Dateline 17, 18 January 2015 Before coming here, I'd been hearing that it gets quite cold. How cold, I hadn't been told. When I arrived yesterday at 2:15 in the afternoon, I found PATC still wrapped in a green that had turned grey-tinged from the morning fog. I realized that getting up at 5 AM here is much the same as getting up at 8 AM. As a child, I used to say that student life would be wonderful if only there weren't exams. Now I'm saying that work life would be wonderful if only there weren't training. Shah Rukh Khan once wrote on Twitter: "You can love me or hate me but.. you can't ignore me." PATC seems to throw this very challenge at every civil servant! At the gate, we were welcomed with tuberose garlands—thornless ones. Perhaps if they'd welcomed us with thorns right at the start, the subsequent thorns might lose their capacity to pierce. That's probably why this arrangement! Registration was at 3:30. After light refreshments, in the evening the Rector addressed us with a welcome speech. The Rector is PATC's principal and holds Secretary rank. He left teaching at Rajshahi University to join the administration. In his eventful career spanning nearly 32 years, he has served in many important positions. His welcome was warm like a fog-drenched red rose—all feelings turn cold, yet the "allure of thorns" cannot be ignored. In his 32 years of professional life, the Rector has never been even a minute late to office. At PATC, 9 o'clock means exactly 8:60 minutes, not 9. A lover's letter may be uncertain, but PATC's show-cause letter is as certain as death. I learned many such things. There were hopeful words too, of course. For instance, the top 30 performers in this training would be taken abroad on tours. (Hearing this, I said to myself: Sir, the happiest person in this world is one who has no rivals, whom no one needs to envy. I don't want to be anyone's rival. I believe in one principle... let those who are happy remain happy... let them stay happy in their own way! I'd rather stay among the last 30 and, if not in foreign lands like them, at least roam happily in the country of my own mind. Someone was asking me, "Brother, have you decided what you'll do in these six months?" I said, "I've decided to simply get through these six months, nothing more." I want to remain carefree and untroubled. I'm very fond of Colonel Taher's saying: "There is no greater wealth than a fearless heart.") I learned one thing from the Rector: to show infinite respect to teachers. Anyone from whom I've learned even a single letter is my teacher. The Rector's gratitude and reverence for all those he found as seniors in his career, from whom he received lessons in honesty, dedication, competence, and various other qualities—this is worth learning. Next came our Course Advisor. He holds Additional Secretary rank. I haven't seen many people speak such difficult things in such a humble manner with such an unwavering, resonant formal tone. Each word seems to create separate resonances within the chest! There's a wonderful sincerity in his words that draws you close, yet doesn't let you come too near. He addresses us as friends. He says, "Friends, you can imagine a fox without a tail, but you shouldn't even think of imagining a Course Coordinator without a black book." We have a total of 8 Course Coordinators. We were given a general understanding that they are all worthy descendants of Hitler. They are skilled at making tough decisions with easy, natural gestures. All of us were divided into 6 sections. Each section has one Course Coordinator in charge, with another overseeing everything. They all hold Assistant Director rank. Let me tell you about the last one. Behind thick-framed glasses that hide stern eyes, he speaks in an extremely charming manner. He probably consults the calendar before deciding when to smile. I've seen him smile a total of 5-6 times so far. But from his way of speaking, you can tell he's quite sincere and responsible; his external demeanor is for our training's needs, inside he's soft. This too is an inseparable part of bureaucracy. A former Secretary used to say, "If you want to run an office without hassles, establish a stern image in the first few days after taking charge." Oh yes, what I was saying about the black book. It's a notebook with a black cover. Course Coordinators often sit at the back of the class with it. If someone comes late, misbehaves, falls asleep in class, gets busy chatting with neighbors, turns the classroom into a stage thinking of the guest speaker as an audience, and in several other cases, names get entered into that black book's "Hall of Fame." The final part of the session was norm-setting. That part was truly enjoyable! Pure entertainment! We ourselves would decide what norms we'd follow during our 6-month training. These would be written on the white board and later printed and posted on notice boards or walls everywhere. This session had some amusing proposals. For instance, just as classes couldn't start late, they also couldn't end late. Classes couldn't be made completely interactive—meaning if someone dozed off in class, they couldn't be embarrassed with questions about the class afterward. Everyone should be allowed to do their training as they wish. Every trainee will keep themselves clean and tidy. (I asked in a low voice: who will check?) There was one terrible proposal: no matter how long a class runs, absolutely no one could go to the toilet during class! Anyway, this session ended wonderfully. Let me say a bit about the Course Director. We haven't had any uninterrupted sessions with him, but he occasionally stands before the microphone on various topics. He holds Deputy Secretary rank. He speaks very little. Extremely polite and humble by nature. He has a special art of speaking. He speaks very clearly, pausing slightly, organizing his thoughts. Few words, but weighty. Today's session started exactly at 8:30. The first session was with the Rector. This session had several important messages. As much as I remember, I'm sharing some in my own way: # Mindset must change first. (I think so too. I often say: if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll remain exactly as you've always been.) # If intentions aren't good, work results won't be good either—at best they'll be mediocre. # The Rector's nephew was second boy in his village school. He later graduated from Sir Salimullah Medical College and completed FCPS and MD. Yet the first boy from that same school couldn't continue studying after class eight due to poverty. Later, needing livelihood, he went to the Middle East and died in a road accident there. The fact that we're alive, that we've had the good fortune to study; where millions of unemployed people are desperately searching for jobs, we have jobs, the government is spending so much money on us—our wallowing in disappointment is nothing but self-indulgent misery. # Those of us who at some point in life have had the opportunity to study cheaply with government support should consider: we studied with poor people's tax money. Now it's time to repay our debt. As government, semi-government, or autonomous institution employees, none of us can escape this responsibility. # Highway robbers who loot people's money have no respect, no social security. Yet we have everything. Why should we become looters? In what way are we superior to them? # The state of service in many of our country's service-providing institutions is such that if people had the option, they'd rather hire a plane and get that service from America than walk two steps from home to receive it. # I sometimes say this: jealousy is such a word that has no English translation. How could it? Bengalis have exclusive rights to it! Today the Rector said: those of you who think such-and-such job is better than your own, that you're deprived, that you're angrily withholding proper service from people—I ask you: did RAB-police go to your house to give you this job? You weren't forced into this job. You came here knowingly, of your own will. If you think you deserve something better, that this job doesn't suit you, then quit this job. Right now! We don't need you. # One Friday, a Dhaka Medical College professor was seriously injured in a road accident. He needed urgent treatment in Singapore. The injured professor's wife went to the Health Secretary's home with an application. The Secretary heard everything and wrote directly on the application: "Today is a government holiday. Opening the office to issue a GO would take too much time. Therefore, I request all authorities to consider this writing as a GO and assist the applicant's husband's journey to Singapore." A government officer must use his conscience to take responsibility and make quick decisions. # Financial transparency alone isn't the measure of an officer's qualification. Nepotism, lack of time-consciousness, procrastination, avoiding responsibility, or negligence—these are actually more harmful. # If you refuse to accept a wrong decision by your boss and do the right thing instead, don't go around telling everyone about it later. Learning to keep your tongue in check is a prerequisite for working.
Next came the person in charge of our physical exercise and sports. Seeing him, I was immediately reminded of the mountain guide from Satyajit Ray’s film “Kanchenjunga”—there was something distinctly Nepalese about his features. The moment he began to speak, I kept thinking he might burst into song: “Manush manusher jonno…” In dress and bearing, he was exactly like Bhupen Hazarika! He spoke with great simplicity, and his words held affection and tenderness. There was something to learn from watching him: confidence. Though not particularly fluent in English, he spoke steadily in English for nearly an hour. I liked one thing he said: “Your morning PT will start at exactly 6 o’clock. 6 o’clock means 5 hours, 59 minutes, and 60 seconds. Here we count time by seconds.” I took an instant liking to him. He laughed and spoke in such a natural manner. He would suddenly say with such simplicity, “Ah yes! I have time! I can tell more!” I noticed another amusing habit of his. Instead of saying “kono shomoshya nai” (no problem), he would say “kono shondeho nai” (no doubt).
Next in the orientation came our librarian. He spoke in an extremely nervous manner throughout. While speaking, he kept looking back to where the course advisor and course director were seated. He spoke in pure textbook language, as if the words were typed out somewhere in front of him. When fear made him forget certain points and the course advisor reminded him, he became flustered and said, “Thank you, sir; welcome, sir; sorry, sir; I didn’t forget to say this, but I had made notes to remember to say it, sir.” Like the relief that appears on someone’s face after finally using the toilet after holding it in for ages, he seemed to breathe a sigh of relief after saying all his unsaid words! In any case, this nervous gentleman eventually finished speaking. From him we learned that our library has about 120,000 books.
Last was the distribution of kit allowances. Each of us was given 15,000 taka for clothing and other expenses. Ah! What an extraordinarily delightful session! The best one so far! If this session happened every day, I could endure the torment of training with a smile for not just 6 months, but 6 years.
Coming to PATC, I understood one thing: If you have any excuses, show them to yourself, not to your authority. Our only job here is to follow the fence like sheep. The fence means the officers who monitor us around the clock. Using mobile phones is completely forbidden here, whether in class or while walking in the corridors outside class. Since coming to PATC, my favorite activity has been walking through the corridors here. You must walk on the right side of the corridor. The funny thing is, if you accidentally walk on the left, it soon starts feeling awkward even to yourself. Small red arrows are marked on the corridor floors. If you walk on the left, you’ll see you’re walking against the arrows. The most joyful sight: rose gardens all around the corridors. You just want to keep staring. How unbearably beautiful! You rarely see such a variety of colored roses together anywhere in Bangladesh. Red, white, yellow, orange, and many other colors and varieties of roses. It feels like all the happiness in the world is right here! Along with sunflowers of various colors. Nearby bloom clusters of snowball flowers. How they beckon with a gesture, just calling you closer! Yellow marigolds mingling with wildflowers. Dazzling to the eye, enchanting to the heart.
Seeing this garden’s splendor, I was first reminded of Chittagong’s War Cemetery. Looking for a while, it begins to feel like a peaceful graveyard arranged in rows. A graveyard within a graveyard! (Don’t think of this as some soliloquy!) Orchids hang on both sides of the corridor, as if busy soothing the weariness of passing travelers! Below are countless varieties of colorful foliage plants arranged in rows. When you walk down the corridor in the evening, you’ll see bright flames leaping on both sides of the corridor floor! It will stop you in your tracks! It will transport you to some incomprehensible mysterious realm of magical realism! Truly unbelievable, that scene! The wonderful flame-red petals bloom like flowers on the Coleus plants.
Let me tell two amusing incidents. We’re supposed to contact the section coordinator for any need. Even for finding out where to do “Bkash”! Today a course coordinator was saying that female officers who’ve brought children should take special care of them. They might catch cold during this time. Keep the child in sunlight. The child will stay healthy. A lady officer beside me said to me, “Brother, there’s hardly any sunlight here all day. How will I keep my child in the sun?” I said, “Sister, you can call the section coordinator about this. He’ll arrange for sunlight.” Then I saw her glaring at me. (I started wondering, what did I do?!) Here we have to eat everything with knives, spoons, and forks. We even extract lemon juice the same way. One of our coursemates follows Vaishnavism and doesn’t eat any food here; his food comes from a local temple. Initially he wasn’t allowed this arrangement, but later it was permitted on the condition that he had to eat that prasad with knife, spoon, and fork! He was compelled to do so!
And so another day passed! At the end of the day, I returned to my room in the evening after eating puffed rice (literally! Whether figuratively, I don’t know).