The Plaster of Thought-Walls: 132

Thought: Nine Hundred and Eighteen

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One. Will you tell me something true?

Why have you stayed with me all these years? Why haven't you gone away somewhere else? You could have left if you'd wanted to. What? You couldn't?

Actually, you know what, relationships are like nets. Once a person gets tangled in one, they become even more deeply trapped like a fish caught in its meshes. As time passes, the net spreads wider, the bonds grow tighter. Even when the net is cast off, there's no freedom from its hold. Like a pet cat, it clings step by step, rubbing against your body, coiling around you.
Sometimes through the enchantment of words, sometimes through the enchantment of voice, sometimes through the enchantment of affection, relationships become nets that grow deeper and deeper. Eventually there's no need to break the relationship, and in fact it can't be broken. You can never drive away a pet dog or cat. Relationships become like that too—even when kicked, they quietly curl up at your feet, purring softly, sleeping right there. They know that when they wake up, they won't be at your feet, but in your lap.
Some things are so endearing, aren't they? Like this, for instance—my feeling for you, or yours for me, or our feeling for the coffee cup we drink tea from every day, or even that strange tenderness we feel for the doorbell that rings every day, isn't that so?
People don't stay trapped in love, or need, or even in affection—they stay trapped only in tenderness.
Two. A man's mistress should not try to replace his wife. If she tries to replace, she is replaced.
Three. Stop being emotional. Sometimes love dies. Accept it.
Four. If a woman has just one thing—nothing more, just financial independence—then she doesn't need to keep returning to words like these: humiliation, betrayal, pity, abuse, inferiority, subjugation, and so forth.
Of course, first she must escape from two great traps: love and emotion. Just as you need lentils and rice to cook khichuri, you need love and emotion to cook suffering. These two are the closest friends of mental anguish.
How will I forget him?

How will I leave this place after so long?

He may be like this, but I'm not like this. How can I do such a thing?

How could he do this to me? How? How? How?

What's my fault in this? I won't rest until I see the end of this!
The answer to thousands of such questions is just one: what isn't keeping you well, holding onto it makes it impossible for you to be well in any way. And the only path to abandoning any wrong dependency: financial independence.
You might somehow manage a household by enduring kicks and beatings while looking at love or a child's face, dying a slow death, but you can't breathe healthily and live. To live well, financial independence is more essential than a husband's love. When trouble comes, it takes money, not love, to get free from it.
Five. People sometimes become completely silent when they feel their words have no value at all.
If you are the person responsible for such an incident, know this: you are truly a very bad person.
Six. The most beautiful thing in this life is finding someone without whom you simply cannot live.
The most painful chapter in this life is being forced to live without that person.
The first happens to some people. Among those to whom the first happens, the second happens to almost all of them.
Seven. The word "No" is not absolute. It changes to "Yes" depending not on the situation, but on the relationship.
To hear "Yes", you must have a reason.
Eight. I'm special to you. It's not important.

You're not special to me. It's important.
Nine. Justice is serene.
...Yes, you deserve it.
Period.
Ten. I exist only to come right back to you, only more beautifully.
What a loser---me!
God hasn't even granted me a virtual love!
Today, because I am poor... you won't let me come near.
You made me so romantic and then left me stranded!
However life comes to me now, I shall accept it that way.
If you suddenly love me one day, I won't ask—not even by mistake—why you didn't love me all this time?
Whatever I find each day, I'll gather it up and take it, but do come back; I can't trust anyone else anymore.
To whom shall I offer these feelings of mine? They are so sacred, and no one else is worthy of them.
When I can't sleep, I need your lap.
When I feel listless, I need your chest.
When I don't feel like doing any worldly things, I need to sit curled up in your lap eating popcorn.
I'll feed you popcorn from time to time too.

You'll kiss my forehead now and then, and I'll sit quietly eating popcorn until I find myself again.
To find oneself, one needs another person, you know?
We cannot choose our father or our guru ourselves. Not just the father—our guru too is appointed by the Creator.
We trouble our father precisely because we are indebted to him.

In exactly the same way, we trouble our guru because we are indebted to the guru.
Those who give us birth and learning—humans cause them the greatest suffering.
Thought: Nine Hundred Nineteen

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One. Do you know, why I come back again and again only to you?
With you, I don't feel alone.
It's all about how we experience through the events happening outside.
If I feel alone with someone in marriage? It won't serve the purpose.
If I don't feel successful within? All the top positions at different offices won't be enough.
Being free means we must figure out what we really are, what feels right exactly for us, right?
I also cherish the fact that you can take my strong urge to express the philosophies.
Higher thinking, that I download from the Cosmos.
I needed this helplessness, I didn't believe in destiny before.
I do now.
I trust in God's timing now.
A dose of fatalism was absolutely missing in my thoughts.
I always knew I had control over my life.
I don't.
We don't choose.
Wow!
We never know before it happens.
Jay Shetty chose to be a monk and took himself dedicated to the monastery, shaved his head and used to wear robes, but then his guru told him that he would serve better if he went out in the materialistic world, and spread the words of spirituality.
He came out and met his wife.
Marriage is actually meant to bring our spouses closer to God.
You know that?
And what if I never meet my spouse? The point is to have faith in God that it is best for me and not to suffer.
Because, I actually don't suffer for my losses now.
Suddenly, I feel I am actually lucky and all my wishes are actually coming true.
I wouldn't have fared well if I had seen myself stuck here for the next thirty years. For me, BCS was a journey, not a destination.
I needed to believe in God and maybe this is the time God is speaking to me.
I need you, to keep living inside.
And I know now that you too are a godsend to me.
Two. Every now and then, I feel like 'This is how I end!'
Then I wake up...with a coffee...'I can either accept this or I can get to work.'
No matter what happens, promise me, if I die proving myself now, going abroad, or anything happens to me, you would write for me after I die and tell the world, tell my friends here, tell my family that I never stopped fighting to make it happen.
Three. Something that happened a little while ago.
An elder uncle came to our house to invite us to his daughter's wedding. I went to meet him.
Before the uncle could speak, Mother, seeing me, began recounting the groom's credentials.
Such a good boy, your uncle has found such a good boy. The boy's family has two houses, three gold shops. They earn rent from properties, and who knows what other businesses they have! Oh yes, they even have a house in India. She's marrying into a very good family.
Look at the definition of a "good boy." Try to understand. Is the boy himself anywhere in the description above? What's there is entirely about his family, his family's wealth.
Mother wasn't like this before; she's become this way. When it happened, I didn't notice. It could also be that in front of that uncle, Mother voiced what was already in his mind. Whatever the case, while Mother spoke, the uncle's face glowed with happiness and satisfaction.
Nothing can be done about it. This is how the marriage market works. A boy's value here doesn't just increase on its own after becoming a BCS cadre. In a society where marriages happen as much between wealth and people, position and people, families and people, as between people and people, you're bound to witness such scenes! Truly, nothing can be done.
If you're not born the son of a wealthy family, then prepare yourself. Sons of affluent families are prepared from birth. If you're not born with such fortune, then, I say again, prepare yourself.
Four. Let's play a game.
Today and tomorrow are holidays anyway. Come, let's spend some time with books.
I'm naming three novels with small bodies but large souls:
Sunil Gangopadhyay's *At the Distant Waterfall* (the sequel is *In the Land of Pictures, in the Land of Poetry*. This book is as much a book as it is a dream.)

Samaresh Majumdar's *A Mind After My Heart*

Buddhadeb Guha's *Yellow Spring*
This poetry book can be touched very intimately: Purnenda Patri's *Conversations*; you can read it, two days will pass well.
Why don't you also recommend a book or two for friends!
Five. The girl said,

Shall we take a selfie?

I felt like saying...

Could you remove your mask for a moment?
These days one has to take selfies with beautiful masked faces.
Six. Foolish, ill-mannered people existed in all ages, exist now, and will continue to exist.
But in our time, there was no place for ignorant boors to go and stand, and now there's Facebook.
No rice at home, no brains in the head, yet netizens have a status in society.
That's the difference.
Seven. You cannot claim what you do not pay for. You can only request. If refused, you can request again like a beggar keeping in mind that a beggar must not shout whatever happens.
Eight. It takes just five seconds to reply to a text.

It takes just five seconds to send a text.

One who has the will never shows busyness.

One who is busy never shows willingness.
It's not about loving someone, but about loving the right person at the right time on the right path.

Infatuation and love are not the same thing.

Learn to understand, practice comprehension.
By the way, after getting what she needed, why would she give you time?
Nine. He flirted.

She farted.

They parted.
Ten. : Will you marry me?

: I've a husband.

: But I want to marry you, not your husband.
Eleven. O God, please make my husband's belly grow even bigger, reduce his hair even more. Let the man's paunch expand, let him go bald; may no woman except me ever look at him.
Thought: Nine Hundred Twenty

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One. When your boyfriend says, 'Trust me, I never sleep with anyone else.', trust him.
Why on earth should he waste time sleeping with another girl? Who wants to sleep when not sleeping pays?
Two. Pain is the price of free sex.
Three. When you have sex for money, you will earn.

When you have sex for pleasure, you will enjoy.

When you have sex for love, you will suffer.
Four. People usually do not care about the things you are enjoying that they cannot enjoy. So stop marketing your good feelings. It rather bothers people.
Five. When the person who contributed most to someone's success feels the greatest pain at your success, there's nothing more agonizing than that.
Six. I know I have many faults.

Still, don't leave me and go away, stay beside me. When you're with me, I can overcome everything.
Seven. The easiest path to acceptance among ordinary people is to take refuge in religious and social hypocrisy.

If you think someone extraordinary and try to be candid before them, you'll often be disappointed.
Bengalis don't just survive on rice, they also survive on pretense.
Eight. Being deceived in love by a fool is far better than being deceived in love by a wise person.
Nine. No one is needed to experience the joy of doing good, but a trusted friend is needed to experience the joy of doing wrong. That's why when someone knocks to speak of good things, it feels very annoying. I seek a good friend with whom I can go to temples as well as to dens of vice; I'm tired of spending time with worthless people.
Ten. Rather than facing reality, it's much easier to remain submerged in the ocean of imagination. Yes, that's what we do. Instead of working for future happiness, we simply enjoy the happiness of the present.
Only those who live exactly this way will float with us in such daydreams. The rest will rightly understand that we're not making use of any of the opportunities before us, and those who don't seize opportunities remain perpetually anxious about the future in their minds.
Though when we look at the world, we think, ah, if only we could enjoy life a little more! To truly enjoy, one must first extract oneself from the rat race, which we ultimately cannot manage to do. Living against our own nature this way, we eventually find others' ambitions utterly unbearable.
What's the way out of this? How do we properly complete the tasks at hand? Actually, it's a matter of habit. Constantly worrying about reality gradually depletes our life force. Rather than running around nervously in all directions, it's better to remain calm and methodically complete the tasks before our eyes.
Spending days upon days in the realm of imagination, people eventually become aimless. Immersed in easy tasks, people mistakenly leave urgent work undone. When work accumulates into mountains, people naturally become disheartened. So whenever we see some worldly goal appearing in our path, rather than fleeing from it, it's better to add some extra work to our daily routine. If you rest while running, you don't get the chance to run during resting time either.
Therefore, one must work first on those dreams that are easy to realize. It's good to keep the future in mind while enjoying the present. Imagination is good if it's consistent with reality. When you're on your dream journey, if you must spend time with someone, choose someone whose dreams are like your own. Bad company can provide pleasure, but never establishment.
Eleven. : Gopal, who are those who don't understand fun?

: Your Majesty, they are those who, after receiving a hard slap on the cheek, completely believe you when you say, "Brother, there was a mosquito on your face!"
Twelve. I love you very much.
Now tell me, how should I study from now on to get a job?
...If this is your sample of scheming, transactional love, then why do you wail so pitifully after breakups? What you do yourself or what you encourage is merely scheming—why do you call it love?
Thirteen. The first step to becoming a person of good character is preparing to silently accept the blows from those of bad character.
Fourteen. Who knows why humans love humans, and why they fall in love! What a disaster this is! Is there any greater disaster than this?!
Fifteen. Don't sit down asking for help from someone right from the start; after minimal acquaintance, understand the situation and then ask. In this world, only beggars get help without needing any familiarity. People only help beggars without reason.
Acting that way, instead of getting help, you'll earn the title of an irritating fool.
Yes, there are exceptions to this. If you're fortunate, you might encounter such exceptional people. But you can't force anyone or expect anyone you don't even know to be that exceptional person for you.
Help doesn't need to be asked for—when there's acquaintance or relationship or reason, it comes naturally.
Sixteen. You can run Facebook for free these days.

These days, for free, anyone can go to anyone's wall and write "I didn't expect this from you" or "I do expect that from you."

These days you can even take offense for free.

These days, whether you have food in your belly or not,

you can maintain your status for free.

These days you can sail around on various relationship ships for free.
Science has truly progressed!
Seventeen. In most cases...
Unemployed boys who make excellent lovers make equally terrible husbands.
Established men who make good husbands make equally terrible lovers.
Love requires emotion and leisure;

married life requires responsibility and busyness.
Yes, I've seen it happen this way more often than not.
Thought: Nine Hundred Twenty-One

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One. To those who say that after becoming BCS cadres, people marry other people's girlfriends, and therefore BCS cadres are bad, I say...
How many people have you seen who don't marry someone else's girlfriend or don't have to?
When you're born human, if you marry, you'll have to marry someone else's girlfriend. Reality says so. (I don't see any problem here as long as her intimate photos or videos aren't with the ex.)
You yourself will do the same thing. Even if you accomplish nothing else worth mentioning in life besides one marriage, you'll still do it. Wait and see.
Two. My congratulations to those who have been recommended for various cadres in the 40th BCS examination. My condolences to those among you who came first in various cadres. While coming first may not carry any additional meaning, it surely carries some unfortunate consequences.
May all be well.
Three. If lies get the job done, what need is there for truth?
This is what they call love... this is what they call romance... la la la...
Four. What I don't feel, you'll try to force me to feel.

What isn't in my consciousness, I'll still have to talk about it, tolerate talk about it if I want to survive without getting beaten.

What I don't even believe, I'll have to pretend to believe to avoid trouble.

We live in a culture of imposition.
What kind of situation is this?

You don't harbor such-and-such consciousness? Are you being difficult?

Why aren't you walking this way? Why aren't you speaking that way? You should feel this way!

This is what I understand, what I believe. What are you saying now? Are you even human?

To survive, you must live this way. Your way of living is wrong. Either live by my path, or die!

A brain that doesn't learn to think this way—is that even a brain? What use is it? Throw it in the dustbin!
Yes, we are the humans. Only those who agree with us are human. Outside our path, everything is wrong! There will be only one group: our group! Let all the rest perish! We are strong in numbers, therefore loud in voice! We eat, the rest just chew! To live well, you must walk our path. Otherwise we'll break your legs and grind them to powder!
Just think! Have you ever seen such stunts with consciousness anywhere else? We want to decide how others will think, how they'll be moved! We refuse even to let this simple truth enter our heads: that there might be much more beyond what we understand or how far we can reach.
We either force people to accept, or we keep beating them. Such wooden-headedness of understanding! Such handicapped consciousness! Imagine!
Five. You can easily slap your own child,

but feel considerable hesitation before even mildly scolding someone else's.
Of course, I've seen some people who, despite being unable to bear children themselves, start shrieking the moment they see other people's kids.
If you write, you'll notice that certain people will speak utter nonsense about your work without reading or understanding it. They can neither write nor read, they can only babble senselessly. They think themselves goddesses but accomplish nothing!
The moment they see someone else's creation, they pounce on it with whatever they possess. And it's immediately apparent that their only asset is that brainless skull of theirs!
I've heard that without practicing religion, one cannot reach heaven.

But I've never heard that missing out on harassing others leads to missing heaven.

Yet some people pursue others with the same dedication as religious observance. They have no shame, no common sense, no self-respect. What they do have is endless time to waste on destroying others.
Whenever you see someone babbling about the creator instead of discussing the creation, understand immediately that the poor soul is not merely ignorant but mentally impaired. Readers speak about the writing; the worthless prattle about the writer.
Six. Reading people is much more important than reading books. And, it's not that easy.
Even an idiot can read a book, but reading people needs some wisdom.
Seven. A very practical path to happiness: never envy anyone. Not even for a moment.
What's the point of envy? What isn't yours simply isn't yours! And what is yours will come to you. Wait patiently, strive to attain it. I've seen that what's destined for someone often arrives even without effort. Still, one must try. Never close the door to consoling yourself.
If it comes, good; if not, accept it. Does a person get everything they want? So should one feel sad seeing someone else get it? Will that make it yours? No, it won't. Rather, your own mental anguish will keep increasing.
Build your own strength. This can be done through constant effort and practice. The stronger someone is, the less they envy. In this world, only the weak have to live consumed by envy. How helpless! What a tormented life! Where the weak become envious, the strong become inspired.
One person weeps for not getting something, another weeps for having gotten it. Tears have no real connection to gain or loss. Think about it—what cannot guarantee to stop your tears, is there any greater foolishness than envying that? Even if people don't get what they want, they eventually receive what they need.
Thought: Nine Hundred Twenty-Two

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One. A man's first iPhone and second marriage make him patient.
Two. : She sometimes unblocks me. Does that mean she sometimes loves me?
: You fool! Haven't you ever seen a dog being made to dance with a bone dangling in front of it?
: Brother, don't put it like that. My heart says I'm not a dog, I'm human.
Three. By saying whatever comes to mind, we're gradually forgetting how to think. We want to be heroes, yet don't try to understand what makes a hero.
Both the hero and heroism exist outside Facebook. This needs to be understood first.
Four. The more people pursue you, the more delighted you should become!
Think about it—how far ahead you are of so many!
People only pursue those they trail behind, those they dream of becoming like.
But tell yourself at the same time: people are pursuing you because they believe that with effort, they can reach you. They're not pursuing Elon Musk, even though the gentleman's behavior clashes with Bengali consciousness and isn't particularly agreeable. I read in childhood that pride is the root of downfall—a lesson I'm still digesting after all these years. Yet by our simple, error-laden understanding, we witness the "towering collapse" of a prideful Elon Musk every single day. When people see him and say, "Don't forget, Mr. Elon, pride is the root of downfall," Elon Musk responds: "Keep talking, say more—I'm rather enjoying this!" Of course, where would he find time to heed the judgment of such mediocre masses!
Change your understanding, and the world will transform.
Well, why don't they pursue Elon Musk? Simple enough. What would a cockroach accomplish by chasing a lion! Of course, how many of these struggling masses even know Elon Musk?
Yes, push yourself harder, move beyond their reach—so far beyond that they won't even dare dream of approaching you.
Unless you're in politics, never explain your position to the public. Explaining means reducing yourself to their level. The wise course is to continuously strive to become inexplicable to the public.
Five. Live for your own joy. If you live for someone else's joy, you'll find that very person leading the charge to destroy your happiness.
As creatures, humans are ungrateful and thoughtless.
Six. The public is perpetually scheming.
Last night around ten, I went to buy shoes at Sunmar Ocean City. An unfamiliar man approached me, gushing effusively: "Brother, I love you so much. I watch all your videos. I read everything you write. You're my idol." And so on and so forth.
I listened to his words with an emotionless expression. I know what all this means. Such meaningless words no longer touch me. Rather, I was annoyed at having to interrupt my shopping to endure this stranger's chatter out of politeness. Whether he does these things or not makes no difference to me. What he does serves his own needs—there's nothing worth discussing about it.
Anyway, then came the real point!
"Brother, I took the BCS exam this time. It didn't go very well. I'll take it again next time. I'm an arts student. Very weak in math. Decent in English. I really want to become an 'administration' cadre like you. Could you give me complete guidelines? And yes, please tell me what guidebooks I should buy, brother."
My foot! Holy cow! Here I am wandering from market to market during Eid, apparently to dispense guidelines! I came out to shop, and here too I must play teacher at various moments for the crime of occasionally offering so-called guidance. And to a complete stranger at that! Don't I have anything else to do!
I said politely, "Brother, I'm shopping right now, not in the mood to discuss these things. Best wishes to you."
After saying this, I saw a different face on that man. Highly irritated, he walked away without another word. The annoyance was clear in his eyes and expression, as if he'd just been deprived of his "rightful due"!!
Yes, this is the public's true face. Yes, this is the public's true love. They love with ulterior motives, they approach with ulterior motives.
Everything's fine. I accept it all. But does that mean I can go and pull such tricks even on someone who doesn't know me at all? Don't we need at least some acquaintance? And when he's busy with other work, is it right to go and bother him? Having common sense is more important than having curiosity.
You need me, but do I have any need to give you my time? Whatever state you may be in, what does it matter to a stranger? Time isn't something to be asked for, it's something to be earned—at least when you're asking for time from busy people, you need to know the skill of extracting it. We've learned to earn others' money, but we still haven't learned to earn others' time. Like money, time too is something to be earned. Of course, these simple truths may enter the ears of fools but never penetrate their heads.
Reflection: Nine Hundred and Twenty-Three

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One. I too could have abandoned you midway and walked away.
I didn't go anywhere making excuses about work or busyness. I'm not worthless like you; I'm not a man, I'm a human being.
Two. The legendary artist Kishore Kumar. His elder son Amit Kumar, younger son Sumit Kumar. These two are sons of two mothers, Ruma Guha Thakurta and Leena Chandavarkar.
Amit has a very good relationship with Sumit. He loves his younger brother dearly, takes care of him.
After Kishore Kumar's death, if no one else, Sumit's mother had this faith in her heart that at least Amit Kumar would look after his younger brother.
After Kishore Kumar's death, Sumit came home from school one day and told his mother, "Ma, I won't go to school anymore." Hearing such words from her child, the mother was quite surprised. She wanted to know the reason.
Sumit said, "Ma, in class my friends say bad things about brother and you." Sumit's mother immediately went to the school and demanded to know who was spreading such talk! She told the teachers about the entire incident. Later it was discovered that it wasn't the students, but rather a teacher in that very class who had spread all this nonsense.
Sumit's mother immediately brought Sumit home from school and said, "You don't have to go to school anymore. I'll arrange for a tutor at home, you'll study at home."
Sumit studied at home with a tutor for about three months. Suddenly one day a woman came and began apologizing to Sumit's mother. Sumit's mother asked, "Who are you? Why are you apologizing?"
The woman replied, "Actually I'm the person who spread bad and false stories about you and Amit at school. A few days ago I received my punishment for this—my son died in an accident. I've received the consequences of my actions. Now I understand that when you wrong someone, the judgment comes upon your own head, sooner or later."
Though Sumit's mother forgave that woman, what good did it do? She couldn't get her son back! Actually every person must bear the consequences of their actions... two days sooner or later.
Three. What sweeter scheme is there than love?!
People love through schemes. When the scheme runs out, they cut and run. And if they sense from the start that the scheme won't work, they behave utterly badly.
: I love you so much. Please do this and that work for me. Please do this and that for my sake.
: Ha ha ha ho ho ho... say it, say more, it's not sounding bad at all...
Come, let us not search for love to survive, but seek a good home to dwell in. A good home has light, has air... while love holds only darkness... only sighs...
Four. Come back, translation!
Good evening. I have money today, brother. I won't address you formally anymore, I'll speak to you like a brother now. Is that okay?
Brother, you don't know how much I love you. When I see you crying, my heart aches and tears come to my eyes. If you don't insult me tomorrow, please talk to me. I'll create a new ID and talk to you. Why are you doing this, brother? Why? I'm telling you I won't make mistakes anymore. What's wrong with you, what's wrong with me? At least tell me what my fault is?
You said I use bad language at home, so you're angry. I didn't understand—you're my brother, the person I love. It's hard for me to express my feelings to you, whatever home language that might be. Fine, I've stopped using bad language, just for you. From now on I'll only speak to you in proper Bengali. Don't misunderstand me anymore, don't stay away from me. You think I'm a fool, but you don't realize that if you don't talk to me I get upset, I can't focus on my studies. Please say something, don't ignore me, brother.
I've written a poem for you, brother—
Brother, please say something, don't ignore me anymore,

Without you, why do I need this home?
Let everyone see the sky and air, let everyone see the stars,

I need none of this, brother, without you.
If I die, I'll become a bird and fly to the lake,

You'll say that crazy girl went and died.
If you pray for me, perhaps I could become a poet,

I'll tell everyone 'I found success through my brother.'
Brother, I'll write a book with this poem. I'll call it 'The Crazy Girl's Tears'. I know my poem will be very popular. I'm confident about it. Tell me, am I right? You should promote my book to everyone, otherwise they'll all write reviews, but won't understand a thing.
Five. How sweet you are, brother... how cute you are,

But why do you keep your notifications on mute?
I'm so afraid of you that I am,

When you scold me, I break out in a sweat.
This lazy brother of mine has learned to make tea,

He throws two tea bags and ginger into hot water.
Let me tell you something and then I'll leave, brother...

Has anyone ever told you that you're a complete ass!?
Six. It's far, far better to be able to love someone than to be unable to love anyone at all. Who could be more unfortunate than one who cannot love anyone!
Seven. All humans change. With the needs of time, with shifts in mentality.

Inhumans never change. Inhumans always remain inhuman.
No, inhumans never change completely. If you want to be caught out further, then stay with the inhuman.
Eight. No one wants good people; everyone only wants useful people.
Nine. Before gossiping about yourself and your family with someone, make sure they actually want to hear your gossip. Most people become very annoying to others due to this simple lack of common sense.
Ten. Success is more important than strength.
Reflection: Nine Hundred Twenty-Four

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One. This photograph tells many stories.
This hand, this very hand—perhaps it once lifted two handfuls of rice to someone's mouth. Perhaps this hand itself was someone's shelter. Perhaps someone touched its fingers with infinite tenderness, examining them with loving care. Perhaps someone waited restlessly until yesterday for this hand to clasp theirs tightly once more. Perhaps this hand was terribly dear to someone.
Perhaps someone had planned to intertwine fingers with this hand and get drenched in the coming monsoon, or had promised to walk barefoot across green meadows on some moonlit evening ahead, wandering far together.
It's even possible that this very hand bought a pair of bangles from some distant market and placed them on mother's hands last Eid, saying, "Mother, next Eid I'll take you to see the mountains."
Tell me, the mother who sits by the door every evening waiting for her child to return home—will she still wait for this hand today?
There is no answer to this. Life is such a question that has no answer.
Two. We forward two kinds of posts to others with great devotion:
Posts containing malicious messages about someone.

Posts claiming misfortune will befall us if we don't forward them to ten people.
And by doing this work, we rapidly ascend in social status. So we're all quite serious about this noble task!
Three. Life sometimes brings moments of such crisis when, forget about having someone stand by your side, you can't even find a soul willing to speak a kind word in your favor.
Once the danger passes, well-wishers are never in short supply. Then it's quite amusing. Sweet words from the wrong people are terribly toxic things.
When catastrophe struck my life, when speaking in my favor risked losing popularity...even risked becoming endangered, when spreading fabricated stories about me was a foolproof way to gain popularity, when it was everyone's sacred duty to kick the helpless Sushanta Paul in the face—precisely then, the few people who stood by me without any self-interest and courageously spoke some truths in my favor, giving the finger to concerns about becoming unpopular or endangered, among them was the respected Badal Syed Sir.
Sir has many identities. He is simultaneously an excellent writer and speaker. If you want to learn life's simple lessons, you must read Badal Syed Sir's writings, you must listen to his speeches. Many of you know him as a humanitarian worker, as a friend to the suffering, as a guardian to impoverished students. Let me share another of his identities. Among the few iconic officers in Bangladesh Civil Service, Badal Syed Sir is one of them.
You claim to be my well-wishers. You have no idea—I know your true faces.
Without going into how much Badal Syed Sir loves me, how much he keeps me in his good wishes, I can speak of another aspect of his character. Among the handful of senior officers who guided me about navigating the civil service at the start of my career, who kept me under their affectionate shelter, he was prominent.
Those who stood by me in my dark times, I keep very close to my heart...in gratitude, in love, in respect, in emotion...I will keep them there until death. The countless flowers given by fair-weather friends I don't even place under my feet; the thorns given by the few friends of my difficult days I keep on my head with infinite tenderness.
I was filled with great joy to celebrate today in the company of just such a dear friend and teacher. With us was another worthy disciple of Sir's, my genuine well-wisher, younger brother Ayan. I trust with closed eyes and love a few younger brothers, and Ayan is among them. In the matter of selflessly serving humanity, Sir, Ayan, and I share the same spirit.
Today's joy was heightened by the presence of a wonderful person—our revered sister-in-law, Sir's life companion. From the very beginning, she has placed me in the position of a younger brother and shown me much affection. As Sir's fellow traveler, sister-in-law has been working tirelessly for human welfare for many years. No one seeking reasonable help from Sir or sister-in-law has ever returned empty-handed—such an incident has never occurred to this day.
May all good people of this world remain well.
Four. June 3, 2012
June 3, 2022
Ten years of service are complete. Ten years of becoming somebody from nobody are complete. Ten years since the days of gaining recognition are complete.
Time sets everything right.
Today I step into the eleventh year. Yet it feels like just yesterday! In walking this path, I have fallen many times. With the support of friends, well-wishers, and colleagues, I have risen again with firm resolve.
On this day, my deepest gratitude and thanks to those who keep me in their prayers, in their love, in their indulgence. Because you exist, I have truly gained so much in this one life!
Dear colleagues,
The path still stretches long ahead. We shall meet in the gaps between busyness, in moments of leisure. May you all remain well always with friends and family.
Do make time to visit the office. Call sometimes, whether needed or not. If you wish, share your office address—I'll come visiting; we can relax over tea and conversation. Even this much is a great gain in this small life!
Victory to Bangladesh.
Five. : What's your biggest strength?

: I can love madly.

: What's your biggest weakness?

: I do love madly.
Six. Question: What does life actually mean to you? What is life's purpose for you? What should be the purpose of our lives?
Answer: This very moment when I'm talking with all of you, with everyone—this is life. What will happen tomorrow, the day after—I don't think about these things. For many days, many years I haven't thought about them. Despite much thinking, I found no solution, so I don't think about it. Rather, the opposite of what I thought would happen has happened. As a result, I don't really have career plans or life plans.
And what is life's purpose? Life's purpose is to live well. To live well without harming any person in the world. And to help some people live well. I say this repeatedly—this is life's purpose. Live and let live—this is life's purpose, nothing else.
Seven. Those who leave you in times of trouble can never be your own. The person who doesn't stand by you in difficult times—even if he's your own brother—can at most be a brother, but never truly your own. Blood relations alone are not everything. Your own person is someone who will never leave you under any circumstances. Whether in sorrow or joy, whatever the situation, they will never abandon you. Yes, that person is truly your own.
The person who abandons you in times of hardship is neither your relative nor your family member, neither friend nor well-wisher; that person is, in truth, nobody to you at all. Rather, that person does you a favor. What kind of favor? When your difficult times pass, you will remember that those who left you during your darkest hours need no contact from you for as long as you live.
There is no need to give them space in your mind. No need to invite them to your home. No need to give them your time. No need to remember anything they say or do. No need to accept or reject their decisions, their words, their behavior. No need to acknowledge them in life at all. That is to say, those who abandon you in hard times—even if they are your brother or sister, your closest companion—their true face has been revealed to you. You can easily boycott them for life. Save the time you would have spent on them. Better to sleep during the time you would have given them, better to watch television, better to sit idle, better to do any other work—but not good to give them your time.
The person who does not stand by you in hardship, who does nothing good for you in difficult times—that person is not essential to your life. Keep this in mind, and it will be better for you.
Eight. I prefer to speak and hear directly. When strangers comment on my personal matters, they receive unpleasant responses from me. Everyone cannot be placed everywhere.
There is a wall around me. If I do not know you, then you are on the other side of that wall. I have been irritated by people for a very long time. I find the meaningless chatter of unnecessary people tiresome. I must stay very busy. I am not selfish—I am exhausted.
You do not know me. So do not comment about me. Your opinions about what I should or should not do irritate me greatly. You will not suffer for my mistakes—I will. You cannot even reduce my suffering. Therefore, your opinions about these matters are laughable to me. Keep your wisdom to yourself and stay away.
Those who know me know what I am like. I do not believe that someone I do not know actually knows me. At best, they can make assumptions about me. People who speak based on assumptions are completely worthless.
Let me remind you again: you are on the other side of the wall. You do not know what lies on this side. I will not let you know either. The reason, as I have said before, is that I am irritated by people. I do not like to keep myself in a state of irritation.
This is how I am. I have no interest in anyone's personal life. I never think about who does what or does not do. I expect the same behavior from others. When you give people time, they annoy and hurt you. That is why I have made my personal circle very small.
Do I seem selfish to you? If trying to protect myself from tedious people is selfishness, then selfish I am. By the way, you're calling me selfish because you can't use me to serve your own interests. Now tell me, who's really the selfish one here? Time is a precious thing, not something to give away to just anyone.
To survive, one needs walls.