Regret

Today after so many years, suddenly we meet at New Market!
Your son didn't come? Your daughter? Or your... he didn't come either?
Why did they let you leave home all alone like this?

The questions were there in my mind, but I couldn't find the courage to ask.
Tell me, even today, between you and him... things still haven't worked out?

She who couldn't live without jeans, today wears a sari so beautifully!
I was thinking, in that same way, without saying anything... could I give you... a gentle nudge?

No, let me keep all that to myself! I don't want to say anything more!
You don't want to know anything either, do you?
Even your desire to know how my life passes has dried up today!
...I'm not wrong, am I? Tell me?

Stirring up such a storm of words in my mind, I walked ahead slowly.

- How are you? How are the children? And your... him?
- Oh, what's the news? I'm fine, they're fine too. Tell me about yourself. Why are you here all of a sudden?
- Don't even ask, I'd bought a sari for mother. Mother said it won't do, so I came to exchange it. I came this way... not out of any fondness, you know!
- Oh my, let me see? What a beautiful sari! Though the base color is brown, so it doesn't quite suit Auntie...!

She paused a moment, then said again,
'I see you still speak in that same cutting way! Who can bear it? Has someone new come into your life?'
- Oh, leave all that! I work now, and you ask about someone new? Where do I have the time for that, tell me?
- What! A job? So sir finally had to take charge of the household? You never wanted to work, were so absorbed in business! I was the one always pushing you to get a job!
- Oh... well... that's how it goes! So, what do you do these days? Do you still play piano in your spare time like before?
- What are you saying! With two children and such a big household to manage, do I have that much time left?
- Hey, where are you going? This very shop has such good saris! What do you need? Look... search right here!
- Listen mister, I have to buy clothes for the children too! Just buying saris won't do anymore!
- Oh I see, go then! Make time to visit us at home one day... with everyone, how about it?
- No no Rasu, you go first! Come see us one day... how your Nira is doing these days!

Laughing, she walked away. Adjusting her sari's edge, she entered another shop.
And here I was, thinking something or other, lost in my own thoughts, standing there motionless for quite some time.
After so many, many years, it suddenly struck me—
Instead of crying all my life, it would have been better then to just tell the truth!