Rising to Life Again

These days I live with stones pressed against my chest, but I live... that's what matters most.
I eat measured portions, sleep measured hours, take measured selfies... this too is quite something.
I can't stay up nights, can't find time for tea... for me, this is undeniably significant.
I need no one's company, feel no longing, no bodily desire... this is no small thing either.

And the small things are these:
These days I've learned to embrace myself bit by bit, to love myself,
I've finally grasped the difference between Facebook love and real love, late though it may be.

I've returned once more to those stories and poems...
My Sunil-Humayun have brought me back again to girlhood.

I've learned now to dress up, to drape a saree, just for myself,
How to let every moment float in joy—I've taught myself through practice, over and over.

I've given up rice and sugar to stay healthy.
I'm even going to the gym these days!
I find pleasure in loving,
I delight in falling in love constantly;
The fear of losing myself is gone,
I know how to be lost without losing, how to lose without being lost.
These days I even like green tea... ha ha ha!

I like everything, I can tolerate everyone.
I've heard many can't tolerate me—heard it and promptly forgotten!
What's the point of remembering all that! How would I even live?

I have come alive, I have come alive again,
and to me...
this is no small matter at all!