Return to Enchanted Consciousness-2

 Seven.
 Feelings—heed no bounds,
 emotions—hear no restraints,
 these two wayward children of the mind—this is how the heart endures.
 Today I pray not to be well, but that whatever is needed to be well, however much—let it be so, just that much—this prayer.
 Let relationships last exactly as long—as brings two people to an understanding of how to be well in their own ways.
 In this remote village, on such a peaceful enchanted morning,
 a little girl comes daily, leaves a single red rose and goes.
 In this causeless selfless love, some sorrows take flight!
 In this changing hands of love, the heart whispers only—life is beautiful...
 Sometimes how the river carries you,
 sometimes its waterless trace carries you away,
 in water's such intensity the mind's body perhaps escapes alive,
 yet in that line's sharpness, blood streams secretly flow...
 In time's rushing...time weary...
 In time's waiting...time restless...
  
 Everything else...all else
 let remain distant—there in that distance,
 only with eyes fixed on eyes today
 to quench this thirst of sight
 ages and centuries will pass
 how effortlessly!
 Fierce sun burns in sunlight,
 today rain whispers—I'm coming, wait for me!
 Nature exceeds her bounds—
 every moment—in beauty!
 I too, alas, lose myself—
 drown shame—increase sorrow!
 Before you I draw myself,
 loving thus I honor love,
 not knowing myself I know you.
 However much you humiliate me,
 push me away forgetting respect,
 still be well in your own way,
 I am well, will remain well.
 You distribute pain without cost,
 I buy pain with life.
 Pain in mind, smile on lips,
 this is my being well—forgetting everything—honor, dishonor.
 I know you live, yet I say, you too live wonderfully well.
  
 Eight.
 Still I am therefore,
 with unblinking eyes I gaze,
 in hidden corners weep silently in quiet pain,
 yet in secret I shield you.
 Weigh all these words carefully that day,
 when you can't find me—feel around even in forgetfulness!
 Wringing out anguish, I live in sorrow by happiness's spell,
 everyone says life is quite precious,
 I wonder, what's precious? Life, or, you and I?
 Settle this someday,
 when I'll go away in hurt, far away.
 How are you?
 What need to want to know?
 A thousand questions carelessly—found freedom,
 why do you keep that tiny kite-string
 tied pointlessly to your sky?
 Why not release even that small burden,
 what would come of it?
 What if you freed even 'good morning'?
 Your love-acting is life to me, you know?
 You'll perhaps say, how terribly foolish! When will you learn, which is love, which deception!
 Let me remain foolish with a smile! What can I do, tell me, I love!
  
 Everyone falls so quiet!
 They have nothing to say,
 so they're quiet.
 Then see those others, they have much to say,
 so they're quiet!
 Various reasons in various ways steal words,
 yet we're all still together, destination one!
 Just as words draw near,
 silence too brings—
 distant people very close.
 Let me accept everything,
 nature, alas, accepts nothing!
 When monsoon pours endlessly,
 even then nothing happens,
 waiting becomes restless and troubles terribly sometimes suddenly!
 Distant winter's dewdrop embryo
 why makes the mind yearn? In what dreams? What intoxication?
 Ship of knowledge, can you tell?
 All my sunny mornings—mist-drenched,
 bent moon nights hidden in darkness.
 This happens. Do you understand anything?
  
 Nine.
 Standing at my boundary,
 if I open my eyes, or heart,
 I see nothing else, only him.
 At his boundary he remains,
 no one else.
 Standing there I cannot be seen.
 To myself I say,
 then all day and all the time,
 in the midst of all my work
 all these conversations I have, dreams I see,
 with whom?
 In whose affection, what happiness do I revel?
 Against whom do I feel hurt?
 Why today, alas,
 in self-imposed punishment,
 do I live in pain and weariness!
 With whom then do nights become dawn,
 in which poem's lines?
  
 In all my imaginings, mixing colors in designs,
 who paints colorfully, weaves nets of dream-tales?
 In the stone-built house in my mind
 then who lives in love silently?
 In all this daily salt water I keep floating,
 life only ends in stories, dreams only gather sorrows,
 yet I smile in whose hope?
 Sometimes suddenly in dim breeze,
 what intoxication sways the mind,
 I come, show myself.
 The sharp flute of dirty laughter
 plays, no weariness—everything breaks!
 Duality says, quite good indeed!
 In the gaze that flies from the other shore—
 you won't find yourself.
 Whatever light and shadow plays,
 mind it, handle carefully—your shadow!
 By mistake, alas, I build a home with error—
 seeing this, forgetting sorrow, swallowing pain, I think,
 all is false!
 Seeking truth I arrange life today.
 When everything's organized and done,
 I see returning,
 I've actually made—
 everything chaotic...by calculating!
 Arranging happiness's wares in baskets, peace flees—who understands?
 Great rise, swift fall,
 emotion's sublimation—this is life!
  
 Ten.
 Sitting by the window,
 kissing the tea cup,
 what wonderful rain-dwelling!
 When the urge to leave this world is fierce,
 rain then gives a thousand reasons to live.
 I walk alone on the path
 alone
 melancholy mind,
 leaving the empty path behind
 opening nightmare's eyes to the dream path
 I place steps one by one.
 What's left behind, what's erased
 of weary paths, tired memories'
 familiar emptiness
 the wet mind
 yet why, alas, limps along!
 Suddenly somewhere
 even by mistake for a moment
 if wrong person's shadow meets—
 why does the mind
 weep more! In what delusion!
  
 Rain in mind, lazy dove's sun-noon.
 Lift me to your head a little,
 as I lift you to mine.
 Losing value, raising value, in value's game I lose value!
 I swear, the day I truly take you to my head, see,
 up there on the hundredth floor, rising by lift above the roof,
 I'll caress you, make you say I love you—won't you say?
 Good enough, holding the railing, looking at the street I'll throw you down!
 Know, beloved,
 with restless mind only moment by moment
 all questions crowd in—
 this neglect, contempt and dislike's fierce burning,
 all irritation and such hatred wrapped in unlove,
 in conscious or unconscious swings torment me!
 Let it be! It may well be! Your matter!
 Can the reason be told? Even falsely?
  
 Eleven.
 When you ask, how are you?
 I sit thinking, truly how am I!
 Your pain, my pain—only increases needlessly!
 You don't say much anyway,
 only that one thing needs saying!
 Why not drop even that!
 When you truly want to know how I am,
 nothing else, just send a dot!
 I'll understand perfectly, answer as I please!
 Much time will be saved!
 Give that time to someone dear!
 Make them wonderfully happy!
 I'm happy anyway, father!
 What's the need! Isn't that so?
  
 Even unwillingly if I ever get lost,
 still you
 remain mingled—this plea!
 Whatever's true, let it remain so!
 Let falsehood keep me wrapped like this,
 else tell me what will I live on?
 Know this,
 even if I get lost sometime,
 as long as I remain,
 even if you forget and stay,
 you won't be able to stay as much as I can!
 In the wind I've
 mixed you, in existence's breath...
 Where's your freedom, tell me? What faith do you even think of?
 You'll remain all your life in my touch and care!
 I've fitted sky into you sometime somewhere somehow!
 How will you find freedom, tell me, when my infinite gaze binds so well so fondly?
 In all your silences and tumults—you'll find me!
 Sometimes call out forgetting!
 When no one comes when you extend your hand,
 just look at my hand!
 I promise, if I remain alive, I'll extend it!
 Will you be able to escape from wind, from sky, from the grandeur of sound processions?
 Without hiding in those shelters,
 will you remove existence from this invisible 'me'?
 You're thinking thus and more, the final torment endured, you've survived!—darling, is it that simple?
 Never met you,
 I know, never.
 Never spoke with me
 spending a single letter.
 This too I know, and accept,
 there'll be no meeting, no speaking—
 ever!
 Yet I'll stay beside,
 remain steadfast.
 You're thinking,
 what nonsense am I
 saying? Isn't that so?
 When time comes you'll understand everything,
 that day just tally it all!
  
 Twelve.
 Truly speaking, I don't know what I asked for!
 Without asking, you gave so much!
 Did you understand my capacity to receive?
 Or without understanding anything did you send me away with sorrow-loads instead of empty hands?
 I fear courtesy today!
 When I didn't want the person,
 then what's left to want?
 The pain of wanting and not getting is much...
 But the pain of not being able to want,
 or not wanting,
 do you know?
 Whether I get or don't get, that thought—
 is another matter! But I didn't want at all...yet when...
 If by your reckoning
 I wanted something sky-high,
 I withdraw that claim today!
 Happy now?
 What does lotus live on, tell me,
 besides water?
 It doesn't live on love,
 if it loves water, draws it near,
 only then does the lotus bud bloom!
 The thing loved has value,
 love itself—what's so precious!
 Where will you find rainbow without sky?
 If you love rainbow well,
 love fills fistfuls of sky.
 If you forget sky, tell me,
 will rainbow spread its wings?
 You don't love the tree,
 you live only with flowers!
 Quite good! Leaving the tree, make flowers bloom!
 Flowers that bloom forgetting the tree
 have no life or fragrance.
 However much that flower enchants you with brilliant colors,
 the beauty that keeps the heart alive, how will that beauty be found?
  
 On the seashore
 when time ends, time's timelessness comes
 and embroiders marks with thousand feet's thousand prints.
 The sea's fiercely angry body
 erases them instantly,
 again and again.
 Does that make false
 the joy with which those feet danced in celebration!
 The soft sand's supreme touch's thrill—touched the heart, gave a little smile!
 Whatever you had to say,
 perhaps some of it got said,
 long ago...in empty feeling.
 Whatever I have to say
 will never end—
 I can bet—ever!
 Therefore perhaps,
 all meaningful letters,
 meaningless!
 All meaningless letters,
 in one tired silent deep breath—I keep alive in pride!
 Every moment's feelings so restless!
 I desperately want to give all this to those
 in whose every restlessness my beloved stays still awake.
 I am unwanted. Whatever I feel, or make others feel—is unwanted.
 Let the pain increase as much as it will, I've accepted all falsehood in your mind as truth!
 But does that make the falsehood true?
 Even if it becomes true, will you be able to take it like before?