Seeing the Eyes of Nights Yet to Come

 
 Seven.
 I have soaked my heart in ocean waters,
 understood through pure feeling
 how deeply, even at a single drop,
 your disgust runs!
 Nothing more—
 never does even one drop of you remain with me,
 not even by accident of mind!
 You know, this shock is such
 that it cuts through everything inside!
  
 Drunk on those two lips of yours
 I wake at midnight,
 thinking only of your saliva
 to kiss away a lifetime!
 In the folds of this helpless chest of mine
 burn and give me
 the illness of happiness,
 let that familiar face
 spread across my ribs!
  
 In the fragrance of your broad
 tender-soft
 chest,
 waves rise
 in the dead's heart!
 Ah, what lies within that spell
 that I forget everything....
 I convince myself, turn away; return again!
 What can I do, tell me! I cannot forget you!
  
 One who never came near you—
 how does he simply move away?
 And how does he return?
 I understand nothing!
 Last night when the black sky trembled in storm,
 then I very much......
 No......nothing at all!
  
 Eight.
 Lovers, sometimes,
 understand exactly
 how fragile they are
 before you...
 They say nothing out of shame,
 only hide and live
 in the shadow of touch-me-not leaves!
 That touch-me-not, in deeper shame,
 shrinks, flees.
 Unable to bear even
 the slight pressure of touch-me-not's tiny leaves,
 lovers keep trembling,
 falling drop by drop, plip-plop-plunk!
 In weary bodies they think in exhaustion:
 where will they hide now!
  
 Nine.
 No such virtue, alas,
 has been done
 that would let me remain well
 in that world!
 There is a world after death,
 I'll live joyfully in that world—
 with this excuse, in this world
 before dying, I live in vain!
  
 Between these two worlds
 lies
 the dark world called grave,
 everyone says
 that world is quite terrible!
  
 None of these three worlds
 can be given
 even a little deception...
  
 Every day I think,
 truly this time I'll do something
 to remain well in all three worlds!
  
 I don't know
 when that day will come
 when everything will be well!
 I deeply wish
 that day were today, right now!
 But it doesn't happen......
  
 Days pass like this,
 yet that day never comes!
 Let those two worlds remain aside,
 if this world passes well,
 the other two will form themselves!
  
 Ten.
 I go gazing at the sky,
 go floating away in imagination....
 Listen...hey!
 All this feelingless consciousness
 kept inside you
 just for me—
 have you tinged it with blue's glow?
 Is that why I see so much blue
 playing blue on blue across the sky's body?
 Or have you given it green?
 That's why, I think, surrounding nature
 is so dazzling and unknowing!
  
 Understanding everything,
 I want most of all
 to become
 unknowing!
 Whether nature
 loves or despises him—
 the rainbow still remains perfectly in seven colors!
  
 If the ocean roars,
 the sea remains silent,
 the river speaks up: O, say something,
 comes the gentle smiling explanation: if you speak, you'll lose yourself!
  
 Eleven.
 Here......5 minutes! I'm calling!
 In 5 minutes hours roll into weeks,
 then months, then years......
 Even if five whole years come in 5 minutes, what does it matter?
 Doubt says, why would you call? What's the obligation?
 I go silent! Some answers have no questions.
  
 All the atoms, molecules
 of the world,
 everything
 so mixed with selfishness
 I truly can't even breathe!
 Ah, if I could go outside this world
 and breathe deep with full chest and return!
  
 Yet strange is this bit of living—swallowing even a little selfishness,
 otherwise one can't survive!
 This world gives no place to the selfless,
 they must float away in heavy salt water to distant unknowns.
  
 Twelve.
 This fold of fingers in your hair....
 Have you forgotten, Shanu?
 Saying you'd return again
 but never coming back!
 Even today I wait watching the path
 at the road's bend......
 Oh, I understand everything!
 I'm an unlucky, useless person,
 who keeps track of me, tell me!
  
 You took this heart, took the body too,
 you alone took my very life!
 I try to enter your heart...
 immediately I see—
 another queen reigns there!
  
 All the intoxication now only on lips,
 the eyes are gone, that burnt bird!
 Let the lips not go away,
 let those mistaken eyes go!
  
 Some dawns exist that never see night,
 some nights exist that never find dawn.
 The black owl waits from when evening ends hoping for night,
 one drop of midnight dew survives only because dawn will come.
  
 Let night end and dawn break,
 let dawn pass and morning dance,
 let morning roll and evening descend,
 ......dusk or night—let it save me!