The Luxury of Solitude

Solitude—what vast luxury! I had neither the means nor the opportunity for such indulgence, yet captivated by solitude's spell, I was nearly touching death itself. Death was barely ten seconds away!

I understood clearly: once I touched death, I too would have my own private world—a world filled with the silence of infinite space.

Just thinking of it brings such rapture that my eyes close involuntarily. I feel myself collapsing into the goddess of death's ice-cold embrace. But...when I open my eyes, I see that death has hurled me onto a nearly crumbling concrete slab by the roadside, one leg folded beneath me, my right hand almost touching the filthy drain water. How hideous, how utterly hideous!

Sometimes I've found my weary, exhausted self flung upon mother's pristine white bed. Opening my eyes, before I can understand where I am, I see death casting a contemptuous glance and asking, "How dare you try to touch me while clinging to the god of life?"

I gather all my strength and call to the goddess...give me a little death, mother! I crave that luxury—the luxury of solitude!