The House of Desire

 
How I long to shrink you, beloved, small as my thumb!
Then keep you in this heart's hollow... you wouldn't flee then, would you?
Or would you rage so fierce you'd kill me outright?
Or would you grant me a sliver of new life?
These bonds that bind this heart — would you loose them
one by one, and give me a little peace? Hold me bound in your embrace?


If you won't, truly I tell you, I can bear this weight of pain no more!
When your whole being descends upon these shoulders,
you come with an invisible body from the heart's most secret place,
and with you comes love's twin — separation, joy braided with sorrow...
I writhe and think: better death than such love!


I pray you live far longer than I!
For I have come... to die loving you,
I suffer, and still you remain silent,
you think so much farther than I can fathom...
I have come to die seeing all this!


Whether I'm well or ill,
both times pass in your company.
I speak so much, yet you stay quiet,
that too is good... knowing your neglect, I keep you close!


Why not say it now...
This rascal! Get away from me!
Don't torment me so!
Can't you see I'm working?
Are you blind?
...Why so silent? Just say it!


I know you're quick to anger...
Let me tell you something...
Listen a moment!
When you call me beggar,
how sweet it sounds!
Though I'm a beggar, I've kept you like a king!
This is where I triumph!


When I truly love, I let them win!
I become beggar to them, seat them on the throne!


Here I am, speaking to you
and speaking still... won't you say a word?
I stand here waiting... will you turn and look?
Like a true king, with one grunt you hurl me far away!
I take that very sound and bind it tenderly with love!


Here I am, always intruding,
seeking excuses to talk with you,
and you keep thinking,
why is this mad girl like this?
Always hunting for excuses to chat!
Where do I have such time?
This mad thing, so strange...
Let her die... what does it matter!
Let her stay mad, a fool!


Do you think hearing this I'll run away?
What are you saying! I know
this is exactly how it should be!
Today my beloved is becoming king,
truly wonderful to see!
Every king needs a beggar...
so let me be that beggar!