The Plaster of Thought-Walls: 126

Thought: Eight Hundred Seventy-Six

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One. The person I can't stand to look at — searching for them when they're not in front of me... Is this what we call married life?!
Two.

All around

in sky and air

countless, endless suffering scattered.

Just suffering, unjust suffering...

Suffering with reason, without reason...

From life to life

suffering in every hue...

So before causing anyone even a drop of pain

one should think again and again!
On the other hand, every soul should

never cause anyone unjust pain

or do anything

that would compel someone to inflict pain...

Giving pain to someone or receiving it from someone,

neither is pleasant...
Let no one be the cause

of another's unrest!

A person's life

may not be filled with love,

but let it be peaceful...
Three. Some people are so insufferable that the moment you meet them they start talking and keep talking about all the great feats they've accomplished in this life, and without letting you speak or wanting to hear what you have to say, they'll go on in such a way as if you've done nothing in this life except cut grass, and whatever needed tearing, only they could tear it. It never occurs to them whether you actually want to hear all this rubbish or not. Let them talk, poor souls! The lame think a little hobbling is flying! Do you really enjoy listening endlessly to someone's success stories about tasks where you don't even have time to fail?!
Four. God has His own way to make you feel disgusted.
Five. As I couldn't be a bird, I chose to be a sky!
Six. I used to think well of you!

You weren't supposed to do such things.

You were supposed to be this way, that way!

You were supposed to do this, why didn't you?

I never thought of you like this!

You drink too! You smoke too!

You're not supposed to talk like this!

I didn't expect this from you!

Are you really so-and-so?! So-and-so isn't supposed to be like this!
And so on and so forth...!!
Always stay a hundred yards away from people who say such things. They're not human beings, they're worthless people.
Hey brother, you don't know me, don't understand me, yet by what logic have you imagined so much about me?! Keep all your assumptions in your pocket. I might not be the way you think I am, right? By what sense did you assume so much about me without knowing me? How did all these judgments come to your head just from seeing me from afar? What a fool!!
The easiest way to know someone is to interact with them keeping this in mind: I don't know them.
We truly don't know anyone. Accept this. Everyone is their own way, no one is like our assumptions.
The truth is, we actually don't know anything about anyone. No one is like our thoughts. Everyone is as they are. We can only guess. Whatever we assume about someone, the complete responsibility is ours, not theirs in any way. That's why when you see judgmental people with their superior attitudes, you should immediately flee to a safe distance. Those who make decisions based on assumptions — it's better to avoid mixing with them to live in peace. If this means staying alone, that's much better too.
To connect with someone who is a stranger to you, you must meet them on their own terms. Their mind will never match the pattern of your thoughts. It's entirely possible that the person who teaches physics most brilliantly at the university finds physics itself... the most distasteful topic when it comes to casual conversation!
Seven. Night's perspiration drips slowly down the mountainside. In that darkness, I recline in a brown easy chair. Right beside me, sparks from the fire leap and dance...a bonfire. The gentle drift of instrumental music seems to chase away the mist continuously. Barbecue is cooking, and the scent of charred meat mingles with melody to create a kind of wild intoxication all around... occasionally the sound of a flute floats from somewhere in the distance... suddenly I'm dancing, hand in hand with a friend... casting off the unbearable weight of all identity. In our mountain gathering, the primal communion of joy and sorrow from several worlds unfolds. This night, this fire, this warmth, this cold, this charred meat, this breeze, this wilderness, this euphoria, this love, this sky, this atmosphere...all of it was gradually dissolving, hand in hand with the blue level, into last night's star-filled sky... Last night was a night for chasing away sorrow, an infallible occasion for forgetting fatigue.
Today it will happen again...!
Eight. No love, only peace.

Nine. Stop overthinking. Stop taking this much pain. Inner peace is more important than even all the love in the world. Not love, peace is the last word for life. What is the use of floating in the ocean of love if it destroys your inner peace?

Ten. In honoring others' achievements lies the entire possibility of your own future accomplishments.

Eleven. Smile, even if it burns your haters!

Twelve. Life is singular and self-sufficient, just like life itself. There is nothing eternal here that demands we must walk hand in hand with someone.
The eternal is itself singular. Each of us is singular. Here we must decide: will I cling to someone else on my path, or will I connect myself with all others? Because we often see that the hand we hold will inevitably slip away, whether it belongs to a loved one or someone necessary. Who will remain at the end, in that final moment—this we know only through our singular nature, and no one else. So there's no need to worry so much about anyone. We can only transcend ourselves, rising even above our true strength.
Thirteen. Do you know why I keep asking you to come to my city? When you're in my city, even if we don't meet, I feel you're very close to me. When I walk down the street, when I go out into the city on some errand, I sense your presence constantly. I think: any moment now I might run into you! When I pass by places where you might possibly be, my heartbeat increases abnormally, and I feel a kind of sensation as if my body is freezing. I sense that you exist, that you're here in this very city of mine.
Simply because of your presence here, I feel this city of mine is the most beautiful city in the world. But when you leave my city and go somewhere far away, or when you're outside this city, then the most beautiful city in the world somehow becomes lifeless...! Everything feels somehow empty. I feel completely alone even among thousands of people. Then, for some reason, my heartbeat doesn't suddenly increase anymore—it beats quite normally. How can I explain...that abnormal heartbeat is the source of all my happiness!
Reflection: Eight Hundred Seventy-Seven

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One. The more you hate, the more I glow.
Two. These three R's are enough to destroy all the happiness and peace of life:
Reputation

Recognition

Restriction
A man spends the first half of his life pursuing these three R's, and the second half regretting his achievements.
I possess all three; it's precisely because I have them that my life isn't easy. You could murder someone and face no consequences, yet if I so much as contemplate giving someone a gentle tap, I'd surely be hanged!
You look at me and feel envy; I look at myself and feel pity. Who could be happier than one whom nobody knows!
Three. In this life, most of those who have unexpectedly humiliated me aren't worthy of being the shoes on my feet.

In this life, most of those who have unexpectedly honored me—I'm not worthy of being the shoes on their feet.
Four. Sometimes people get lost even on familiar paths. Sometimes, waking from long sleep, a person suddenly realizes the day has grown late...
I have seen profound darkness even in blinding sunlight. I have heard dogs barking within the measured cadence of verse. I have counted, time and again, the gaps between great waves.
I have learned so much, yet I don't know where one must go to find a lost existence!
I have burned in the sun's fierce heat while searching for a fragment of light. I have stood drenched in the full moon's glow while seeking the moon in the sky.
How many times have I walked down wrong paths, yet today I'm terrified of getting lost on familiar ground!
Five. The flower departs...

Only the thorn remains.
Six. Life would have passed quite beautifully on its own...!

Why did you come into my life, if you were only going to leave?

You've left—no sorrow there.

You've stayed—here lies the anguish!
Seven. I am a deeply irritating person, the sort who torments others—no one knows this better than you; for this reason, everything in this world...all my unspeakable words, I speak only to you. Until now, I have kept nothing from you that I consider truly personal—I haven't held anything back. No matter whom I try to build a relationship with, I cannot make anyone happy, and perhaps I never will, because I am mentally unwell.
Sometimes I'm excessively suspicious, which causes me more pain than it does others and harms me more. I want to emerge from this utterly repulsive habit of mine, but despite countless attempts, I haven't been able to control it, nor do I expect to, because now I realize the problem lies within me. Despite caring deeply, despite remaining honest, none of my relationships endure; perhaps I burden a single person with the weight of all the world's unattainments. I become too emotionally dependent on one person, and gradually, without my knowing, a deep fear of losing that person penetrates my core.
Every day, every moment, in my insecurity I make another's naturally peaceful life unbearable and agonizing. This is why no one wants to stay with me. Everyone considers me sick and leaves. I am indeed sick—I've accepted this now. If someone can tolerate this illness of mine and adjust to it, they'll stay; otherwise, they'll leave. I will never again clutch at anyone's feet, denying this illness of mine or making any promise to recover just to convince them to stay—I won't even make the slightest effort.
I am alone, my life is my own; I must carry on this battle alone, I have accepted this, so no one's departure will wound me anymore.
Intense love or affection never ends with time, nor does it ebb even slightly; rather, with time that affection grows stronger, love deepens. What happens with time is this—we try to adapt, and exhausted, we reluctantly accept what is inevitable... we are compelled to accept it. We must live, and so under time's pressure we become skilled actors, trying to prove, wanting to show people that there's no such thing as love, that it's all nonsense... all meaningless; then we find ourselves needing to prove what is not true.
Only falsehood requires glitter; truth is serene, which is why it's recognizable at sight. If love truly fades with time, then surely there was never any love there at all. Love has no past tense!
Eight. Happy Wangala!
(Wangala is the harvest festival of the Garo indigenous community. This celebration is essentially a communal occasion to express gratitude to the harvest deity.)
Nine. With Matgrik...
Preparations are underway for Wangala, the harvest festival of the Garo indigenous community. Father Lawrence and Father Ashis are also in the photograph. Wonderful people, these. From our conversation, I felt I met two genuinely good human beings today. I hope to write about them when I have time.
Note that "Matgrik" means "brave warrior."
Ten. One can live without you, but one cannot live without loving you well.
Eleven. If she had been beside me,

Would winter have felt so cold!
Twelve. Perhaps because we cannot change our parents, siblings, we endure their many wrongful behaviors year after year. No matter how badly they behave, we never show them the door or tell them to leave. We don't tell them to go elsewhere whenever we please; yet if our beloved doesn't behave exactly as we wish, if they deviate even slightly from our preferences, we straight away tell them to hit the road, because there's no visceral bond compelling us to endure! This is why we can so easily replace our beloved, substitute them.
Everything that cannot be replaced, we somehow manage to handle as-is, while everything else we conduct however suits us! If uttering some uncalled-for unpleasant words means fearing that love will diminish, then it's better to call this not love but a transactional relationship. What I give, I shall receive! Solid logic! If I don't receive it, I'll bear it silently if I can; if not, then nothing! The road is open, no tension!
I love her because she behaves according to my wishes—this is not love; there's calculation here.

Rather, her behavior pleases me because I love her—this is love; here there's no calculation.
Whatever one is meant to receive, one receives it somehow!

Whatever one is not meant to receive, one loses it somehow!

What you are meant to receive, you will get at the right time.

What you are not meant to receive, even if you get it, you will lose it.

Nature makes no wrong judgments.
Thoughts: Eight Hundred Seventy-Eight

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One. Most people in this country have no identity of their own. Almost everyone gives their introduction by saying "I am so-and-so's such-and-such."
Goni Miya is a poor farmer. He has no land of his own...
Two. Sorrows freeze into ice...

Joys evaporate into invisibility...

Life floats on water...
Three. Still, sometimes when sudden dense darkness descends... through the throng of mists breaks the shore of some ancient existence;

the harsh sound of old waves announces... somewhere still, in some corner, very carefully, with fistfuls of memories...

terrifyingly, 'you' remain even today.
Four. Where you should have spoken, friend, you remained silent;

where you should have stayed quiet, there you called out, shouting name after name!
Five. It's better not to meet at all.
When we meet, attachment grows. When attachment grows, only suffering increases.
...Then another memory accumulates in the heavy diary of memories. These memories call incessantly, holding us back from behind. Fools still gather memories.
One can love without seeing, without touching, but after meeting, it feels it would have been better not to have met at all. The very act of seeing brings pain! Eyes are such sweet deceivers.
One must never meet someone who cannot be held close despite yearning so deeply.
Six. Belief and love survive only until we see people's true forms. Once seen, fear and disgust arise, which don't easily fade despite great effort. Very few people are truly genteel in their real faces. Sadly, in this realm of inhumanity, those gentlefolk are deeply helpless and tormented.
Seven. Living in the world, we eventually feel lonely. Yet it's not that there's no one around us. Everyone is there, but no one is to our heart's liking anywhere. This feeling is deeply painful. People don't become lonely for lack of people, but for lack of kindred spirits. Living becomes very difficult then, the weight of sighs keeps increasing. This experience of solitude is not easy.
Some people live in such solitude from the very beginning. This way of life continues until the last day of their lives. Though this existence is a kind of voluntary exile, living such a solitary life day after day is truly difficult. There isn't a single person anywhere waiting for me—accepting this and continuing to live... this is an exhausting journey. The reclusive wandering of saints and sages has always been shrouded in mystery for me.
Christian Roman Catholic priests are not permitted to marry. From the time they become priests, they must spend their long clerical lives with solitude as companion. To voluntarily embrace such a life in service to humanity at God's command, and to walk that lonely path with unwavering spirit for so long—both are tremendously difficult tasks.
Today I was a guest at the Baromari Christian Mission for the celebration marking the 25th anniversary of Father Reverend Nicholas Chisim's priestly life. I felt great joy and honor. Not once did I feel like an outsider. I've been mingling with them for the past month. I've always felt a connection of souls with them. This eternal search for warmth—I've always found it among the indigenous peoples.
Music flows in the blood of indigenous peoples. Their conversations, customs, movements, hospitality, life's flow—everything seems steeped in melody! The two aspects that have charmed me most about them are simplicity and gratitude.
Experience has shown me that their expressions of thanks spring not merely from lips, but from the heart. The genuine impulse for life's celebration lies in their faith and living. Here there's no self-interest, no calculation. Such blossoming of spirit is beautiful to behold.
I've witnessed their prayers for peace among all people even today. This longing is deeply sincere, deeply life-embracing. Victory to the Garo indigenous community!
Eight. People don't take time to change, but circumstances do. That's why it becomes so difficult to manage oneself.
Nine. No. The difference between you and me is only this much...

When you are angry, I embrace you along with your anger.

But when I am angry, you pay no heed to me or my anger.
Ten. If you ever see me changing, then call me... Time.
If you can ever feel me, then call me... Love.
Eleven. Rather than trying to appear good in the eyes of those who think ill of you, it is more important to try to remain good in the eyes of those who already think well of you. Even more important is to keep yourself exactly as you are, without caring about all these considerations—provided it harms no one.
Twelve. Each expectation gives birth to a death.
Thirteen. In my youth I would argue a great deal, trying to explain my position.

And now... I simply withdraw in silence.
Let each person win in their own way. I am content if I simply find peace.
Fourteen. Look not toward me, but toward Jesus.

Look not toward darkness, but toward light.
Learn not from us, but from the Son of God.
Fifteen. I have returned from beautiful Durgapur...
I know, if I had shared a few more pictures, you could have enjoyed Durgapur's beauty even better. But sharing too many pictures is really not right. Only unwise, crude, and worthless people share too many pictures. When someone uploads too many pictures, it greatly irritates me. I feel such an urge to abuse them, what can I say! I think, let me elevate myself by thoroughly abusing the scoundrel! I understand these things. So though I am devastatingly handsome, I shared only a few pictures. Please don't be angry with me for this wise restraint of mine, will you?
Sixteen. Burn bright in your own envy!
Thought: Eight Hundred Seventy-Nine

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One. Let peace fall like rain...
Two. The first step toward leaving a relationship from which nothing can be gained except suffering is:
I wish them well, but I do not want them.
...telling yourself this repeatedly and making yourself believe it. Forcibly cutting off all contact with them, completely and entirely.
Three. Last night I went to the Ramakrishna Mission in Mymensingh.
I think I have never gone anywhere and returned without seeing the local Ramakrishna Mission. The main reason for this is my attraction, love, and reverence for Vedanta and the practice of Vedanta.
In my view, in this Bengal, only one other ashram has managed to place the externalities of religion upon the altar of philosophy and spirituality as the Ramakrishna Mission has done: the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in Pondicherry.
Through their work, these two ashrams have been quenching our thirst for philosophy and spirituality for many ages. Knowledge-seekers of any religion can float in supreme bliss in the ocean of philosophy and spirituality through and within their books, videos, and other works.
Most of the Swamis of the Ramakrishna Mission pursue knowledge and humanity with such tireless dedication that one cannot help but be amazed and moved. Along with this comes service to humanity, of course. This service is open to all, not just to people of any particular religion. I have never found even a trace of narrow-mindedness in their words, behavior, or activities. Whenever anyone tries to confine me to some specific place, I quickly escape from there. Liberality is peace!
They never flaunt their knowledge ostentatiously, nor have I ever seen them advertise their work around Ramakrishna or their activities. They carry on their work keeping their own personalities in the background. Only with great effort can one gauge the depth of their knowledge and understanding.
Many of you have surely read Swami Vivekananda's writings. To those who haven't yet, I say: what's the point of spending this brief life without reading Vivekananda's works?! If nothing else, do read his letters — you'll find immense joy! Alongside these, read the books of other swamis as well. Listen to lectures by Sarvapriyananda and other swamis on YouTube. You'll learn much, you'll be able to spend time with your own soul, you'll feel peace.
Rarely will you find such a magnificent synthesis of liberal philosophy and spirituality that, while remaining within the shadow of one particular religion, maintains equal reverence for all religious beliefs and paths. I believe every religion is correct. What keeps humanity alive can never be wrong.
So, returning to where I began. Last night I went to the Mission and had many conversations about life philosophy with the maharajas (swamis) and their students. I found great joy, great solace. The maharajas of the Mission love an insignificant person like me, show me affection, give me their time and indulgence. I don't know why.
Four. Today, after all these years,

seeing you cry like this, I keep thinking,

ah, if only back then, just once... just once you had said, you love me!
Just hearing that much, I would have left everything in the world and come to you.
Do you know that the pain of not being able to hear "I love you!" is far greater than the regret of not being able to say "I love you!"?!
You might ask, why am I saying all this! I'm doing fine!
Listen, I was fine because I always knew that you were well without me.

But today, after all these years, seeing tears in your eyes, I don't feel like living anymore! I just keep thinking, if only I could bring back your smile in exchange for everything!
For me, being well has only one meaning: your smile.
Five. ...though the haters will say, you monkey, that giraffe behind you is way smarter than you, and yet here I am sitting in front of a deer!! Jealousy is a bit much, fine; but does that mean you'll even get the name of such a familiar animal wrong!!

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Calling a monkey Hanuman! You people are truly strange... exceedingly strange!!
Six. Sometimes, in your life, some unexpected or bad things happen that you do not deserve but you do need.
Seven. Sometimes, even the shoe on one's foot happily imagines itself to be a hat on the head. That's not bad either; everyone wins in their own way! Some win by becoming, others by imagining!
Eight. I don't keep you,

yet you remain...
Nine. Anyway, after Facebook went down, that long meeting I had with Zuckerberg on Messenger video call last night finally paid off. I'm very pleased to have saved you all from certain death. This human birth of mine is truly fulfilled!
I couldn't properly tackle your skilled call, so I couldn't wear the kurta properly. My head is spinning, so I'm convincing myself to laugh at your face and take your sins again. Everyone will look at me first. I sing, many will come and say, I'm sitting in a chair, the law has no value of my memory with you. But I love you, I love you, so I'll repeatedly count your sins and bring forgiveness and relief. Don't get angry with me, when I see your sickness, tears come to my eyes, the morning issue is resolved.
**Ten.** Many, many thanks to the Facebook authorities for giving us the opportunity to sleep properly for at least one night. We had assumed there was no point in staying alive in this world anymore. But no, now Facebook has returned. If we stay alive, we'll get plenty of likes now.
If you want to become great, keep your hand not on a great person's shoulder or neck, but near the dust of their feet. (Completely personal opinion. Please share if you have a different philosophy.)
**Thought: Eight Hundred Eighty**

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**One.** Small people become big by making themselves small.

Big people become big by being big.
**Two.** Against my will,

every day, toward my boss

I look with loving eyes.
Yet even with a heart full of pure love,

I cannot find you to look at.
The one I don't want

dangles before my eyes.

The one I want

stays wrapped inside photographs.
**Three.** When I had raised lantern upon lantern of rain across the sky...
Tonight again I'll raise them...balloon-rain!!
**Four.** I wish for peace for people of all communities in this world.
**Five.** 1. Brother, do you also have disappointment like me in your heart?

2. Brother, don't speak like that.

3. We want the old Sushanta da back.

4. Such behavior from a government official is truly unseemly, you should apologize!

5. If you had been born a woman in this society, you would understand, brother!

6. Doesn't your wife say anything to you?

7. Don't forget, pride is the root of downfall.

8. Why do you write about your ex even though you're married?

9. Do you think we don't know why you were transferred to Bandarban?

10. (This is for you...write an entertaining sentence from the comment threads of my various posts.)

Rabindranath Tagore said, reading comments keeps the mind well.
**Six.** Dogs sometimes suddenly start chasing cars when they see them on the street...pointlessly, for no reason! But only up to that chasing! Though sometimes they get run over while chasing!
The person in the car looks silently at the dog, enjoys it.
Haven't you noticed this?
**Seven.** Brother, you don't need to keep dogs; some people give more service than dogs—even without being kept, they roam around behind you all the time. At least dogs need to be fed occasionally, but these ones don't need anything. They just roam and look for openings!
The difference is: a dog's service comes from loyalty, while theirs comes from annoyance.
**Eight.** It's actually better to be deceived! Then there are no more barriers, inhibitions, or pull-backs. Sometimes this very act of being deceived is called liberation. This liberation is freedom from all the invisible chains of the mind. Who could be happier than one who doesn't need to bind themselves?!
**Nine.** I'm that sky you wanna touch!
**Ten.** Not always you need to get prepared!
**Eleven.** We can do any of these three things:
We can form a small welfare trust in memory of those close to us who have died and stand beside helpless people.
If we have little time, we can stand beside some organization with financial support without creating an organization ourselves.
We can stand beside such humanitarian organizations, investing our precious time in their cause. 
With support through money, time, counsel and such assistance, if more and more such trusts could be established in every locality, they would serve countless marginalized people. Experience tells us that the well-wishers of the departed soul also find great joy in remembering him this way. A kind of beautiful feeling is born in everyone.
God does not give to all. Those to whom He gives bear the responsibility of standing beside the destitute, regardless of caste, creed, or color. Let everyone be invited to this great festival of joy in the world. Come, let us extend our hands to clasp other hands.
I felt great relief to participate in distributing some blankets and winter clothes among the poor at the memorial meeting for Master April Banoyari, the late father of my friend Mintu-da, who is married to my younger sister Lipa. This year's beginning was in Netrokona, starting from Chengni village...
Twelve. In Chengni village,

On misty mornings...

On night hills,

At barbecue feasts!
Thirteen. The magnificent Someshwari at twilight's end, seen from the bridge!
...No, that distant arrangement of lights is not the eternal pattern of boats awakening on the evening river's breast. Those lights bear witness to the existence of hungry trucks. They have come to extract sand, digging into the river's flesh and bone.
The special characteristic of this sand is that it is granular and thick in form. When sunlight falls upon the sand, it glitters intensely. As far as I remember, I had seen sand of such unique quality only on the banks of the Jadukatha river. Ah, what an enchanting river that was!
Sand extraction continues...day and night, night and day.
Fourteen. Peace is much more important than love. Love is nothing, peace is everything.
Fifteen. There is no greater torment than receiving love from a senseless person! Even the hatred of a sensible person is more comforting than the love of a fool.
Thoughts: Eight Hundred Eighty-One

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One. You played a game of love with me. Had you won, I would have been yours. Because you lost, you became mine for life. Beloved, why didn't I understand before that there is such joy in losing?! Why did I win that day only to lose so terribly for the rest of my life!?
Two. Love...?
It is that ocean of peace, and there is only one way to cross that ocean: to drown in it. The poor soul who doesn't drown is the very one who drowns and dies!
Don't come to tell me fairy tales that love truly survives where there is no peace.
Three. In the whirlpool of busyness...this is quite good indeed!
Four. To keep yourself and others well in the new year, you might keep two small techniques in mind:
Technique 1. If you have nothing good to say about someone, keep your mouth shut; don't say anything bad. No one has started their year hoping to drink water after washing your negative certificate. Stop giving unsolicited, unpaid lectures; remember that no matter what level of person you are, you too have some self-respect. Shame is human ornament; to live, one must feel some shame, so if you have no shame, try to create some!
Technique 2. No matter how perfect you are or think yourself to be, don't judge anyone about anything. Let whoever wishes to walk whatever path they choose. The person who doesn't bother you about your path—bothering them about their path is a sign of foolishness. Even if someone walks the wrong path, what is it to you, brother?! Who are you to forcibly decide which path is right and which is wrong? It's more important to become a good person yourself than to make someone else good. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to understand this!
May the new year pass well.
Five. A person gives everything to someone from whom they have nothing to gain; yet that same person refuses to give anything to the one from whom they wish to receive much! What happens then is that people waste time chasing after the wrong person while losing the right one who was within reach.
Six. When you want something from someone who doesn't know you and they refuse to give it to you, it's your fault. You can't expect anything from anyone who doesn't feel your necessity in your own way. First create that feeling, the rest will follow. This world is not a restaurant, people here are not the waiters. Seek not, suffer not.
Seven. The problem is, even if someone were to place all the sorrows of this world upon my heart right now, that feeling wouldn't work within me for very long. Yes, my capacity to feel pain has grown so dull. I desperately want someone to give me a kind of suffering I have never experienced before—one that would create an intense spark within me! I want this so badly, but nothing ever happens!
Even if I were thrown out onto the street with a shove right now, I would sleep peacefully there too. I have nothing, yet it doesn't bother me at all—I've reached such a terrible state! I need these feelings of pain, because a person without feeling cannot accomplish anything! They don't even truly experience peace!
Eight. If you remain dishonest with one person while being honest with the rest of the world, then every time you approach that one person, they will know you as dishonest and speak to you with that in mind.
No matter how much you try, without changing your behavior or actions toward them, you cannot become honest in their eyes. You will remain known as a hypocrite to them for life. If people don't take action, mere words change nothing.
The same person appears different to different people depending on time and circumstance.
The real point is this: how you want to appear in someone's eyes, or how much you value them as a person, determines your thoughts and behavior. If you don't value someone, it doesn't matter to you if they see you as dishonest or hypocritical. You can live perfectly well carrying those labels from them.
Stop chasing after and hurling judgmental pronouncements at someone who places no value whatsoever on your words!
Reflection: Eight Hundred Eighty-Two
One. Most of those who follow me don't want to see posts about literature, wandering, fun, music, movies, philosophy, psychology, love and romance, and such things. What do they want? Motivation, motivation, and nothing but motivation! I've become a whole tin can of motivation! They want it so desperately that motivational posts escape their busy attention altogether! Their busyness grants them no leisure! Idle people, busier than most... Then, wounded by sorrow, pain, and resentment, they descend upon my wall like swarms of locusts, in droves, to play teacher! When I couldn't learn anything myself, today I'll teach no matter what! This is the side effect of becoming pregnant with the burden of knowledge! They remain idle before asking me for motivation, they remain idle even after receiving motivation from me. Alas! What are all these symptoms of, really? I can't understand anything at all!
Mama mama... look, look... brother has become so rotten lately, doesn't give even a tiny bit of motivation! Waaahhh...
By the way, I'm sharing links to several of my motivational posts in the comments of this post for your convenience. Let another year begin with your fully-charged battery!!
Two. Down with people of judgmental attitude, may people of healthy mindset be liberated!
Happy 2022!
Three. The most powerful sentence that can save your life is: LEAVE AND MOVE ON!
Four. Lately, before exams, people knock on my door asking for prayers. I feel like a complete holy man, a saint! Never in my life have I knocked on anyone's door asking for prayers, which is why I failed so spectacularly in honors!