Reflection: Three Hundred Fifty-Eight
………………………………………
One. No one is truly busy.
It’s all about priority! So, before expecting, think twice, why you should
expect.
There’s no time?
That’s not it. Time exists,
but why should you get it?
Someone used to give you time before,
but doesn’t anymore?
Think about it—why did they give it before?
Someone never gave you time before, but does now? Think about it—
why do they give it now?
I must have their time, I simply must! Does this thought arise?
Stop expecting, kid! You’re thinking this way. What are they thinking? What
are they really thinking? No one will take responsibility for your thoughts, I’m telling you the truth—no one! Keep the responsibility for your own happiness on your own shoulders!
You’ll be much better off that way!
Learn to be alone, learn to walk alone,
learn to die alone. You’ll see,
you’re doing wonderfully. Don’t expect anything at all, absolutely nothing. Even if you get the smallest thing, it will seem wonderful!
Don’t think at all about what others are doing, how they are. Stay content with your own life! You’re nobody to decide how someone else’s life should be!
Believe me,
no one in this world is making mistakes. If you think that way, then you are the one making mistakes. It rains where you are, it doesn’t rain where I am. You’ll say rain is good. I’ll say it’s not bad without rain either. What need is there for you to comment on mine?
Stay with your own! Everyone in this world finds their own way to be well, learns to be well in their own manner.
Two. In life, to fail successfully is an art. Life did not come
to us with a user-manual. So, it’s our right to use and abuse it. When we
refuse to take things as they are, things refuse to take us as we are. You
might think, you are special, you are not everyone. Fact is, everyone is
everyone. Our life is measured only by the people who measure theirs by us.
Sometimes, leaving is living. Life is like a small glass jar. You can never
have everything into it and have it at the same time. Death counts not the years
you survive, but the years you really live.
Three. Stop overthinking. “If you’re going through hell, keep
going.” Que sera sera — Whatever was, was; whatever is, is; whatever will be,
will be. What will happen, will happen.
Life didn’t come to us with a user-manual. So, it’s our right to use and to
abuse it! Sometimes, failures are just too good! To fail successfully is an
art. Deciding what you really want matters. Our problem is, we don’t know what
we want. It took me almost 2 decades to decide what I really want. When I’d
decided finally, it took me only a few months to get what I really want.
Four. . . . . . . . It
is not easy to leave one’s mark upon this world. It requires patience,
it demands resolve. Success cannot be achieved through laughter and games. For success, one must battle failure at every moment. If you do not shrink from struggling to carve out your own place,
if you can create an example of yourself before others, and if you know how to persist without surrendering no matter what obstacles arise, then I can say with certainty
that not only will you succeed, but seeing you, many others will learn to succeed as well.
Five. I listened to ‘Khnopar Oi Golap Diye’
in Shibaji Chattopadhyay’s voice. Written by Pulak Bandyopadhyay. Ah,
if only we had a Pulak Bandyopadhyay!
Six. I was quite in my own rhythm…….how exquisite! How beautiful these words are!
Seven. In Amrik Singh Arora’s enchanting voice, ‘Ruposhi Dohai Tomar!’ Ah!
This is one of father’s favorite songs. After so many years, the song suddenly rang in my head today! Ah,
so many friends are lost,
only a song never gets lost. Though time traverses much distance, the melody remains intact in some mysterious chamber of the heart.
Eight. In the movie ‘Scent of a Woman’
Al Pacino is dancing with a girl. Playing is
‘Dance Me to the End of Love.’ The deep-voiced singer’s name is Leonard Cohen. These words from this song are very dear: Oh let me see your beauty when the
witnesses are gone/ Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon/ Show me
slowly what I only know the limits of/ Oh dance me to the end of love/ Dance me
to the end of love. Ah!
Nine. Suchitra Sen singing herself………..who will come to the invitation of new songs?……..not in the forest today, but in the heart it seems.
The first one is especially dear to me.
Ten. Flaer Smin – Alone In The Dark
(Truly)
turn off the room lights and listen. You’ll feel that even blood sometimes trembles!
Eleven. In Lata’s magic, ‘Jana Tha Hamse Door Bahane Bana Liye.’ What an exquisite river of magic!!
Twelve. When God floats in melody in feminine form,
then songs like ‘Atardani’
are born………ah, such a beloved song! Chitra Singh, I love you!
Thirteen. ‘Hamko Dushman Ki Nigahon!’ What magic! What enchantment! Such songs exist too!
A song that brings such peace to the mind!
Chitra Singh—half human,
half divine!
Our great misfortune is that after her son’s death, she never sang again.
Fourteen. Don’t speak carelessly about anyone without knowing or understanding them. This will push those close to you away. Even in a mirror, no one’s face lingers for very long. When walking with someone great, maintain distance—if the river holds onto its ego, it never experiences the joy of merging with the sea.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Ah, what sweet truths these are!
How many complex philosophies of life are expressed so simply in ghazals!
I’m listening to Jagjit’s voice: Parakhna mat parakhne mein koi apna
nahin rahta.
Fifteen. In Kajal Chandiramani’s voice:
Woh Humsafar Tha Magar
Meaning of the song: The day our paths diverged by our own consent, that day you didn’t weep,
nor did I. Yet beloved, what is this today—tell me;
you cannot sleep peacefully, neither can I!
…………. How sublime!
Among those whose hearts were torn by the horrors of the 1971 Liberation War was Pakistani poet Nasir Turabi. He created this immortal song. This ghazal is a lament for the infinite sorrow through which Bangladesh was born.
(The ghazal exists in Abida Parveen’s voice too, but Kajal Chandiramani has moved me more.)
Thought: Three Hundred Sixty-one
………………………………………
One. Deeply moving songs intoxicate me. One such song is
garaj baras pyasi dharti. When I hear such songs,
I keep thinking—rain doesn’t fall to create such songs;
such songs come, and so the rain falls. When I float in such melodies, I feel
that staying alive is the greatest prayer of all! Written by Nida Fazli. These people aren’t human—they’re godlike! Jagjit, I love you deeply. Stay well.
Two. From Gulzar’s
‘Mirza Ghalib’
movie, the song aah ko chahiye! ……………An entire lifetime can be spent searching for true love! Ah…..!
An entire lifetime could be spent just reading the lines of this song!
It can be written like this too!!!
Three. From the movie ‘Pinjar,’ the song Haath Chhute Bhi. Ah,
after how many days I heard it!
What silken threads Jagjit keeps weaving in the mind!
Four. In Jagjit’s voice, from the movie Arth, the song Koi Yeh Kaise Bataye. A very beloved ghazal! This melody is stronger than liquor!
Five. Shall I share 10 pieces of love,
how about that?
In Farida Khanum’s voice: aaj jaane ki zid na karo
In Nayyara Noor’s voice: aaye jazb-e-dil gher mein chahu
In Asrar’s voice: tere ishk ki inteha chahta hu
In Ali Zafar’s voice: koi ummid bar nahin aati
In Suraiya’s voice: ye na thi hamari qismat
In Anita Singhvi’s voice: rang pairahan ka khushbu zulf rehrane ka naam
In Asif Mehdi’s voice: suna hai log usse aankh
In Habib Wali Muhammad’s voice: marne ki duaye kiyun mango
Ahmed Jahanzeb’s voice singing “Aap Ki Yaad Aati Rahi Raat Bhar”
Fauzia Arshi’s voice singing “Hasti Apni Hubab Kisi Hai”
These two days I’ve been immersed in ghazals. How sweet, how divine! (Among the ten ghazals above, which ones have you heard before, apart from the first?)
Six. If Brazil loses, Argentina wins.
Brazil should lose today!
Let’s see!
This defeat was Brazil’s due. Congratulations,
Belgium!
Seven. We were never such a civilized society, we aren’t now, and we never will be. Therefore, our country will never become as developed as Japan.
Eight. They played, we saw, we won. We played, they saw, we won. There will always be a qualitative difference between these two!
Natural. Dear Brazil in the quarter-finals. As always—playing their own game! Congratulations. Love. Best wishes.
Nine. Those who play and win,
they have the habit of winning through play,
wouldn’t you say?
Ten. Today’s Neymar—less acting, the opposition’s nemesis! Bravo,
Brazil!
Eleven. Rafi’s voice singing “Chaudhvin Ka Chand Ho”… ah, how sweet!
Utterly enchanting!
Don’t fall asleep, beloved. The night’s youth hasn’t ended yet!
Twelve. So many suns so late at night!!
Brothers, don’t rush so much. Everyone will get a chance to score against Argentina. Stand in line one by one,
be patient!!
Congratulations to Argentina for reaching the second round!!
Congratulations to France for reaching the quarter-finals!!
Thank you to Argentina’s supporters for taking the patience test. Please come again.
Ricky Martin’s Cup of Life! The song
that still awakens up!!
Thirteen. What good is falling down before even starting? Kidding apart, good luck, Argentina!!
Fourteen. If you want to become rich, learn business. If you want to become poor, learn to read and write.
Fifteen. Some advance by playing,
some advance by mathematics! Some win and
are called winners,
some win because someone else lost. Both are beautiful. Victory itself is always beautiful! Why worry about the path, winning is what matters most,
losing brings shame, shame!
It’s a game! Nachiketa’s song. Just came to mind. May all beings in the world be happy, may they find prosperity. Thank you. Please come again.
Sixteen. Champions walk on their own feet—just like this!!!!
Seventeen. There are nearly seven and a half billion people on this earth. Yet search as you might, you won’t find a single one who wants you, loves you, in the way you are. Everyone knows how to love in their own way, not in the way of the one they’re loving. And if you do happen to find someone who wants you, loves you, exactly as you are, you’ll discover that somehow you can never have them for life. They belong to someone else, and you to someone else. You must accept this paradox and spend your entire life living with this sorrow. There’s nothing to be done about it. To find someone who accepts even your worst qualities and allows your best to flourish further—this is a matter of great fortune. Such people are rarely found. So we must artfully hide our worst selves and bring forward our best, living our entire lives in skillful performance. People prefer to live by believing the lies they hear. The dwelling place of such harmless lies is called domestic life.
Eighteen. Those who say mental suffering is more intense than physical pain have obviously never been beaten up. Seriously!
Nineteen. The greater one’s capacity to bear infinite sorrow and contempt, the greater one’s power to truly experience life. Blessing lies in the blow! Before wearing a crown upon your head, you must know how to let yourself be mixed with dust. For one who fears no thorns, the rose fits perfectly in hand!
Twenty. For whom you’ve never had to diminish yourself before anyone—never ask them to diminish themselves before anyone for you, unless you have pure love and respect for them.
Twenty-one. When most women talk about their various problems, they don’t want any solutions; they simply want someone to patiently listen to everything they have to say. So though they claim to love wise men, they actually love some clever fool who may or may not have anything in his head, but has infinite patience for listening and time to give.
Twenty-two. My sorrow is not that you don’t love me; I know you love me.
My sorrow is rather this: you don’t understand my love; you don’t even know that I love you.
The one who displays love, you draw close,
The one who truly loves, you take for a fool!
Woman, you have learned only to see love, alas, you haven’t learned to feel it! Therefore, being deceived is your birthright and destiny.
When it comes to understanding love, all the women in the world are teenagers!
Twenty-three. The one I’d willingly die for—ah, they’re the very one who kills me!
The one for whom I refuse to live—they’re the one who keeps me alive!
The bird caged and captive never wins the heart,
The bird that took flight—for them the soul dies apart!
Searching for the afterlife, we cheat this very life,
Circled Kaaba in vain—the prayer itself remains to strive!
Life, why are you like this?
Twenty-four. Humein Aur Jeene Ki Chahat Ah!
What a song!
What a melody!
What a voice!
When I wake up in the middle of the night wanting to listen to music, suddenly it strikes me………
Life is so beautiful, brother!
Twenty-five. The fathers of boys from lower-middle-class and middle-class families grow old at some point, and then life’s necessities force these boys to stand on their own feet. The fathers of boys from upper-class families never seem to grow old,
so these boys never need to stand on their own feet for any reason whatsoever.
Son, your father is getting old,
you’ll have to take charge of the household,
do something. ……… A boy who never has to hear such words from his mother’s lips
is greatly unburdened,
greatly fortunate; therefore,
often…….greatly
worthless.
Thought: Three hundred sixty
………………………………………
One. When you vent your anger at your ex by writing various things and posting them on Facebook,
your ex reads your post with a cup of coffee in hand,
a victor’s diabolical smile blooms at the corner of their lips,
and a contemptuous satisfaction automatically wells up toward you……..…. Yesssssssss!!! You still
cry for me! I’m that much adorable!! You still miss me, you can’t live without
me, you life is like Hell! I win, loser!!!
You keep crying and keep making them win. Does this make any sense?!
Completely ridiculous!!!
Two. Seeing all this makes my head spin. If I were alone,
with no strings attached,
I would have long since set out to roam the world! I really would have! Bonds only take away— freedom,
joy, peace! I came to such a beautiful world,
and I’ll just die without seeing its beauty!
Does this make any sense?
Three. Become vast. To become so, there must be something within you, otherwise it cannot happen. Life may pass by in pretense, but life is not built that way. Everyone is born an ant. What then? The attempt to become vast! Continuously. In this process, the more one cheats, the greater one’s risk. Very few keep themselves busy with real work, most with… meaningless tasks. There’s a great difference in the nature and structure of great people’s work and small people’s work! What the small-minded take pride in, the great perhaps don’t even consider worthy of attention! What happens then? Most go from being ants to becoming goats, a select few become elephants. What next? The herd of goats follows behind the elephant. The elephant doesn’t have time to look down so low. It was born to live as an elephant! The goat follows the elephant and rises in status, the elephant follows itself and rises in essence! Now the question is, can elephants always manage to live as such elephants? Always? No, they cannot. Sometimes overzealous herds of goats drag them down to the ground, and seeing the elephant fall, they all celebrate. They wave their horns, jump and shout! Give applause—the goats’ applause! They don’t understand that even when an elephant falls to the ground, it remains higher than a goat; even when felled, a goat cannot become equal to an elephant. How would they understand? The goats don’t even know about the elephant’s height! Where the goat’s vision ends, the elephant’s vision begins! The joy of living as an elephant can only be found by living as an elephant, not by dancing as a goat! The heavier one’s weight, the less one jumps. The manner of jumping reveals one’s build. At day’s end, an elephant remains an elephant, and a goat remains a goat.
Four. A man’s life has two stages:
The first: when you must know the price before deciding to buy something.
The second: when you can learn the price after deciding to buy something.
Five. Every morning at the Rajshahi Tourism Motel, they play Rabindra Sangeet, Nazrul Geeti, songs by Dwijendra, Atulprasad’s songs, Rajanikanta’s songs, and modern songs. What a wonderful thing! How beautiful it feels! Thanks to the authorities for such a decision. Others could follow this example too. Let the day begin with melody.
Six. Don’t respect anyone. Don’t hate anyone. Take everyone as they are. If you can’t, it’s your problem, not theirs. They are what they are, not what you think. Learn to accept it. Your respect can’t save anyone, your hatred can’t destroy anyone. Take them or leave them. That’s all.
Seven. You don’t need to show everyone the stairs, you don’t need to show everyone the path. Humans are deeply ungrateful creatures. The one who shows the stairs, who shows the path—that’s the first person humans kick! History tells us this.
Now the question is: what I do, why do I do it?
There’s only one answer:
I do it because I enjoy doing it. The notion that the work is noble has never motivated me toward any task, ever. If that were the case, I would have stood beside the hungry and the unfortunate. But do I really stand by them that much? Not at all! It’s not that I never stand by them, but compared to my capacity, it’s far too little. For me, the motivation for work isn’t nobility, isn’t money, isn’t humanity… it’s simply joy. Any work that doesn’t bring me joy, no matter how noble it may be, I don’t do.
Is there nothing I do regardless of whether I enjoy it or not? Yes, there is—my job. Because it’s necessary. It’s tied to the question of my existence and my family’s. To seek joy behind what must be done is foolishness. People don’t take medicine because they enjoy it—they take medicine because they must, to survive. Surviving is more urgent than living joyfully.
Eight. Rather, be wounded, be bloodied.
Let them become more savage still; learn to endure savagery.
Know this: humans are fundamentally hypocritical, barbarous, and despicable. Don’t believe it? Learn from history.
Turn around and fight back, even if it exhausts all your strength. Don’t let yourself be finished—if you’re finished, so many others win!
Everyone has turned against you? Of course they have! None of them has the strength to stand against you alone! The strong fight alone against one, the weak band together. Enjoy it!
Defeat them! Show them that your solitary strength exceeds their combined force. Make yourself unstoppable. Those who turn around and fight back have double the strength. Make them understand that defeating you isn’t easy.
Some must grow by inflicting wounds. Some must grow by being wounded. Time itself reveals who has the greater strength!
The cheap find joy cheaply, the precious find it expensively. Love what’s precious, and the precious will love you back. Leave small tasks for small people; let them always win. Small people find joy in winning small battles.
You were on the stage. They couldn’t bear it. They wanted to seize the stage, so they removed you. For a long time.
You weren’t there. The stage remained empty. Seizing the stage isn’t easy. It requires tremendous willpower, power, capability. They have none of these. Proven!
Come back. The stage is yours! Tremble! Make them tremble!
Nine. I heard Manikya Malaraya Poovi. Seeing the dance in that girl’s eyes, struck by both a crush and a shock, I became completely twisted and gave birth to a little poem:
That girl’s dancing eyes,
What trembling they caught in my chest!
She wouldn’t let herself be caught,
Yet I fell in love,
No relation,
Just confusion,
Oh foolish heart,
It heeds no prohibition,
Played the fool,
became the bent……….why this
deception!
What remedy is there……….. so……..I simply watch………
Reflection: Three Hundred Sixty-One
………………………………………
One. Then,
upon whom is Saraswati pleased?
Quite a question!
Let me give you the answer in a roundabout way, understand it well.
Excess in the name of worship, estrangement from books,
scrambling for deceptions—
you devotees who take enthusiastic pleasure in such things hastily,
know this for certain,
the Goddess of Learning has always been displeased by such goat-like prancing!
(Many people keep asking……
Brother, when are you coming to the book fair?
I say,
it’s not certain. I might not come, I didn’t come last time either.
The reply comes…….
You won’t come? But you should! You talk so much about books,
and you won’t come to the book fair?
Et cetera, et cetera!
I’ll speak plainly,
must one come to the book fair? But why? In this world there’s nothing called right or wrong. What exists is: what happens, what doesn’t happen. Last time, without coming to the book fair, I bought nearly four hundred books online. How many did you buy?
I don’t live in Dhaka, so even if I wanted to, I couldn’t come. I have to buy many books,
so I can’t buy so many books in one visit to the fair, I’d have to come several times,
which isn’t possible. The calculation is simple. Unemployment is sometimes sweet.)
P.S. Worship of the Goddess of Learning happens not in the pavilion, but at the reading table. I speak from experience. Happy Saraswati Puja!
P.P.S. Come, let us cultivate books alongside cultivating goats.
Two. Whoever gets whomever,
doesn’t see them as beautiful.
Three. Often,
the less you have,
the more you show.
Four. I heard Nazrul’s song ‘Amar Nayone Nayon Rakhi’ in Shabnam Mushtari’s voice. Ah,
how exquisite!!
Five. To work is to endure.
Six. When novels are made into films, it doesn’t always spell disaster for the novel—a wonderful example being Banaphul’s novel ‘Agnishwar’ and its film adaptation
‘Agnishwar’—in my view
one of Uttam Kumar’s top five movies. I watched this film while staying in Kurigram. When the song ‘Tabu Mone Rekho’
was playing in the background, I wept like a child, uncontrollably. I can’t remember when such lament had last stirred in my chest. The unbearable resemblance between myself and that naive doctor’s character was deeply painful;
perhaps because guilt is humanity’s purest emotion.
If old love gets covered by the net of new love.
If I remain close by,
though you cannot see me, like a shadow I am here, I am not—
still, remember me.
………….Such longing and anguish force the mind to bear immense pressure. Someone seems to come to the window of my mind and render me helpless, making me question……yet why?……….
Rabindranath has always been unbearable—in joy,
in sorrow!
Seven. Ye Mat Kaho Khuda Se………… What a sublime song!
It keeps playing within my chest!
Eight. During my wedding, I invited many people to the feast. In my good times, how many people were around me!
Yes, people always surrounded me— until I fell into trouble.
During my time of crisis, apart from the 4 members of my family, I found only a handful of 6-7 people by my side. No one else stood with me. Yes,
while many couldn’t extend a helping hand, they did extend their feet—to kick me and push me into even deeper trouble.
Such is life,
at least life as lived in Bangladesh!
It was for the best. I came to know people. And along with that, life too!
Neither praise nor criticism touches me now as it once did. Most people are despicable. Though late in learning, I have finally mastered the art of distrusting people. Long live distrust.
Those who stood by me, I will remember them until my death. Even at the cost of my own happiness, I will wish for theirs. When I had nothing, they were beside me. After my death,
when I will not be able to see who stands by me and who doesn’t, they will still be there. Surely they will be.
My previous account had 2.5
lakh followers. 0.01% of that
would be 25. During my crisis, not even 0.01% of my followers
stood by me.
Understand now,
when someone says, Brother,
I am a huge fan of yours,
the real meaning is,
they are actually fans of themselves—meaning,
they are my fan for some personal gain or other.
A hearty hahaha reaction emerges from my heart!!!
May everyone be well.
Nine. My 10-year Challenge Status:
2009: I dreamt of seeing myself well
established.
2019: I am much better established
than what I dreamt of.
Thanks, God!
Life is a challenge. Win it or blame
it.
Ten. I read an article about Shah Abdul Karim. The life story of an extraordinary man. Truly, greatness requires simplicity, along with a touch of madness—in the eyes of ordinary people.
One paragraph of the writing depicts our national ignorance and ingratitude…….
……………. He suffered most when he saw that because he played music, people could not be found to attend Sarala’s funeral. The imam of the village mosque said, what funeral for a baul’s wife anyway,
there’s no need to perform funeral prayers for a baul’s wife.
Sunamganj—one of the most beautiful places I have seen. Truly magnificent!
If I were asked,
apart from your own district, where would you want to spend the rest of your life, I would say without hesitation—
In Sunamganj.
Eleven. To earn anything in the world, first you have to learn to
respect 2 things:
The thing you want to earn
The persons who have already earned
it
Twelve. We mistake the trees in our neighbor’s garden for weeds, and the weeds in our own garden for trees.
Thirteen. Both arrogance and modesty must be carried with grace; otherwise they appear unseemly. Just as arrogance doesn’t suit everyone, many people’s modesty strikes one as mere hypocrisy. If I try to carry what I cannot bear, I’ll have to walk with a hunched back—it will look terrible. Only natural.
Fourteen. “You are my mother” in the voices of Sandhya Mukhopadhyay and Shrabanti Majumdar. Such a beloved song… it must touch daughters and daughters’ mothers!
Fifteen. A rich father-in-law’s son-in-law’s wife is more arrogant than a rich father-in-law’s daughter-in-law’s husband.
Sixteen. Some lessons 2018 taught me:
1. You have to fight and win/lose
your fight alone.
2. Helpless people are recklessly
selfish by nature.
3. The weak always hate the strong.
4. You need to remember only the
people who stand by you during your bad days.
5. When you are in danger, you will
never get help from the expected people.
6. Success has many fathers, failure
is an orphan.
7. Inferior people love to see
superior people be in danger.
8. People who talk much are usually
the people who can do less.
9. Never take anyone for granted
even if they are a part of your family.
10. People who are really powerful,
never show their power.
11. Most of the people give you the
advice you don’t need.
12. Expect nothing free as there is
always a deal—expressed or hidden.
13. Almost all the praises and
criticisms you get are just rubbish.
14. You never need to give space and
time to everyone.
15. Jealous people can never be
high-achievers.
16. If you’re suffering, only you
know the pain.
17. People for whom you’re giving
everything of your life, will misunderstand you the most.
18. Being ordinary is a choice, so
is being extraordinary.
19. The more you give attention to
the unnecessary things, the more you become an unnecessary man.
20. If you want to succeed, first
learn to believe that successful people know more than you about the path to
success.
21. The more you think about the
dark sides of the great people, the more you become a part of their dark sides,
not of their greatness.
Happy New Year!!
Thought: Three Hundred Sixty-Two
………………………………………
One. Dear brothers and sisters of society, instead of sending all these lifeless Happy New Year messages to our inboxes, couldn’t you send a bunch of fresh bananas instead!
Two. Two boys can share the same room from first year of university through their master’s without much trouble, but two girls will change rooms at least three times during this period.
Three. People must be left behind; people can remain left behind.
Four. To speak or ask someone about their personal matters—which you learned from someone else and which they clearly chose not to tell you themselves—reveals a lack of character.
Five. Every successful person has a glorious present.
Every unsuccessful person has a
glorious past.
Six. A hundred donkeys die to make one big brother.
Seven. In work and in life, rewards for good deeds come from the Creator. On the other hand, punishment for bad deeds is always immediate.
Eight. Someone who stands by the helpless all their life finds no one useful among those they helped when they themselves become helpless. The truly useful one or two they do find are people they never stood by. Perhaps this is nature’s reward!
Nine. When you marry for love, the first task is to prove yourself important. That way everyone will be forced to accept your wife. Otherwise, you’ll have to live as unaccepted in everyone’s eyes—not just your wife, but yourself too.
Ten. The immature don’t know how to hide their sorrows—they blurt them out impulsively.
Eleven. Wife—a man’s destiny!
Husband—a woman’s destiny!
Society—destiny’s helpless spectator!
Twelve. “When you smiled”—a song from the movie ‘Parallel.’ What a song! A flock of heart-touching words in melodic imagery!
Those interested can quickly watch the movie too. You’ll enjoy it.
Statutory warning: This movie contains nothing that will appear in BCS exams.
Thirteen. A person whom no one wants—where does such a person build their home?
I’m watching ‘Parallel.’ Enjoying it!!
Fourteen. Why do you see beauty in one
who sees no beauty in you? Why seek heaven in the eyes
of one who cannot fathom yours?
Fifteen. A person can more easily accept their own humiliation than bear the humiliation of someone they love.
Sixteen. One who truly loves mangoes won’t mind a blemish or two on the fruit.
Seventeen. Why do you ask so much of one
who has never given you anything? Just because you’re Bengali?
Eighteen. Those two-bit goats who put on two-lakh airs
remain two-bit goats in the end.
Nineteen. ‘Recall’ band’s
‘Etota Bhalobashi’!
Ah, what pure, living love!!!
Twenty. Both busyness and idleness
are bad habits.
Twenty-one. Most women fall under the spell of two things:
gold and words
Twenty-two. In a country where you need connections even for basic services,
you’d have to be quite the fool to dream big dreams.
Twenty-three. I remember today from some distant life. Nazrul songs in Kamal Dasgupta’s melody. Ah,
how those words pierce straight to the soul!
Twenty-four. Never judge her mind seeing her dress.
Never judge his dress seeing his
mind.
Twenty-five. Come, traveler of autumn dawn. What a sweet song! It touches!
It moves!! It binds!!!
Twenty-six. People want freedom from poverty,
but they don’t want freedom from the things that keep them poor.
Twenty-seven. It’s more useful to maintain relationships with those who hold me in high regard
than with those whom I hold in high regard.
Twenty-eight. In my opinion, after one’s health, three things need the most careful tending:
Relationships
Money
Livelihood
What do you think?
Twenty-nine. The more your selfies, the less your self!
Thirty. Mental sex is sexier than physical sex.
Thirty-one. One can become good alone,
but one cannot become corrupt alone.
Thirty-two. Look at the employees in sari shops. Think how many women they have to endure! And here we are, unable to tolerate even one!
Thirty-three. I want the people close to me to be well. Even if someone among them treats me badly and finds happiness in it, I’m willing to accept that with a smile. I’ll silently swallow my pain, but let them be well.
Thirty-four. Love—a nightmare disguised as a dream!
Thirty-five. Rain fell, falls,
will fall.
The desire to see rain in someone’s eyes existed,
exists, will exist.
Such eyes existed too, exist,
will continue to exist.
Only the eyes to see rain didn’t exist, don’t exist,
never will.
Such songs stir such profound regret!
Since morning, this song has been making tears fall even in such sunlight!!
…………Oh dear,
that song from the movie Manzil,
Rim Zhim Gire Sawan!
Thirty-six. For one who has never had to hang from a bus,
it’s difficult to earn the means to buy a bus.
Thirty-seven. People criticize you? Well, it means, you’re important.
If you’re not important, people will
never criticize you.
Let them criticize, meanwhile, let
yourself be more important.
Thirty-eight. When in power for two or three days,
everyone honors the one who speaks,
They’ll abandon that speaker,
when an eternal speaker arrives.
…….How these song lyrics spread such peace through body and mind.
Pannalal—through father’s grace, one of our most beloved friends from childhood. Accept my salutations.
Thirty-nine. Hallelujah – Pentatonix ………. when the heart rises into the voice!
Forty. Try watching a dawn clinging to the mountainside. Stay awake on the mountain through the night. Watch vigilantly and you’ll understand why the mountain flute’s melody is different from all others. What whispered conversations flow from leaf to leaf throughout the night—you’ll never find that knowledge in any book. Why a mountain river is unlike any other river—to know that, you must go to the mountains yourself. The intoxication that comes from wild flowers’ fragrance—where would that come from in potted, arranged flowers? That the same sun has so many different colors—you’ll have to hide small against the mountain’s body to see that for yourself. Dawn will come,
the mountain will wake,
and you yourself will realize how terribly difficult it is to remain melancholy!
Forty-one. In the voices of Yesudas and Hemlata: “Jab deep jale aana, jab shaam dhale aana.” The great creator of this song, Ravindra Jain, was blind. He once said,
if I ever regained my sight,
the first person I’d want to see would be Yesudas.
Salutations, Yesudas! How fortunate we are
to have grown up with your melodies!
Forty-two. Our nightingale Runa’s magic in the words of beloved lyricist Abu Hena Mostafa Kamal. Listening to “Onek brishti jhore tumi ele.”
Forty-three. George Benson and Roberta Flack’s
“You Are The Love Of My Life”……… sublime
song!!
There’s a Bengali song by Asha Bhosle to this tune. Can you tell me
which one?
Forty-four. Never shake hands with petty people.
Forty-five. Jagjit and Lata singing Allah Janta Hain……… Voices
from heaven!
Reflection: Three hundred sixty-three
………………………………………
One. All of life’s losses are personal.
Two. Farewell,
Kurigram!! Farewell, Lalmonirhat!!
I shall miss Kurigram, Lalmonirhat and the people here terribly. Seven years into my career, the finest time of my working life has been spent in Rangpur. The simplicity, hospitality and candor of the people of northern Bengal will remain with me forever. Ah, Rangpur—such enchantment!!
Most of my time was spent in Kurigram. Let me say just one thing about Kurigram: a heart forged in the confluence of song and river must return again and again… in search of peace!
Dear Chittagong,
I’m coming!!
For those who don’t yet know,
I’ve recently been transferred to the Custom House, Chittagong.
Rangpur, fare well.
Three. Nothing else is needed in life but someone who calls you
‘you’—intimate and dear. I listened to Munmun Mukhopadhyay singing
‘Bochor Charek Por.’ What exquisite poetry-making! Only a Munmun could do it this way! Accept my reverence, know my love!
Four. Sumana Haque. Childhood crush!! Ahhhh……..years have passed in between………
Five. I don’t send birthday wishes. Even when I want to, I choose not to. I only wish that in the dear messages of loved ones, in their good wishes and love, the beloved person stays well. And let those who don’t love stay far away.
On such a day he came. He returns again and again—in love, sustained by his deeds. He is mingled with moonlight, in raindrops, in tears. In the scent of books. And in so much more!
November comes,
November goes. All feelings remain hidden. Frozen water only wets itself.
But the prayers remain intact.
May no one’s heart
harbor any pain,
anger, hurt or resentment
for him.
Known or unknown, whatever it may be,
justified or not,
pain is only pain!
May everyone forgive with love,
this is my prayer!
And yes,
may every November fill the homes of good people with little ones!
(You know, baby’s babies are called guttuş!)
May those little darlings be terribly naughty!
May they torment someone’s life to absolute distraction!
May all the hair fall from people’s heads!
No no,
pfft! Hair shouldn’t fall out,
then how will their wives pull their hair! If they can’t pull hair then life won’t be worth even half,
let alone the full sixteen annas!
Oh, that
madman!
The girl who simply cannot tolerate the color yellow
still tells her lover,
“Wear a yellow punjabi on the day we first meet!”
Yes, Humayun Ahmed of Himu.
He has departed.
He was never told………how much he was loved!
The letters written for each of his birthdays,
wrapped in yellow cloth, could never be delivered to him.
One must declare love to people before they leave. I didn’t understand this before.
So when November 13th arrives, there’s nothing left to do but swallow tears.
Then there’s another November boy, who is quite awful!
Someone I constantly want to push into water, whose arrival is also in this November……I can’t say anything to him, not even offer special day greetings. Because he himself pushes me away, keeping me outside his own world!
The feelings that live inside for beloved people
remain known only to oneself; these emotions make only oneself cry.
How special birthdays are—
this can never be explained to them.
If there’s any anger or hurt toward beloved people, may they forgive……this is the birthday prayer!
Six. Whether gathered with supreme tenderness to string garlands, or trampled underfoot in careless abandon, or left untouched on soft grass until complete dissolution—whatever happens, the bakul flowers will fall nonetheless!
Seven. People have nothing better to do than eat and drink,
they go shopping, buy a dress, then wear that dress to go shopping again. Then they bring home another dress.
Wearing that one, they go shopping again!
Subsequently, whatever they shop for and bring home, they wear that to go shopping once more!
It continues. It just continues.
Uffffff…….!!
Duality: Let people do whatever they want,
what’s it to you?
Should everyone become Robin Hood, Hercules like you!?
Me: What do you mean…..!?
Where did Robin Hood come into this…!?
Duality: Didn’t you once say that you wished you could be like Robin Hood, Hercules and wear the same outfit your whole life—that would be nice!
Me: Oh, I did say that…….but that doesn’t mean I’ve become Hercules!
I also said there’s no point in wearing the same outfit twice……you didn’t remember that, but you remembered the other part perfectly……bastard….!!
Duality: I remember that too, but you’d never do that in life…….you’re such a miser!
Me: Ohhhhh!…….Shushhhhh!!
I’m not a miser, I just don’t want to waste…..huhh!!
Whatever…….go away
and live somewhere far!
Eight. For Christmas………Christmas nipple covers!
Well, if everything else can be shown, what crime does just that little nipple commit!?
One cannot design a dress that covers the entire body………with only two nipples and two inches below left exposed!
Whoever wears this dress,
everyone will look at them and say,
Look, what a daring dress they’ve worn!
…………Just like when someone acts very openly, they say it’s bold acting………like that!
Just hearing this makes my mood sour…..what courage is there in this?
This is a matter of personal choice…..there’s nothing courageous about it…..
No. On days when I don’t feel like attending class, when young teachers are lecturing, I sit on the front bench,
keeping eye contact with the teachers,
staring fixedly at them, trying to make them uncomfortable!
What’s what!
They maintain even longer eye contact,
and keep chattering comfortably!….On the contrary, feeling extremely uncomfortable, I eventually look away myself!
The teachers surely understand that I’m staring with mischievous intent!
Ten. When you love,
you must simply love…….having loved,
one must never calculate what the person on the other end received from this end…..
If there’s something within a person that influences their loved one to stay in the relationship, that’s a bonus……but one must never keep account of this.
Eleven. Today is October 27th……two years have passed…….
New scents in the smoke of old sorrows…….
I think, if we give space to sorrow,
sorrow too might perhaps make room for happiness at some unexpected moment.
Sorrow comes……riding on time’s back, and takes leave in the same manner….In sorrow,
rather than being unhappy……in happiness,
not being able to stay well is more torturous.
Life, whatever color it may be surrounded by,
may everyone stay well.
Twelve. I have a terrible habit of not answering phone calls. Unless there might be some urgent need for a call,
forget strangers,
I don’t even answer calls from acquaintances!
So when everyone scolds me and gives me a talking-to, I listen to all that with four ears wide open,
and chew and devour all that scolding with forty-two teeth!
Since I commit the offense, I must graciously accept the punishment!…hehe…
This situation is so bad that once, no one could even inform me in time about the news of one of my grandmothers passing away!
I also couldn’t tell anyone fearfully that I hadn’t answered the phone properly,
but they could have at least sent a message!
Long ago someone was saying, “Will you work at a call center?”
Immediately my throat went dry! “Will you give me a glass of water?”
“What……!??
“Heh heh heh……”
And when a call comes that I absolutely must answer,
I deliberately run away!….heh heh
Yet this same me once called repeatedly in desperate restlessness, only to be blocked! (She had video-called me, and within a minute said to take off all my clothes… When I didn’t listen, she cut the call!
Yet for months I had been restless just to speak with her a little… After she hung up, I became even more agitated and kept calling again and again…)
How many shops I searched just to make one phone call…
Damn useless shops—couldn’t make a call from a single one!
Finally I managed to call from one shop…
…A behavior that would drive a woman to murder if done by anyone else becomes perfectly acceptable when performed by the person she loves. In fact, at that very moment, it will seem natural to her. She’ll even construct some reasonable explanation for such conduct!
Tell me, do women always get entangled with the wrong person?
The very person who treats me with such indifference—
why do I become so desperate for him?
Reflection: Three Hundred Sixty-Four
………………………………………
One. Today I am sharing with you a true love story from my own life.
I studied LLB. In 2015, I enrolled in the law department of a private university. In 2017, during my third year of undergraduate studies, somehow I fell into a relationship with a primary school friend—a strange, unnamed feeling that became love. Neither of us ever proposed. She had a boyfriend before me; they broke up in 2015. Still, accepting everything, I loved her.
Our love began on February 21st, 2017.
The girl was from Faridpur. She was studying mathematics honors at Korerdanga College. Anyway, in our family there are many protocols to maintain when marrying off a daughter, but their family doesn’t observe such formalities. Still, I loved her, accepting everything. We loved each other so deeply I cannot describe it. She promised me she would belong to no one but me. Time passed this way. Ours was a profound love. A year and a half went by like this.
Suddenly on September 19th, 2018, she asked to meet me. I met her at a park. She told me,
“My brother-in-law has arranged my marriage with a boy. And if I don’t marry him, he’ll divorce my sister.”
I said,
“What kind of talk is this? Make your brother-in-law understand that you’re already in a relationship. Or explain it to that boy, because any person in their right mind would never break someone’s heart.”
She refused to tell anyone out of fear for her family’s honor, because if her brother-in-law made this public, the family’s reputation would be ruined forever. Though I am a man, hearing this made me sit on the street and weep loudly before hundreds of people. But she said that no one can find happiness by causing pain to their family, so she too could not hurt hers. After all, her family only wanted what was best for her! “Please Rabbi, adapt yourself to this reality. I cannot cause pain to my family of twenty-two years for the sake of a year and a half of love.” I wept bitterly, lying there on the street. I brought my mother and aunt before her. They said, “If you become the daughter-in-law of our family, at least your education will not suffer. We will manage your family situation. We will somehow arrange for your expenses, whatever it takes. And you two can also sustain yourselves through tutoring. It is not right to leave our son in such anguish.” My mother added, “If you agree, we can speak with your father.” But she replied, “No, Auntie, Rabbi is unemployed. Father will humiliate you and throw you out of the house.”
After returning home, I called her, messaged her on Facebook, wept endlessly. I stopped eating and drinking, nearly fell ill. Still, she would not come to me—she would marry according to her family’s choice. She blocked me on Facebook. Blocked me on her mobile phone too. She had only one refrain: she could not cause pain to her family. Then I called her mother. Her mother said the boy had a house in Faridpur town, tenants, a shop. I was unemployed—how could I manage anything! Later Bindu called to demand an explanation for why I had contacted her mother. She told my aunt, “If I can abandon my family for Rabbi’s sake, what guarantee is there that I won’t abandon Rabbi too in the future?” I was stunned to hear this. Then her brother called and said, “Did you two sign a written contract that falling in love means you must marry?” He added, “I’ve been trying for three years after my Master’s degree, taken so many exams, and still can’t find a job—what will you accomplish, tell me?” And he used language unfit for repetition while speaking to my aunt on the phone.
In the end, I fell silent, seeing my parents diminished. Then on October 6th, the girl was married. I cannot bear the pain she has given me. There is sharp agony in my chest, my tears still have not dried. Now I have truly become a kind of invalid. No one cares about any of this. What difference would it make if I died? She is perfectly happy with her husband. She goes about her life, uploads photos, fills up Facebook. I alone suffer in my heart and weep constantly.
Love makes some into kings of kings, and others into slaves beneath slaves.
Two. After your ID ‘disappeared,’ I was tormented beyond measure. Everything around me felt unbearable. That everything was continuing according to its normal course—I simply could not accept this! All those people who used to read that ID’s posts morning and evening, today they were all getting along just fine without that ID; what was happening to that person now didn’t matter to anyone at all; I couldn’t accept any of this. Why should people live in such oblivion?
Everything in motion felt intolerable. I wanted to use every ounce of strength inside me to freeze everything in place! So many other thoughts kept flooding my mind! Even now I cannot enter my own ID, I cannot bear it! I feel as if I’m utterly alone in a vast kingdom, as if you’ve abandoned me and disappeared somewhere……. no one around me…….nothing at all…..because there was no one around, nothing was there….only you were there……actually you weren’t there, I had kept you there……only you…….
That’s why I cannot bear the solitude of that place!
I always try to calm myself by finding something positive from something negative. The same happened in this case too. Beyond the reason why the ID was shut down at that time, attempts were being made to twist the incident in various directions. Many personal matters were surfacing, not all of which were true, but not all false either.
After calculating a few things, I realized that being disabled was actually for the best! Otherwise some other serious problem would have emerged.
Almost all your writing was in Bengali, and my phone couldn’t display Bengali text.
And there was this strange task I used to do with such patience back then!
That is, reading all the comments written in Banglish, I would try to understand what the status was about!
So many other things I used to do……..
I would watch how many colors would come from time to time……floating in joy…..getting utterly intoxicated at the peak……then at some point becoming colorless, disappearing into deep chasms of melancholy…….
Again new colors would peek through……
The process repeating. Continuing, just continuing!
So many other things I used to observe!
When I could finally read Bengali on my new phone, much of my day and night would pass reading old and new writings.
But great problems would arise. Because after reading any piece, all the world’s questions would flood my mind……I wanted to know the answers to every question……this made me furious with you!
I would often think, let me just kidnap you!……hehe……then keep you captive for many days!….sitting you beside me, I would read each of your writings one by one, and you would answer all the questions that came to mind!
Once all the writings were read, everything known, everything understood, then if I felt like it I would release you, otherwise I would keep you captive with me!…hmm!!
After knocking, messages were sent……but everything before that was completely silent…….I used to read you quietly, in secret.
Who could have known then that one day, in love’s bitter waters,
the heart would soak itself daily!
Having fans is good, but fanatical fans are truly terrifying……the horror of these fanatics was becoming quite apparent then. Without knowing the truth, without understanding,
attempts at doing good—were heading toward great harm.
In the end, when the ID was disabled,
much danger was averted.
From then on, the pure anguish remained inside, while the outer ‘me’ gradually tried to become normal. Even now, when I think of it, I want to give that ID a visible form, embrace it and sob out loud.
Then, one day, a new ID was opened.
Yet……..
When I remember,
I give myself a disgusted ‘tsk.’
Three. Life is so beautiful,
yet so many people choose to remain trapped in their own private hell!
That private hell is surely wonderful…….but when one remains trapped only in that hell, its beauty gets destroyed…..
When you think that private hell is everything,
it actually ceases
to exist anywhere!
Four. Those
aunties, sisters-in-law, and elder sisters who gather in clusters in front of the school,
standing around or sitting about,
calling out “You knooooow, sister-in-laaaaaaw” with long drawn-out tones, rescuing their mothers-in-law,
sisters-in-law and the entire fourteen generations of their in-laws—
whenever I see them, I feel like breaking up their assembly with one tremendously foul-smelling fart!
But since everyone does whatever they wish……to whomever they please!
Since there’s something called freedom that means doing
whatever one wishes, I can’t deliver that fart!…….I suppress it and pass by with great difficulty!