The Plaster of Thought-Walls (Part 81)

Thought: Five Hundred Sixty-One

……………………………………………………

28 February 2013 ·

There was a time when I had no desire whatsoever to complete my honors degree. Why should I complete honors? I had no argument in favor of it before me. I remember deliberately leaving my final semester project hanging for days. My project supervisor, Saki Kausar sir, was an extremely hard-hearted, fussy man. He wouldn’t give me any attention, and I wouldn’t give him any either. As much as he would run me around, I would run him around even more. I was quite content being myself in my own way. Instead of wasting time sleeping, I would dream during my waking hours. Yes, this is how I am. Nothing to be done about it!

Where life takes us, we never really know.

……… It’s because it’s uncertain that life is worth living.

………….. Life is a joke……
We’ve only 2 choices: Get busy laughing or get busy dying.

…….. And then……
staying alive.

……… One must remain speechless before becoming eloquent. That’s the way.

…. I don’t live thinking about all this and that. Where’s the time?
Just living uses up all my time!

…… With smiling faces we shall mock our fate.

…… Que sera, sera.

……… Yes, this is how I am. Nothing to be done about it!

She should have died hereafter;

There would have been a time for
such a word.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and
tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day
to day,

To the last syllable of recorded
time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted
fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out,
brief candle!

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor
player

That struts and frets his hour upon
the stage

And then is heard no more. It is a
tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and
fury

Signifying nothing.

I understand little. I write even less. This is how I am. Nothing to be done about it!

……… Brother, without suffering, one cannot enjoy. Perhaps that’s the rule.

……. It’s because it’s unknown that we live to know it. Perhaps, even by mistake. What does it matter?

…………… As long as there’s an “after that,” there’s life. Death has no “after that.”

……. I don’t always tear things apart,
that’s not it. Rather, most of the time I tear myself apart. Yet life doesn’t come to a halt, it only pauses now and then. If I too came to a halt, that would be the end of everything!

………. Shouting takes strength. I don’t have that. A person in peril cannot rescue a nation. I am in peril. I don’t understand the way you all do,
I simply cannot understand. This is my failure,
my mute helplessness. My Facebook wall is like my poetry notebook where I write whatever I please. If this wakes someone up or puts them to sleep, that’s not my responsibility. Just as I have the complete right to be and remain ignorant,
my friends have the right not to tolerate my ignorance. When tolerance runs out, there are remedies for that too.

…….. Let me be as I am. I have arranged myself in my own way. I’m not complaining to you about staying true to yourselves.

O God!
Give my friends the ability to understand my language. Otherwise,
give me some other language.

1 March 2013

The happiness that money can buy,
that can be purchased—wrong. In the final reckoning,
it is that happiness which purchases us. The slavery of happiness is more shameful than sorrow.

11 March 2013

I believe that if you tell your boss
what you really think of him, the truth will set you free……. Do you believe
it? If you don’t, why not give it a try?

16 March 2013

….. How I disappeared,
never search for that. So many people disappear. Listen, I had dissolved like dust among people. In a fragment of a room, on streets,
sitting by the drains I had spent my life—I had seen angels in tea shops,
falling asleep again and again while washing cups and plates.

O strangers, I had loved you all.

When the wind comes to blow away the colored curtains from your doors and windows,
when dreams arise in masses from the dense, dark furniture of office rooms, as if I too was present in all of that—

colorless like a dry stillness, alone.

Bhaskar Chakrabarti,
‘The Story of Disappearing’

His writings are like weaver bird nests. Small, yet with exquisite craftsmanship.

17 March 2013

Sometimes I feel
the best way to live well is
to forget the grammar of living well and just live.

An idealist/perfectionist is always dangerous to society.

26 March 2013 ·

“Listen, dear. Communication is
a two-way street,” says the wife. “When I talk, you have to
listen.” After that, communication is over.

…… It sounds; you’ve got a
henpecked hubby….. Eh?…. God bless him.

31 March 2013 ·

Newspapers these days don’t print advertisements alongside articles anymore—they print articles alongside advertisements. In these pieces, under the skillful editorship of editors, the two models above the text turn out far more beautiful than the writing itself. This naturally leads beauty-loving conscious readers like me to dream more about the models than about the writing—this is only natural.

Thanks to Prothom Alo; the flavor of my writing hasn’t been completely altered. Special thanks to Rakib bhai.

5 April 2013

Watched ‘Nauka Dubi.’ I want a lover like Hema and a wife like Kamala.

Then make yourself a pair of wooden clogs—even if the clogs of this age don’t land on your own head, they’ll occasionally be hurled at it.

Will you dig the grave too?

I’m willing to die a hundred times for the sake of living once.

All consolation is wonderful.

8 April 2013

I haven’t understood myself yet. Who has the power to fathom this mystery?

I’m fine. The protagonist of my story is in pain.

Open your eyes. It doesn’t seem like you’ll emerge anymore.

Morning glory, beautiful tongue.

Friend, I couldn’t stay away from you much longer.

They’ve been that way since forever. What new thing could I possibly do?

She never learned to lose by winning. She sometimes won by losing. Even if she didn’t win, she never lost in this life.

10 April 2013

Is not understanding the wise thing to do? I don’t understand this either. I find it hard to understand. I find it even harder not to understand. What can one do!

We got the poet Shakti through Sunil-da’s grace. If the Coffee House table hadn’t been changed, perhaps Shakti’s track wouldn’t have changed so suddenly either.

To write, one must know, one must understand. There can be no laziness. I have everything needed for not-writing. It will take time, brother.

12 April 2013 ·

Seeing all these crushes and confessions has driven me crazy! Makes me want to study at CUET again!

If you wrote about me, I would have gifted you a yellow shirt and green pants in my joy. Along with a bright red tie. A New Year’s gift.

I want to know that too! To tell, one must know.

Brother, when we studied at CUET, CUET was a boys’ school. Later it gradually became a university. I’ve heard that silly boyish crushes are sinful.

Thought: Five hundred sixty-two

……………………………………………………

16 April 2013

Whispers of clouds, moment by moment. The gentle touch of the year’s first rain! It brushes past the eyes. The two lips seem to tremble with some deep thirst. The entire mind dissolves into the body, and the body into the mind. Everything becomes one. Mind and body. Body and mind. Ah!!

Today, watching this rain’s lament, I remembered you……

Who?

Who else?
My umbrella! I forgot and left it at home.

17 April 2013

Right behind where I’m sitting—
I mean my office room—rows upon rows of trees. Akashi, neem, korai, almonds, and some other medicinal plants whose names I don’t know. A gleaming road cuts through the middle. Beside it, the casuarina’s arrangement, the kash grass. The gentle breeze, the sweet rhythm of dancing rain, the stirring of sleeping casuarina leaves. Some children running about, shouting, jubilant. They gather leaves, dream with the leaves they’ve found, make life dance. In the shadows of newly sprouted grass, insects move along, breathing in the scent of wet earth. In the gaps between all this, the arriving sunlight is welcomed by the birds’ chirping. In this magnificent festival of rain, ugly me feels utterly out of place. Right at this moment, I feel even more helpless than the lampposts standing forlornly on the road with heavy hearts.

19 April 2013

The agreement was:
there would be no conversation.

Then why does conversation still happen?

20 April 2013

She’s a girl to begin with, and on top of that, a doctor. Surviving the emotional turmoil becomes impossible! If you marry a doctor girl, she’ll turn your life into kerosene. It’s better if doctors marry doctors.

How much truth is there in this?

…… Maybe wrong I’m as much as
right I’m.

…… There’s no story here, brother. But I want such a story to happen; then again, these rascals scare me off!

…… When I asked Sushanto, I learned that he’s giving priority to doctor brides for marriage…………
(I felt embarrassed!)

…… Please give some percentage to us poor souls too,
sister.

……. How many doctor girls have gotten married so far, let me hear……

………. Sister,
these aren’t my words!
They’re the public’s. I just copied them!

………. Shouldn’t one marry any girl at all?……. I mean… never mind….
(There’s nothing serious about it…..
)

……. I haven’t tasted it. So I don’t know whether it tastes sour or sweet or spicy…. anything at all. 😉

…… You’re quite the celibate sage, Bhandananda.

……. Not always…. Not all sweet
couples do come from Heaven, some are made on earth too.

………. You clever boy! Then why would you turn down a doctor bride’s proposal if it came,
tell me…….

……. Brother,
Like you, I too have both weakness and reverence
for doctors. But the risky tag you’ve slapped on the matter
makes it seem like—
Marriage with doctors: never,
never at all.

……. Confusion is the starting
catalyst of all marriages.

22 April 2013 ·

Sister, I don’t understand women at all. I throw stones in the dark. And then see
how many hit their mark.

I harbor no anger toward them. Only love remains. I speak the truth!

Singh, you seem to have fallen into that very trap….

No anger, indeed! Love remains.

Must we make our entire lives revolve around Facebook statuses?

…… Women will always be women as
long as men are men. They will never change.;)

…… Women are never unsmart. How
you look through their inner side, matters.

………… How is this even possible?
If you answer “What’s on your mind?” with precisely life-centered honesty, there’d be no dignity or respect left, you fool!

…………. That’s what makes it beautiful. Women are lovely precisely when they appear innocent, when they seem endearing.

What’s all this?
Where did you see any enthusiasm here?
Giving a like doesn’t cost money, after all.

Why does hallucination come up here? :-> Mou,
I’m not thinking of everyone the same way!
I’ve already said this happens only in certain cases. Rajeeb, these aren’t the words of a wise man,
they’re mine.

Read my words again. Write your comment again. Why do you always remain in error? I don’t know anymore,
hmm… I understand.
Well done, well done.

That’s exactly what’s there. You can’t show originality for long. It causes many people distress. People can’t take that much. It’s not always right to expect them to. If my originality troubles you, why would I continue talking with you?
I am who I am. Chhonda, so one must put on an act. That’s what people want.

You saw only the performance,
not the essence. I only apply the color. You think it’s pretense. Because I’m a woman, after all.

Reading your comment makes me find myself genuinely amusing. Thank you.

I know, I also know this—
their color sense is a bit lacking. Men are needed to bring perfection to it.

24 April 2013

No one is a loser. At day’s end, everyone triumphs in their own way. This is what I’ve observed.

You cannot tag anyone as a ‘loser.’
The number of people who win by losing is actually greater.

We are the ones who made the famous famous. They are merely themselves, nothing more. They too need the toilet, need sleep, feel like doing rotten things (and they do, quite a lot). They are content in their own way. We too are content with their work. It’s impossible to grow up exactly like them. Let us remain as we are, and perhaps one day we’ll touch their heights or even surpass them. That would be better.

1 May 2013

Sometimes some men around you hate
you not because you do something that breeds hatred, but because women they
like to be admired by, expect those men to match some ideals or things that
you’ve but they lack. A man of a woman’s dream is often a man of another man’s
nightmare.

15 May 2013

I don’t have a role model but I hope
to be someone’s role model someday. I am very thankful to those who have trusted
me all along. I am glad I did not let them down.

Feng Tianwei, 2012 Olympic table
tennis bronze medallist, Singapore

True. Sometimes your best role model
is only YOU in a better state you could be. Not always success is being anyone
else you dream of being, rather being a new YOU better than previous YOU or not
degrading your better YOU if you already are. Hardly, things not
worth-challenging are worth-getting. Success is all about earning not
deserving. The easiest way to make people admit you deserve something is only
to earn it. Fact is, your success is what you think you earn, your failure is
what others think you deserve….. Success. It’s just living without sighs.
It’s just dancing in the manner you want and making people think you dance well
even if you don’t. It’s making your style others’ favourite brand even if it’s
foolish. It’s sometimes making people laugh listening to your even worst jokes.
It’s making others hear you even when you don’t speak. It’s taking the
opportunity to tell others that meeting your previous millionth failure was
essential, anyway. It’s making your failures worth-mentioning by you or by
others. It’s just what it’s, not the opposite of failure as often popularly
told and wrongly believed.

Thought: Five hundred and sixty-three

……………………………………………………

17 May 2013

………… Thank you, Sir. Now I
must say you have a cooler patience Sir…………. By the way Sir, my story
resembles yours to some extent, doesn’t it? You, an electrical engineer from BUET,
also showed the guts of thinking out of the box.

……. Sir, you again resemble me.
When I fail, I feel happy to find a brighter companion.

…… Sir, let’s tell stock market
to go ahead conforming to at least some rules & predictions.

……… Brother,
I’ve learned all this through many hard knocks. Your experience is also remarkable,
as far as I know.

………. Sir, it’s the worst form
of gambling. You can never be a good gambler here in Bangladesh.

………. The problem is, my
will-power is great, laziness is greater, natural talent to procrastinate is
the greatest.

……….. Good saying, brother.
Winners can preach; it’s very difficult to always agree with in the transition
period until & unless we be that winners.

……. Your success is always
customized in the way you like or don’t like. Your failure is always customized
in the way others like or don’t like.

19 May 2013 ·

I left home one day with great hopes of going to Moyna Island. I’ve come this far (or perhaps only this far). I know I’ll never reach that utopia. It never happens. Still, though arrival remains uncertain, knowing this and yet continuing the journey—isn’t that what life is? The day I was seized by the longing to break free from reality’s deceptive web of illusion, thinking I could arrange the future’s past or the past’s future to my liking, you were there beside me. Even the unfamiliar and unrestrained seemed simple and natural that day. Thank you, Manik. Because you were born, I no longer fear death quite so much. Happy birthday.

Sandipon used to say:
After my death, in my funeral procession, it won’t be the Gita that accompanies me,
but The Chronicle of Puppet Dance.

25 May 2013 ·

The ins and outs of the BCS written examination. Prothom Alo published this piece of mine in the ‘Dreams’ section, in a somewhat different form, with editorial modifications. I’m sharing this thinking it might help some of you. I’ve written frankly what my own experience tells me. You must decide your exam strategy yourself. Never let anyone else determine this for you. There’s no rule for how to prepare well. Whatever you do or don’t do to succeed, others will mistakenly take that as the rule. Rules don’t control success; success controls rules. By the way, those of you thinking it’s not yet time to call Bela Bose are thinking exactly right. You can’t say the train will definitely come before the train arrives. Stay in the waiting room during this time. Properly, calmly. The time will come for speaking, for raising a fuss……. Hello, is this 2441139?

P.S. From what I’ve understood, it seems coaching centers give a lot of wrong advice. They’re born with the strange ability to complicate simple things. They frighten students by teaching many unnecessary things. I don’t like being frightened. So, sleeping at home during coaching center class hours is also fine. (Ah! Sleeeeeeep……!!) It’s better to understand nothing than to misunderstand. Most of those who become cadres (or get chances at IBA, Dhaka University) fall into three categories: those who didn’t go to coaching centers; those who stopped going to coaching centers at the right time; those who don’t have this childish notion that since they’ve paid money to enroll, they must attend every class to get their money’s worth (that’s a ‘sunk cost’—do you have to watch a terrible movie just because you bought a ticket?). (I remember, in our first class at IBA, one teacher asked those who got admission after coaching to raise their hands. Seventeen hands went up out of sixty. There might have been some arrogance, some lies in that; but not much. The best things in life aren’t for sale.)

Welcome, O Dreams

….. I belong to the second category. Nobody ever misses the opportunity to sell you no matter this is fair or not. People who live by selling others are usually people devoid of commonsense or shame. I’m already tired of protesting against such mean advertisement. I don’t have time & mentality to play Tom & Jerry all the time with such businessmen.

….. You can claim so because you’re a beneficiary of such advertisements. The funny thing is, your coaching centre claims on newspapers, সাইফুরস্ আসলেই সব বিষয়ে দক্ষ। Yes, you’re, especially in spreading lies!

6 June 2013 ·

Cigarette prices are rising. Good news. Very good.

Pain should cost more. Those who live only to smoke cigarettes—let them live a few more days anyway. Others too, for that matter. This much hope. What’s wrong with hoping? There’s no tax on hope. Never has been! How could there be!

First, I want you… may my beloved also find joy in this wanting from time to time now.

How did my beloved come into this cigarette story…

It would’ve been good to raise it even more. Like Bhutan, for instance—400%!

…. In that song by Suman, the ‘you’ is ‘cigarette’. Now do you understand, brother?

Brother, what have you told me! Oh my… we need an amendment to the budget! Let the tax on pain increase even more.

13 June 2013

Most gentlemen in the world are sly devils.

You don’t need to work in government service to have this experience. Even on Facebook, how many people I feel like cursing. And in so many other places!

20 June 2013

Exam grade is a minor indicator of someone’s talent. ~ one of our faculties at IBA, DU

My status is major indicator of my
poor exam grade.

….. It’s their problem, not mine.
Swapan….. Don’t judge me by my admission test results. I’m simply the best
there. Better to pass out with the worst result from the best institute than to
pass out with the best result from the worst institute.

……… Friend,
reading your comment brought back memories of those university lectures during which I used to sleep in class.

…….. My like on your comment is
an indicator of my appreciation of your sense of humor about your good academic
grade. Lying is an art. You could not master it.

……. Never worry. MBA is an
eye-wash type degree. It just feels good when you have it. So, just have it.

22 June 2013

When I see jealousy in men, it makes my skin crawl…… Jealousy should be the province of women.

some seniors will never be of your
type rather resist all your attempts. They will never judge your intentions for
their incapability or jealousness. So overlook that….. do not react
directly……. try to convince in other way, if not possible, drop for that
time. your time will come, must come. Honest intention and dedication never
fail, have patience…. innovate your way to remove irritation and enjoy….

……….. Yes brother, I’m living
it. I “Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying.”

it is true that some people can
never appreciate. Better to keep silent than to tell something disheartening.
Kind words are healthier than chicken soup. Your kind words have always been a
true source of my inspiration. Thank you, dada. God bless you and your family.

……… LIFE…… Let’s live it!

………

“At last”
—spoke Arindam in sorrow

“How did I not know that Lakshman had entered

the demon realm! Alas, father,
is this fitting for you—

this act? Your mother is a virtuous woman,

your brother the greatest of demons—trident-bearing Shiva-like

Kumbhakarna? Your nephew, conqueror of Indra?

Father, do you show the path of your own house to thieves?

Do you seat outcasts in the king’s palace?

But I do not reproach you,
you are my elder,

like a father to me. Open the door, I go to the armory,

I shall send Rama’s brother to the realm of death,

today I shall break Lanka’s disgrace with my call to battle.”

Reflection: Five Hundred Sixty-Four

……………………………………………………

27 June 2013

Everyone you know knows someone you
should know.

2 July 2013

Mere juta hai japani,

Ye patlun englishstani,

Sar pe lal topi rusi,

Phir bhi dil hai hindustani.

This song of Mukesh’s has been playing in my head since morning. What wonderfully effortless acting by Raj Kapoor! Why were the songs of that era so magnificent? Friends, tell me the names of some Bengali and Hindi movies from that time—ones that were truly ‘like that.’ I’ll start… Pushpak

And another thing—does anyone have such movies in their collection? I’d love to copy them.

yeh rat vigi vigi….

Sangam.

yeh waada raha

Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne…………

Guide

..tere mere swapna ek rang ho…

One could spend months just with Satyajit Ray… though his ‘Agantuk’ is worth watching again and again, and there’s the eternal ‘Abar Aranya’ (must see), Satyajit’s favorite story. If I were to mention films from our Bangladesh, I’d speak of ‘Palangka’—with two masters, Anwar Hossain and Utpal Dutt, acting in the same film… Then there’s Ghuddi, Dahan, Shimana Periye, and in this age, definitely ‘Chaka’ (again and again), all of Tareque Masud’s films without question. Abaak Prithibi, Sare Chuattar, Bibaha Bibhrat, Shesh Angka, Goli Theke Rajpath, Sei Chokh, Sagarika, Barnali, Abhiman—watch them all.

Watching ‘Boro Bhalo Lok Chhilo’ makes one think,
Alas!!!

Have you seen the film ‘Palangka’? If not, watch it quickly. I have all of Satyajit’s books in my collection, though I haven’t read them yet; I have all his films too, though I haven’t seen them all yet; the Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne trilogy is wonderful. The new Hindi movies don’t appeal to me as much, though among the new ones, ‘Kahani’ is somewhat of an exception.

…….dunia banane wale kia tere
man me samayee, kaheko dunia banayee tune

Pothe pothe khujte khujte mone mukta
pawa jaye.

Pather Panchali, Apur Sansar, Aranyer Din Ratri… Soumitra Chattopadhyay’s 2004 “Shadows of time” is a very beautiful movie, Ananda Ashrama is wonderful. Every movie by Raj Kapoor is excellent—”Mera Naam Joker” (I can’t remember the name of another film, but the song goes ‘mai kiya karo ramu muje buddha mil gaya’—watching the music video makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, and it’s amazing too), Rajesh Khanna’s Aradhana, Anand, Amar Prem, Kati Patang. Dev Anand’s “Hare Ram Hare Krishna,” Amitabh Bachchan’s “Kabhi Kabhi”—the song ‘kabhi kabhi mere dil mein aate hain ye jo seh tujhe banaya gaya hai mere hi liye’ is an incredibly beautiful song. If you have time, start watching…

mother india

10 July 2013

Human love makes me a criminal.

I must keep a safe distance from all those capable of love.

25 July 2013

The unsuccessful criticize the successful so shamelessly,
as if the successful were responsible for their failures. The best way to succeed is to throw down challenges to oneself. It takes true courage to hold oneself accountable. Without this honest courage, the passion for work never comes.

1 August 2013

The days that would have been better had they not been days of melancholy—I am passing through those days…….

Suchitra Sen. Just a name? No!
What a wonderfully tender feeling! One could die just from her gaze.

3 August 2013 ·

You’ve become lazy these days.

………. I was the same before!
You’re just noticing me these days.

I can say today that you’ve become lazy because I always notice you.

…….. I’ve become many other things too,
do you notice that?

I smell romanticism!
Then you’re smell-blind!

……… Brother,
I used to know,
men say one thing, women understand another. Now I see the reverse happens too!

Urmi, if you weren’t alive, could you wish for death this way? It’s for your convenience that I remain alive.

3 August 2013 ·

I wrote correctly. They perhaps don’t find as much peace in death
as they do in wishing for death.

12 August 2013 ·

I want a wife as beautiful as another man’s wife.

25 August 2013 ·

…….. My life is also a life! And it has a philosophy too!! I’m hopeful.

……. The time to say ‘it didn’t happen’
hasn’t come yet!

It’s taken from life,
after all.

All people in the world think more or less the same way. Some just put on a little attitude,
that’s all!

30 August 2013

Others think, therefore I am.

9 September 2013

The war drums thundered across the battlefield. Millions of soldiers, sentries, and cavalry charged forth in frenzied rage. From the opposite direction, millions more warriors hurled themselves into the fray. One nation against another, one people against another. The novelist then climbs to the top of a minaret to record the entire scene. The king’s crimson velvet robes, the glint of jewels and pearls in his crown, the commander’s daring exploits, the soldiers’ battle cries—the novelist will omit not a single word of any of this. He will note down how many elephants, how many horses joined this war. Every minute detail, every description he will meticulously record.

When the victorious army returns home after the war, the novelist will follow behind them too. Conch shells will sound and ceremonial joy will scatter as elderly women and city maidens call out in welcome. The novelist will write this as well, describing those who raised their voices in celebration behind the ululating cries. And then?

Then suddenly he will notice the short story writer by the roadside, sitting in the shade of a tree with distant eyes. What kind of arrogant writer is this?—the novelist will think to himself. He didn’t climb any minaret, didn’t witness the chronicle of war, didn’t join the procession—what sort of literary person is this?! Perhaps he will even say such things to the short story writer.

And then, with a long, deep sigh, the short story writer will look up and perhaps say: No, friend, I saw none of these things—nothing for me to see. I saw only one scene.

He will point toward some window across the street, where a woman’s anxious eyes have searched the entire procession in vain, a tear of disappointment forming at the corner of her eye—someone has not returned, someone has not come back.

The short story writer will see the entire war within that drop of pain, within those trembling tears, and perhaps say: Friend, in that single teardrop lies my infinite ocean.

~ Ramapada Chowdhury

10 September 2013

Beauty meets Beast.

23 September 2013

I don’t want to survive on pretense; I want to live through sincerity.

10 October 2013 ·

Apes have become gentlemen not
changing their religion. The most prevailing religion in today’s world,
yesterday’s world, tomorrow’s world: OPPORTUNISM.

Yes, we all are opportunists no
matter whatever else we claim to be.

12 October 2013

Life’s endless waiting… this life will end in waiting, my friend.

14 October 2013

The punishment for life’s uncommitted sins is far greater than the regret of not committing those sins; death could never inflict even a quarter of such anguish. Victory lies with the defeated.

17 October 2013

I saw… my elder brother’s deeds. House of lac. Forest of people. Castles in the air.

I see… the honeycomb.

Thought: Five hundred sixty-five

……………………………………………………

19 October 2013

I became
the most obedient student
of CUET and IBA. No one has ever made the grading system as meaningful as I have. Hah! Whatever grades are available, I’ve collected them all.
(Only, unfortunately, I’ve still failed to get an F at IBA.)

Feeling alphabetically accomplished…….

………. What’s wrong in F, madam?
It’s a grade, after all. You’ve no right to neglect it.

……… Didn’t get it at IBA, friend,
I swear by my sister-in-law!
IBA failed to evaluate me properly.

……. Nothing is deserved, dude.
Everything is earned. I earned many F’s.

……. Being strong enough to tell
about weak points without any regrets feels great, bhaiya.

There’s no such thing as the best place, brother. Every place is good.

……. I just saved my skin by sheer luck. Nothing more.

16 November 2013

Rashomon. Seven Samurai. Yojimbo. Ran. I watched these four works of Kurosawa. Perfect! Extraordinary!
When you see such perfection and attention to detail in cinema,
you understand how much patience and hard work, combined with love for the craft and brilliance, must come together to create a masterpiece. That’s why some manage it;
the rest just watch,
only watch and move on. Being a spectator is always easier. In every field. I understood
where the deep bond between our Satyajit and this man lies. It’s not easy to captivate an audience. Keeping them captivated is even harder! Hour after hour. Day after day. Keeping your eyes glued to the screen with the desire to see life through the lens of great filmmakers!
Understanding life’s simple, straightforward truths so easily! Yes,
this too happens!
Imagine that!
Their achievement lies precisely here!
Those for whom living is nobler than being born,
death is noblest.

17 November 2013 ·

Happiness is…….watching a good
movie. What’s a good movie? Well, the movie that makes me feel like being with
it when I’m watching it. Good is a movie only as long as I’m liking it. Better
rewatch a good movie than watch a bad one. You’re never too late to watch a
good movie you might like. Better live a second and die than dream of living a
thousand years but die!! (Stop listening to stuffs like……. Not watched it
yet?! So late?! now watching Amélie.

20 November 2013

Yellow Spring. Madhukori. Sabinoy Nibedan. For a Little Warmth. Chaprash. And Buddhadeb Guha. And me. And the feeling of love. So much, so much love. And wandering through the nooks and crannies of life in whatever way I please, searching for life in my mind, walking through the imagined life of the writer and then truly returning to real life again. Yes, some days are like this too!

Such is life! Yet,
I should not have more fantasy than I can contain.

21 November 2013 ·

I am always a hardcore fan of your keen sense of humor.

Ah! Don’t let this day belong to them! You too were part of this day!

There’s something about seeing through their eyes in this status.

But I belong to the group of
successive failure.

Whether I’ll be alive just a little while longer remains uncertain,
so my small mind doesn’t entertain such grand thoughts. As long as I exist,
I want to live with small joys. No one enters civil service with plans to harm the country. Who doesn’t carry great responsibilities? Everyone has them, everyone does their bit for the nation! Each in their own way, no one understands their duty any less. This piece of mine is about the beauty of this wonderful moment today, nothing more.

……….. Being alive never lets
you say finally you’re a failure.

…….. Those who aren’t civil servants, many of them have this main problem: seeing one or two corrupt bureaucrats, they cheerfully consider everyone corrupt without the slightest discomfort, and assume that staying outside civil service becomes a sacred duty if one wants to advance the country.

……… I’ve always wanted to be a good person,
so what I consider a good career has eluded me!!
What strange self-satisfaction!! How crudely this insults those who are in that career!!

……. Brother,
the successful are never unworthy. The unsuccessful may be more deserving, but the successful are worthy nonetheless. My sincere good wishes for you.

Brother, the successful are certainly worthy….the unworthy succeed due to systemic flaws….

…… When you want to be a part of
any system, you have only 2 options: OBEY OR LEAVE.

27 November 2013 ·

I watched The Disguise.

I’m watching The Prisoner of Jhind.

I watch movies,
I eat puffed rice.

28 November 2013 ·

I watched An Enemy of the People. Satyajit Ray’s film. The way the movie ended—is reality exactly like that?
Or should we assume that while Ashok Gupta thumbed his nose at public sentiment to that extent, the director couldn’t go that far?
What a cruel defeat of the creator by his own creation!!

Doing good work isn’t bad, but understanding the acceptability of good work and then doing that good work is even better. One can survive; by surviving, one can do more good work. Many others survive too, many others can be saved.

Satyajit again!
Where else can I go! This time I’m with Branches of the Tree.

29 November 2013 ·

I fell in love with Satyajit’s Charulata!

30 November 2013 ·

Happiness is…….playing music at full volume and dancing with all the doors and windows of the room shut.:-D

How is it possible to do this in such a situation, little brother?
Right now I find no joy in anything except sitting in solitary meditation and praying for the country.

Life… is a tale…. Told by an
idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

……… Your little brother here has another name: Nero. He is a person of extremely base instincts, crude intelligence, driven by pleasure and the senses. He is a parasite of this society. He possesses neither your nobility nor your patriotic spirit. Please forgive your little brother.

Nero? Well said,
little brother. You’ve given quite a profound reply. I’m impressed!

……. There is no happiness, there
is no peace…… There is only LIFE.

3 December 2013 ·

….. They say, I look even cooler
when I’m hot.

………. You can never avoid
something if you’re already with it all around.

4 December 2013

I’m watching John Ford’s film, The Grapes of Wrath. This movie is based on Nobel Prize-winning novelist John Steinbeck’s novel. In making the film, the director has changed some elements of the story somewhat, but with a skilled hand;
just as Satyajit had done when making Pather Panchali. I can understand why filmmakers like Bergman, Fellini,
Kurosawa, Hitchcock, Spielberg, Godard, Kubrick,
and Satyajit also revered Ford as their master.

15 December 2013 ·

Sushanta Mukhopadhyay: Yes, I was saying that generally it’s observed that you perhaps refrain from saying even the harsh truths about someone’s writing that could be said. You leave out one aspect. Why?

Sunil Gangopadhyay: That is because I generally don’t criticize anyone. Even about those who criticize me,
I can’t speak ill of them……. This is my character……..
I believe that when reading a book, one should highlight the good aspects rather than the bad ones. However, I don’t praise things that I find completely disagreeable. It’s not as if I’ve praised any bad book. When something has both good and bad aspects,
I show the good side, I don’t mention the bad.

Sushanta Mukhopadhyay: But surely one could hope that as a senior, you would at least help correct their flaws.

Sunil Gangopadhyay: I’m not a teacher, after all. Correcting flaws……

(Taken from the book ‘Kathabarta Sangraha’ containing some interviews with Sunil Gangopadhyay)

Thought: Five hundred and sixty-six

……………………………………………………

19 December 2013 ·

Some of my favorite films in other languages
(excluding Bengali-English-Hindi):

Life Is Beautiful

Bicycle Thieves

Amélie

Seven Samurai

Cinema Paradiso

Wild Strawberries

Yojimbo

The 400 Blows

Rashomon

Children of Heaven

City of God

La Haine

Breathless

La Strada

The Seventh Seal

The Lives of Others

Spirited Away

The Kite Runner

Bashu, the Little Stranger

Grave of the Fireflies

What about yours?

Life Is Beautiful

Bicycle Thieves

Amélie

Cinema Paradiso

Children of Heaven.

Separation….must see Iranian movie

downfall, oldboy

children of heaven, taste of cherry,
apple, Kandahar, before the rain, cinema paradise, life is beautiful, seven
samurai, rashomon, run, talk to her, vanilla sky (Spanish ver)… many many
more… can’t remember…

I remember now. You can watch The Pianist. I saw it in German. I think it’s available in several languages, though I’m not certain. But I really enjoyed it.

Ash life of spi, talash, maghadira,
dipu no.2, amer bondu rashed, galliver travels, thor, MI series etc.

Oldboy, New World, The Yellow Sea,
Memories of Murder, Vekas, The Secret in Their Eyes, The Berlin File, Run Lola
Run, Lives of Others, Infernal Affairs, Mongol: The Rise of Genghis Khan,
Miracle in cell no 7 and many more. U may try these

The count of monte christo, the
greatest game ever played, bicycle thief,rock, Indiana jones series.

Breathless,

the secret in their eyes,

color trilogy-red, white & blue,

Alexander Nevsky,

October (Ten Days that Shook the
World),

Battleship Potemkin,

Ivan’s Childhood,

Day for Night,

La DOlche Vita…

you can watch “The
Classic” and “Daisy”, those are nice Korean movies. Enjoy

Tristana,

Thorn of blood,

Le Petit Soldat,

Contempt,

Short film about love,

Short film about murder,

Stoning of Suriya M…

you can watch some movies of legend
satyajit roy. besides my favourite movies are babel, the prestige, inception,
the burning plane, forest gump, the last samurai, the illusionist, the pursuit
of happiness, cast away, stoning of soraiya and there are also many movies
those keep my soul alive but at this moment I cannot recall the name of those
movies!!!

A moment to remember, Sunflower, Two
women, Downfall, Hachiko, Departures, Perfume — these come to mind for now. You can watch them if you haven’t seen them.

Korean romantic movies are awesome
such as windstruck, my sassy girl, a moment to remember etc.

Gone with the winds, Perfume, Grapes
of wrath, 300, Black Hawk down, The Heart locker s, The wolves of Iraq, Brave
Heart, Schinder’s List, Defiant, Django Unchained, Love in the time of Cholera,
Blood Diamond

Big Fish

Hugo

The town

A boy with stripe pyjama

A moment to remember

Bicycle thieves

Apocalipto

Perfume

God Must Be Crazy 1 and 2, Persona,
The Butterfly Effect, Wuthering Heights, Brokeback Mountain, The Unbearable
Lightness of Being……

Buddy we already shared b2in us what
we have. though I think I should add some…. Paris ja time, The River, the
girl with dragon tattoo, grave of the replies, jamon jamon, rehearsal,
irreversible, knowing, clover field, jumper, a curious case of benjamin button,
perfume, hachiko, in to the wild, apocalypto, prestige, shooter,agora,B13,
forbidden kingdom, shawshank redemption, limitless, ratatouille, blow, water
lilies, bad guy, tears of the sun, catch me if you can, behind enemy lines and
so on……

The Motorcycle Diaries should probably be on the list, I think. Along with A Very Long Engagement and Pan’s Labyrinth. Iran’s Baran.

The godfather 1, godfather 2,
amelie, fight club, forrest gump.

24 December 2013 ·

: Brother, you studied at CUET, didn’t you?

: Well, I mean……. Oh yes, I spent a few years at CUET.

(At CUET
‘studied’?! I can’t recall! Did I? I’m not sure!)

……. Then, I’m not a genius.
Geniuses are not assumed.

genius can’t judge himself as genius
But others can……..now as we…

…… No regrets, dada!
That too is a path. A wonderful path. I’m not worthy of it.

……. Corrected? Who knows, dada!
No right path, no wrong path…. only ‘path’, dada. How we accept or reject it,
matters.

26 December 2013

…….. Intense love or intense hatred,
both are terrible.

28 December 2013

Year-end shopping. The year-beginning shopping was for books,
I remember. The year passed in books; buying almost always,
reading sometimes. Same at the end. Today’s books:

How Girls Are

Dhaka Legends

101 Stories by Satyajit

Complete Works of Sukumar

Complete Travel Writings of Samaresh Majumdar
‘Nomadic’

Son of the Pole Star

Four Studies

There Is No Golden Deer

Tomorrow You Are a Will-o’-the-wisp

Chronicle of an Outcaste Life (Volume 1)

Gar Srikhand

Pablo Neruda’s Book of Questions

Ranu and
Bhanu

Young Men and Women

The Minds of Pakistani Generals: Bengali Bangladesh and
the Liberation War

On the Deep Lonely Path

Complete Prose of Mallika Sengupta

Zero

Rights of the Forest

At the Threshold

Somewhere Else

On the Path of the Great Departure

Complete Novels of Dipendranath Bandyopadhyay

Complete Travel Stories of Annada Shankar Roy

Poetic Tales of the Wedding Night

I didn’t buy these in joy, but felt joy after buying them. When the thought of buying books enters my head, I get restless. I don’t like ending the year with unease.

29 December 2013

Wouldn’t be bad if all offices had winter vacation. Getting up early in the morning and then falling asleep early again—what peace!!
In this cold, I want to go into hibernation! On winter mornings, gathering courage in your chest and pouring that first splash of water on your body during a bath is no less than winning a war! :-/

29 December 2013

Finding a girlfriend who gets happy when you gift her books is truly a stroke of fortune for any man. Why? Whether the beloved reads those books or not, it saves money in the pocket!

Keeping women charmed and enchanted with so little expense is no small joy. Today I went to Lighthouse with just such a fortunate friend. His beloved’s birthday—he was going to give books. He bought them too. Two books. The first: Easy Chinese Cooking. I understood that for now, not he but his future in-laws would be the fortunate ones. (A wife who cooks well—that’s a wonderful thing!) Then he bought: Beauty Care at Home. Now I understood that my friend was truly blessed. Being a fortunate man is a matter of great good luck. Both books were chosen according to his girlfriend’s preferences. I felt envious of my friend’s good fortune. Many women save their husband’s money, but how many save their boyfriend’s?

Even the blind can see when they enter a bookstore. Yesterday’s resolution was to finish the year’s last shopping yesterday itself. Yet the eyes won’t turn away, the heart won’t listen. (It’s not my fault at all, it’s all theirs.) A man who doesn’t hold hands with his girlfriend even when she’s right there—he’s utterly heartless! I’m not heartless. A man who can’t suppress his desire to gently kiss her cheek in a public place—he’s downright barbaric! I’m not barbaric either. So I bought, I bought them. Bought whom? These neuter-gendered ancient beloveds, these faithful mute companions—what end is there to their mysteries? I bought with coins:

God Earth Love

Mrinal Sen’s Autobiography: The Third World

Sunflower

Mira’s Afternoon

Twelve Rooms, One Courtyard

Ashok Mitra’s Collected Essays

Italy’s Renaissance, Bengali Culture

Sandipon’s Complete Prose (2 volumes)

Uncle Lion’s Mahabharata (I mean, the Mahabharata translated by Kaliprasanna Singha) (2 volumes)

Alone and a Few Others

Prince Dara Shukoh (2 volumes)

Kuber’s Circumstances

The Magician

Dust and Sandalwood

Shahidul Zahir: Complete Works

Actually, in book-buying and politics, there’s no such thing as having the last word.

Thought: Five hundred sixty-seven

……………………………………………………

30 December 2013 ·

Friends, what was the best movie you saw this year? The best book you read (excluding Facebook)? The best song you heard?

Movie: Africa United. Book: 2 States. Song: Ami je jolsha ghore (Manna Dey)

New World (Korean), Now You See Me (English), Madras Cafe (Hindi), Proloy (Bengali).

“Guerrilla”…bangla movie.

Coffee house…. Manna Dey.

1. the curious case of Benjamin
button,2. allan and the holy flower 3.Lorde-royals

Let me name one each: 1. Film—the
journey/Fernando Solanas 2. Book—Odhir Biswaser Kishor Sahityo
Somogro ‘Urojahaj’ (4 volumes)
3. Song—the songs from Jaler Gaaner Ganguli.

Song: Michil—Shironamhin Satya—Warfaze

Movie: LOVE LIKES COINCIDENTS Baishe Shrabon

Movie—Stalingrad [German
film]…..Books:—My Side[david beckham],The Bourne Identity…..Song:—Bedona
modhur hoye jai……

Mv: The Lone Ranger

Best movie Life of Pi Movie, best
song that touched me is Katy Perry’s Roar sung by Olivia Wise and best book
Eat, Pray, Love….

movie— Proloy (Bangla), A Walk to
Remember (Eng)

book: Subrata Tar Somporkito
Susomachar—Humayun Azad

song: Tum Hi Ho (Arijit)

For now I’m reading the complete works of Apu’s Sansar, having already read up to Aparajito before. Still, I started from Pather Panchali. Now having finished Aparajito, I’m reading Kajal. This feels like the best to me right now. When I close my eyes, I can imagine Nishchindipur.

Ash Movie: Tangled, Book: The Days of ’71,
Song: Are you still the same as before?

Best movie
: Pratidwandi (1970). Satyajit Babu’s take on Sunil’s story

Best book
: Durbin – Shirshendu Babu.

Best song
: Main Shair To Nain- Bobby(1973) – Shailendra
Singh.

I don’t really watch movies much…
Book: Bimal Mitra’s Begum Mary Biswas, and Jaler Gaan has been heard far too often

movie: Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani

book: The Death of a Salesman

Best movie:
Captain Phillips

Best song:
Karunesh (instrumental) – Buddhabar III dream

Best book:
Parthib—Shirshendu

Book: Kacher Manush, Suchitra Bhattacharya

Song: Atol Jaler Gaan
“If only it were so, that I could be like a bird…”

movie : The Last Samurai…….book:
Pather Panchali

Movie: Roman Holiday, Sound of
Music. Bangla: Datta vs Datta, Hemlock Society Book: Sigmund Freud’s
Civilization and its Discontents.

Movie— English: Now You See Me,
August Rush, The Return (2003-Russian movie)

Bangla: Proloy, Hemlock Society.

Hindi: Bhaag Milkha Bhaag

book: Witness to
Surrender………… Movie: Guerrilla, The Magnificent Seven ……song: none

Daisy (Korean)

song: Ei To Ami Chai (Hemlock
Society)

book: no one writes to cornel

Life of pie…….

Barfi

Books: The Puppet’s Tale, Communication,
The Godfather, Download.

Movies: Bengali—Combustion,
Sickness, The Jewelry Box.
ENG—Green Mile, Pretty Woman, August Rush, The Notebook. HIN—Raanjhanaa, Bhaag Milkha
Bhaag. Songs: I shall find you anew, strange sorrows…and many more.

Movie: Olympus Has Fallen

Song: Yo Yo Honey Singh Blue Eyes

Movie— It’s a wonderful life (1946)

Fog (movie)

Invictus (2009)

Movie— The Artist (2011), Book—Mountains of the Moon, Song—Rabindra Sangeet

Sushanta Paul·Wednesday, April 10, 2019·11 minutes

Thought: Five Hundred Sixty-One

……………………………………………………

28 February 2013 ·

There was a time when I had no desire whatsoever to complete my honors degree. Why should I finish it? There wasn’t a single compelling argument before me in its favor. I remember deliberately dragging out my final semester project for ages. My project supervisor, Saki Kawsar sir, was an extremely stern and nitpicky man. He paid me no heed, and I paid him none either. As much as he tormented me, I tormented him even more. I was quite content with myself and my ways. Instead of wasting time sleeping, I spent my waking hours dreaming. Yes, that’s how I am. Nothing to be done about it!

We never know where life will take us.

……… It’s precisely because it’s uncertain that life is worth living.

………….. Life is a joke……
We’ve only 2 choices: Get busy laughing or get busy dying.

…….. And then……
surviving.

……… One must remain silent before finding voice. That’s the rule.

…. I don’t live thinking about all this and that. Where’s the time?
Just living exhausts all my time!

…… With smiling faces we shall mock our fate.

…… Que sera, sera.

……… Yes, that’s how I am. Nothing to be done about it!

She should have died hereafter;

There would have been a time for
such a word.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and
tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day
to day,

To the last syllable of recorded
time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted
fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out,
brief candle!

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor
player

That struts and frets his hour upon
the stage

And then is heard no more. It is a
tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and
fury

Signifying nothing.

I understand little. Write even less. This is how I am. Nothing can be done about it!

……… Brother,
one cannot enjoy without suffering. Perhaps this is the rule.

……. It is because it is unknown that we live to know it. Perhaps,
in error. What does it matter?

…………… As long as there is ‘what comes next,’ there is life. In death, there is no ‘what comes next.’

……. I don’t always tear things apart.
Rather, most of the time I tear myself apart. Yet life doesn’t stop — sometimes it just pauses. If I were to pause too, then everything would be finished!

………. It takes strength to shout. I don’t have that. An imperiled person cannot save the nation. I am imperiled. I don’t understand the way you all do,
I cannot comprehend. This is my failure,
my mute helplessness. My Facebook wall is like my poetry notebook, where I write as I please. If it disturbs someone’s sleep or makes them drowsy, that is not my responsibility. Just as I have the complete right to be ignorant and remain so,
my friends have the right not to tolerate my ignorance. If it becomes unbearable, there are remedies for that too.

…….. Let me remain as I am. I have arranged myself in my own way. I’m not complaining to you about how you remain yourselves.

O God!
Grant my friends the capacity to understand my language. Otherwise,
give me some other tongue.

1 March 2013

The happiness that can be bought with money —
it’s wrong to say it can be purchased. In the final reckoning,
that happiness purchases us. The slavery of happiness is more shameful than sorrow.

11 March 2013

I believe that if you tell your boss
what you really think of him, the truth will set you free……. Do you believe
it? If you don’t, why not give it a try?

16 March 2013

….. Never search for how I became lost. So many people get lost. Listen, like dust I had merged among people. In a fragment of a room, on the street,
sitting by the gutters I had spent my life — I had seen angels at tea stalls,
falling asleep again and again while washing cups and plates.

O strangers, I had loved you.

On the day when the wind comes to your doors and windows and blows away the colored curtains,
when heaps of dreams will awaken from the dense, dark furniture of office rooms, as if I too were among them all—

Faded like a dry stillness, alone.

Bhaskar Chakrabarti,
‘The Story of Disappearing’

His writings are like a weaver bird’s nest. Small, yet with skillful craftsmanship.

17 March 2013

Sometimes it seems to me,
the best way to live well
is to forget the grammar of living well.

An idealist/perfectionist is always dangerous to society.

26 March 2013 ·

“Listen, dear. Communication is
a two-way street,” says the wife. “When I talk, you have to
listen.” After that, communication is over.

…… It sounds; you’ve got a
henpecked hubby….. Eh?…. God bless him.

31 March 2013 ·

These days, newspapers no longer print advertisements alongside writing,
they print writing alongside advertisements. In this writing, through the editor’s skilled editing, the two models above the text have appeared more beautiful than the writing itself. This naturally ensures that beauty-loving conscious readers (like me) will dream more about the models than about the writing.

Thanks to Prothom Alo; the flavor of my writing hasn’t completely changed.
Special thanks to Rakib bhai.

5 April 2013

Watched ‘Nauka Dubi.’
I want a lover like Hemu, a wife like Kamala.

Then make a pair of clogs;
the clogs of this age, even if they don’t land on your own head, will occasionally hurl themselves at your head.

Must I dig the grave too?

I’m willing to die a hundred times for the sake of living once.

All consolation is wonderful.

8 April 2013

I haven’t understood myself yet. Who has
the power to understand
this mystery?

I am fine. The hero of my story is suffering.

Open your eyes. It seems I won’t be coming out anymore.

Aparajita, beautiful tongue.

Friend, I couldn’t stay away from you much longer.

They’ve been that way since forever. What new thing can I do?

She never learned to lose by winning. She
sometimes won by losing. Even if she doesn’t win, still she hasn’t lost
in this life.

10 April 2013

Is not understanding the wise thing to do?
I don’t understand this either. I find understanding difficult. Not understanding is even more difficult. What can one do!

We came to know the poet Shakti through Sunil and his circle. Had the Coffee House table not changed, perhaps Shakti’s trajectory wouldn’t have shifted so abruptly either.

To write, one must know, one must understand. Laziness cannot remain. I have everything that’s needed for not writing. It will take time, brother.

12 April 2013 ·

So many crushes and confessions to witness—my head’s gone spinning! Makes me want to study at CUET all over again!

If you wrote about me, I would’ve gifted you a yellow shirt and green pants in my joy. Along with a bright red tie. New Year’s gift.

That’s what I want to know too! To tell, one must know.

Brother, when we studied at CUET,
CUET was still a boys’ school. Later it gradually became a university. I’ve heard that falling for young lads is a sin.

Reflection: Five hundred sixty-two

……………………………………………………

16 April 2013

Clouds whisper moment by moment. The gentle touch of the year’s first rain! It touches the eyes. The lips tremble as if with some deep thirst. The entire mind merges with the body,
and the body with the mind. Everything becomes one. Mind and body. Body and mind. Oh!

Seeing this rain’s tears today, I remembered you……

Who?

Who else?
The umbrella! I forgot and left it at home.

17 April 2013

Where I’m sitting,
I mean I’m talking about my office room, right behind it are rows of trees. Akashi,
neem, korai, almond,
and some other unknown medicinal plants. In between runs a gleaming road. Beside it, the array of casuarina,
reed beds. The whispered breeze, the sweet rhythm of dancing rain,
the awakening stretch of sleeping casuarina leaves. Some children running about,
shouting, rejoicing. They gather leaves, dream with the gathered leaves,
dance life into being. In the shadows of newly sprouted grass, insects move about taking in the scent of wet earth. In the gaps between, the arriving sun is welcomed by birdsong. In this magnificent festival of rain, I—this unsightly one—am terribly out of place. Right at this moment, I feel more helpless than even the lampposts standing sadly on the road.

19 April 2013

There was an understanding
that there would be no conversation.

Then why does conversation happen?

20 April 2013

She’s a woman to begin with, and on top of that, a doctor. Surviving the burden of emotions becomes impossible!
If you marry a doctor woman, she’ll turn life into kerosene and set it ablaze. Doctor marrying doctor is better.

How much of this is true?

…… Maybe wrong I’m as much as
right I’m.

…… There’s no story here, brother. But I wish such a story would unfold;
then again, the rascal boys frighten me!

…… I asked Sushanto and learned that he’s prioritizing doctor brides for marriage……………..
(How shameful!)

…… Give the poor engineer some percentage too,
didi.

……. How many doctor girls have been married off so far, I wonder……

………. Didi,
these words aren’t mine, you know!
They’re the public’s. I just copied them!

………. Shouldn’t one marry any girl at all?……. Well, I mean… never mind….
(There’s nothing serious in it…..
)

……. I haven’t tasted it. So I don’t know whether it’s sour or sweet or spicy…. nothing at all. 😉

…… You’re a celibate sage, Baba Bhandananda.

……. Not always…. Not all sweet
couples do come from Heaven, some are made on earth too.

………. Hey, you clever boy! Then why do you turn down proposals from doctor brides,
tell me…….

……. Brother,
like you, I too have both weakness and respect for doctors. But the risky tag you’ve attached to this whole thing
makes it seem like:
Marriage to doctors — never, never at all.

……. Confusion is the starting
catalyst of all marriages.

22 April 2013 ·

Didi, I don’t understand women. I throw stones in the dark. And see
how many hit their mark.

I have no anger toward them. Only love remains. I’m telling the truth!

Singh, it seems you’ve been caught in that very trap….

No anger! There’s love.

Must we make our entire lives revolve around Facebook statuses?

…… Women will always be women as
long as men are men. They will never change.;)

…… Women are never unsmart. How
you look through their inner side, matters.

………… Is this even possible?
If we answer “What’s on your mind?” with exactly what concerns our lives, there’ll be no dignity or honor left, you fool!

…………. That’s what’s beautiful. When women are innocent, that’s when they seem beautiful, when they feel good.

What’s all this about?
Where did you see any interest here?
It doesn’t cost money to give a like.

Why is hallucination coming up here? :-> Mou,
I’m not thinking of everyone the same way!
I’ve already said this only happens in some cases. Rajib, these words aren’t from a wise man,
they’re mine.

Read my words again. Write your comment again. Why do you always remain in error? And I don’t know,
hmmmm…. I understand.
Well done, well done.

That’s exactly it. You can’t show off originality for too long. It makes many people uncomfortable. People can’t take that much. And it’s not always right to expect them to. If your originality creates problems for me, why would I continue talking to you?
I am who I am. Pretense is necessary, so I have to put on airs. That’s what people want.

You only saw the pretense,
not the color. I only apply color. You think it’s pretense. Because I’m a woman, after all.

Reading your comment, I’m truly finding myself amusing. Thank you.

I know, I also know this—
their color sense is a bit lacking. It takes men to bring perfection to it.

24 April 2013

No one is a loser. At the end of the day, everyone wins in their own way. This is what I have seen.

But you cannot tag anyone as a ‘loser.’
There are actually more people who win by losing.

We are the ones who made the famous famous. But they are simply themselves, nothing more. They too need the toilet, get sleepy, feel like doing rotten things (and they do,
quite a lot actually). They are content in their own way. We too are content with their work. It’s impossible to grow up exactly like them. Let us remain as we are, and someday we’ll touch them or surpass them. That’s better.

1 May 2013

Sometimes some men around you hate
you not because you do something that breeds hatred, but because women they
like to be admired by, expect those men to match some ideals or things that
you’ve but they lack. A man of a woman’s dream is often a man of another man’s
nightmare.

15 May 2013

I don’t have a role model but I hope
to be someone’s role model someday. I am very thankful to those who have
trusted me all along. I am glad I did not let them down.

Feng Tianwei, 2012 Olympic table
tennis bronze medallist, Singapore

True. Sometimes your best role model
is only YOU in a better state you could be. Not always success is being anyone
else you dream of being, rather being a new YOU better than previous YOU or not
degrading your better YOU if you already are. Hardly, things not
worth-challenging are worth-getting. Success is all about earning not
deserving. The easiest way to make people admit you deserve something is only
to earn it. Fact is, your success is what you think you earn, your failure is
what others think you deserve….. Success. It’s just living without sighs.
It’s just dancing in the manner you want and making people think you dance well
even if you don’t. It’s making your style others’ favourite brand even if it’s
foolish. It’s sometimes making people laugh listening to your even worst jokes.
It’s making others hear you even when you don’t speak. It’s taking the
opportunity to tell others that meeting your previous millionth failure was
essential, anyway. It’s making your failures worth-mentioning by you or by
others. It’s just what it’s, not the opposite of failure as often popularly
told and wrongly believed.

Reflection: Five hundred sixty-three

……………………………………………………

17 May 2013

………… Thank you, Sir. Now I
must say you have a cooler patience Sir…………. By the way Sir, my story
resembles yours to some extent, doesn’t it? You, an electrical engineer from
BUET, also showed the guts of thinking out of the box.

……. Sir, you again resemble me.
When I fail, I feel happy to find a brighter companion.

…… Sir, let’s tell stock market
to go ahead conforming to at least some rules & predictions.

……… Brother,
I’ve learned all this after taking quite a beating. Your experience is quite
remarkable too, as far as I know.

………. Sir, it’s the worst form
of gambling. You can never be a good gambler here in Bangladesh.

………. The problem is, my
will-power is great, laziness is greater, natural talent to procrastinate is
the greatest.

……….. Good saying, brother.
Winners can preach; it’s very difficult to always agree with in the transition
period until & unless we be that winners.

……. Your success is always
customized in the way you like or don’t like. Your failure is always customized
in the way others like or don’t like.

19 May 2013 ·

I once left home with great hope, saying I would go to Moyna Island. I have come this far (or perhaps only this far).
I know I will never reach that utopia. One never does. Yet,
arrival remains uncertain—
knowing this, to keep walking is life itself!
The day I was seized by the yearning to break free from reality’s deceptive web of illusions, thinking I would arrange the future’s past or the past’s future in my own way,
you were there beside me. Even the unfamiliar and unrestrained seemed natural and graceful that day. Thank you, Manik. Because you were born, I no longer fear death quite so much. Happy birthday.

Sandipon used to say,
After my death, at my funeral procession, it won’t be the Gita that accompanies me,
but The Chronicle of Puppet Dance.

25 May 2013 ·

The ins and outs of BCS written examination. ‘Prothom Alo’
published this piece of mine
on the ‘Dreams’
page, though in a slightly different form, with editorial intervention. I’m sharing it thinking it might be useful to some of you. I’ve written candidly what my own experience tells me. You will decide your exam strategy yourself. Never let anyone else determine this for you. There is no rule for how to prepare well.
Whatever you do or don’t do to succeed, others will mistakenly take that as the rule. Rules don’t control success;
success controls rules. By the way, those of you thinking it’s not yet time to call Bela Bose are thinking exactly right. You can’t say the train will come before the train comes. Stay in the waiting room during this time. Properly,
calmly. The time will come for speaking,
for shouting……. Hello, is this
2441139?

Postscript. From what I’ve understood,
it seems coaching centers give much wrong advice. They’re born with the strange ability to complicate simple things. They instill fear by teaching many unnecessary things. I don’t like being afraid. So,
sleeping at home during coaching center class time is also good.
(Ah! Sleeeeep…….!!) It’s better to understand nothing than to misunderstand. Those who become cadres (or get into Dhaka University’s IBA)
are mostly of three types: those who never went to coaching centers, those who stopped going to coaching centers at the right time, those who don’t have the childishness in their heads that just because they paid money to enroll, they must attend all classes to recover that money
(that’s a ‘sunk cost’—
just because I bought a ticket doesn’t mean I have to watch a bad movie, does it?). (I remember, in our first class at IBA, one of our teachers asked those who got admission after coaching to raise their hands. Seventeen hands went up
out of sixty. There might have been some arrogance, some lies in it; but not that much. The best things
don’t sell for money.)

Welcome, O Dream

….. I belong to the second
category. Nobody ever misses the opportunity to sell you no matter this is fair
or not. People who live by selling others are usually people devoid of
commonsense or shame. I’m already tired of protesting against such mean
advertisement. I don’t have time & mentality to play Tom & Jerry all
the time with such businessmen.

….. You can claim so because
you’re a beneficiary of such advertisements. The funny thing is, your coaching
centre claims on newspapers, সাইফুরস্
আসলেই সব বিষয়ে দক্ষ।
Yes, you’re, especially in spreading lies!

6 June 2013 ·

Cigarette prices are rising. Good news. Very good.

It’s better when the price of torment is high. Those who live only to smoke cigarettes—let them live a bit longer. And others too. This much hope. What’s wrong with hoping? They haven’t raised taxes on hope yet. There aren’t any! How could there be!

First, I want you……
Let the beloved also find joy sometimes in this wanting.

How did the beloved enter this cigarette story…….

Would’ve been better if they’d raised it more. Like Bhutan—400%!

…. In that song by Suman
the ‘you’ is ‘cigarette.’ Now do you understand, brother?

Brother, what have you told me!
Good heavens…… we need
amendments to the budget!
Let the tax on torment rise further.

13 June 2013

Most gentlemen in this world are sly devils.

You don’t need a government job to have this experience. Even on Facebook, there are so many people I want to curse out. And in so many other places!

20 June 2013

Exam grade is a minor indicator of
someone’s talent. ~ one of our faculties at IBA, DU

My status is major indicator of my
poor exam grade.

….. It’s their problem, not mine.
Swapan….. Don’t judge me by my admission test results. I’m simply the best
there. Better to pass out with the worst result from the best institute than to
pass out with the best result from the worst institute.

……… Friend,
reading your comment reminded me of those university lectures during which I used to sleep in class.

…….. My like on your comment is
an indicator of my appreciation of your sense of humor about your good academic
grade. Lying is an art. You could not master it.

……. Never worry. MBA is an
eye-wash type degree. It just feels good when you have it. So, just have it.

22 June 2013

When I see men’s jealousy, my blood boils…… Let women be the ones who are jealous.

some seniors will never be of your
type rather resist all your attempts. They will never judge your intentions for
their incapability or jealousness. So overlook that….. do not react
directly……. try to convince in other way, if not possible, drop for that
time. your time will come, must come. Honest intention and dedication never
fail, have patience…. innovate your way to remove irritation and enjoy….

……….. Yes brother, I’m living
it. I “Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying.”

it is true that some people can
never appreciate. Better to keep silent than to tell something disheartening.
Kind words are healthier than chicken soup. Your kind words have always been a
true source of my inspiration. Thank you, dada. God bless you and your family.

……… LIFE…… Let’s live it!

………

“By now”
—Arindam spoke in anguish—

“I know how Laxman came to enter

Rakshapura! Alas, Father,
was it right of you—

this deed? Your mother is a virtuous wife,

your brother the greatest of demons—like Shambhu with his trident,

Kumbhakarna! Your brother’s son, conqueror of Indra!

Yet Father, do you show thieves the path to your own home?

Do you seat a chandala in the royal palace?

But I do not reproach you,
you are my elder,

like a father to me. Open the door, I shall go to the armory,

send this follower of Rama to the house of death,

and today I shall shatter Lanka’s shame in battle!”

Reflection: Five hundred sixty-four

……………………………………………………

27 June 2013

Everyone you know knows someone you
should know.

2 July 2013

My shoes are Japanese,

These trousers are English,

On my head a red Russian cap,

Yet still my heart is Indian.

Since morning, this song of Mukesh has been playing in my head. What wonderful, effortless acting by Raj Kapoor!
Why were the songs of that era so magnificent?
Friends, tell me the names of some Bengali and Hindi movies like ‘those kinds’
from that time. I’ll start……. Pushpak

And by the way, does anyone have such movies in their collection? I’d like to copy some.

yeh rat vigi vigi….

Sangam.

yeh waada raha

Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne…………

Guide

..tere mere swapna ek rang ho…

You could spend months just on Satyajit alone… but his ‘Agantuk’ is worth watching again and again, there’s the timeless ‘Abar Aranye’ (must see), Satyajit’s favorite story. Speaking of films worth watching from our Bangladesh, I’d mention ‘Palanka’—two masters Anwar Hossain and Utpal Dutt acting together in one film… And there’s Ghuddi, Dahan, Seemana Periye, and in our times definitely ‘Chaka’ (again and again), Tareque Masud’s films certainly. Obak Prithibi, Sade Chuattor, Bibaho Vibhrat, Shesh Anka, Gali Theke Rajpath, Sei Chokh, Sagarika, Bornali, Abhiman—do watch these.

When you watch ‘Boro Bhalo Lok,’ it feels like—oh, what a film it was!

Have you seen the film ‘Palanka’? If not, do watch it quickly. I have all of Satyajit’s books in my collection, haven’t read them yet; I have all his films too, haven’t watched them yet either. The Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne trilogy appeals to me greatly. The new Hindi movies don’t appeal as much, though among the recent ones, ‘Kahani’ is somewhat of an exception.

…….dunia banane wala kya tere
man mein samayi, kaheko dunia banayi tune

Pothe pothe khujte khujte mone mukta
pawa jaye.

Pather Panchali,
Apur Sansar,
Aranyar Din Ratri… Soumitra Chattopadhyay’s 2004 “Shadows of time” is a very beautiful film,
Ananda Ashram is wonderful. Raj Kapoor’s
“Mere Naam Joker” (every one of his films is amazing; I can’t remember the name of the film, but the song goes
‘Main kya karoon Ramu mujhe buddha mil gaya’—
watching that music video will make you laugh until your stomach hurts,
it’s also amazing),
Rajesh Khanna’s Aradhana, Anand,
Amar Prem,
Kati Patang. Dev Anand’s
“Hare Rama Hare Krishna,”
Amitabh Bachchan’s
“Kabhi Kabhie”—
the song ‘Kabhi kabhie mere dil mein khayal aata hai
ke jise tujhe banaya gaya hai mere hi liye’ is an incredibly beautiful song. If you have time, start watching them…

mother india

10 July 2013

People’s love makes me feel guilty.

I must stay at a safe distance from all those who are capable of love.

25 July 2013

The unsuccessful criticize the successful so wretchedly,
it seems as if the successful are to blame for their failures. The best way to succeed is to throw challenges at yourself. It takes real courage to hold yourself accountable. Without this honest courage, the drive to work doesn’t come.

1 August 2013

I’m spending these days that would have been better if they hadn’t been days of sadness…

Suchitra Sen. Just a name? No!
What a wonderfully tender feeling too! One could be slain by her gaze alone.

3 August 2013 ·

You’ve become lazy these days.

………. I was the same before too!
It’s just that you’re paying attention to me these days.

Because I always pay attention to you, I could tell you today—you’ve become lazy.

…….. How many other things I’ve become,
do you remember?

I smell romanticism!
Then you must be smell-blind!

……… Brother,
I used to know,
men say one thing, women understand another. Now I see the reverse happens too!

Urmi, if you weren’t alive, could you wish for death this way? It’s for your convenience that I remain alive.

3 August 2013 ·

I wrote correctly. They perhaps find not as much peace in death itself
as they do in wishing for death.

12 August 2013 ·

I want a wife exactly as beautiful as another man’s wife.

25 August 2013 ·

…….. My life too is a life! And it has philosophy as well!! I’m encouraged.

……. The time to say ‘it didn’t happen’
hasn’t come yet!

It’s taken from life,
that’s all.

All people in the world think more or less the same way. Some just put on a bit of airs,
that’s all!

30 August 2013

Others think, therefore I am.

9 September 2013

The war drums of the battlefield began to sound. Millions of foot soldiers, guards, cavalry rushed forth in frenzied rage. From the opposite direction millions of warriors also leaped into battle. War between one country and another, one nation against another. The novelist then climbs to the top of a minaret to record the entire scene. The king’s body draped in red velvet, the gleam of jewels and pearls in his crown, the general’s daring campaign, the soldiers’ battle cries—the novelist will not omit a single word of any of this. He will write down how many elephants, how many horses joined this war. Every minute detail, every description he will write out meticulously.

When the troops return home after victory, the novelist will follow them back as well. With conch shells and triumphant celebration, elderly women and maidens of the city will welcome them with joyous invitation. The novelist will write this too, describing those who broke into celebration behind the ululation. And then?

Then suddenly he will see the short story writer by the roadside, sitting in the shade of a tree with distant eyes. What kind of haughty writer is this?—the novelist will think to himself. Didn’t climb any minaret, didn’t witness the chronicles of war, didn’t join the procession—what kind of literary person is this?! Perhaps he will even say such things to the short story writer.

And then, with a very long sigh, the short story writer will look up and perhaps say: No, friend, I saw none of these things, I have nothing to see. I witnessed only one scene.

He will point toward some window across the street, where a woman’s anxious eyes have searched the entire procession thoroughly and failed, where a tear of disappointment has formed at the corner of her eye—someone didn’t return, someone didn’t come back.

The writer of short stories will see the entire war in that point of pain, in the trembling tears of the eye, and perhaps say, “Friend, my infinite ocean lies within that very teardrop.”

~ Ramapada Chaudhuri

10 September 2013

Beauty meets Beast.

23 September 2013

I don’t want to survive on pettiness; I want to live through sincerity.

10 October 2013 ·

Apes have become gentlemen not
changing their religion. The most prevailing religion in today’s world,
yesterday’s world, tomorrow’s world: OPPORTUNISM.

Yes, we all are opportunists no
matter whatever else we claim to be.

12 October 2013

So many, many waits in life……
This life will end in waiting, brother.

14 October 2013

The punishment for life’s uncommitted sins is far greater than the pain of regretting those uncommitted sins; death could never inflict even a quarter of that suffering. Vanquished in victory.

17 October 2013

I saw…….elder brother’s
achievements. House of lac. Forest of people. Castles in the air.

I see……..the honeycomb.

Thought: Five hundred sixty-five

……………………………………………………

19 October 2013

I have become
the most obedient student
of CUET and IBA. No one has ever utilized the grading system as successfully as I have. Hah! I’ve received every single grade that’s in circulation.
(Only, unfortunately, I’ve failed to get an F at IBA so far.)

Feeling alphabetically accomplished…….

………. What’s wrong in F, madam?
It’s a grade, after all. You’ve no right to neglect it.

……… Didn’t get it at IBA, friend,
I swear on sister-in-law!
IBA failed to evaluate me properly.

……. Nothing is deserved, dude.
Everything is earned. I earned many F’s.

……. Being strong enough to tell
about weak points without any regrets feels great, bhaiya.

There’s no such thing as the best place, brother. Every place is good.

……. I just saved my skin by sheer luck. Nothing more.

16 November 2013

Rashomon. Seven Samurai. Yojimbo. Ran. I watched these four works by Kurosawa. Flawless! Extraordinary!
Seeing the perfection and detailing in cinema, one understands
how much patience and labor, combined with compassion for the work and intellect, must converge before a masterpiece emerges. That’s why some achieve it;
the rest watch,
simply watch on. Being a spectator is always easier. In every field. I understood
where the connection lies between this man and our Satyajit’s deep friendship. Enchanting an audience is not easy. Keeping them enchanted is even harder! Hour after hour. Day after day. Keeping one’s eyes glued to the screen with the desire to see life through the lens of great filmmakers!
Understanding life’s simple truths so effortlessly! Yes,
this too happens!
One can imagine it!
Their achievement lies precisely here!
Those for whom living is nobler than birth,
death more noble still.

17 November 2013 ·

Happiness is…….watching a good
movie. What’s a good movie? Well, the movie that makes me feel like being with
it when I’m watching it. Good is a movie only as long as I’m liking it. Better
rewatch a good movie than watch a bad one. You’re never too late to watch a
good movie you might like. Better live a second and die than dream of living a
thousand years but die!! (Stop listening to stuffs like……. Not watched it
yet?! So late?! now watching Amélie.

20 November 2013

Yellow Spring. Madhukari. Sabinay Nibedan. For a Little Warmth. Chaprash. And Buddhadeb Guha. And I. And fondness. So very much fondness. And wandering through life’s nooks and crannies in whatever way one wishes, searching for life within life, walking through the writer’s imagined worlds and then truly returning to real life again. Yes, some days are just like this!

This is life! Still,
I should not have more fantasy than I can contain.

21 November 2013 ·

I am always a hardcore fan of your keen sense of humor.

Ah! Don’t let today belong to them! You too were part of this day!

This status has something about seeing through their eyes.

But I belong to the group of
successive failure.

Whether I’ll be alive a little longer—there’s no certainty of that,
so my small mind doesn’t entertain such grand thoughts. As long as I’m here,
I want to live with small joys. No one enters civil service planning to harm the country. Who doesn’t carry great responsibility? Everyone does, everyone serves the country! Each in their own way, no one understands their duty any less. This writing of mine, about the fondness of this beautiful moment today, is nothing more than that.

……….. Being alive never lets
you say finally you’re a failure.

…….. Those who are not civil servants face a primary problem: seeing one or two dishonest bureaucrats, they feel no discomfort whatsoever in happily assuming all are corrupt, and consider staying outside this civil service a sacred duty if they wish to advance the country.

……… I have always wanted to be a good person,
so what I’m thinking of as a good career hasn’t materialized!!
What strange self-satisfaction!! How crudely insulting to those who are in that career!!

……. Brother,
the successful are never incompetent. The unsuccessful may be more capable, yet the successful remain competent. My sincere best wishes for you.

Brother, the successful are certainly competent….the incompetent succeed due to systemic flaws…

…… When you want to be a part of
any system, you have only 2 options: OBEY OR LEAVE.

27 November 2013 ·

Watched The Disguise.

Watching Prisoner of Zenda.

Watch movies,
eat puffed rice.

28 November 2013 ·

Watched An Enemy of the People. Satyajit Ray’s film. The way the movie ended—is reality quite like that?
Or should we assume that while Ashok Gupta gave public sentiment the finger as much as he could, the director couldn’t go that far?
What a cruel defeat of the creator at the hands of his own creation!!

Doing good work isn’t bad, but understanding the acceptability of good work and then doing that good work is even better. You survive; if you survive, you can do more good work. Many more survive, many more can be saved.

Satyajit again!
Where else can I go! Now I’m with Branches of the Tree.

29 November 2013 ·

Fell in love with Satyajit’s Charulata!

30 November 2013 ·

Happiness is…….turning the music up full volume and dancing with the room’s doors and windows closed.:-D

How is it possible to do this in such a situation, little brother?
I see no joy in anything but sitting in solitude and praying for the country at this moment.

Life… is a tale…. Told by an
idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

……… This little brother of yours has another name—Nero. He is a person of extremely base instincts, crude intelligence, driven by pleasure-seeking sensuality. He is a parasite of this society. He has none of your nobility or patriotism. Please forgive your little brother.

Nero? Well said,
little brother. You gave quite a profound reply. I’m impressed!

……. There is no happiness, there
is no peace…… There is only LIFE.

3 December 2013 ·

….. They say, I look even cooler
when I’m hot.

………. You can never avoid
something if you’re already with it all around.

4 December 2013

I’m watching John Ford’s film, The Grapes of Wrath. This movie is based on the novel by Nobel Prize-winning novelist John Steinbeck. In making the film, the director has altered some elements of the story, but with a skilled hand; just as Satyajit Ray had done when making Pather Panchali. I can understand why filmmakers like Bergman, Fellini, Kurosawa, Hitchcock, Spielberg, Godard, Kubrick, and Satyajit Ray all considered Ford their master.

15 December 2013 ·

Sushanta Mukhopadhyay: Yes, I was saying that generally it’s observed that you perhaps refrain from speaking harsh truths about someone’s writing that could otherwise be said. You leave out one side. Why?

Sunil Gangopadhyay: That is because I generally don’t criticize anyone. Those who criticize me, I can’t speak ill of them either……. This is my character…….. When reading a book, I believe one should highlight the good aspects rather than the bad ones. However, if something strikes me as truly poor, I don’t praise it. It’s not as if I’ve praised any bad book. When something has both good and bad sides, I show the good side and don’t mention the bad.

Sushanta Mukhopadhyay: But surely one could expect that at least as a senior, you would help correct their flaws.

Sunil Gangopadhyay: I’m not a teacher, after all. Correcting flaws……

(Taken from the book ‘Kathabarta Sangraha’ – a collection of interviews with Sunil Gangopadhyay)

Thought: Five hundred sixty-six

……………………………………………………

19 December 2013 ·

Some of my favorite movies from other languages
(excluding Bengali-English-Hindi):

Life Is Beautiful

Bicycle Thieves

Amélie

Seven Samurai

Cinema Paradiso

Wild Strawberries

Yojimbo

The 400 Blows

Rashomon

Children of Heaven

City of God

La Haine

Breathless

La Strada

The Seventh Seal

The Lives of Others

Spirited Away

The Kite Runner

Bashu, the Little Stranger

Grave of the Fireflies

What about yours?

Life Is Beautiful

Bicycle Thieves

Amélie

Cinema Paradiso

Children of Heaven.

Separation….must see Iranian movie

downfall, oldboy

children of heaven, taste of cherry,
apple, Kandahar, before the rain, cinema paradise, life is beautiful, seven
samurai, rashomon, run, talk to her, vanilla sky (Spanish ver)… many many
more… can’t remember…

I remember now.
You can watch The Pianist. I saw it in German. I think it exists in several languages, though I’m not certain. But I found it deeply moving.

Life of Pi, Talash, Maghadheera,
Dipu No. 2, Amar Bondhu Rashed, Gulliver’s Travels, Thor, MI series etc.

Oldboy, New World, The Yellow Sea,
Memories of Murder, Vekas, The Secret in Their Eyes, The Berlin File, Run Lola
Run, Lives of Others, Infernal Affairs, Mongol: The Rise of Genghis Khan,
Miracle in cell no 7 and many more. U may try these

The count of monte christo, the
greatest game ever played, bicycle thief,rock, Indiana jones series.

Breathless,

the secret in their eyes,

color trilogy-red, white & blue,

Alexander Nevsky,

October (Ten Days that Shook the
World),

Battleship Potemkin,

Ivan’s Childhood,

Day for Night,

La DOlche Vita…

you can watch “The
Classic” and “Daisy”, those are nice Korean movies. Enjoy

Tristana,

Thorn of blood,

Le Petit Soldat,

Contempt,

Short film about love,

Short film about murder,

Stoning of Suriya M…

you can watch some movies of legend
satyajit roy. besides my favourite movies are babel, the prestige, inception,
the burning plane, forest gump, the last samurai, the illusionist, the pursuit
of happiness, cast away, stoning of soraiya and there are also many movies
those keep my soul alive but at this moment I cannot recall the name of those
movies!!!

A Moment to Remember, Sunflower, Two
Women, Downfall, Hachiko, Departures, Perfume—these come to mind for now. You might watch them if you haven’t seen them yet.

Korean romantic movies are awesome
such as windstruck, my sassy girl, a moment to remember etc.

Gone with the winds, Perfume, Grapes
of wrath, 300, Black Hawk down, The Heart locker s, The wolves of Iraq, Brave
Heart, Schinder’s List, Defiant, Django Unchained, Love in the time of Cholera,
Blood Diamond

Big Fish

Hugo

The town

A boy with stripe pyjama

A moment to remember

Bicycle thieves

Apocalipto

Perfume

God Must Be Crazy 1 and 2, Persona,
The Butterfly Effect, Wuthering Heights, Brokeback Mountain, The Unbearable
Lightness of Being……

Buddy we already shared b2in us what
we have. though I think I should add some…. Paris ja time, The River, the
girl with dragon tattoo, grave of the replies, jamon jamon, rehearsal, irreversible,
knowing, clover field, jumper, a curious case of benjamin button, perfume,
hachiko, in to the wild, apocalypto, prestige, shooter,agora,B13, forbidden
kingdom, shawshank redemption, limitless, ratatouille, blow, water lilies, bad
guy, tears of the sun, catch me if you can, behind enemy lines and so on……

The Motorcycle Diaries should be on the list, I think. Along with
A Very Long Engagement and Pan’s Labyrinth. Iran’s
Baran.

The godfather 1, godfather 2,
amelie, fight club, forrest gump.

24 December 2013 ·

: Brother,
you studied at CUET, didn’t you?

: Well, I mean……. Oh yes, I spent a few years at CUET.

(I ‘studied’ at CUET?! I can’t recall! Did I? I’m not sure!)

……. Then, I’m not a genius.
Geniuses are not assumed.

genius can’t judge himself as genius
But others can……..now as we…

…… No regrets, dada!
That too is a path. A wonderful path. I’m not worthy of it.

……. Corrected? Who knows, dada!
No right path, no wrong path…. only ‘path’, dada. How we accept or reject it,
matters.

26 December 2013

…….. Intense love or intense hatred,
both are terrible.

28 December 2013

Year-end shopping. The year-beginning shopping was for books,
I remember. The year has passed among books; buying almost
always, reading sometimes. The end is the same. Today’s books:

How Girls Are

Tales of Old Dhaka

Satyajit’s 101 Stories

Sukumar Complete Works

Samaresh Majumdar’s Complete Travel Writings
‘Wanderlust’

The Pole Star

Four Quarters

There Is No Golden Deer

Tomorrow You Are a Will-o’-the-Wisp

Chronicles of an Outcaste Life (Volume 1)

Gar Shrikhand

Pablo Neruda’s Book of Questions

Ranu and
Bhanu

The Young Men and Women

The Minds of Pakistani Generals: Bengalis, Bangladesh and
the Liberation War

On the Deep Lonely Road

Mallika Sengupta’s Complete Prose

Void

Rights of the Forest

On the Edge

Somewhere Else

On the Path of the Great Journey

Dipendranath Bandyopadhyay’s Complete Novels

Annada Shankar Ray’s Complete Travel Stories

Poetic Tales of the Wedding Day

I didn’t buy these out of joy—buying them made me joyful. When the thought of book-buying enters my head, I feel restless. I don’t like ending the year with unease.

29 December 2013

It wouldn’t be bad if winter vacation started in all offices. Waking up early in the morning and then falling asleep again early—such peace in all this!!
In this cold, one feels like going into hibernation! On winter mornings, gathering courage in one’s chest before the first splash of water during a bath—that’s no less than a victory in war! :-/

29 December 2013

Finding a girlfriend who gets happy when you give her books is truly a matter of fortune for any man. Why? Whether the beloved reads the books or not, it saves money from the pocket!
Keeping girls charmed and satisfied with so little expense is no small joy. Today I went to Batighore with just such a fortunate friend. His beloved’s birthday—he was going to give her books. And he bought them too. Two books. The first one: Chinese Cooking Made Easy. I understood that for now, not he but his future in-laws are the fortunate ones. (Having a wife who cooks well is a wonderful thing!) Then he bought Home Beauty Care. Now I understood that my friend is supremely fortunate. Being a fortunate man is a matter of great good luck. Both those books were chosen by his girlfriend for my friend. I felt envious of my friend’s good fortune. Many women save their husband’s money, but how many save their boyfriend’s money?

When you go to a bookstore, even the blind can see. Yesterday’s resolve was to finish the year’s last shopping yesterday itself. Yet the eyes won’t look away, the heart won’t listen. (It’s not my fault at all, it’s all theirs.)

A man who doesn’t hold his girlfriend’s hand even when she’s right there—what a brute! I’m no brute. A man who can’t suppress his desire to gently kiss those half-lips in a public place a little later—he’s downright barbarous! I’m no barbarian either. Therefore, I bought, I purchased them. Purchased whom? These neuter-gendered ancient beloveds, these faithful mute companions—what end is there to their mysteries? I bought with my coins:

God Earth Love

Mrinal Sen’s Autobiography The Third World

Sunflower

Mira’s Afternoon

Twelve Rooms, One Courtyard

Ashok Mitra’s Essay Collection

Italian Renaissance, Bengali Culture

Sandipon’s Complete Prose (2 volumes)

Uncle Singh’s Mahabharata (I mean, Kaliprasanna Singha’s translated Mahabharata) (2 volumes)

Alone and a Few Others

Prince Dara Shukoh (2 volumes)

Kubera’s Affairs and Assets

The Magician

Dust and Sandalwood

Shahidul Zahir Complete Works

Actually, in book-buying and politics, there’s no such thing as a final word.

Thought: Five hundred and sixty-seven

……………………………………………………

30 December 2013 ·

Friends, what was your best movie this year? Best book you read (excluding Facebook)? Best song you heard?

Movie: Africa United. Book: 2 States. Song: Ami je jolsha ghore (Manna Dey)

New World (Korean), Now You See Me (English), Madras Cafe (Hindi), Proloy (Bengali).

“Guerrilla”…bangla movie.

Coffee house…. Manna Dey.

1. the curious case of Benjamin button,2. allan and the holy flower 3.Lorde-royals

Let me say one each 1. Film-the journey/Fernando Solanas 2.Book-odhir biswaser kishor sahityo somogro ‘urojahaj’ (4 volumes) 3. Song- the songs from Songs of Water.

Song: Procession-Shironamhin Truth-Warfaze

Movie: LOVE LIKES COINCIDENTS The Twenty-Second of Shravan

Movie-Stalingrad [German film]…..Books:-My Side[david beckham],The Bourne Identity…..Song:-Bedona modhur hoye jai……

Mv: The Lone Ranger

Best movie Life of Pi Movie, best song that touched me is Katy Perry’s Roar sung by Olivia Wise and best book Eat, Pray, Love….

movie- proloy(bangla),a walk to remember(eng)

book: subbrata tar somporkito
susomacar-humayun azad

song: tum hi ho(arijit)

I’m currently reading Apu’s entire household saga, having already read up to Aparajito. Still, I started from Pather Panchali. Now, having finished Aparajito, I’m reading Kajal. This feels like the finest work to me now. When I close my eyes, I can envision Nishchindipur.

Ash Movie: Tanglet, Book: Days of ’71,
Song: Are you still the same as before?

Best movie
: Pratidwandi (1970). Satyajit babu’s work based on Sunil’s story

Best book
: Durbin – Shirshendu babu.

Best song
: Main Shair To Nain- Bobby(1973) – Shailendra
Singh.

I don’t really watch movies…
Among books, I’ve read Bimal Mitra’s Begum Mary Biswas and Jaler Gaan quite extensively

movie: ai jawani he dewani

book: The Death of a salesman

Best movie:
Captain Phillips

Best song:
Karunesh (instrumental) – Buddhabar III dream

Best book:
Parthib- Shirshendu

Book: Kacher Manush, Suchitra Bhattacharya

Song: Song of Deep Waters
“If only it could be that I were like a bird…”

movie : last samurai…….book:
pother pachali

Movie: Roman Holiday, Sound of
music. Bangla: Datta vs Datta, Hemlock society Book: Sigmund Fraud er
Civilization and its discontent.

Movie- English: Now You See Me,
August Rush, The Return (2003-Russian movie)

Bangla: Proloy, Hemlock Society.

Hindi: Bhag Milkha Bhag

book: witness to
surrender………… Movie: guerilla, the magnificent seven ……song: none

daisy (korean)

song: ai to ami chai (hemloc
society)

book: no one writes to cornel

Life of pie…….

Barfi

Books: The Puppet’s Tale, Jogajog,
The Godfather, Download.

Movies: Bengali-Dahan,
Asukh, Goynar Baksha.
ENG-Green Mile, Pretty Woman, August Rush, The Notebook. HIN- Raanjhanaa, Bhaag Milkha
Bhaag. Songs: I’ll find you anew, ajeeb dustein… many more.

Movie: Olympus Has Fallen

Song: Yo Yo Honey Singh Blue Eyes

Movie- It’s a wonderful life (1946)

Kuheli(movie)

Invictus (2009)

Movie- The Artist (2011), Book – Chander Pahar, Song-Rabindrasangeet