Silent Dialogues of Clouds

 
Today feels so good. For the first time you wrote to me,
'I really miss you!'
This is a different kind of achievement for me, a different kind of receiving.
I have always wished from my heart
that someday you would say you miss me!


How long I've waited to hear
something like this from you — I could never make you understand.
Today some kind of peace has settled in my chest.
Stay well, stay beautiful.


Let me tell you something. It's a bit serious. Listen carefully.
Never love me —
let only me love you.
If you start loving me,
the fear of losing you will take root in me.
Living will become terribly painful then.


When two people love each other,
someone, sometime... surely gets lost!
Or they drift apart for one reason or another.
How people love and then drift apart again —
I still can't quite understand this,
but I've seen it happen so many times.
So never love me.


I can live without your love,
but I cannot live without you.
I don't want to lose you —
just give me the right to love you.
That will be enough for me!


Whether I'm alive or after I die,
remain mine.
I don't want to lose you under any circumstances.


When you call me sometimes these days,
I feel more fear than joy.
In that moment nothing else remains in my head but your face.
I only think —
what if I say something wrong, what if you get annoyed,
what if you never call me again, then what will happen?


So I'm telling you, don't make me used to anything with you.
Only those born with great fortune get the privilege of having you.
I truly don't have that much luck.
I know this. Don't make me stray from what I know.
If I stray, when I have to return here again someday
it will hurt me terribly.


Sometimes I imagine
you're lying a breath's distance away,
and I'm touching you intimately. Then
I truly hear the sound of your breathing,
I want to hold you close,
want to fill your whole body with kisses,
I really want to have you so much then...


I never do! That's probably better!
I often tremble at the nightmare
that I'll have you and then lose you.
So when I get even a little time or attention from you,
I become restless with fear!
Can you imagine what would happen if I got your love?
...Stay well.