The Plaster of Thought-Walls: 141

Reflection: Nine-Eighty-One

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One. I want to hold your hand,

I want to sit beside you,

Every day, when I return home at night, I long so much to see you.

But I never find the courage to say so.

Never mind meeting—I don't even have the courage to send a message.
If I said "May I hold your hand?" and you thought I wanted to see you! That's why I can't bring myself to say anything out of fear.
I don't understand why people call such vast helplessnesses love.
Two. I had thought that if Brazil won yesterday, in my joy I would personally place ten candidates in intensive care completely free of charge and guarantee their success in the very next BCS exam. But Argentina's victory forced me to retreat from this decision.
Brazil lost—no sorrow there. Argentina won—that's where the sorrow lies. Argentina losing once is far more necessary for the world than Brazil winning ten times.
Still, there's one slim hope: losing to this Croatia would be much easier for this Argentina than losing to that Brazil.
Three. Be harsh with those who disturb your mental peace, who hurt you with their words, or whose behavior spoils your mood or temper. Remove them from before your eyes. At day's end, keeping yourself well is what matters most.
Avoid those you don't like. There's no need to go near them and announce that you don't like them, or that they're bad (and you're good). If you don't like looking at someone, look elsewhere instead of at them. Why keep going back to what you don't like? What's the point of licking foul-smelling excrement and then saying what a terrible smell, what a terrible taste... ugh, how disgusting... does saying such things really have any meaning?
Having common sense is more important than possessing all the world's knowledge, erudition, or wealth. Speaking with the intention of attacking someone who, far from personally attacking you, didn't even speak to you—this is the same as a street dog barking at passersby.
I avoid those I don't like, don't even step on their shadows. I don't go anywhere near them, much less say anything to them!
Why? It's neither tasteful nor do I have time. They are as they are, I am as I am. End of story!
Four. Looking up at the sky, it seems Argentina will win today; for only today's sky has dressed itself in the colors of Argentina's flag.
Even when we temporarily misunderstand someone we love, that person returns again, because in this emotional Bangladesh, love never dies. You'll see that the one you truly love will ultimately remain before your very eyes... arms and legs spread wide. Even from a blazing funeral pyre, true love will leap before you and sing: "What will I live with if I leave you... where will I keep my heart... the heart won't listen... ta ta ta... eh eh eh..."
Even if countless Brazil supporters misunderstood Croatia for just a couple of hours, they truly love Croatia at heart. Though you might grasp someone's exterior in mere two hours, you can never truly know the person! We are the people of Bangladesh. Though we may have a thousand different opinions, we have but one heart. Our love may sometimes wander here and there, but it always finds its way back to where it belongs. A cow may graze all day in various fields, putting its mouth to this plot and that, but at day's end it surely returns to its own field... exactly 'where it belongs'! This is what love means, this is what coming home means. This is how one returns! Though devils may possess our bodies, only one can possess our hearts! One whose destiny is bound with Croatia—where else could such a soul find peace?! Don't you understand the arithmetic, my dear friend?
So what if the beloved is lost? The beloved's friend is still there, isn't she? When I reach out with my heart I touch her, but when I reach out with my hand I cannot grasp her... so what of it? Even if the person of the heart departs, the person of the hand remains. In the beloved's absence, it's actually better to make a home with the beloved's friend; at least that way the home survives, doesn't crumble. This preservation is what matters most, no matter with whom we preserve it! We must rise above all narrow-mindedness, expand our hearts, make room in our souls. Those who abandon home in pursuit of people lose both their people and their home. We therefore preserve the home and let the people go... this is our legacy, our heart's magnanimity, our proud heritage! Toot toot toot!
Brazil has departed, leaving behind Croatia, dearer than life itself. Let others not know, but I know—that day Brazil fought against Croatia to eliminate Croatia from our triangular love story! How cruel! How heartbreaking! The poet said, "Do not remove the person from the wedding chamber..." One who tries to push away the beloved—God Himself judges such a person! What harm would there have been in sharing one home... two wives, one husband! Alas, jealousy! Alas, Brazil! Alas, destiny!
Both Brazil and I love Croatia. Since it was because of me that the home of Brazil and Croatia burned in jealousy's fire, it is now my sacred duty to preserve that home! If today I do not stand beside my beloved's dearest friend in her farewell, then my beloved, dearer than life itself, will suffer! How can I allow such dishonor to my love while life remains in me?! No, no, no... I will never allow this to happen...!!!
Yes, brother, you've got it exactly right—God exists. If love is Made in Bangladesh, then it never truly disappears... whether smoldering in the heart's depths or burning like tinder in the soul's secret places, eternal love blazes on forever. This is why by His will Croatia has won, my true love has triumphed. Ah yes, love wanders about speaking in political language... Brazil was on the lips, Croatia was in the heart, and in the heart's deepest chamber was... I'm too embarrassed to say, I'll tell you later!
Yes, all our love is truly for Croatia. This is God's command. A nation that spends its life with others' exes or former flames, carrying an ocean of gastric pain (read: heartbreak) in its chest—such a nation cannot be frightened by these trivial Brazil-Argentina separations. We may be poor, but we too have our dignity.
During the US DV lottery period, we proved beyond doubt that we most desperately want to leap into the very bosom of what we claim to despise most. I've seen many in this life who spent their days hoisting the socialist flag high and cursing America's fourteen generations, only to win the lottery one day and flee there in a single bound, breathing sighs of relief. "Without nectar in the heart, one cannot spew such poison from the mouth..." We simply cannot! Meanwhile, Stockholm syndrome courses through our veins... the more someone beats us, the more we're bound to them... What a predicament!
Our love affair is with Brazil, our marriage with Croatia, and if need be, we'll set up house with Argentina or whoever else.
Vamos, beloved!
P.S. What will you get if Croatia doesn't win? A horse's egg! And what will you get if Croatia wins? Ex-Miss Croatia Ivana, if Croatia wins... what she won't give... not in this lifetime, absolutely nothing! Croatia, my love! (No harm if you don't understand this—it won't be on the BCS exam.)
Reflection: Nine-Ninety-Two

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One. I learned today what taut tension means, its varieties and manifestations, watching today's match! To turn an easy victory into a difficult one in a single match, then somehow manage to win it in the end... we're unmatched in this art. Who knows if our dear brothers deliberately miss those easy catches just to create that level of pressure in our nerves! Especially for those with heart conditions, watching today's game was particularly hazardous! Such a match can turn even atheists into believers! Good heavens!
Two. Brother, say what you will, only cricket is real! When your own country plays and thrashes a foreign team, it truly feels wonderful to watch. Miraz is a beautiful genius!!
Look toward the gallery. You'll see supporters of Brazil and Argentina sitting side by side in their jerseys, celebrating Bangladesh's dominant performance together. In Brazil's warmth, Argentina is chasing away autumn's chill, forgetting all divisions. Ah, just watching lifts the spirit!
Though late, Argentina's supporters have finally understood that to accept truth, they must come to Brazil's supporters, sit beside them, join hands with them. Only cricket could bring such enlightenment to Argentina's supporters. What is football anyway! From today, no more football. With cricket around, what need for football!? Absurd!
So I say again, leave aside thoughts of Brazil-Argentina and come together under Brazil's shade like today's Bangladesh-India match spectators. You saw it yourself—watching Bangladesh's sporting prowess, I too followed Argentina's supporters and joined the line!
Hats off, Tigers!!
Three. Friendship Day always brings my ex to mind. I don't know how much I loved, how much love I received, or whether there was any love between us at all! But we were good friends to each other, very, very, very good friends. Just as I can still recite what she's doing at this moment, what she does on holidays, what she loves to read and wear, she too could tell you exactly how I act when angry, how to calm me down, whether I prefer sarees or western wear, which books I love to read, what I like to eat... everything, absolutely everything. And most importantly, despite both of us having some rather terrible past stories, neither of us ever used them to hurt the other.
I have perhaps never received such profound friendship from anyone else. The love is truly gone now. Love is a strange thing, really—it doesn't last a lifetime with anyone. Searching for a lover, I found a friend. My luck has always been quite good. I know that even if any of my lovers fled in times of trouble, this friend of mine would never flee. I don't know if I managed to become his friend in return, and I don't particularly want to know anything about it. Yet somehow it feels as though somewhere within my existence, that lover-self still remains, as if someone murdered her and hid her there. Who did this deed? Why did they do this to me?
Dear former lover and my best friend, you know almost everything about my life, and you've claimed many times that you understand me. Then tell everyone the name of the murderer! You will, won't you?
Four. Just as Brazilian fans simply cannot tolerate Argentina, and Argentine fans simply cannot tolerate Brazil, if people could not tolerate anyone's wife except their own, then in every Bengali household wives would praise their husbands so much, so very much, that compared to that, the love of Brazilian or Argentine coaches for Bangladesh would seem utterly trivial.
Men give no value whatsoever to their own wives' love, yet they leap around like a goat's third kid to receive the love of Brazil-Argentina coaches!
One's favorite team is one thing, one's favorite wife another. Men... their sense is right, their heads are wrong!
Five. By the way, did you watch the Morocco versus Spain match? An absolutely spectacular game! If you missed it, you can watch it later. Many high-voltage matches pale before this one! Best wishes for Morocco.
Six. Write something that will make some happy and others unhappy when they read it.
I'll start: Days won't always remain like this.
Seven. Try to develop some job skills while there's still time; otherwise, when asked "What are your special skills?" in interview boards, you'll have to say: "I can fall in love."
Eight. The hardest person to live with is the one with whom you can neither live your own way nor live their way.
Nine. What's greater for happiness—emotion or reality?
A good piece of advice: Reality is certainly greater for happiness; there's only one life, and it makes no sense to ruin it by being driven by emotion!
You might wonder, how can I accept everything?
What does your own experience tell you? Humans can accept everything. A person who accepts even death finds separation a very trivial matter. Yes, if you want to grieve, you can stay away from reality. But you pay a heavy price for this, even death sometimes.
Reflection: Nine Hundred Ninety-Three

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One. In boys' eyes, what makes a good girl?

...One who lets them be well.
In girls' eyes, what makes a good boy?

...One who lets them be bad.
In this world, alas, where do I find goodness!
Two. What boys want from a girl: Let me be myself, and you be yourself too.
What girls want from a boy: Let me be myself, and you be like me too.
Pride is indeed beauty. Love is indeed madness.
Three. Boys want a good girl as a partner far less than they want a girl who won't create trouble; if the girl is a bit flawed, that's no problem, as long as she doesn't cause unrest. There are exceptions, of course, because many boys have endless time for both creating and enduring trouble.
Four. Perhaps on some dizzy evening while crossing the street, a white truck will mistakenly run over my chest, and I won't even get the chance to cry out "Mother!" one last time.
Or on some dark midnight, a sharp pain will rise in my chest and my circulation will stop, and I'll die lying in bed. My last wish will never be communicated to anyone.
Maybe while having tea at a roadside stall, a bullet from a gunfight between police and terrorists will strike right at skull level and blow away my brain. I'll never make it home.
Or none of these—most likely, while I'm looking at the sky, some assailant will suddenly appear and plunge a sharp knife straight into my liver, tear it apart, and flee; I won't even know the reason for my murder.
This is how death might come—very early morning or midnight; very loudly or completely silent.
Five. Try to understand, not everyone is the same. Each life, each existence is different. There are people in this world whose sky is not blue, but gray; sometimes murky black. Stars never fall from that sky. Their desires therefore remain unfulfilled. They too want to write poetry looking at the moon, yet in their sky there are only lunar eclipses.
Their empire is vast—all of it barren desert. There are some withered trees there, bones of something scattered around; endless massive stones. Some creatures do exist there, they survive by drinking each other's blood. There is no love anywhere, no light; only boundless darkness on all sides. It's difficult to survive there unless you know how to live through hatred. In their empire only nightmares are vivid and eternal. Dreamlessness is their life.
It's not that no one is beside them. There are many, and it's precisely because there are so many that their loneliness knows no end. They don't know where they're headed. Their sky weeps; it weeps in sunshine, it weeps in rain. No one but they can hear the sound of that weeping. They would feel better if they could reach the sky and wipe away its tears. But where is the way to get there? Their feet are chained!
When they're alone, they find themselves as companions; in crowds, they lose even that. They have homes, yet no place to live. They search for something, want something... they don't know clearly what, or perhaps they lack the courage to want to know.
Six. Completely disregarding the "Do not pluck flowers" sign, I had torn off a beautiful rose and tucked it into my beloved's hair. No one saw me pluck the flower. So no blame falls on me. Yet for as long as I sat in the park, I kept feeling that if someone came and asked questions, I would simply have to deny everything. I had gone deep into thought. How would I answer, what kind of lie would sound believable, whether my beloved suspected anything... all this. That day no one asked me anything.
The problem is that ever since that day, a kind of guilt has been chasing me. Fine, I'm loving through theft—but must I love with stolen things? My beloved is still with me today, but doesn't she think of me as a thief, even in her heart? If she doesn't, then surely she too takes the matter of theft lightly. Is it right to decide to spend one's life with a girl who condones theft? If I were to part ways with my beloved now, who would be saved? Me? Or my beloved?
Why am I thinking so much about all this? Who is it that I really can't bear? Myself? Or her? Or this relationship of ours?
Seven. With great difficulty I had collected seeds of various trees I loved. I scattered those seeds in my little garden. I harbored great hope in my heart that my garden would fill with beautiful flowers. But alas, today I see that my entire garden has become overrun with weeds!
O God! Where was my mistake? Did I err in identifying the seeds? Or was there some negligence in my care? Or is it all merely the play of time?
Eight. Your life is not wrong, maybe your partner is. End your relationship instead of ending your life. Take advice from no one, not even from your parents. It's your life, not theirs. Parents want to make you happy, but they usually don't know what makes you happy. If they see you unhappy afterwards, they will feel sad and this sadness makes no sense. Unhappiness is always personal. Parents love you, love and do everything for their wellbeing in return, but never allow them to make you unhappy in the name of love. Maybe one day they'll die but your unhappiness won't. People who can't forgive their parents suffer the most.
Nine. A person who pursues others relentlessly may be many things, but religious he certainly is not. A religious person doesn't have that much time on his hands.
Thoughts: Nine Hundred Eighty-Four

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One. A snake around Shiva's neck—

Even Shiva's father would think twice!
Two. Merit is not paramount, position is paramount;

By virtue of position, even a donkey equals a lion.
Three. Don't judge anyone by their clothes.

Don't judge anyone by their knowledge.

Don't judge anyone by their religion.
Money can buy expensive clothes. Effort can acquire knowledge. And in matters of religion, no one has any real achievement to their credit.
Just see whether they have common sense or not. There is no greater wealth in this world than common sense. Never associate with someone who lacks common sense—whatever else they might be. Who cares if someone is beautiful to look at, who holds impressive certificates of learning, who appears deeply religious?
You can't wear their clothes! You won't get their knowledge! Their piety won't take you to heaven! But their lack of common sense can land you in trouble or irritate and embarrass you. There is only one true knowledge: common sense.
Four. This was about twenty-four years ago. Going from one secondhand bookstore to another, climbing into their storage spaces to hunt for books was my daily routine. The last time I climbed up to search for books like this was about fifteen years ago. After many years, I searched again today. While looking for books, many old memories suddenly came flooding back.
I was absorbed in searching for books; I didn't even realize when the photograph was taken. May the patience of my patient companion Nilay grow even more.
Five. Where people ride boats on rattling roads, on top of vans...
Tell me, where on earth does such a place exist?
Six. When someone who doesn't let me be well says I don't know how to be well, abandoning them at any cost becomes the only way to survive. If you can't abandon them, you must disregard all their behavior and words.
Seven. You've become quite grown-up, haven't you—how much you'll have to say now!
Eight. What will you do, where will you go...

What's the point of asking others such things?

Be still, sit with yourself.

Don't you have something within you called a heart?
Nine. "Brother, I'm going to enroll in university this time. Which subject should I study to have an advantage in becoming a BCS cadre?"

"There's no need to enroll in honors at all—just a waste of time. Better to chant 'dugga-dugga' and enroll in some BCS coaching center for four years."
The height of BCS sickness!
Ten. Don't repeatedly ask loved ones for explanations. Doing so forces them to painfully create false or true explanations again and again. When someone repeatedly asks for explanations, they've already moved away from you. Why keep poking at them even when you understand this? It only worsens the relationship and serves no other purpose.
People remember much more whether someone keeps them in fear or annoyance than whether someone loves them or not—almost always by constantly demanding explanations. When a beloved becomes someone you must flee from to survive, love itself moves far away from that relationship long before.
There's nothing to ask explanations for—just observe everything silently and understand! After understanding, arranging yourself accordingly makes it easier to adapt to pain. Some things have no solution; you must accept them and stay, or if you can't accept them, move away—there's nothing else to be done.
Eleven. New job. Naturally, I was a bit nervous. One day the boss called me over and said, "Be easy. Just be yourself."
I knew that following the boss's words was the job. So I stopped answering the boss's calls.
I saw that the boss was very annoyed with me.
I explained, "Sir, you told me to be myself!"

I saw the boss was now extremely annoyed.
I understood nothing. Where was my mistake? Should I not listen to the boss then?
Twelve. No one dies wanting to die; everyone dies wanting to live.
Thirteen. One day you'll realize that your family needs your money far more than they need you; the money is yours, but all kinds of decisions belong to your family, and money is the source of this distance.

Then what will work within you is called pain.
You'll see that despite understanding everything, like ten other people, you too cannot escape from here, silently accepting everything; far from sharing this pain with any family member, even during ordinary conversations a kind of fear constantly consumes you, whose source you yourself don't know.

Then what will work within you is called helplessness.
If your situation is not like this, then what will work within you is called happiness.
If your family allows you to be yourself during your moments of happiness, then what will work within you is called peace.
If none of the above happens to you, then you haven't even begun walking on the path of life yet. Congratulations to you! Before you start walking, think carefully whether there's any need to walk this path at all. Pay close attention—when I say 'think it through,' I mean have a conversation with 'yourself,' not with 'other people.' A life that is yours but lived by others' standards—death is better than such a life.
Thought: Nine-fifty

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One. People say it takes two hands to clap. I've seen that often, clapping doesn't happen even with two hands; it takes at least three or four hands together to make a clap! So don't extend your hand needlessly. The more hands, the more harm.
Two. In domestic life, those who do the most remain the most silent; those who do the least are the most vocal.
Three. What's the point of suffering? Does he understand my pain!
Four. Butterflies should never fly near mosquitoes. If they do, the mosquitoes will eventually learn to drink blood too.
Four. I will serve you if you become initiated according to my beliefs.

I will serve you if I become human.
There are miles and miles of distance between these two mindsets!
Five. Serving someone is harder than loving them.
To love, you need a loving heart; to serve, you need a serving mentality. These two are not the same.
You'll find many people who love, but you won't find many who serve. You might think that whoever loves, serves! You're thinking wrongly. When the time comes, you'll understand.
The person you love is ill; in this condition, far from serving them, I've seen people who instead take service from them with complete equanimity. Getting service when sick is more urgent than receiving love when healthy.
The core aspect of Vaishnavite philosophy is service. Those who practice it with their hearts will astonish and enchant you. There's no self-interest here, only self-satisfaction. To them, service isn't greatness—it's daily habit. They consider themselves servants, believing in the presence of God within people. Through serving humans, they directly experience serving God. The task isn't easy; without surrendering all one's thoughts at the feet of God in human form, such service is impossible. One can serve one's own mother, but before serving someone else's mother, much must be left behind.
At day's end, some love, others just add to the burden.
Six. Religious practice is an entirely personal matter; not something to broadcast or interrogate others about. Let us not forget: the first step of religious practice is the cultivation of common sense.
Seven. As the taste, so the livelihood.
Eight. Judge a guru not by looking at the guru, but by looking at fellow disciples.
Nine. Falling in love turns some into gods, others into demons. Those who remain in between haven't really fallen in love—they've simply gotten trapped in habit.
Ten. Whatever someone thinks you are, whether you want it or not—that's what they call you. If you feel you're not what they're calling you, then either they themselves are that, or they secretly want to become that.
Eleven. When I run into an old friend on the street, I embrace them or extend my hand, call out their name, and ask after their well-being. It feels wonderful.
I want him to call me by my name and speak with me naturally. Let no identity other than friendship, not even by mistake, enter there.
There's no shortage of people who cannot speak with me naturally! What need is there to burden that group further!
A friend is never big or small, a friend simply remains a friend. My friend is my friend even if he sells peanuts; one who is not my friend is not my friend even if he's an industrialist. What could be more precious than friendship?
Yet some friends these days begin conversations with titles like 'celebrity,' 'cadre sahib,' 'sir,' 'bureaucrat,' and so forth. I get terribly annoyed. Just the other day, after meeting a friend, when I addressed him by name and asked, "How are you, friend?" I had to hear in response: "Oh, it's the celebrity! What news?" I immediately laughed and said, "My name is Sushanta—perhaps you've forgotten my name under the pressure of patients!"
I feel hurt when someone does this; the hurt is not for myself, but for them.
Twelve. It's terribly painful to bury a living person in one's heart. When people die, they can be buried in the earth, but when they're alive, burying them in one's chest is very difficult!
Thirteen. Come, let's both get ruined together.
Fourteen. How do you recognize an irreligious person?
One whose own deeds are not in order,

Yet who finds fault in others' deeds,

Is irreligious.
Fifteen. Your signature needn't be beautiful, but it's important that it be valuable.
Sixteen. Give that garment of emotion to Surf Excel to wash,

The emotion in which your beloved person pisses with a smile.
Seventeen. How helpless humans are—they cannot stay with the very person who gives them peace!
Eighteen. Where there's no obligation to speak truth, let there be no need to lie either.
Nineteen. In childhood, ghosts would possess me, and now humans do.
Twenty. Just as we've made "no sex before marriage" a taboo, if we had similarly made "no marriage before a job" a taboo, then women's position in our society would have been much stronger.
Twenty-one. In that blue blue sky

Your very image seems to wake,

In this gentle gentle breeze

Your very touch seems to graze.

Eyes like yours

I've never seen in any ocean,

Without you in this heart

I've drawn no one else's dreams.

In this flower's sweet fragrance

Only one 'you' seems to mingle.
Twenty-two. What's in your mind matters less than what's in your behavior. What use is your beautiful mind to anyone if they suffer from your behavior?
Thoughts: Nine hundred eighty-six

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One. On this earth, there is no happiness comparable to being able to touch, just once, only once, someone you can love completely from within, with heart and soul. This is called love, and touching without love is called lust.
Staring at them wide-eyed without blinking—perhaps not even the most beautiful rose in the world possesses such beauty.
Listen to the voice of someone you love tremendously, understanding the language of their eyes—after hearing such sweet melody, even the most melodious songs in the world will seem pale.
Believe me, once you can truly love someone from within, even the scent of their torn old clothes will seem more fragrant than the world's most expensive perfume. You'll want to wrap their used clothes around your chest.
Just once, try loving someone from within—you'll understand that you can remain very close to the heart even from thousands of miles away, and when separated by even a moment's distance, the soul suffers terribly as if it were being lost.
Once, just once, even by mistake, after you have loved someone with such devastating completeness that it shatters you from within, you will see—there is perhaps no other torment of joy like this anywhere in the world.
The joy of torment can be found in only three places: in union, in love, in giving birth.
Two. The most insufferable person in the world has two traits:
What he has to say in fifteen minutes, he stretches to at least an hour and a half.

Unless you tell him point-blank, he simply cannot understand that the person in front of him is irritated by his chatter.
Learn to say what needs saying briefly and take your leave, without spinning tales about your great exploits or name-dropping the luminaries you know, without bringing up irrelevant topics. What is more precious than time! Falling into the clutches of a chatterbox drives one absolutely mad!
Three. Good girls go to heaven, bad girls bring heaven to you.
Dear good girls, stay away and safe.
Four. In this life I have never forced anyone to stay. You cannot hold someone by force. The one you have to force has already left; if they hadn't left, there would be no need to force them. What's the point of forcing someone who has already gone? Love never happens through force or pleading.
Five. You must know very well what you are paid for and do everything accordingly.
Six. Humans want to stay longer wherever they find peace. Yet we can remain close to sources of peace for only the briefest moments in our lives. No one is to blame for this helplessness. What greater powerlessness could there be! We know how to care for the sick; far from caring for the melancholy, we haven't even learned to understand what melancholy is.
Seven. Your position in your own family is no more than that of a dairy cow. Give milk and you'll receive affection. Stop giving milk and the affection stops too. No one here cares about your peace.
Eight. I watched 'Jawan.' No, let me correct that... I savored 'Jawan.'
How was it?
I'll answer in two ways:
One. If you ask which movie I'd want to see at the multiplex tomorrow, my answer would be: Jawan.

Two. It feels wonderful to think that Shah Rukh Khan and Sushant Paul share the same birthday: November 2nd. He is the last superstar! (You all think BCS cadres are stars! No, I mean, never mind!)
Don't ask me to go to the cinema to watch movies. Rather, make such movies that getting tickets becomes a struggle. Our time is more precious than the ticket.
Long live good cinema.
Nine. Skeleton flower. When it rains, I remember this flower.
No matter how much you care for this flower, it will reveal its true form only when touched by rain. Nothing but rain knows how to bring out its beauty.
The moment rainwater falls on it, all the flower's colors dissolve into transparency. This is one of nature's wondrous magics. Only rain can properly awaken this flower. Nothing else in the world can touch this flower in such a way. Just any water won't do for this flower—it needs rainwater. Growth and fulfillment are not the same thing!
Just as without you I feel incomplete. Your absence means I am not within myself. I remain with you alone even when I am with the entire world. As if you are me, I am you. Only with you do I find myself as I truly am. Only before you can I unfold myself, casting away all hesitation. That is why without you I am incomplete.
Ten. Suppose you intensely dislike someone. When they call, you feel annoyed; every word they speak seems unbearable to you. When they appear before you, you feel uncomfortable, but since they are a member of your family, you cannot avoid them entirely.
Though you always want to stay a thousand miles away from them, they keep pestering you constantly to maintain contact. Suppose you have helped them in many ways throughout life, but they never acknowledge any of it—instead, they constantly appear at your ear with various complaints: they lack this, they're short of that, and they go on and on.
You never scold or show anger when speaking to them, because you have come to despise them so much that you no longer even wish to explain anything to them. In short, you want to stay away from them or such manipulative people. In that case, how would you proceed? How would you keep yourself safe from such scheming individuals?
Suppose they are the type of people who would destroy your entire life and career for their own gain. If most members within the family are of this nature, how would you maintain these relationships?
Now, you cannot keep yourself detached from everything day after day just to avoid them; you must keep your phone on, you must check messages and emails, you must stay in touch with others for work—but solely because of them, you cannot advance yourself at all. They won't let you move forward in any direction, constantly holding you back from behind.
In this situation, how would you protect yourself? What path would you take to rescue your life from complete ruin?
Eleven. Bengalis, being a hybrid race, have gotten themselves into quite a mess. Now even to perform a wedding creates a situation of pleasing neither side. Even the episode of eternal unrest cannot begin peacefully! What a predicament!
You want to keep your religious beliefs intact and marry before a few people in your place of worship? Try it! You'll see your community will say you're being overly pretentious. When you're doing everything else, why is the wedding like this? You should do it properly with grand celebration! The money is yours, but the decision belongs to everyone!
Again, if you want to have a grand wedding with elaborate festivities among the so-called acquainted people of society? That'll do the job! Then another community will show up! They'll deliver sermons... what kind of devout person are you! (The torture of forcibly making people religious is a common story in this country.)
Now you tell me, if you weren't from a hybrid race, would you be in this predicament today? You'll live in confusion and die in confusion too.
Alas! Bengalis nowadays cannot even perform a wedding in peace! The moment they hear of a wedding, self-proclaimed wise people rush forward in droves to dispense wisdom! One's life is lost in the assault of knowledge!
The excitement we have about other people's weddings is comparable only to sexual excitement!
Thought: Nine Hundred and Twenty-Seven

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One. Better to die in hope than to live in despair.
**Two.** When a car passes by me, I think—what if you're inside it!

Maybe you saw me... and I go on imagining just like this that you did see me, that you smiled.

I feel somehow joyful, elated... my heart dances...

You are such a joyful, joyful comfort!
I long to see you, so I see you however I please with my mind's eye.

It's good that I didn't get you. Everyone loses what they get! It's precisely because I didn't get you that I feel so joyful, so elated.
You used to buy me so many flowers, remember?

All the flowers have withered; yet look, you remain so fresh even today!

Do people become flowers by giving flowers?
**Three.** Question: What is trust?
Answer: Trust is what breaks when, despite saying "I'll delete it as soon as I see it," you keep it instead of deleting it after seeing it.
**Four.** Come, let's recreate our past together, the two of us.
**Five.** The hardest person to be with is the one who will neither let you die nor let you live.
**Six.** If you want to use time most effectively, understanding just this one thing is enough: the difference between wasting time and spending time.
When we waste time, we think we're spending it; when we spend time, we think we're wasting it.
If you can overcome this weakness of thought, it's possible to accomplish more "real work" in the same time compared to others.
**Seven.** I don't cry for you,

I cry because of you.
**Eight.** Never annoy the wrong person.
**Nine.** If you want to ruin a relationship with someone, marry them.
**Ten.** "I respect you."
If this means: you will do this work, you will not do that work, you will help me by giving me time in this way and that way, etc. etc.—then I'll tell you, this isn't called respect, it's called expectation. Unless someone is utterly foolish, you can never expect anything from someone who doesn't know you without reason. Someone whose time has value never gives quality time to a stranger without cause.
I don't want respect, I want forgiveness.
**Eleven.** Rather than spoiling the relationship with someone you love, it's better to quietly step away. If you spoil the relationship, you'll lose both the love and the person; but if you create separation, both will remain yours for life.
**Twelve.** There may or may not be peace in love; but there is certainly love in peace.
**Thirteen.** Don't worry about me, I'm not crying anymore. If you can, say a little prayer for my soul—its tears just won't stop. Curse me if you must, but don't curse my soul—it has done no wrong!
**Fourteen.** From all those places you had to leave with your head hung low in shame, prepare yourself bit by bit each day so that one day you can stand there with your head held high.
**Fifteen.** So is that love, then—where care comes with pain-free?
**Sixteen.** Some people are very strange. When you email them, you have to call and say, "Brother, please check your email"; when you send them a WhatsApp message, you have to call and say, "Brother, please check your WhatsApp."
**Seventeen.** Don't invest all your money in one stock.

Don't give your entire heart to just one person.
If you do this, you'll get caught.
Have tea with someone, tête-à-tête with another;

Kiss someone, give everything to someone else.
Eighteen. The best way to enjoy the money you earn is not to marry.

The best way to enjoy the money you don't earn is to marry.
Nineteen. If someone needs advice but wouldn't approach you despite knowing you, never force your counsel upon them. People find this deeply irritating.
Twenty. One image, many philosophies.
Twenty-one. Wives love their husbands.

Husbands fear their wives.
Why do wives love? Because loving is women's nature.

Why do husbands fear? Because women mistake fear for love.
Then whom do men love?

Peace—wherever it may come from!

Do women love discord then?

Not at all; they grab men by the throat and consider this love.

Why don't men protest? Fear of discord. It's easier to die in peace than live in turmoil.
Marriage is a great sin. No one escapes punishment for this transgression.
Twenty-two. Let the person beside you live. You may not regret it if you suddenly lose them, but don't they have the right to live before death? Live and let live. Before death comes, let the person beside you know that you are not inhuman. I know a genteel lady who always mistreated her husband, constantly bombarded his ears with complaints about life, yet now weeps thinking of her dead husband! She claims she loved him. The poor man suffered just living under the overwhelming weight of this lady's love! What use is weeping after losing someone?
Twenty-three. A person who remains dissatisfied with virtually everything in the world and constantly complains about various matters—such a person neither stays well nor allows others to stay well. Living with such a person equals death.
Twenty-four. The Bengali husband's condition is worse than a chicken's. A chicken can only be slaughtered once, but a Bengali wife can brutally slaughter her Bengali husband daily if she chooses. The Bengali husband pays for the same mistake practically his entire life. Bengali wives are free from this torment, because remembering a wife's mistakes isn't particularly urgent for Bengali husbands. Women can remember everything; only what needs remembering, they cannot recall.
In Bangladesh, it's easier and more profitable to be a chicken than a husband.