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Solo Indecision

What remains are unfinished conversations...
fragments of hurt and tender pride linger on.
What's lost are loves nearly brought to fullness…
only the untimely hour bears witness to these deep wounds.

Beloved, you never knew...
that your very ailment burns like fire within me!

If you could understand me, even for a moment…
you wouldn't come seeking fault at this final address.
On my wet petals, the grief and curses of endings,
across my courtyard, only the heat and torment of sighs.

Ah, if only you could understand
how much love has gathered even in your absence!
Oh, if only once you would...!

Know this: what it feels like to sink into the quicksand of relationships—
I never came here with the slightest desire to explain that to you.

This wall around our closeness, built from some solitary conflict,
perhaps I wanted to tear down a little, sometimes—but that doesn't mean
I'm the kind of lover who, in the name of representing
a brigade of caterpillars,
would choose you as a tool for boundless striving!
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