opener Shehzad’s words from yesterday’s press conference in Prothom Alo. Oh my! How winning silences everyone! I think, if performing were as easy as talking nonsense, how many people would actually perform!
And let me clarify. This status is in no way pro-Pakistan. It’s only my habitual ‘selfish’ weakness for greatness.
1 April 2014
Sushanta Pal
Assistant Director
Customs Intelligence and Investigation Directorate, Dhaka. Posting changed, along with designation. I joined today. Just yesterday I was working at Chittagong Custom House. From today, here. Humbly proud to be a civil servant.
Reflection: Five hundred seventy-three
……………………………………………………
5 April 2014
When you’re annoyed with yourself for your own stupidity, you might well get angry at your girlfriend—even without any reason at all! Just pointlessly! Can’t do math? Girlfriend’s fault. Boss gives you a dressing down? Girlfriend’s fault. Lost your wallet? Girlfriend’s fault. Even in the most romantic atmosphere, when some wretched mosquito bites you in all the wrong places, girlfriend’s fault. Why aren’t there enough mosquitoes in the room to kill with the mosquito bat, why can’t I enjoy swatting mosquitoes to my heart’s content—girlfriend’s fault. The rickshaw driver misbehaves? Girlfriend’s fault. When you listen to music and want to catch that singer and beat him senseless, girlfriend’s fault. Dozing off blissfully, the bus overshoots Farmgate and reaches Uttara, you wake up and have to go back to Farmgate with all the world’s irritation—that too is girlfriend’s fault……. All these dramatics don’t accomplish anything. If you know how to sulk with style, your girlfriend will actually coax you out of your anger with affection. But then why get angry at an ex-girlfriend too, for heaven’s sake! Pure pointless, foul rage! In this cruel world, for someone who has no one to calm their anger, it’s better not to rage at all and go somewhere far away and eat puffed rice soaked in Sprite!
9 April 2014
I’m heading over to Batidhur. Are any of you friends around that area?
Batidhur is a bookstore.
Batidhur is Bangladesh’s largest bookstore. The store is much more reader-friendly compared to any other big store.
10 April 2014
Last year’s experience. After giving the 33rd BCS viva, many people would call me. Brother, they didn’t ask me anything from such and such topics. They only kept me in the board for this many minutes. Out of everything I studied for so long, they didn’t even ask 20 percent of it. And so on and so forth.
Actually, viva exams have no pattern at all. Viva marks matter, and I’ve taken this kind of viva in two places so far—IBA viva and BCS viva. I was at the IBA viva board for 18-20 minutes, and at BCS for 4-5 minutes. How long they kept you there, what they asked, what you could answer, what you couldn’t—these aren’t as crucial as people think. All’s well that ends well. It seems to me that the viva is much more subjective than objective. What does our experience tell us? With some people, you have to calculate every word before speaking. With others, you feel like slapping them twice. If you can’t, it creates a kind of discomfort. For doing well in vivas, preparedness matters more than preparation. Everyone practices, yet the century still goes to Tendulkar’s account. Whether that day is yours depends largely on your luck. There are those “I came, I saw, I conquered” types too. What impression I form about your knowledge matters far more than what you actually know. You will never get a second chance to make the first impression. Some people’s appearance and attitude make you want to ask about the length of the Padma River, while others make you want to hear stories of floating in boats on the Padma’s breast, touching moonlight, or walking hand-in-hand with a lover along Padma’s banks. Or something else entirely—things that require no knowledge to tell, yet convey everything so easily. Those who sit on viva boards are truly much more expert. They understand very well what you’re saying and what you’re hiding. A clever man knows how to cheat; an intelligent man knows how to make others let him cheat.
It’s not yet time to say anything. Please be patient until the results come out. Don’t start singing just yet, “Hello, is this 244113?” Let Bela Bose remain in nostalgia a little longer in this city of lies! (She doesn’t stay, brother, I know. Still… blessed is deceptive hope.)
On a good note, if anyone’s interested, they can read my Facebook note on viva preparation: “In the Waiting Room of the Dream House.”
Let me see if I can suggest some frequently asked viva questions for you all. If I can prepare them, I’ll post them. Both laziness and the desire to prepare are immeasurable. Let’s see.
13 April 2014
About a week ago, receiving everyone’s congratulations on one of my status updates made me quite embarrassed and ashamed, thinking that many might be assuming I got promoted. I had no promotion or demotion. Assistant Commissioner and Assistant Director in the same department carry the same dignity in rank. However, the scope and pattern of work are different. In that sense, I’m fortunate because I’ll be able to gain experience working in a different arena. It’s true that the work of customs intelligence or investigation officers is somewhat sensitive and sophisticated…
15 April 2014
When you can reach the office without any traffic jam, even Dhaka city feels like your own.
Sumanda, I’m from Chittagong. When there’s no traffic jam in the city, that city becomes my familiar Chittagong.
17April 2014
I noticed something. This happens in almost every case.
When women love men, they love both their good and bad qualities together. Here love itself is primary, the flaws secondary. When men love women, they love their good qualities. Here the good is primary, love secondary. Therefore, in women’s love, the beloved grows larger perhaps than they do in men’s love. Both forms of love can be explained through the evolutionary tradition of psychology. That story is for another day…
Statutory warning: This is no divine revelation, this is merely a personal Facebook status. A simple confession in response to Mr. Zuckerberg’s “What’s on your mind?” question.
20April 2014
If you pay attention to well-being, another wonderful thing will happen. Think about it—does the thought ever cross your mind that time is running out, nothing is getting done? It comes all the time, doesn’t it? Whenever you look at the clock, you’ll see it’s later than you thought. The problem is, as long as we keep running blindly after money and power, we won’t even notice the other aspects of life. We’ll forget to be curious. I’ve seen my mother constantly enjoying life with curious eyes, whether she was washing dishes in the kitchen or feeding seagulls by the ocean. From life’s small things to the various mysteries of this universe—everything captivated her equally. Whenever I complained about something or stayed in a bad mood, mother would repeatedly give me one piece of advice; she’d say, ‘Darling, change the channel. The remote is in your own hands. Why watch the scary movie again!’
~~ Arianna Huffington
Thought: Five hundred seventy-four
……………………………………………………
23April 2014
: Does the heart have some kind of switch that you can turn on and off to love when you want to, and not love when you don’t want to? No, right? Why not?
: If you got answers to everything, how much would you really enjoy it? No one stays happy in the land of “I-have-everything”; they don’t exist either. Go check. If you feel good loving, then love; if you don’t, then don’t. That’s it! Why do you want to control this? Think a bit and tell me, what exactly are you wanting? If you got something like that, I mean if you were to get it, perhaps that’s the first thing you’d want to lose.
23April 2014
Heart proposes, religion disposes.
21April 2014
In my case……. For a woman to be good is much more important than being beautiful.
In my own case……. For a woman to be beautiful is much more important than being ugly.
26April 2014
Today at 2 PM, a team led by the Director General, Joint Director, and Deputy Director of the Customs Intelligence and Investigation Directorate recovered 904 gold bars from the toilets of 6 Bangladesh Biman aircraft, each weighing 10 bhori, hidden away. The total weight is approximately 106 kg with an estimated value of 50 crore taka.
Among the several gold consignments seized by the Customs Intelligence and Investigation Directorate in their operations over the past few days, today’s haul is particularly noteworthy.
Smugglers propose, customs officers dispose……….. feeling excited & proud to be a part of this directorate!!
27April 2014
Today at 12:30, a team of ours led by the Director General, Joint Director, and Deputy Director of the Customs Intelligence and Investigation Directorate seized 6 crore Indian currency and massive quantities of drugs from a cargo flight arriving from Qatar. Counting is underway……. along with click! click!! feeling……. Feluda Feluda
Smugglers propose, customs officers dispose.
30April 2014
Past the expensive perfumes, liquors, cigarettes, and sunglasses, my eyes are caught by the shimmer of a smooth, delicate, pale pink sari. The enchanting play of shadow and light doesn’t merely breathe life into sculpture—sometimes it transforms the living into sculpture too. A strand of silky black hair conceals one eye of this slender figure, while the other eye, deep and dark with allure, declares that beauty’s attraction lies in concealment. One could die for these eyes alone! Those slender pink lips seem to cast some spell across her forehead, cheeks, chin, neck……..everywhere. She’s smiling, just smiling!
1 May 2014
feeling joking apart, please folks, help me out…
This post seeks advice………
This humble computer engineer (merely in terms of institutional credentials) having adhered steadfastly to the principle of “what is not absolutely essential” in matters of technological acquisitions, and having spent a long time laptop-less, finally feels the overwhelming necessity for a laptop. This renegade, particularly averse to all manner of technological excess, has come to realize that a laptop now occupies a special place in the list of “absolute necessities.”
In exchange for approximately 50 thousand domestic currency, what laptop would you advise this humble soul to purchase, such that there remains a strong possibility of treating you to at least a modest meal at the ‘Al Salam’ restaurant in Dhaka in gratitude? Awaiting your valuable counsel………………
(This humble soul, having gone astray, has rendered a special service to the motherland and nation in that no one can now point a finger and say, “Look, look! What manner of donkey does CUET produce!!”…………… Considering that the small utility of a hen’s egg is better than the vast futility of a horse’s egg—if some noble soul, showing the selfless love of the great-hearted Jalil Chacha, were to bestow a laptop upon this poor soul in the dative case, this pauper would raise no particular objection; rather, would pray that divine grace might rain down upon that magnanimous person in ever-increasing measure.)
Advice is more desired than likes.
Have to keep it short while thanking all friends. Thinking of buying this one………
HP Probook P450 G1 Core i5 4th Gen.
4200M(2.5GHz,4GB,750GB) 2GB GF 15.6 Inch Notebook.
Noman bhai,
I don’t regret much at all. Whatever I’ve received in life,
most of it has been a bonus. I wasn’t supposed to get
so much, brother.
2 May 2014
The French-Algerian writer Albert Camus, famed for
The Outsider,
The Plague,
The Fall, upon receiving the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1957, first gratefully remembered his mother,
and then expressed his thanks to his primary school teacher. Reading the letter below, one’s head bows in reverence for both the literary genius and the human being that was this great writer. I was similarly moved when I read A.P.J. Abdul Kalam’s expressions of gratitude toward his teachers. Let my head bow at the dust of your feet………….
19November 1957
Dear Monsieur Germain,
I let the commotion around me these
days subside a bit before speaking to you from the bottom of my heart. I have
just been given far too great an honour, one I neither sought nor solicited.
But when I heard the news, my first
thought, after my mother, was of you. Without you, without the affectionate
hand you extended to the small poor child that I was, without your teaching and
example, none of all this would have happened.
I don’t make too much of this sort
of honour. But at least it gives me the opportunity to tell you what you have
been and still are for me, and to assure you that your efforts, your work, and
the generous heart you put into it still live in one of your little schoolboys
who, despite the years, has never stopped being your grateful pupil. I embrace
you with all my heart.
Albert Camus
Special thanks to my friend Kamrul for sharing this letter with me.
Friends, come, let us first be humble, be grateful; then let us be successful. Tell me, which teacher contributed most to making you who you are today? Who comes to mind at this moment?
Think about it and tell me—
you’ll see, it feels good. When one of your own students takes your hand and slowly transforms from nobody to somebody,
and acknowledges it with gratitude,
doesn’t it create an impossibly wonderful feeling?
2 May 2014
Sadness is…………when going to another room
must be called ‘returning.’ Returning to Dhaka.
4 May 2014
Customs Intelligence team seized
6Swiss goldbars weighing 6 kg worth about Tk 3cr from a passenger of Malaysian
Airlines. He was in the guise of a critical patient on wheelchair. Those bars
were kept hidden around his waist……. All credit goes to our honourable DG,
JD, DD & our team.
……….just overlook if you don’t
feel comfortable to look at. I mention because I’ve something to mention……
Anyway, thank you.
7 May 2014
Alone in the crowd……
It’s raining…..
Being alone like this feels quite good…..
I’m listening to this song by Srikanto. My mind has settled into an oddly peaceful state.
There are many people around me,
people flying in flocks, laughing in rapture… yet how strange that amidst all these crowds of people I still walk alone…
If no one comes when you call, then walk alone……. Ah!
I don’t even feel like calling out.
7 May 2014
Itching to make some kind soul’s pocket money slip away!*
*Terms and conditions apply. They must have pockets in their outer garments.
10 May 2014
Marriage fever has hit Facebook!!
So-and-so is marrying such-and-such,
Such-and-such is marrying so-and-so,
The wall gets flooded with these kinds of posts. Embracing and holding each other,
sitting side by side,
gentle touches and caresses, lying sideways and on their backs,
twisting and turning, in so many different colorful poses! My body tingles and twitches!! In overwhelming joy I feel like climbing to the top of a coconut tree and dying while crying. Don’t know why, but every man’s wife-girlfriend happens to be extraordinarily beautiful. I’m genuinely envious! Grrrrrr………
A Bengali must have at least one fault. Either envy of others’ success or lust for others’ wives.
And another child-marriage party keeps posting pictures of kids in droves!!
Such cute, adorable, chubby, pudgy little kitten-like poses!!
I want to grab them and shower them with kisses and affection!!
No envy arises,
only tenderness wells up. By delaying and delaying, I’ve ruined even the opportunities for envy!! Jealousy turns to affection. What an irony!
Being unable to become enviable and being unable to feel envious—both are equally painful.
12 May 2014
Let’s escape!
When you escape, do you really escape while announcing your destination???
12 May 2014
Sir, I took the BCS viva 3-4 times and successfully failed each time. Then when I got this job, I thought, well, at least the PSC gave me something, didn’t send me away completely empty-handed.
Today at our office, during the joining ceremony of 39 Assistant Revenue Officers, when our Director General asked everyone to share their feelings, one officer said these words. This humble person is in overall charge of training the newly joined officers (official title: Course Coordinator).
His words left me feeling rather uncomfortable. Because I know very well how crucial our field-level workforce is in conducting successful anti-smuggling operations. Their impact on the nation’s economy is direct and significant. This should be a source of pride. For instance, just recently, customs intelligence conducted a nearly 5-hour operation that seized 105 kilograms of gold, adding approximately 48 crore taka to government reserves. His phrase ‘at least something’ didn’t sit well with me at all. I said,
To fail successfully is an art. Not
always luck meets you in the way you want, but it’s still luck. Sometimes,
Allah responds by not responding.
14 May 2014
Waiting for a girl is more delightful than consoling a girl who’s been kept waiting.
Feeling……. men are born
eternal waiters
17 May 2014
In your conversation, your writing, your dress, your style, your eating habits, your choice of books and movies, your likes, and even your dislikes—there’s a mark of taste. You’re such that you don’t even dislike things in a tasteless manner.
What a compliment! Just bought you an ice cream. And that unleashed such an elaborate, earth-shaking verbal flourish!!
Feeling……. greasy
19 May 2014
Two kinds of people suffer the most in this world.
One. Those who consider everyone their own and trust them.
Two. Those who expect precious things from cheap people.
20 May 2014
We can never imagine where life takes us. Life is always stranger than fiction. Most of us know our limitations. Yet, it seems to me, most of us mistake where our strengths lie. That’s why we don’t dare to ask for something great. Sometimes it happens that we’re afraid to wait for something good, yet that very good thing waits for us. This is what happens in careers.