Some Courtesy

Come, let us learn some courtesy.

When someone answers "How many siblings do you have?" by saying they have two/three/four sisters, don't follow up with "No brothers?" Such questions are a form of tactlessness. If they didn't mention brothers, it means they don't have any—you don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure that out. A minimum level of IQ will do, the kind even a goat possesses.

They might be perfectly happy with just their sisters, and your "Oh dear, no brothers?" kind of thoughtless remarks, even if they don't create regret, will surely cause irritation. Were you born just to annoy people?

When you learn that someone has no father, asking "How do you manage then?" borders on outright rudeness. The all-knowing Bengali, lacking common sense, unknowingly commits such improprieties and annoys others.

The thing is, if you can't take responsibility for everything the way a father would in his absence, then asking "How do you manage without a father?" only proves your foolishness. However they manage, they're not living off your money or your father's, are they?

This single question of yours might be the reason that boy or girl sinks into deep melancholy that night—something you'll never know. This trivial question will plant infinite sorrow in their heart about not having a father. Perhaps they won't be able to sleep all night from the pain, and you'll never know. Why inflict this damage on someone you can't help, or could help but won't? Are you even human?

If someone hasn't married yet, asking them "Why haven't you married?" and if someone delays marriage, asking "When will you marry?" is pure boorishness and overstepping boundaries. Is your sexual prowess diminishing because they haven't married? Or are you shamelessly reminding them, "Don't forget to invite me to your wedding!"? Don't you have money in your pocket? Even if you don't, what's the problem? You could beg and still manage a meal. Why are you bothering them unnecessarily?

Whether someone will marry or not, whether they consider marriage necessary at all—these are entirely personal matters. On what grounds are you repeatedly annoying and embarrassing them with such questions? Do you have no sense? Or do you have sense, but you're just thoughtless and rude?

Perhaps they haven't married for some personal reason, or maybe they never will. It's possible they have no interest in marriage at all. It's their life, not yours. They want to arrange their life according to their own grammar, not yours. Maybe they have no desire to choose a life of perpetual unhappiness just to please family members, the way you might have sunk into marital misery! Whether they die unmarried or get destroyed—where's your problem in that?

When someone builds a career in their preferred sector, don't impose yourself boorishly asking, "Oh my, didn't you take the BCS? Why didn't you go for government jobs?" or "Why aren't you doing business? That sector isn't good, this sector isn't suitable for you!" Don't display such random wisdom and expose yourself as an ox. Better to stay quiet—then no one will know you're an ox. Their life, their living. They don't eat your food or wear your clothes. I know understanding what personality means might be difficult for you; at least try to understand what shame is.

Since the battle of life is theirs, so are the decisions. They might be quite happy in their sector, perhaps happier than you are in yours. Were we all born just to take BCS exams? It's possible your comments hurt someone's self-respect. Maybe they tried desperately to build a career in a beloved sector but couldn't make it in the end, and you're reopening that wound! You can't help, but you come to increase their pain? Inhuman wretch!

Look brother, since you've become human, keep a little humanity and common sense in your pocket along with money, follow some necessary etiquette. All this foolishness and senselessness of yours complicates some people's lives; living becomes very difficult for them. You just say it and move on! Not everyone can digest or ignore nonsensical talk.

There are fundamental differences between animals and humans. If you don't know them, Google and find out. Just as you can't be human without sense, without common sense, humans sometimes become worse than animals. At least maintain this much difference between animals and humans. Under the pressure of our knowledge and certificates, common sense is constantly weeping.

Come, let us learn some courtesy. If we can't learn much else, let's at least learn this: what would hurt me if someone did it to me, I will never do to anyone else.