1. What is this stuff you write, bhai? What absolute rubbish! Is this what I follow you for? Give us some motivation if you can!
2. Bhai, did you have wet rice today? Or dry rice?
3. Bhai, please, teach me English. Start a coaching center, bhai...oh bhai!
4. I've fallen for you, Sushanto, That's why my heart feels so restless, oh. You're love's vast pacific ocean, Oops, I forgot to add the potion.
I also write poetry for you. Tell me, how was it...tell me?
5. How much more will you take in bribes? Your belly's starting to talk these days too.
6. Brother, I'm in class three, my girlfriend is in "the big grade." How do I tell if she's a virgin or not?
7. Brother, when you come to Sirajganj again, I want to sit on your lap, hug you tight, kiss you and take a selfie. Please, brother, please! I love you, brother.
8. Bhai, why do you buy the same kurta in so many colors? I thought you were smart!
9. Hey you, rice prices went up by eight and a half paise per kilo, but you didn't say anything about that! You're nothing but an opportunistic schemer!
10. Why are you going crazy over football? You don't even understand the game! Damn, total show-off!
11. Uncle, please, forget these online seminars and teach math classes online. I don't understand compound interest and profit calculations.
12. Brother only replies to pretty girls on WhatsApp. Ugh...I wish I could be a girl for just one hour!
13. Hey you...yes, I'm talking to you, what's with this urge to sing all the time! My voice is like Salman Khan's too, but do you see me singing whenever I feel like it?
14. Every time I open Facebook, it's just this guy's annoying face, and I can't even unfollow him because he occasionally says something good. Oh, what torment, torment, torment in my heart...
15. What's up, random poet-saheb, have you forgotten how to write poetry?
16. Brother, every word you say pierces my heart! I feel like either digging into the ground and hiding right now, or flying away somewhere far!
17. Brother, I'm married, got married three hours ago. In this situation, can I still take the BCS exam?
18. Wishing you a happy World Engineers' Day. Say, don't you have any engineer girlfriends? I mean, I may be older but I still look young. If you could give me the number of some beautiful, tall, young, sweet-voiced engineer girlfriend who's divorced, frustrated, can't-get-married or can't-find-a-guy type, I could make her happy.
19. You haven't given any blood-stirring speech in a long time, I've noticed. Hmph.
20. Government employees show off so much, I die of shame watching them. That's exactly why I don't work for the government.
21. Why don't you get married, tell me? I can't sleep worrying about you.
22. Someone brilliant like you should have been at "Kembridge" University.
23. Why do you understand so much? Why do you have to talk so much? What's your problem? Can't you stay quiet? Look at me, do I talk this much?
24. You're a damn fool. Smart people like your posts but don't read them. Like me.
25. After hearing you, my stupid wife has started studying again. Tell me, if my family breaks up, who'll take responsibility, you bastard?
26. Do you do prayers and stuff? Or have you given up on religion? No worries about what happens after death?
27. Just looking at you, anyone can tell humans were once monkeys.
28. Give us a shortcut syllabus, bhai. Only six years left for the job age limit.
29. I've studied so much, and I'm starting to realize I won't get a job. Bhai, could you give me some blessed water? I believe if you just blow on it with your blessed mouth, it'll work.
30. Even sitting in the office all day, what do you do online, huh? Do you even have a job? Or is it gone?
31. Why do you take selfies sitting in cars? What are you trying to prove? I have a raw toilet at home too. Do you see me posting pictures of myself taking a dump on Facebook?