Receding Feelings

There's no rule that suicide notes must always be written in heaps of words. Some emotions are utterly impossible to capture clearly in ink.

I can't hold on to patience for even another moment!
Believe me, my capacity for patience isn't so small, yet it feels like—perhaps I can't manage anymore.

There are certainly two ways out of this. You might be wondering why I'm not choosing those paths! But how can I go down that road? I tried so hard—who doesn't want to live!

It might sound laughable, but right now I need your touch—which isn't possible to have. And I don't have the courage to choose that other path either.

If it truly becomes impossible to carry on life this way, will courage come then? I don't even know that.

I know the reason for your indifference, but I couldn't tell you the reason for my waiting.