The Inner and Outer Worlds of Mood and Mind

1. Think of a friend of yours who has considerable brains, or who possesses vast knowledge. Even though you're the same age, you haven't managed to acquire even a quarter of that knowledge, and perhaps won't even if you spend the rest of your life trying. Look around—you must have at least one such friend. You won't need to search much, really; such exceptional people carry a luminous glow on their faces that makes them recognizable from afar. Yes, that's the one! Now observe them closely. Perhaps they'll dance at some stage show just for fun or on a whim. They can't actually dance—they're simply not dancers. So when they perform, watch carefully: maybe they're heavy-set with poor dress sense, and altogether it might look like a whole elephant dancing with anklets on! Do you know what's most interesting here? Even though their dancing is terrible, you'll watch attentively, and it won't seem all that bad to you. You won't be able to ignore their awful performance even if you try. You'll think, well, their dancing is quite good too! What's the reason? That gray matter! And believe me, gray matter really matters! When an Einstein plays piano, that's what counts; how well he plays the piano is irrelevant. This is why poets reading their own poetry is so popular, though except for Joy Goswami, I haven't seen any other Bengali poet recite their own work well. I've seen a few others perhaps, but can't recall their names right now. Have you ever heard Sunil's voice reciting "Keu kotha rakheni"?

2. Suppose someone once had many lovers, and they're quite happy with their current partner—at least in excellent shape physically. But without wanting to, they'll mentally compile a list of all these people, determining who among them loved them most selflessly. They'll inevitably arrive at such a comparison. Humans must return to this love; there's no alternative. Where else would a person go if not back to love! Many people confuse sex with love. Some say love isn't complete without sex; others claim sex has no meaning without love. There's much disagreement about this, which is natural. But here's the thing: comparing sex with love is foolish. Sex is a basic need, like eating or sleeping. Love occupies an entirely different space. One can exist perfectly well without the other. Let me give you an example. After having sex with their partner all year long, a person still mentally searches for that beloved with whom contact has been lost, or for whom the opportunity for contact no longer exists. Even after waiting all year, if you got just ten minutes to talk with that person, you wouldn't let it go. A brief phone call, even just a few minutes, or simply getting an answer to "How are you?"—just that much! It would feel like receiving something immense. So these two things really can't be compared. But if you must compare them, if you must know which comes first and which second, and if you have the honest courage to find out, then compare those ten minutes with the three hundred sixty-five days. Does that clarify anything?

3. Often, you might try very sincerely to explain to someone what's good for them. You'll give detailed arguments explaining why this is good for them and why that isn't. Very few people will accept such advice. We're such that when someone comes and gives good counsel, we mostly just laugh it off. Anyway, then they'll try to explain with their "logic" why that thing is or isn't good for them. Suppose you said, "This boy isn't good for you, think about someone else instead." In response, they'll give this "logic": "Well brother, why is your hair color so awful? It doesn't suit you at all! Why aren't you thinking about that?" Or suppose you tell them, "Do well in your results, otherwise..." They'll interrupt you: "Sister, you've had a breakup, haven't you?" I mean, when you try to explain someone's good with logic, you'll hear things that have absolutely no relation to the topic. And they call such lame logic counter-arguments! Can you believe it? When such thoughts arise, you'll want to think—let everyone ruin themselves as they please!

4. If your friend is contemplating revenge against their beloved or loved one for some small or large mistake, flee from there immediately. Your friend could murder you at any moment. Someone who can harm their beloved or loved one is capable of killing anyone.

5. If a woman's pride lies in her skin, then a man's pride lies in his wallet. After a certain time, that woman can't bring back her former skin or lost youth even with money, while a man, despite throwing away piles of money, can't conquer loneliness after a certain point. "How beautiful I once was, how many men's heads I turned!" and "How much money do you need, take it! Do I lack money?" Notice how helpless the woman or man who makes these boastful claims eventually becomes! What does this actually mean? In the end, there's no alternative path to being a good person. Beauty or wealth cannot ultimately keep a person at peace.

6. Throughout the day, the people you interact with, talk to on the phone, or merely text with while sitting at home, the person you're in love with, and so on—by day's end, you absorb their habits. Their manner of speaking, even the casual curses they use will start coming from your mouth, even if you're someone who perhaps never swore in your life! You won't understand how these things happen. Most people are influenced directly or indirectly by those they spend time with.

7. If you could sincerely, lovingly, and laboriously continue doing your work throughout your life, after death there would be not just a few people but many to remember you. Humans want to be immortal, yet waste their lives being lazy.

8. Everyone in the world wants to have sex, directly or indirectly. But they won't admit it openly. This is where humans resort to the most hypocrisy. This has always been the case and continues now. So what do they say instead? Something very simple and acceptable: "I love you." Where saying "I want to sleep with you" would make someone fly into a rage, soft romantic talk makes them lovingly pull you to their chest. After the need is fulfilled, the love story ends too. When wiping lips with tissue, people don't unfold the tissue carefully, but after wiping, they crumple and throw away that same carefully-kept tissue. If we learned to easily accept or reject the direct truth, we'd be saved from much suffering that comes disguised as love. When someone shares our bed in love's name, we can't forget them for life even after they leave; yet we can never forgive someone whom we once severely mistreated for directly proposing to share our bed. Until humans learn to accept or reject sexuality as easily as love, the worthless buying and selling of sexuality at love's high price will continue. To stay well, keep love and sexuality in two separate folders in your mind's laptop, so they don't appear together when you open a folder. Remember, if you don't yet have the mental maturity to hear the letter 'S', then someone will come whining the letter 'L' in front of your ears and skillfully drag you toward that 'S'. Of course, in that case, you won't need to be dragged—you'll jump and leap happily into the great joy of 'S'! What then? You won't even realize when the letter 'B' comes and kicks you away! When storing in computer folders, you keep "If this path never ends..." and "Don't extinguish the wedding chamber's lamp..." in separate folders, yet when storing in life's folder, you put both in the same folder! Bravo! The word 'sorrow' in the dictionary exists just for you!

9. If you're the type of person who compromises on everything, try reducing your compromising from today and see how many people leave you! People don't like you—they like your sacrifices. Goal achieved, person vanished! This is human nature.

10. The deeper a woman's lipstick color, the deeper her sufferings. She covers her pale white lips with dark orange-pink, and conceals her dark circles with glittering eyeshadow. Similarly, the more chaotic a man's life becomes with suffering, the more perfectly pressed his shirts and kurtas remain. You can never know a person's heart by looking at their external appearance. Those whose minds are messy are the most tidy on the outside. Do you know how such people differ from others? They have sorrows like everyone else—actually more than others—but they know how to shake hands with sorrow and live life.