Thought: Six Hundred Seventeen
……………………………………………………
21 February 2015
Is there really an award for the highest number of book purchases at the Ekushey Book Fair?
Had I known earlier, I would have saved the receipts…………
When you buy shoes, you toss the receipt without even checking if they fit properly, and here we’re talking about books!!
………….. Of course, shoes are more important than books!! Speaking of which, could you donate those shoes to someone?
No. I couldn’t. You just shrink your feet and wear them.
And shoes deteriorate if you don’t wear them,
but books can be kept well for a long time without reading, so it’s important to wear shoes right after buying them!
You bought my book? I thought after reading it you’d curse me out for writing such rubbish!
……….. “Finally”—Arindam
said with melancholy.
What kind of answer is that?
Give me a proper answer. Whether I continue writing poetry will depend on a few people’s opinions! I need to know whether these qualify as poems according to your certification!
I’m truly blessed, guru!!
23 February 2015
Expand not your belly,
but your heart.
When the belly grows big, everyone notices, but when the heart grows big, no one sees,
instead many will slander you for having loose character.
That’s right, you keep expanding your belly.
24 February 2015
Small people put on big airs over small tasks.
26 February 2015
Tomorrow’s Prothom Alo will feature my article on preparation strategies for the 35th BCS preliminary examination.
I’ve prepared the advice keeping in mind only those three types of candidates whose preparation is
‘none, minimal, and moderate’—everyone else can skip the article.
I believe that if you follow my suggestions properly while studying during this one week, your chances of passing the preliminaries are ninety percent. The remaining ten percent must be left to fate, which is entirely beyond our control.
Read it, share your thoughts. If any relevant questions come to mind after reading, please ask; either in the comment thread or in my inbox. (I won’t answer questions like ‘which guidebook should I buy’.)
No one can show you the path to your success; I’ve only tried to share those insights
that I myself, as an ‘average candidate,’ would have followed in the week before the exam. The article
How to pass the preliminary exam easily?
The simplest answer I have to this question is: study your head off!
For a job you’ve decided to do comfortably for at least thirty years, if you can’t say goodbye to six nights of sleep, then go soak some puffed rice in Sprite and eat it. The world hasn’t become quite that easy yet.
I have many writings about various strategies for passing preliminaries,
which you’ll find in my Facebook notes. You can read them.
(I humbly request that you share this post to let everyone know.)
26 February 2015
This year’s book fair has only 2
days left.
I’m advertising two books.
First. Okkhoro. The anthology has been arranged with writings of various moods by a total of 36 authors. This book has been edited by Maimuna Leena.
Let me say two things about her: she writes well. She reads quite well. I’ve read the pieces in Okkhoro. Leena’s choices have become my choices. You can buy the book or borrow it from someone to read. Many of the pieces will deeply move you after reading. You’ll find the book at Shiri Publications’ stall. Stall number 214.
Second. Romyopedia. It contains 31 humorous pieces by 31 authors. The writings are only for those serious readers who seriously want to laugh. There’s no need to read this book out of intellectual curiosity. It mostly contains writings by those who regularly write for Prothom Alo’s Rosh+Alo. If you can read the book without buying it, there’s no need to buy it—borrow it from someone and then don’t return it, keep it for yourself. And if you can’t find such a person, buy it and read it or give it to someone. The anthology has been edited by my two younger brothers Fahim and Kawsar. The humor anthology is available at the Bhashachitra stall. Stall numbers 287-288.
You’ll find many of my pieces in Okkhoro; in Romyopedia you’ll find one. I’m telling two types of readers to read both books. First. Those who are addicted to my writing,
to read my writing. Second. Those who are annoyed with my writing, to read others’ writing.
(I’d appreciate it if you share this post.)
……….. answer the people’s questions.
Why should apu answer?
Did apu post this or
Sushanta Paul bhaiya??? Doesn’t apu have household duties and work???
Doesn’t bhaiya have non-household non-duties non-work non-activities??
Why do you always want to make people work, Sushanta bhaiya???
The people are annoyed with you.
That’s right. It’s my good fortune that you’ve become annoyed after all this time.
27 February 2015
Hey brother,
stop it now!
I get it. Don’t go taking part everywhere. Take part where it’s needed,
only there. All sorts of fouls!
…………..hmm, everybody should
stop but someone stops early stage…..feeling shock to see the killing of
Avijit Roy.
……………. Did I invite you to make such an irrelevant comment, needlessly trying to connect my status with something or other?
This post of mine is in no way related to Avijit da’s murder. How could you possibly think I would even consider writing something like that?!!! Dada,
do you understand?
Or do I need to explain further?
28 February 2015
Having parents alive is the greatest fortune in the world. Sometimes there come moments when you feel that if you could just rest your head in someone’s lap right now, it would bring such peace. Such absolute, weightless refuge is possible only with parents, and no one else.
28 February 2015
Two tragedies of our age: One. In this age, love doesn’t require poetry; you don’t need to write it, read it, or recite it. Two. In this age, some women even marry poets!
This is not an age of harmony,
but of discord. In this
age, gods become demons,
demons become gods. People no longer remain human. This is not an age of immortality,
this is an age of mere survival. This age
……… No! I don’t want to think anymore! I won’t think about anything else.
2 March 2015
As far as I remember, I was in eighth grade then. Hearing this song in the voice of a cousin sister who was in tenth grade, I developed a crush on her. Though I was old enough to understand what a crush was, I had neither the courage nor the wisdom to act on it. At that age, you worry that if you fall in love, mother will scold you, your results will suffer—these were the concerns of that time. I also remember it was raining heavily outside. Before that rain-soaked evening, this song had never felt so intimate to me. Before those 4-5 minutes of that moment, I had never felt such yearning to be remembered by someone. I never told didi that I loved her. Nor will I ever. The thought never even occurred to me. Can you tell someone you love them at first sight? Your tongue becomes stiff, something happens to your head, all the shame and bashfulness of the heart gathers in your eyes. Can you speak like that?
I wonder, how do people manage to say it?
2 March 2015
All my love has been lost to doubt,
fear, bashfulness, pride,
inferiority, uncertainty, neglect, and indifference
Didi, I’ve written these words quite well………
What is this excessive bashfulness of yours about?
About losing before even having
The one who should understand doesn’t understand,
everyone else understands everything.
If only I knew the answer to that! Alas!!
2 March 2015
Outside…………..
A sliver of gentle moon
A fragment of enchanting sky
A handful of sweet breeze
A mass of drifting frost
An unbroken stream of tireless crickets
A monotonous reckless fox
A monochrome sheet-wrapped mansion
The heart-stirring silence of a single death
A moment’s ghostly tree
A childhood’s faithful Rabindranath
An evening’s intoxicated spring
A lifetime’s old tuberose
Within……….
A sliver of empty veranda
With face buried in it…………
More constant than the melancholy of white lampposts is my crowded solitude
Reflection: Six hundred eighteen
……………………………………………………
3 March 2015
What is the most joyful work in the world? Being able to make those close to us happy. Who are those close to us? The person who will stay by your side even when the entire world abandons you. The problem lies right there. We know they will stay. We don’t need to do anything to keep them. Instead, we try to keep those who won’t stay. We must please the boss, we must please that friend from a day’s formal acquaintance, we must please colleagues. We love to expand this list, love to appear busy. Yet when we writhe with fever, no one stays beside us except the one closest. Who else weeps seeing my suffering? During illness, when has a boss ever come and said, “It must be very painful, no?” Making these close people happy is the easiest task. It requires absolutely nothing—even an occasional phone call suffices. Yet how much we object to even that! There’s never time. We can bring smiles to their faces with the least expense—smiles worth lakhs of rupees. Our misfortune is that we cannot buy this finest treasure cheaply. Our misfortune is that from the moment we learn to say “I’m fine,” our time of truly being fine begins to run out.
A few days ago, a feature in Prothom Alo’s Adhuna section carried a photograph of my father and me. My father is quite fond of that picture. Every now and then, he opens the paper just to look at it. I’ve noticed this myself, but it never occurred to me—unlike Pappu—that framing the photograph and placing it on Father’s desk would bring him such joy. Though four years younger than me, he has somehow learned to understand these small calculations of happiness in life far better than I have. This evening, Pappu surprised Father by doing exactly that. He captured a million taka’s worth of emotion in a cheap frame and placed it on Father’s desk. How delighted our parents were to see it! The poor boy manages with just two small tutoring jobs. What more could he possibly give? And what am I giving, for that matter, having left tutoring behind for a ‘proper job’? I live far away. I send some paper comforts home. I call to check in. That’s about it! He’s the one who scatters handfuls of happiness. Sometimes I feel terribly envious of him. The pain of not being able to buy even a single medicine for one’s parents—how profound that is! Today he was saying, “Brother, after such a long time, I’m feeling really good today! This didn’t cost me much at all. But after I did it, the way Mother and Father were smiling! You know, when they smile, Mother and Father still look impossibly beautiful!”
Alas! How melancholy is this existence of ours, accepting life’s cruel defeat at the hands of livelihood!
3 March 2015
During turbulent weather on a flight, due to the aircraft’s distressed condition, you fall into the lap of a beautiful fellow passenger sitting beside you. What would you do in this situation?
(a) Apologize and return to your own seat
(b) Try to become intimate with the woman
(c) Immediately go to the restroom
(d) Get angry and remain lying there
The above question is number 139 from a mental aptitude guidebook for the BCS preliminary examination. One of my Facebook followers photographed the question and sent it to me via inbox. I’m sharing the conversation that followed:
~ Brother, well, do I need to study these kinds of questions too? Do such ridiculous questions actually appear in the BCS?
~ Ridiculous how? This is a very common and very important question!
~ Hahahaha… Brother, are you serious?
~ What do you mean? Why? It’s perfectly fine. This question is highly relevant. If we don’t teach this, what if someone tries to become ‘intimate’? We have to tell them what to do, don’t we? Strange!
~ Hehehe… Brother, what are you saying?
~ There’s nothing to laugh about, Banya. Be serious.
~ Alright, I won’t say anything about this.
~ No, you don’t understand. It’s something really serious.
~ Okay, I am serious. Hehe…
~ Hehe… what do you mean? Can’t you understand what I’m saying? You shouldn’t giggle like that at every little thing. Such awful behavior!
Laugh only when something’s actually funny. Will you even remember what I’m telling you?
~ I don’t giggle like that, bhaiya. Mitu does. Oh right,
Mitu is my friend.
~ Of course you do.
~ No sir, I laugh very nicely.
~ Never mind, let’s get to the point. Can’t you understand
that trying to get close to the woman next to you at that time wouldn’t be appropriate? Or are you
in favor of that?
~ Yes bhaiya, I’m trying to understand. Serious mode on.
~ I’m getting confused, Banya!
Think seriously about these matters. If there are children, who will take responsibility for raising them?
You? How absurd!
~ Bhaiya,
I can’t suppress my laughter. May I laugh a little, please?
I won’t make any sound,
promise.
~ What do you mean?
Don’t fool around! I don’t like foolishness. So,
what I was saying. The state won’t take responsibility for children. That’s why the state might very well ask such a question in the BCS exam. How else would the officers understand? Do you get it now,
Banya? Or do I need to break it down further?
~ Ugh!
What a person you are! I’m in trouble now!
I withdraw the topic. I understand, I understand quite enough. Thank you very much.
~ Alright,
now that’s better. Do something for me!
~ What should I do now!
Fine, tell me.
~ What’s this “fine, tell me”?
Why aren’t you being serious?
Don’t you have an exam? Now take that guidebook in front of you.
~ I’ve taken it. Tell me.
~ Look and see if they’ve included any questions about toilet etiquette.
If not,
I’m telling you,
learn how to use the toilet before going to the exam hall. Otherwise you’ll be in serious trouble.
~ I can’t do this. You go learn it yourself!
~ What do you mean?
Don’t you want to get the job?
How strange! But you keep this in mind. No hanky-panky. Okay?
You’ll remember, won’t you?
~ No,
I won’t remember. I apologize,
please. I don’t want to discuss studies with you anymore.
~ Please,
Banya! When you get the job, you won’t even treat me to the first sweets,
will you?
I’m being generous and doing you a favor. Can you understand that? Why are you apologizing?
Don’t apologize, please. I’m saying this seriously.
~ Bhaiya,
I’m sorry. I understand, I’ve annoyed you. I won’t do it again. Sorry!
~ Why are you in such a funny mood before your exam? Don’t you want to pass?
~ Why are you vexing me? Am I some kind of fuel?
~ Now you get it!
Good! Very good!
You are indeed fuel. Premium fuel, in fact!
~ Is that so,
really?
~ Absolutely!
That’s exactly what the concept of biogas tells us!
~ Splendid!
~ Splendid, meaning?
Should I start explaining the concept of fuel to you?
~ ………..
~ Hello!
Are you there? Helloooooo…………….!!!!
Thought: Six hundred nineteen
……………………………………………………
4 March 2015
Your exam is the day after tomorrow,
and here you are on Facebook today?
No worries! Stay right here. With the exam looming ahead, let’s all gather and gleefully sabotage our prospects!
Just one piece of advice: don’t feel any regret or sadness about this.
The rule before exams is this:
do whatever feels good,
that’s what you must do. If necessary, watch some classic old Bengali film and cry your heart out with Shabana—your mind,
nose, and eyes wide open! I’m telling you, it’s absolutely fine!
(Just remember to keep a box of tissues handy.)
Don’t think that everyone else knows everything
while you know jack. That your preparation is worse than everyone else’s—
who told you that? Why does it seem that way to you?
If it does seem so,
either forgive those who make you feel this way or move a billion miles away from them. Does good preparation guarantee a good exam? Are you sure?
Come on, man! The game is still ON! Who
can do what,
we’ll see later. For those who study obsessively,
pray with both hands raised: grant them wisdom, O Lord,
forgive them.
I say,
have you practiced better than me?
Know everything?
Absolutely everrrrrything…….?!!
I know less, so I’ll get fewer marks? Fair enough. But I haven’t even played yet! Let me play first,
see what happens, then say, “We slayed elephants,
we slayed horses.”
When results come out, I’ve seen plenty of people who boasted of slaying elephants and horses, when they couldn’t even kill a cockroach.
Others merely practice,
while Tendulkar plays. Only ‘well played’ matters, not
‘well prepared’.
Exams go badly due to lack of confidence, not lack of preparation.
You’ll take your own exam,
however you please, go in unprepared if you want!
And you’ll forcibly squeeze through with passing marks! Who cares!
You’ll fail the prelims? Just like that? So simple?! Is this some demand from your in-laws?
5 March 2015
From today’s exam:
# Sometimes………… in the exam hall……… when you don’t know the answer to a question……….
It makes you……… sad.
If you don’t know the people around you…………
Your mood turns sour.
# Whatever I cannot do myself, I simply cannot do.
Whatever he
cannot do,
the fool can do nothing at all.
# When you go to an exam with zero preparation and start doing somewhat well, greed begins to grow. You want to think of yourself as a well-prepared good student. Initially, the greed is focused on what you can and cannot do; gradually, that greed shifts toward what others can and cannot do. What I cannot do,
I ask others. What they cannot do, I ask them to find out from someone else and tell me. When they get annoyed by this, I take offense. The claim on others’ wealth is such a grand claim. Exams teach us to become greedy.
9 March 2015
Didn’t Aamir Khan say,
Jo jeeta wohi sikandar,
Aur jo haara wo
bandar!!
Therefore, England is the monkey and we are the tiger!! Got you!! Muahahaha…….. Hehehehehe…………….
Bangladesh won by 15 runs and at PSTC our handball team Payra won 5-1. What more could you ask for!!
Life is so beautiful!!
9 March 2015
feeling happy ;).
If something wonderful comes from a scar, then the scar is good. 😉
This is merely a borrowed whimsy from an advertisement. Any resemblance to persons living or dead, should it not match, is purely unintended coincidence. 😉
11 March 2015
Tonight is so enchanting. Let this be a night of songs.
I’m sharing some of my own favorites:
Wondrous spring night ………….
Gazing at the sky, staying awake all night ……
The sky-lamp burns, gazing toward the morning star……….
I’ll speak with those twinkling stars in the sky……….
The sky holds an armful of blue……………
The days of fire will end someday…………
Tonight my bed is strewn with flowers……..
Tonight I’ll stay awake all night…….
In half-light and shadow, in something lovely……..
If sleep breaks at midnight,
I remember my beloved……….
My midnight rain…………
My night-watching star, your sky-touching home…………
I’ll spread the word from star to star……..
This sweet night belongs only to the flowering cuckoo…………..
This city has now fallen asleep………..
This beautiful night beyond the skies………..
In this beautiful golden evening
………..
In this distant exile, counting stars across the heavens………..
Come, let your limbs be bathed in this moonlight of mine, let us converse……….
This night, that moon,
these flowers, those stars call out and say……..
This night is yours and mine………..
In this silver night, your two hands………..
One day in the awakening city…………..
Now it is deep into the night beneath the open sky………
O my moonlight,
this evening of spring………
O moon,
hold your radiance with care…………..
O you, behold the silence of the night………….
The hour for reading poetry has arrived…………..
Last night was a night of dreams all through…………
Drowsy moon, twinkling stars………
Come to me today, this
night…………
Why does the moon not come to my room………..
The dam of the moon’s laughter has broken…………
My sleepless eyes in this spring night……….
In this star-filled night, how your memory returns……….
When you arrive step by step, moonlight touches and passes……..
Do not leave just yet………..
In the courtyard of your eyes, does it still remain the same………….
For you, a little light from the bluish stars………….
How deeply you are loved, perhaps the moon knows this……………
At day’s end, in the land of sleep……..
Two hearts are no longer separate…………
In the distance, sky like a canopy………
In the darkness of silent night……….
In the quiet evening, perhaps the wandering birds lose their way
………..
From the dense darkness emerged into the tidal current……….
Night and the crescent moon in the sky………..
Blue canopy……….
Beloved, let not such a night pass in vain………….
Friend, there is no sleep upon my eyelids……….
This abstract night of mine,
woven with threads of silence………
In the peacock-blue of night, in that procession of stars across the sky………
If at midnight the moon does not shed its light…………
O spring night, why do you weep in the sweet night…………
In the spring night, in the garden of my mind………..
In this enchanted
night, secretly, the two of us…………
In my drowsy state came the enchanting one………
When in the silent night everything grows hushed………..
The night sleepless,
I sit alone………..
In the night sky, that distant pole star, a silent witness…………
The night has deepened, no sleep finds my eyes………….
If on a rainy night, I come to your remembrance………
Garlands of shiuli flowers sway in the autumn night’s embrace…………
Monsoon streams, my sleepless eyes in this madhavi night….
On that star-filled night, I could not make you understand…….
As if she still sits beside me…………
That night was a full moon night………
That day too, the moon was in the sky…………..
The dream-filled night sky remains awake…………
Your preference for evening/
night?
Thought: Six hundred twenty
……………………………………………………
14 March 2015
Girls lie a lot. Trust their words less.
Boys have to lie a lot. Don’t trust their words at all.
15 March 2015
feeling disgusted.
The most innocent-faced girls are the biggest habitual liars.
Brother, why did you wake up!!!
Bhai, ……….. I woke up
What else can I do?? Feel like breaking things.
…. thanks a lot
Bhai, why? Did you get caught?
Really??
No dada,
I didn’t. No one could get that chance………..I look at those beauties a little less anyway……
………… Why bhai?? Why do you look less??
I stare open-mouthed whenever I see a beauty!!
21 March 2015
Tomorrow I have two career sessions in Chittagong.
Venue: 4th floor of Gulzar Tower, Chawk Bazar
Time: First one at 10:00 AM, second at 4:00 PM
What the sessions include: Motivational talks. BCS preliminary and written exam preparation strategies. Q&A session.
Both sessions will run for about 3:30 hours. I’ll try to finish my talk in the first 2:30 hours and spend the next 1 hour listening to you all,
meaning I want to give adequate time to the Q&A session. My experience says it’s better to give more time to the Q&A portion. So, this time I’m doing that.
No registration is required to attend the gathering, no entry fee needed. The session is open to everyone. From career talks, I take nothing but a handful of love and a wealth of satisfaction, so I want no one to ever spend a penny to hear me speak. (Except for transport fare! Hahaha…)
Anyone who calls me, I rush to them. On two conditions: First, not a single penny can be given to me. Second, not a single penny can be taken from those who attend the gathering.
(Since I won’t take money, no one at my gathering can be charged even a penny—for this stubborn principle alone, I’ve politely declined invitations from a couple of professional job training institutes.)
It would be excellent if you could bring your questions written down, because from my experience at various university and institutional career talks, I’ve noticed that people often can’t think of what questions to ask in the moment. Please ensure your questions are relevant. I won’t answer irrelevant questions. (What do I mean by irrelevant? For instance: which guidebooks should I read? How many days after joining will I get a car? And so on…)
So then, tomorrow we meet, we talk, we take ‘photos and such.’
(I request that you share this post to inform everyone.)
21 March 2015
I watched the day before yesterday’s match. Couldn’t watch it at PATC, so came home and watched it today. After watching that match, my blood is boiling! Shame on you, India! Shame! You too had to win like this? Is this Tendulkar’s India? We have to believe this too? If you beat us, beat us fair and square—but why did you have to snatch the crown like thieves? Even you?! Great men don’t suit themselves to petty deeds. Shame on you, ICC! Can’t you take a plate and go begging in the streets? Even beggars have more shame than this. You ignorant umpires! Take your caps in hand and come to our country. In our country, we are many, many more in number. Even one taka each would raise far more than your bribery money. Don’t be afraid—in exchange for that charity, we won’t ask you to stand naked on the field, we’ll only say this: don’t commit injustice against our brothers who step onto the field with so much emotion! You bastards understand money, you don’t understand emotion. We don’t want India’s kind of pity-begging; just don’t commit injustice—that’s enough. Let their eleven play against our eleven. Don’t you play for them. You weren’t put on the field to play—if you don’t have enough brains to understand this, then poor people like us also feel the urge to collect donations, buy a pistol if needed, and shoot the brains out of your head. India couldn’t win, yet we lost. We didn’t lose—we gave away a victory as charity. You snatched our dreams away like this?
Tigers!! You didn’t lose. We are witnesses! The whole world is witness!! Spitting on the ICC’s face, I say: you didn’t let us play in the final through sheer force. If India wins the cup, that cup isn’t theirs—it’s ours. If India can’t win the cup, then I’ll say that by committing injustice against us, an opportunity was created for an unworthy India to beat another team and win the cup. Shame!!
21 March 2015
What’s On Your Mind-1
There was a question in the 35th BCS preliminary exam that went like this:
Women are too often ___ by family
commitments.
(a)
confused (b) controlled (c) contaminated (d) constrained
Why am I writing about this? There’s a question I’m often asked: “Brother, which book should I read for English grammar?” I suggest two books: Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary and Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English. I also mention a few other books. But who listens to whom! They were looking to hear the names of guide books from me. And here I am! How many questions this time came as ‘common’ from guide books?
Go look at the ‘constrain’ entry in the Longman dictionary. The last example in that entry: Women’s employment opportunities are often severely constrained ‘by’ family commitments.
What do you understand? Where do the questions come from? Do those who set questions have time to look at guide books and frame questions? Or to read through stacks and stacks of sheets from coaching centers? Or to frame questions keeping in mind what fools like me say on Facebook? They really don’t have time for that. This BCS exam has proven that point.
When we can’t solve a grammar question, we start hunting for guide books. Each guide has different answers. Then we run after coaching center teachers. What’s the need, brother? Do those guide book authors or those coaching teachers know much more than you? What harm would come from taking a little trouble to go to the dictionary entry and study the examples? One question is actually the birthplace of several more questions. Those books are the bible of all guide books. Whatever is in them is correct. It’s not terribly difficult. You’ll practice solving questions by flipping through pages of those two books. At first it will seem a bit tedious, but once you gradually get used to it, it will become an addiction. I believe in the principle of ‘practice what you preach.’ I’ve done this work myself, so I’m asking you to do it too. If you can’t take this trouble, I have only one advice for you: learn wrongly, make mistakes, fail.
Today I was a bit free at home. My younger brother solved the 35th BCS preliminary question following my advice, without any preparation. He hasn’t even acquired the qualification to take the exam yet. He took the test purely from basics. With the marks he got, had he taken the exam this time, he would have ‘passed.’ While grading his paper, I discovered once again that many questions were designed for those who have good reading habits, who keep their eyes and ears open—not for parrot-like candidates who are all about guide books and coaching centers.
What’s On Your Mind-2
I heard an interesting story from my younger brother. He tutors a little kid. That kid is also my Facebook friend. She’s in intermediate second year. Apart from my younger brother, a fourth-year Economics student from Chittagong University also comes to her house to teach her.
The other day, during a tutoring session when my topic came up, I’m sharing the conversation between that boy and the little kid:
“I know your Prashanto sir’s elder brother very well.”
“Yes, he’s a very good student.”
“A good student at what? Do you know he used to just fail courses when he was at CUET? He barely managed to get through CUET.”
“What are you saying, sir? I’ve known dada since I was very young. He’s not like that.”
“You don’t know him better than I do. He’s my very close elder brother.”
“But I don’t see you as mutual friends on Facebook.”
“So what if we’re not on each other’s friend list? I follow him, I read all his posts. I know everything about him. Everyone used to look down on him at CUET. Though he’s fallen in line later, of course.”
“Sir, why do you read posts by such a terrible student?”
“Why wouldn’t I read them! All his posts are public. He’s made his profile public for cheap popularity.”
I listened, and thought: Why don’t these boys have even the slightest sense of respect for others? If you don’t know how to respect, you can’t be respected—don’t these smart donkeys have this in their heads? How do they find so much time to belittle others? How much of the world has this boy seen? His life hasn’t even begun yet! If I had this brat in front of me, I’d have grabbed him and given him a couple of slaps! What kind of wise man do you think you are? You’re studying in the university’s best department, fine. So how many people have you inspired with dreams so they too could grow up to be like you? What’s the value of this arrogance of yours? Wait, time will tell everything. I’ve told my younger brother to find out his name the next time he goes to teach. I’ll search for him on Facebook and block him. My block list is longer than many people’s friend lists. This keeps me quite at peace. An empty stable is better than a wicked pig. If he can’t read my writing, his loss is greater than mine. I don’t want him to read my writing. Sometimes to make someone understand your value all that you can do is to make yourself out of their reach. He’s younger than even my younger brother in age. A younger brother should remain like a younger brother, not like an insolent brat. Let the insolent go with the insolent, not with me.
Reflection: Six hundred twenty-one
……………………………………………………
22 March 2015
Today I spoke for about 4 hours each in two career discussions, totaling 8 hours. Both discussions took place on the 4th floor of Gulzar Tower in Chawk Bazaar, Chittagong. In this very market, I once had my gift shop ‘Dobhana.’ I spent a significant part of my life here. Many of my emotions and memories are tied to this market. While speaking today, I kept becoming somewhat nostalgic.
Today I began with some words I’ve learned from life and stories from my own journey. If 800 pairs of eyes don’t lie, then I can say that students found inspiration in these words. Then I spoke about what to study and where to study for BCS preliminary exams in light of the new types of questions. I also discussed how to complete almost 60% of the written exam preparation while preparing for the preliminary. Several topics in the BCS written exam syllabus have changed. I spoke about the old and new portions—which techniques work best for which topics, how much to study from where, what presentation style in the exam scripts might earn more marks, various aspects of time and stress management, and many other detailed matters. Finally, there was the question-and-answer session.
Speaking while standing for such a long time is truly exhausting. Yet I spoke, driven by love and affection. I am a career discussion speaker, so I must stand. But many boys, and even many girls, stood for those entire 4 hours during both sessions, inside the classroom and outside. Watching them, I could see their struggle, and it reminded me of those tearful days when I used to yearn desperately for a few words of sympathy.
24 March 2015
I’m sharing notes from the presentation I gave at the career discussion on the 4th floor of Gulzar Tower in Chattogram on March 22. Since the question patterns and syllabus for both BCS preliminary and written exams have changed, understandably much of what I said that day didn’t match my previous discussions. I can’t share everything I said in the discussion, but reading the notes below will give you some idea.
Let me share some good news. I will write a series in ‘Prothom Alo’ about preparation strategies according to the changed syllabus and question patterns of the BCS written exam—meaning what to study, how to study, and where to study. In the first installment, I wrote about the overall concepts of the written exam and preparation strategies for Bengali 1st and 2nd papers. I’ll announce on Facebook when the article will be published.
(If you share this post, many people will benefit. So I request you to share it.)
26 March 2015
3 What’s on Your Mind:
One. The day after tomorrow, meaning March 28, I’m coming to Sylhet as part of my training. I’ll be in Sylhet for about 2 months. I’ll spend my evenings and Fridays/Saturdays wandering around, eating, and chatting. I have many friends/followers/well-wishers in Sylhet and surrounding districts. Those who are there—if we can meet, if we can chat, I would be delighted. You can reach me at 01716086921.
Two. This evening after twilight, I’m at Batichar in Chattogram. If anyone is in that area or coming by, please drop in. We’ll meet, chat over Nescafe.
Three. Weren’t we supposed to play in today’s match?
If we had played, I believe that at least on the 26th of March we wouldn’t have lost; our brothers would have tried with their last drop of blood. Come,
let us pray on this Independence Day that India loses. I see many people
saying, let the cup come to Asia. I say, let it not come. My country is greater than Asia. The moment Australia hits a four or six, GTV flashes ‘Thank you’ at the bottom. We too say ‘Thank you’ to GTV.
Don’t forget to visit Bichanakandi, Ratargul, Lalakhal,
and Hamam waterfall in Sylhet. Though the true beauty of these places can be experienced during the monsoon. And if you get time, you’re invited to visit SUST once.
………. I have many, many younger brothers and sisters in SUST. I’ll definitely go there!
26 March 2015
Unwelcome India,
Ill wishes for you.
26 March 2015
Go Australia, Go!!!!
Not that we support Australia, we’re
just anti-India, at least for today!!
At least today!!! Not forever!!
It was not expected from you.
Anti-India? That’s how the world is
today. Very few children respect their creator!!!
…….. Sir, we’ve every reason to
be anti-India at least for TODAY’S MATCH!!! Our hope was hijacked, Sir!!
26 March 2015
Australia has won.
Who cares?
India has lost.
It’s all what we do care!!
ICC, couldn’t you give India the chance to steal twice on the same ground?
Or is it only the poor man’s wife you want to call sister-in-law?
27 March 2015
………….off to Sylhet, the
Daughter of Nature. I’ll have to stay there for 7 weeks as a part of our
foundation training course………looking forward to meeting my friends,
well-wishers, fans & followers. I’ll be available on *******…….. Hello
Sylhet!!
28 March 2015
Good Morning, Sylhet!
28 March 2015
On the way to Jaflong
. . . . . . . Next destinations: Tamabil, Jaintiapur,
Sreepur, Lalakhal . . . . . .
28 March 2015
Happiness is . . . . . . . walking very carefully step by step in the icy cold knee-deep water of a rocky mountain river and posing with exaggerated expressions, ‘face twisted and teeth bared,’ for photographs.
Goodbye Jaflong. Today you drenched us with rain;
and sun too! On the way to Lalakhal
. . . . . .
28 March 2015
Lalakhal…….. Well, doesn’t this look somewhat like Kaptai Lake?
Kaptai is certainly far more beautiful though! Rather, this resembles the Sangu River in Bandarban.
29 March 2015
feeling ravenous!
at পানসী রেস্টুরেন্ট (Panshi Restaurant).
Had a feast at Panshi, friend! What a spread!!
Bellies don’t grow big just like that, you know!
29 March 2015
at MC College, Sylhet – এম সি কলেজ, সিলেট
At MC College
. . . . . . the old atmosphere,
the old fragrance
Reflection: Six hundred and twenty-two
……………………………………………………
29 March 2015
Just as we have our lighthouses, they have their bookshops. The husking pedal may reach heaven but still pounds rice, and I’ve merely come to Sylhet. I’ll wander about so much, yet not visit the city’s biggest bookstore? That simply won’t do! . . . . . Spending time at Boipotro, Sylhet’s largest bookstore
. . . . . .
30 March 2015
At the Civil Surgeon’s office . . . . . reminds me of Uttam Kumar’s Ananda Ashram. Have you seen the film?
The doctor’s office there was somewhat like this too. An intimate union of nature and service. There was a field there,
which isn’t here—that’s the only difference! . . . . . . I see a car with writing on it:
Emergency Medicine. An old, broken-down vehicle. Some weed-like plants have even sprouted on it. Medicine and oxygen, both present! All arrangements for saving life are here, I see!
The car doesn’t run, so it won’t take anyone’s life! Meaning,
even this toothless, clawless car saves lives!
30 March 2015
Ah, the tea gardens!
One could live just to spend an afternoon like this! Amidst such otherworldly beauty, one feels compelled to think oneself terribly ugly!
Such is the power of beauty!
30 March 2015
with Diha Kamal Chowdhury at YUMMY
HUT.
Meeting new friends over coffee!!
31 March 2015
Kazir Bazar Bridge spans the Surma River. Looking down at the river from the bridge, my mood—no,
my temper turns absolutely foul. People have turned the Surma into another Buriganga. The river has become a dumping ground. Such heaps of filth and garbage floating in the Surma!
The river is taking its revenge too.
If we rape Nature once, it will rape us hundred times or even more! How do humans become such ungrateful scoundrels?
When seeking a moment’s peace, one must return again and again to this very riverbank! The child who grows drinking from his mother’s breast grows up to murder that very mother!
I feel like having a bit of fun. Shall I,
what do you think?
There was a question in the 30th BCS written examination: Write about the role of rivers in Bangladesh’s economic activities. . . . . . . The question wasn’t one I had prepared for, yet I answered it. I mean, I had to. The alternative was a question from the constitution. I can’t handle constitutional law. What else could I do! Those who attended my career preparation sessions know the strategy, the way I answered that question with proper points, quotations, and data. I won’t go into that discussion. I’ll only say this much: O river! You gave me marks, I could give you nothing! Forgive my inadequacy.
I saw a couple who, even on this blazing, terrible, endless scorching day, were dating while sitting on the sun-baked footpath of a bridge, umbrella over their heads. I pray, O God! Give this unemployed young man a job that provides the necessary funds to take his beloved young woman to an air-conditioned restaurant for peaceful dating. Or, at the very least, give him the wisdom to find a better dating spot. . . . . . . May their ‘hot hot’ relationship never grow cold.
31 March 2015
Chatting with younger brothers from SUST at uncle’s tea stall in front of Medina Market……..
31 March 2015
at Panch Vai Restaurant – পাঁচ ভাই রেস্টুরেন্ট
Thank you Giyas Uddin for arranging today’s adda and also for the treat at Panch Bhai. It was really a wonderful evening.
Thought: Six Hundred Twenty-Three
……………………………………………………
One. Happiness is……. ordering books online!!!
Buying books is buying happiness.
As my journey to happiness never ends, buying books never ends.
Shopping is living!!!
Two. In mid-2011 and the period before that, I could write very good English. Reading some of my Facebook posts from that time—especially the comments on posts and replies to comments (conversations)—as a reader now, I am truly amazed. At that time, I didn’t know anyone who could write better English than I could. (I say this without any pretense or false modesty.)
Thanks to the painstaking effort of an extremely hardworking friend, quite a few posts from my previous ID (which no longer exists) from that period, along with the associated comment threads, are preserved with me in copy-paste form. (My endless respect and gratitude to that friend.) I’m keeping them as notes in my ‘Plaster from the Wall of Thoughts’ series. Not even one-tenth of the skill I had in English writing at that time remains now. (Anyone who patiently reads the recent ‘Plaster from the Wall of Thoughts’ will understand what I mean.)
I am simultaneously missing my former self and feeling intensely jealous of him. I wish I had the time to organize those English conversations into nonfiction form. It would be tremendously laborious work, but I will try. (I know I won’t be able to write with that same quality or caliber, because there’s a vast difference between the Sushanta of that time and the Sushanta of now. Some changes in oneself become a source of pain for oneself.)
The more I read my writings from that period, the more it seems to me that people become incompetent and ordinary after getting a job. Stability ruins creativity. Life’s security makes intellect insecure.
Three. When two people are in love, they think this love will end only in death.
And that’s exactly what happens. After marriage, both die and become different people. Whether that marriage is between the two of them or with someone else.
Marriage means the end of love. After marriage, love transforms into habit. Or into social obligation.
Marriage is a wondrous machine for changing people.
At the end of the day, marriage is marriage; whoever it’s with, the feelings born of incident or accident remain more or less the same!
Again, I’ve seen many people fall in love with someone else after marriage. It’s not that they no longer love the person they married. They love that person too, and they also love someone else. Sometimes, not loving their spouse but loving another, yet continuing to perform love—with themselves, with their spouse. People have named such love adultery. Meaning, another relationship or another love. Why does this happen? Does the human heart then remain eternally unsatisfied in the end? What do people keep searching for throughout their entire lives?
The matter is quite perplexing indeed. For a long time I’d been searching for an answer to why this happens. I found the answer in a ghazal by Gulam Ali—”Tamam-e-umr tera intezar hamne kiya,” written by Hafiz Hoshiarpuri. Translating ghazals is an extremely difficult task, but I’ll give the approximate meaning in my own way:
Waiting for you, an entire life was spent,
In this one life, how many beloveds came and went.
O friend, this waiting seems to consume an entire life,
Among hundreds of faces, I still search for you first!
Thinking of you, year after year, the heart has lived in melodic joy,
How would you know how many times I’ve died in sorrow from failed love!
How desperate this longing is, seek that knowledge in those eyes,
Where Hafiz has placed his gaze, without letting his heart forget in reverie.
Four. : Please do me a favor.
: Tell me, sir.
: I can’t read on mobile.
Please make a PDF of your 69 installments and print them for me.
I feel like reading them.
The cellphone hurts my eyes.
: Brother,
you’ve embarrassed me!! There’s nothing worth reading!
At least, not for you. Brother,
you have such a big heart. That you want to read my writing,
it feels strange even to think about it. Why would someone like you read my writing??
: No no, some parts are very interesting. But my PC doesn’t have internet.
I can’t read on mobile.
Or if you could make a PDF and email it, I could read it.
I had some wrong ideas about you.
: Wrong ideas about me!! What kind?
: You used to speak to this person about surviving, just a little. Now it seems those were better times.
: Heh heh!
Actually, you know what, I don’t want anyone to judge me.
(No matter what I
do!) I’ve
stopped thinking of people
as either good or bad
for a long time now.
Actually, you know what, brother,
whatever the heart tells me to do,
I do it,
having witnessed spiritual death from so close,
that’s why.
A person. Whether that person will survive or not,
and if they survive, whether they’ll live a life worth living or not,
they don’t even know that. Even in that state, I kept fighting. I witnessed human cruelty from very close. Now most things seem unnecessary to me. That’s good,
whatever I like,
or whatever someone I love likes, that’s what I do.
(I’m talking to a learned person in the inbox.)
Five. The flower that I have trampled with cruel feet,
I long to hold it close against my breast………ah, Nazrul! This
is about me!! I’ve been thinking this for so long………just could never say it the way you did!
Six. When I was a nobody, my behavior was good,
so some people were drawn to me.
When I became somebody,
my behavior became bad, yet many people are still drawn to me.
Try to understand,
people are far less attracted to the person
than they are to that person’s achievements. Winning is attracting!
Seven. The nose-cutter with his nose in his throat.
Eight. Everyone is watching. Silently. Why? Because none of them have the capacity or the firm resolve to stand by those in distress. Whether they exist or not makes no difference.
They are just observing or maybe praying.
They can’t do more.
Those who have stood by the distressed, none of us see them. Those who help are invisible. They are invisible humans. They appear right when needed. They are such people
that those in distress never imagined that in such a crisis, they would be the ones to stand by them.
Holier are the hands that help than
the lips that pray.
The persons who can help us are the
persons whom we can’t know earlier.
Many of us have many followers on Facebook. We see our followers. We think, how rich I am! Ah, what a paradise I inhabit! When we fall into trouble, they remain followers still. They watch with interest to see what happens, offer elaborate analytical commentary, and continue following us just the same. Among them, if there are some truly compassionate souls, at most they pray for us. That’s all. Our long wall of humanity doesn’t spend even a single brick for our welfare.
Those who truly come to stand beside us in that trouble, who help us find rescue from our predicament—they are such people that seeing them, it never once occurred to us that they possessed such hearts, people for whom we never spent even a second, whom no one sees or knows, who were not on our followers list………..are not there now, and will never be there in the future.
Those who help when we need help,
don’t follow us. They accompany. Followers are not helpers. They can’t help,
they don’t help, instead, they often add more troubles and make the situation
worse.
Most of us waste our lives spending time on the wrong people.
No. Far away the sky spreads its canopy……..Lata’s song. I’ve been hearing it since childhood
My son too will hear it from childhood
His son too will hear it from childhood
……………………………………………………………
………………………………And so it will continue.
If it does continue, then the coming generations will undoubtedly be fortunate. Growing up listening to beautiful songs is a great blessing indeed.