The Peace of Solitude

Your physical form is utterly wretched, absolutely vile! This body is nothing but illusion! Anyone who falls into this illusion dies! And if that person happens to possess a sacred body and soul, then they die for an entire lifetime! Then nothing remains that they can call their own!

Only you roam within me! My heart yearns only to love your illusion-wrapped form! Day and night, I want to drown myself in you! Just loving feels good! Feeling even better! When I open my eyes, even if you're not there, the moment I close them, chaos erupts in my body and mind! So close to my breath—a pair of enchanting eyes, an incomparably beautiful face, a beard covering your mouth, a mysterious gentle smile... and your breath—a living body, forever intertwined with my naked form! It feels as if two bodies, two souls have merged together, becoming one!

Each breath of yours makes my entire being tremble! Your voice, your sound rings constantly in my ears... You keep saying... say it, I love you; say it, say it now, or I won't let you go!

One night spent with you felt like the joy of millions of nights. The entire world had stopped... only your voice echoed in my ears; I was intoxicated by our union!

How can I forget all this from my body and mind, can you tell me?

Suddenly you stopped speaking, you severed our connection almost completely! You forgot our relationship! You never once thought about how the other person would survive this sudden distance amidst all this!

Yet see, this wretched heart of mine still holds love for you. In the grief of not having you as a friend... and in waiting...!
I could neither convince my own heart nor explain to anyone else—the anguish within me!

I just kept waiting...
Waiting for your call!
Waiting for better times!
Alas, when will better times ever come!

I always think, it didn't have to be this way! If I hadn't found you in my life, the intensity of this pain would have been much less than what I'm experiencing now—having found you only to lose you! Sometimes I wonder, did I ever truly have you at all?

I want to be a little happy, but even that is denied to me. Constantly, for one reason or another, melancholy grips me, creating anguish in my chest! Breathing becomes incredibly difficult; I just think, rather than enduring this pain, wouldn't it be better if this breath just stopped—why hasn't it stopped yet!

Believe me, I want liberation... from this unbearable torment!
I want eternal peace... just the peace of solitude...