Plaster of the Mind's Wall: 138

Reflection: Nine-Sixty

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1. There's no time for love.

There's no need for love.
Love is an accident.
An accident... a lifetime's tears.
Please, I beg of you, be silent for a moment,

Grant me the leisure not to love.
2. Humble people are of two kinds:
Those who have no pride,

Those who have nothing to be proud of.
3. Religious people and religion are not the same thing. Many religious people, driven by ignorance and arrogance, speak fabricated nonsense about religion. They can speak only because we pay attention. If we must listen, we should listen to religion's voice, not to religious people's words. Before listening to people's words, it's essential to examine them, however difficult that may be.
Religion's wheel once turned in the wind; now it turns on Facebook. We are the ones turning it, aren't we? What's the point? In matters of religion, indifference is better than ignorance. Whatever else may happen, at least no one gets hurt. Religion is for humanity, not humanity for religion.
4. One who must beg at five doors to survive—what pride makes him ignore the sixth door? Or is this not pride at all, but merely the urgency to rush to the seventh door?
5. No one knows, nobody knows,

Why sorrow awakens

In this heart each moment.
That little doll who once played

Carefree with a smiling face in peace and joy—

What moment of enchantment's deception

Snatched everything away, drowned life...
Before understanding what sin meant,

What punishment for what sin

Made her bid farewell like that... ah,

Our little doll!
6. To speak, new words are needed,

To sing, a new song,

To play, a new game,

To open, a new life,

To see, new eyes,

To smile, a new face,

To revel, new nectar,

To drown, new dreams...

The heart keeps asking

Why aren't you here beside me today?

Why must I stay away even on such a day?
If losing you meant gaining everything,

What then did I gain?
7. Some people belong to society yet are nobody in society.

Some people belong to family yet are nobody in the family.
8. Even if you bathe the image of Narayana with well water, it remains the image of Narayana—people bow their heads and offer prayers to it. If the same metal object were not the image of Narayana but merely a metal sphere, no one would show it the slightest respect, even if washed with Ganges water.
Merely making something isn't enough; it must be made properly.
9. Who belongs to whom?

... Who is whose?
When someone belongs to someone,

Then they are theirs.
10. When you're cheating some persons, you're a cheater; but when you're cheating the masses, you're a politician.
11. Meeting you has been an immense blessing for me. I am grateful to your parents. If you hadn't come into this world, whom would I have loved? Where would I have found this joy, this happiness—tell me?
Perhaps you don't even remember me anymore. Let it be so. Whatever happens, even if you forget me completely, I will never forget you. If I don't keep you in my heart, whom else will I remember? I live by keeping you in my memory.
That same you still exists. Those same memories still exist. The places where we met still exist. Walking past them brings everything back. You left—but the greater truth is... you had come. You're not here—but the greater truth is... I exist with you.
After seeing you, these two eyes have changed.

After touching you, these two hands have changed.
After losing you, I have found you even more completely. Now who has the power to make me truly alone?
12. A gentleman has come to interview Mother Teresa.
: Day after day, where do you find the strength to serve so many helpless people with such patience?

: I find it in prayer. I pray for long hours every day.

: How wonderful! So what do you say to God in your prayers?

: I say nothing. I simply listen in silence.

: I see! And what does God say to you?

: He too says nothing; He simply listens in silence.
Ah, what beautiful sahajiya pathos in prayer! This is how our unbroken conversation with God continues in solitude. This intimate dialogue is entirely personal, this quiet chamber is deeply peaceful, this eternal vision utterly spontaneous.
God resides in the temple of the mind. To reach there, one need go nowhere except into one's own soul. The soul's dwelling is God's dwelling.
I often remember a profound philosophical utterance of the Sufi mystic Mansur al-Hallaj... Anal Haqq (I am the Truth), for speaking which he was sentenced to death. His crime was this: none of them could understand the essence of his philosophy that day. People want to live in truth only in words; in reality, people are afraid to live in truth.
Truth is God, God is Truth.

The soul is God, God is the soul.

Truth, soul, and God are one indivisible, identical being.
13. A wife who shares one's dharma maintains the household,

A wife who shares one's adharma saves one's life.
When a wife who shares one's dharma is also willing to become one who shares one's adharma, she is called a friend. If she isn't willing, she is called a wife.
The bride wants a groom,

The groom wants a friend,

Making home with strangers

They perish in emptiness.
Men marry hoping for a dharma-sharing wife. Then one day they discover they actually needed an adharma-sharing companion. But by then nothing can be done. People think one thing, yet they should have thought another.
14. When a disaster cannot be avoided, and bearing it is also terribly difficult, if one can somehow manage the initial shock, people find new strength and reason to survive from that very point. Then disaster is no longer disaster, but becomes a support for moving forward. The refuge found in adversity has quite solid foundations.
15. Reduce your ego. The sky in which you are flying—many have not even considered it worthy of flight and still do not. This applies to you, me, and everyone alike.
16. I don't want to possess you. I simply want to know whether you understand this truth: that I love you with everything I have.
17. I understand everything, just a little late! I understand through loss...
18. Blue Label doesn't cost you character, it costs you money.
19. . . . as enjoying yourself is an expensive habit.
20. What pride is there in that victory,

When winning is mandatory?

What shame is there in that defeat,

When loss equals triumph?
Thoughts: Nine Hundred Sixty-One

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1. Words of the heart

Even when it hurts deeply

I keep them suppressed in my mind,

The one I love...

Whenever I try to speak

My voice trembles and breaks!
2. One must carry one's own begging bowl. A person can carry another's corpse, but not their begging bowl.
3. The moon has risen, flowers have bloomed,

What is that to me?

Even at this age, on father's shoulders—

I was born in vain!
4. A death-murmuring world.
5. The girl had wanted to become something great.
Then . . .

One day she fell in love.
She still remembers

That once she had wanted to become something great.
6. In this heart today

We two remain as one;

You have forgotten,

Yet this heart has not.
7. When night falls,

your sky covers me

and lays me to rest.
Why does my sky

not cover you

when it's time to sleep?
8. Old rice expands when cooked.

Old love grows in the night.
9. Love makes the right time wrong, and the wrong time right.
10. What cruel, shameless night this is! It won't let me forget her, nor let anyone else come to mind!
11. Weekend...solitude...
JBL-Blue Label-writing...
...life!
12. Those who cherish the new more than the old are the ones for whom nothing new holds lasting appeal. In the life of such a person, when you become the new and drift away in the current of joy, it doesn't take long for sorrow to follow.
13. People say humans are mad for beauty.

But I see that humans are mad for pain. Otherwise, would anyone fall in love again and again?
14. When there were no humans in this world, there were no paths either. Walking on foot, humans created paths. Now can we simply deny the path if we wish?
When you weren't in this life, there were no dreams either. By staying close, you created dreams. Now can you simply deny dreams if you wish?
Go if you want to go. One who cannot see the truth is blind; one who doesn't want to see the truth is a hypocrite. I mistakenly saw the wealth of the entire world in a beggar's eyes. Leave right now!
15. A garland must be shortened before wearing; if too long, it drags in the dust. A garland that drags in the dust brings not grace but disgrace.
16. As long as there's breath,

there's the bamboo stick.
17. For the belly's sake,

love's debt

withers, ends,

and flees for cash!
18. Not everyone can joke well. Many, while trying to be funny, unknowingly hurt feelings.
Not everyone jokes just to be funny. Many deliberately hurt feelings under the guise of humor.
The first type of person is called tactless.

The second type is called ill-mannered.
It would be wonderful if you could become the third type—one who consciously avoids both the first two types.
19. There's no point in staying upset. God has sent each person for a particular purpose, and they must do that work to live happily.
20. You think, "Why didn't I get a wife like Katrina!"

Your wife thinks, "Why doesn't my husband love me?" ...when she should be thinking, "Why didn't I get a husband like Hrithik!"
Men's expectations soar twice as high as their bellies.
21. His heart is vast...like the sky,

a constellation of stars in his chest...hundreds of women!
22. Love is always precious;

day by day its value only increases...

increasing until one day

it moves beyond reach.
One who falls in love

becomes worthless from the start;

day by day their value decreases until one day

they become worse than a beggar.
23. Inside the house

lives a person,

inside them, the mind;

inside the mind

lies an address,

a bond to a different home.
24. The eternal human trait is to make futile attempts at fulfilling whatever one lacks. Humans go mad for what cannot be attained! And what's within reach, humans don't even glance at.
Similarly, one who has no one to call their own, or has them yet doesn't, wants to bind strangers intimately as their own.... But when the looseness of that bond reveals itself through natural law, they become recklessly desperate, increasingly helpless and sorrowful.
Humans lose everything in their desire to live even better. When people get what they deserve to get, they gain that much; but when they get what they don't deserve, they lose even more.
The suffering we inflict on others is essentially an investment that returns manifold. . . . Yes, it does!
25. I was doing well enough,

then why did you come to keep me well?
We were doing well enough,

then why did we go to stay well?
What kind of keeping-well and staying-well is this...

whose second birth is the birth of the first death?
Not love, but greed.

Not greed, but death.
26. Knowledge without understanding is futile, meditation without understanding is futile!

Life without understanding? That is death-giving within one's very lifespan!
27. Mother often criticizes,

Father never shows affection,

Brother rarely greets with tenderness;

Even strangers on the street don't count him,

His children don't heed his warnings,

His wife doesn't embrace him with love;

When they meet, they'll ask for loans,

Fearing this, friends and family

carefully avoid the poor unemployed man;

Beloved, keeping all this in mind,

don't stay distant from money,

earning alone brings prosperity to the household.
28. The way one understands and practices or avoids one's own religion—that is exactly the kind of person one is.
29. I know that by writing and sending you these few words, I have destroyed my position with my own hands. Long ago. People destroy themselves in their suffering.
Still I write.
I feel like crying so much. Today at every moment I remembered you. Tears are falling drop by drop from my eyes, and prayers for you and your husband are flowing from my heart.
Once again I accept that since all the mistakes are mine, these tears are what I deserve. You are like a divine being to me.
One who lost you through a mistake one day,

how can he ever repay the debt of having you?
You are not here today, there's no greater truth... than that you had come!

You had come, there's no greater truth... than that you still exist!
Stay well. Wherever I am in this world, as long as I live, I will live praying for you.
In prayer I

can hear you,

can see you,

can touch you,

can understand you.
Because I couldn't recognize myself, I once let you slip away.

Today my mind says to die; my heart says to find you.
30. You had come only

to leave—

this was all that remained to be understood!
I had suspected it, true enough,

but whom could I ask...

my mind was absorbed in you then!
Our union had happened

...for the very need of separation.
Thoughts: Nine Hundred Sixty-Two

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1. The bond I wrapped around my heart,

how can I accept that it was false!
... Every time I hear these two lines, my eyes well up. I listen to the song again and again just to wet my eyes... again and again.... Sometimes it feels good to take refuge in tears to stop myself for a while. To live, one needs some pain inside the chest; at times I find great pleasure in burning with remorse. Such songs ultimately drag life forward at day's end...
Dear Pulak Bandyopadhyay, you spoke this truth so simply!!
2. There is no book greater than life. What is dearer than one's own life?
Those who have little opportunity to read books should rather pray. In prayer everything can be heard, everything can be understood. The answers to questions lie within oneself; one must pray with focused mind to see them.
What is prayer? Prayer is that practice which gives joy, awakens the heart. One whose heart remains asleep cannot be awakened even by all the knowledge in the world. Only through devotional practice does a person gradually become human.
There is no religion greater than life, no truth greater than humanity.
3. Watch quietly, don't reveal yourself.
4. People prefer not to think, so they believe instead. Thinking is laborious work; it's far more comfortable to get by through believing. If one naively believes statements like "I love you," one is bound to get into trouble. Compared to the intoxication of emotion, the intoxication of liquor is nothing at all.
5. "Like family" and "family" are not the same thing. If they were, no one would be able to rush home from the office to celebrate Eid. (How many falsehoods one must speak and hear out of professional necessity!)
"Like a sister" and "sister" are not the same thing. If they were, no one would be able to "sleep" with someone who is "like a sister." (You understand what we mean when we write "sleep.")
Come, let us abandon hypocrisy and get in line. We will all die one day anyway—what's the point of all this drama?
6. Try to walk your own path yourself. Don't ask someone else to walk that path for you when you have never walked their path and aren't walking it now. Everyone in this world has their own suffering. Each person is working to alleviate their own pain. So who will have time to think about your troubles, problems, and difficulties? And why should they?
I never ask for time; I asked for it only once in my life, after taking the HSC examination. That taught me a lesson: I understood that one can ask a stranger for time without any introduction, but one doesn't always receive it. Time is a precious commodity; asking for it without reason is foolishness. Expectation is the mother of disappointment. Practice walking your own path yourself. This is not encouraging selfishness; this is growing up.
These days people can't even give time to themselves—how can they give time to strangers? In trying to be happy in domestic life, people eventually discover that while they've been fighting to be happy with their family, they've left that very family as unhappy as before, or even more so, while the household itself remains quite content.
People are not well. Don't ask for a prescription for wellness from someone who isn't asking you for one. If he knew how to be well, he could be well on his own, couldn't he? I know this, but let me remind you anyway: Dale Carnegie, one of the world's finest motivational writers and speakers, was not a particularly happy man in his personal life.
When my mother was in the operating theater in Chennai, I met a man on the street whose home was in Bangladesh. Upon seeing me, he became emotionally overwhelmed, embraced me with a handshake, and began telling me about his personal problems. He never once asked how I was or whether I was in the mood to talk with him at that moment. He kept saying repeatedly: Brother, tell me what I can do in this situation, give me some advice, I'm a great fan of yours, etc., etc.
People are generally like this; they want to turn whomever they love into personal property. So when people show me love and respect, I become frightened and annoyed; I try to escape from them. Modern humanity's greatest crisis is this: their knowledge is endless, but they cannot or will not begin with common sense. Today, people are rendered incompetent by the weight of their knowledge.
In this matter, prayer can be your greatest refuge, if you believe in prayer. In prayer, sit in quiet communion with the Creator dwelling within your heart—if you have patience, you will receive all your answers one by one. You might even receive questions to some of those answers, if the God within your soul begins to speak. According to your faith or lack thereof, spend time in solitary prayer; you will surely find the right answers. Prayer is such a wonderful examination where all questions appear on the test.
P.S. Let me share some of my peculiar traits:
If you ever see me on the streets, it would be best: to avoid me, to leave me to my own devices.
And if you must speak, please for heaven's sake don't say things like "I'm a huge fan of yours," "I love/respect you very much," "(Found you!) I needed some advice," and such.
Also skip all personal discussions about "where I live, what I do, where I'm going and why"!
Brother/dada is fine, but don't call me sir and all that. Best of all is to call me directly by my name. I like being called by my beautiful name!
Talk to me simply, it would be pleasant. If you can't, then just avoid me.
I prefer friendship; discipleship irritates me.
7. The palace says, lifting its head high with pride,

Why do you stand beside me, humble cottage?

All the poor folk in their soiled garments

Wander through your trivial rooms.

Hundreds of wealthy sons surround me—

See what finery, how dazzling!
The cottage says with a laugh, Palace, my child,

Poor in attire perhaps, but gentle of spirit.

Your wealth brings only trouble within,

Breeds conflict between brothers, fathers and sons.

Around this cottage-shade, empty of riches and grandeur,

Even kings leave their palaces to seek peace.
8. Stay as you are—that will preserve your dignity.

If a crow tries to dress like a peacock, it only gets pecked!
9. In Rahela's home

Robi is growing up,

For whom lies all my yearning;

Though everyone knows

That besides his mother's,

The yearning for Robi

Belongs only to Robi's father.
10. I

Am not mute,

Only silent.
They

Are not silent,

Though mute.
11. In cherished love

Desire finds no fulfillment.
12. I'm sharing two strange aspects of my character:
One: I absolutely love eating hot, tasty raw green chilies. If there are no raw chilies with my rice, my mood genuinely turns sour. (When you ask for raw chilies in the market, they give you the farmer variety, which isn't hot at all and tastes awful—I'm not talking about those.)

Two: I generally don't watch TV and simply cannot tolerate the sound of television. Those who can watch TV for long stretches must surely have far greater patience!
Feel free to share such strange aspects of your own character.
13. Friend, have you ever walked carrying your own corpse on your shoulder?

That corpse of yours, in whose chest desires lay hidden—

Have you ever gone, bearing that corpse on your shoulder,

To the banks of a river that's lost both shores in the rains,

To a solitary field bathed in brilliant moonlight?
If you have gone—then surely

Your corpse has spoken with you.

It has said, float me away in this river.

It has also said, bury me in this field.
What answer did you give to its words?

Did you say... the dead should have no desires!
Thoughts: Nine Hundred Sixty-Three

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1. We understand what's forbidden and permitted, yet we don't understand the matter of causing people pain (physically and mentally). If we kept Surah Al-Ahzab (33:58) in mind as we lived, none of us should act this way.
2. Before Eid

When human suffering

Falls like blood,

Do the animals still rejoice?
3. There are three kinds of people in this world:
Someone sees a mango tree from a distance and tells stories.

Someone goes closer, counts the leaves on the tree, and tells stories; yet another eats the mango and so cannot tell stories—instead eats in silence.
What kind of person are you?
If you ask me, I'd say that depending on circumstances, I fall into different categories at different times.
4. No one lights a matchstick to show the sun. If someone does, understand this: what they're trying to show is certainly not the sun.
5. There are many paths to victory. From my experience, the best path to winning is this: for the victory you truly want, make no effort to win in places where winning isn't essential. If you want to win, you must first know where to lose gracefully. Some territories must be left for others. You can never win everywhere. The first step in preparing for a major victory is to stop caring whether you win or lose in smaller matters. Everything unnecessary for the main victory must be considered irrelevant and dispensable. Not everyone gets to taste great victory simply because most people want to win everywhere, especially in the easy places.
6. You know the waterfall, yet don't recognize thirst?
These two thirsting lips—

every time they've drawn near,

you've turned them away dismissively,

pointing toward the waterfall's path.
Can a person be this impoverished?

Or does one show wealth only by the measure of one's heart?
If you must trample everything,

then why did you teach

how to cultivate

green meadows?
What arrogance is this of yours,

whose birth and death both lie beneath feet!
7. For someone who knows little but presents himself as wise, don't try to correct anything he says or does—instead, quietly avoid him at all costs.
For someone who knows little and knows it himself, acknowledging it sincerely, value his simplicity; if opportunity allows, try to share knowledge with him—it will benefit him.
For someone who is actually wise but doesn't realize this truth himself and doesn't apply his wisdom in speech and behavior, awaken him; it will benefit you too.
For someone who is wise and knows it himself, whose work, speech, conduct, and decisions clearly reflect his wisdom—follow him, try to learn from him.
If you want to encounter the fourth type of person, get off Facebook. Facebook is a place for harvesting likes and comments, not for gaining knowledge.
Oh, I forgot to mention one more thing. Always maintain suspicion about the knowledge and mental health of those who come to you themselves and start tugging at you to give you knowledge.
8. Making mistakes isn't wrong, but clinging to the mistake is downright unjust!
9. Don't get too proud of yourself. Many people who wanted to study where you're studying didn't get the chance. Where you fought day and night to get admission, some people—having nothing else to do after waking up, brushing their teeth, and finishing breakfast—went yawning to take the exam, ranked high on the merit list, but still didn't enroll. (I'm speaking from personal experience.) Then again, many didn't even consider your beloved university worth buying an admission form for. Taking pride in your university is nothing but a kind of vulgarity. Wherever you study, remember: you are inherently a back-bencher. Back-benchers remain back-benchers in heaven, back-benchers in hell too. What's the point of jumping around in joy at being a heavenly back-bencher? You'll die one day anyway!
10. When someone persists in their misunderstanding, I feel no urge at all to correct them—if I am not at fault. What need is there, really, to explain myself to someone who has been swayed by others' words into misjudging me? And when it happens that this person is someone for whom I have endured countless failures and sorrows day after day, yet a third party with merely two days' acquaintance succeeds so easily in poisoning them against me—then truly anger, hurt, and helplessness all work together at once. I must learn to accept that someone I considered close may suddenly no longer see me as close. There is no use wasting mental energy searching for reasons or trying to make them understand the truth. Some people slip away from life, because they prefer to lose old companions.
11. Here in the mirror: me,

you

or

someone else;

or perhaps

a moment's captured image.
Sitting face to face,

drawing very near,

love;

and sudden disappearance.
12. Wherever shelter is found, that is the hermitage.

Whatever the heart seeks refuge in, that is the temple.

Therefore, parents are the hermitage, and home is the temple.

Keep religion in meditation, and it remains merely religion; but when religion can be held in thought, it becomes service.
13. As one's glasses are,

so one sees.
14. What a wondrous feeling this is! Wondrous, though not entirely new; you have told me such things several times before, but I could not hold onto them. Today you seem to have told me with special emphasis. I go to think of you, leaving myself behind. I go to think that you can exist without me. As if I am not indispensable to you. Whenever I try to rush toward you, leaving myself behind, I stumble and fall again and again.
You say this is wrong. Your love cannot exist without me. You say further that my worth to you is infinite. I have heard such words before. But I can never hold onto any of these words. I think you have so many children—you would manage without me. In thinking this way, I reduce you to human terms.
A human loses one child and remains content with another. Humans make distinctions between child and child. You say there is no such distinction in you. Every child is equal to you. Each one's worth is infinite; you love each one as if it were your only child. My worth to you is infinite; you cannot do without me. The entire purpose of your creation is centered in me. My non-existence and creation's non-existence are the same thing.
What a feeling this is! I feel this clearly. This is the fulfillment of all problems. This is the unshakeable foundation of love's practice. This is the source of love's current. Give me this feeling in luminous form. Open my eyes properly. The dust of this world is falling into my eyes—prevent it. This is what I said.
I will gaze at your love-face and not turn away. I cannot do without you. Do not leave me in darkness—take me to the realm of light. Make me your humble servant and keep me in a corner of your house, but do not banish me from the house, do not let me fall into darkness.
**Thought: Nine Hundred Sixty-Four

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1. In your times of sorrow, do not wish for anyone beside you, not even in your heart; do not seek any sympathy or prayers. Such expectations will weaken you. You will very quickly become disappointed and mentally broken. Human beings are not particularly convenient creatures.
When the sky falls on your head, it falls only on your head, and on no one else's. It's best not to share your sorrows and suffering publicly. Show everyone that you're having a wonderful time. Even better to stay off Facebook during times of trouble. Come back after the crisis has passed. You'll see that hardly anyone noticed you were gone for those few days.
Those who are truly affected by your sorrow—you'll find them beside you in real life, not on Facebook. A "standing by you" on Facebook is worth less than a horse's egg. Most people come to Facebook to enjoy themselves and entertain others. Many who read your tale of woe will privately think of you as an attention-seeker. What's the point!
Handle your own grief with your own hands; when you let others meddle with it, grief almost always grows worse.
2. For a long time I've wanted to tell you whatever comes to mind, without overthinking it. All the things I've said to you in conversation until now haven't satisfied me. Nor were they meant to be satisfying. Those words were merely preparation for saying these words. The preparation has been made in a way, now I simply feel like speaking to you of love. If I die without saying it, then the very thing I've been preparing to say for so long will remain unsaid. How then can I restrain this urge to speak?
I'm not as eager to speak as I am to listen. What I want to say is largely so that I might hear it. When I speak, I'll be speaking to hear from you. While speaking, there'll be a slight sense of "I," but once it's spoken, that feeling will no longer remain. Then when I hear all those words, I'll feel as if I'm hearing someone else's words, not my own. I've already heard much of what has been said about love for you. But hearing it doesn't satisfy me.
I haven't forgotten what I heard about your love-intoxication. Those very words have kept my mind enraptured these few years. Say those words properly now—that's what I want. Despite all my doubts, I couldn't free myself from your words in any way. My rational mind has been defeated by the logic you taught. You wouldn't let me see. You wouldn't let me speak. I've been defeated by seeing and hearing. Yet see, I didn't surrender myself completely to your hands. I didn't drown in your love, didn't lose myself in it. Yet my mind yearns to speak words of love to you. Without drowning, without losing myself, how can I speak? That's why I haven't spoken for so long. I think, let me first drown, first lose myself, then I'll speak. Then again I think, let me speak of what little I've seen, what little I've heard. Speaking, I'll drown, lose myself, speaking I'll hear, and hearing I'll drown, lose myself, and seeing my drowning and losing myself, others too will drown, will lose themselves.
But I don't like this thought of others. Let the thought of others remain aside. Let conversation flow between you and me. You speak, I listen; I speak, you listen. My speaking will become your speaking—let me not speak a single word without hearing it from you first. I listen, listen, listen, only listen—let my longing to hear be fulfilled. Speak, speak, speak, only speak—let me drown, drown, drown in your ocean of nectar-words, forget swimming and drown, sink from the deep to ever deeper depths, remain drowned, let my longing to drown be fulfilled. I know the longing won't be fulfilled, the thirst will only grow, but as the longing grows, it will also be quenched; both the thirst and the water are in your hands!
3. You see the anguish of my soul. This torment has been intensifying these past few days. It seems to grow stronger by degrees. External sorrows will surely come—you had already warned me of this.
Living long in the world brings both joy and sorrow. I was prepared for that, and I still am. But my anguish is not born of these external events. The medicine you taught me for all sorrows—I cannot apply it to my soul, and this is the cause of my torment.
If I could grasp your love with my very life, then no sorrow would seem like sorrow to me. Why can I not grasp your love? What lies within my soul is nothing but love. I speak of the soul's depths, yet I do not remain still to behold that love, to taste it. I do not plunge into it, do not lose myself in it.
My mind is still restless; moment by moment it abandons you and wanders outside. My heart is like a child's heart, like a young bride's heart. It knows how to love, but it does not know how to surrender to that love.
Without surrendering, I can go on no longer. Today I will truly behold your love, behold it so intensely that it will burn bright in my eyes. I will swallow it so completely that like a fishhook in a fish's throat, it will lodge in my heart, and I will no longer be able to be 'myself' without you.
4. In all my words lies my pride, my reliance on my own strength. This will not do. My seeing, my surrendering, my losing myself—all this too must happen through your hands. Everything is your grace. I must learn to depend on this grace. When your grace flows, only then will I plunge into your love. But my reason tells me your grace is already present. You wish for me to surrender to you right now. I need only will it, and I can surrender. Yet I have been willing it, and still I could not surrender.
I cannot penetrate this mystery. I know I have nothing of my own; everything is yours, and it is your will that I surrender to you now. Then why does the surrendering not happen? Is it that you do not wish me to surrender to you? That too seems unbelievable. There is a path through which you will lead me. Perhaps until that path is completed, the full union cannot take place?
My soul is a child's. In worldly matters I am old. People do not want to see even a trace of an old man's love in me. I too wonder, where am I old anymore?
Though I have grown old, why is my love still so restless and light like a child's? But you know I am an utterly small child. The child must be made into a human being. What use is there in objecting to your ordinance? Let me understand my childhood properly. And let me also understand that even when I do not think of myself, your ceaseless care continues, you are unknowingly making me human.
'Making me human'... what joy lies in this very thought! The suffering you give is also for this making human. But my mind grows restless moment by moment. Make my gaze of love steady, make the embrace of my arms firm.
5. From whom you could have received a world's worth of love,

from whom you could have received an ocean of affection,

in whose shadow all your problems would have been solved,

that very person you have so thoroughly irritated that they can no longer bear even your presence!
Never treat a beloved in such a way that ultimately leaves you destitute, where the blow of no return strikes you first and hardest.
Reflection: Nine hundred sixty-six

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1. For days on end, Irish rockstar Bob Geldof had been inspiring millions of people at various concerts to donate millions of pounds to put food in the mouths of Africa's starving nations. In precisely the same way, Mother Teresa was working for the destitute and helpless, though the paths these two walked were entirely different.
Bob Geldof went to Calcutta to meet Mother Teresa. Just think—two travelers on completely different paths brought together by a miraculous force called humanity.
One was a dazzling pop star who was wielding his towering popularity in the fight against global hunger; the other was a frail, diminutive woman laboring day and night in Calcutta's slums... offering a little care to the dying.
Yet both knew very well about each other's noble purpose. Bob Geldof described Mother Teresa as "a tiny giant," and he has shared what Mother Teresa said about him after their meeting: I am doing something that you cannot do. You are doing something that I cannot do. But we must certainly do these things.
No matter how small the work, when intention remains true, the outcome is always something beautiful.
2. Let us return to a story told in BBC's popular radio series called 'Five to Ten.'
A little boy was standing near Waverley Station. The boy had steel frames on both legs and had to rely on them to walk. From a distance, Edinburgh's Mr. Mackay was quietly observing the cheerful boy. Looking at him, it seemed as though he felt no sadness at all about his physical disability. Some people are happy even with their struggles.
An hour later, Mr. Mackay was climbing a steep, rugged stone path up a hill to see a castle at the top. Suddenly, to his amazement, he saw that same boy overtaking him as he climbed the steep path.
The boy was struggling greatly to climb that path and was breathing heavily. Calling out to the boy from behind, Mr. Mackay wanted to help him. Turning back with a grin, the boy shook his head and said with a laugh, "You know, I've never climbed this high before! Today I'm about to complete the biggest adventure of my life!"
Hearing the boy's words, Mr. Mackay gave a thumbs up and said, "Best of luck, champ!" and continued his own climb while watching the boy ascend.
Sometimes, standing by someone means simply letting them walk on their own strength.
3. After the American Civil War ended, General Robert E. Lee was walking past a house. In the front garden of that house, the grotesque form of a large tree bore witness to the enemy's cruelty.
Seeing the General, the homeowner said tearfully, "My father planted this tree. It's only two years younger than me. My childhood, adolescence, youth, maturity... you could say my entire life is deeply intertwined with this tree. This tree carries all the memories of my departed father. Tell me, what should I do now!"
Placing his hand on the elderly lady's shoulder, General Lee said gently, "Cut the tree down today. Don't keep attachment before your eyes. When holding on serves no purpose, not letting attachment go only increases sorrow."
The counsel that General Lee offered that day was the only medicine for healing the deep wounds of a war-torn nation. One cannot advance toward future prosperity by keeping the pain of the past perpetually dangling before one's eyes.
When we spend day and night in mourning, dwelling endlessly on the past, our lives are wasted in vain, and gradually both our desire and capacity to see begin to fade until they are destroyed altogether. Therefore, what brings no benefit in keeping should be discarded—this is the way to survive. If one wishes to live, one must look forward; how can a person survive if they keep fixing their gaze backward again and again?
4. This was long ago. The date was March 17, 1908. A new kind of book was born into the world that day. An encyclopedia for children. No, the idea of writing an encyclopedia for children had never occurred to anyone before. On that date, the first volume of the encyclopedia was published. Adults seemed to breathe a sigh of relief that day. At last, here was something that could satisfy the boundless curiosity of children!
Who initiated this great endeavor? Surely the person whose brain conceived such a wonderful concept must have been some highly educated scholar, right?
That gentleman's name was Arthur Mee, who was far from university—he couldn't even finish school. After studying for a few years, the fourteen-year-old boy Mee had to leave the classroom and take a job at the local newspaper to make a living. There he tended to printing machines and did various odd jobs. He was born in Stapleford, near Nottingham, England.
While working at the newspaper, he gradually began building connections with various kinds of people. To acquire knowledge on diverse subjects, he would immerse himself day and night in an ocean of books. Though his elementary education was completed in school, he built himself entirely through his own perseverance. From contemporary memoirs, we learn that young Arthur Mee would ask everyone about various subjects without any hesitation or embarrassment. Mee had developed an interest in learning about all sorts of subjects from his boundless thirst for knowledge. He had a peculiar habit: after learning about any subject in detail, he liked to spread his acquired knowledge among everyone; especially, playfully enriching children with various information was young Arthur Mee's passion.
At twenty, through his dedication, he became the editor of the same newspaper where he had joined as an employee at fourteen. He established a newspaper called 'The Children's Newspaper,' whose slogan was: "Whatever is good, let that be in the news." Mee's life philosophy was: We become as beautiful as we love beauty.
He died in 1943. Do you know what his last wish was before death? He had requested that after his death, no one should place flowers on his coffin, no one should bring flowers to his funeral. Instead, those who loved him should donate money to hospitals for the treatment of sick and disabled children. That would bring peace to his soul. After the death of this noble-hearted man, many fulfilled his last wish. All the gifts given for helpless children bore the inscription: For Arthur Mee.
A person is as great as their mentality.
5. The world-famous French cellist Paul Tortelier is remembered far more for his solo concerts held after World War II to spread the message of peace worldwide than for his magical musical enchantments.
This great traveler of melody believed that to force one's faith upon another, or even to attempt such coercion, was wrong. Each person, each path. Every path offers its pilgrims cool shade and shelter, therefore every path is true and beautiful. Being contemptuous or intolerant toward another's path is the root cause of all the world's unrest.
He would often say: Long ago I heard something that always circles in my mind: when someone extends a cup of tea toward you, if you say the handle is on the right, they will say the handle is on the left; and both of you are correct.
The most precious words in this world were spoken by Sri Ramakrishna more than a century and a half ago: As many minds, so many paths.
Simple words, beautiful philosophy. If followed, one can remain well and allow others to remain well. The mind must never, under any circumstances, be surrendered to anything; surrender brings only unrest.
Thought: Nine Hundred Sixty-six

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1. Ten-year-old Arko is talking with his school's headmaster.
: Arko, where are you spending this Eid vacation?

: In Faridpur, sir.

: Where in Faridpur?

: In Tambulkhana village.

: Tell me, who was born in Tambulkhana?

(The teacher had hoped in his mind that Arko would surely mention Jasimuddin's name.)

: My mother, my elder uncle and my younger uncle.

(Little Arko answered with considerable pride in his eyes and face.)
2. A father was invited to give a sermon at a small church in a remote village. He had spent considerable time preparing a script for that day, but when he arrived, he found that only one elderly farmer had come to hear him speak in that tiny chapel.
He felt somewhat disheartened. He said to the farmer: No one else came except you. Would you still like to hear my sermon? Or would you prefer to leave?
After thinking for a while, the elderly farmer slowly replied: If I prepared a bucket of chicken feed and took it to the back of my house yard, and only one chicken came to eat that feed, I would still feed that chicken.
The father was young. He was very pleased to hear the elderly farmer's response and poured out the fruits of his labor with heart and soul. He spoke for more than an hour.
After finishing his sermon, he said to the farmer: How did you find today's session? I would appreciate your feedback.
The elderly farmer replied again: "If I prepared a bucket of chicken feed and took it to the back of my house yard, and only one chicken came to eat that feed, I would still feed that chicken." After saying this much and pausing briefly, the farmer smiled and said: "...but I would never make the chicken eat the entire bucket of feed; rather, I would give it just as much as it could consume."
The father felt that having come to teach, he himself had learned much today.
3. There is a term: The Silent Sufferers. Such people never let anyone understand their sorrows and always remain cheerful. Looking at them, one would think there are no limits to the joy in their lives. Not only that, they try to help everyone with various tasks and encourage dejected people in countless ways. Being with them makes one feel that life is beautiful, that living is still wonderful.
They teach people to dream and to walk on the path of dreams. They listen patiently to others' suffering for hours on end and work to spread light in other people's lives, even though their own lives are filled with the darkness of deep despair. They find life's wealth precisely in keeping their own pain hidden from everyone's eyes.
Their constant effort is to remain hidden and never, by mistake, to tell anyone even the slightest story of their own problems. Even while burning constantly in physical or mental agony, they never complain about anything and continue to pray, thanking the Creator in any circumstance. They are not ordinary people, but rather angels with noble hearts disguised as the utterly ordinary.
A life without complaints, gained by reconciling oneself with suffering, is indeed a life of peace.
4. At the sound of the doorbell, the lady of the house opened the door to find an unknown man standing outside.
"Madam, can you have sex?"
Naturally, she was very annoyed and slammed the door in his face.
About five minutes later, the doorbell rang again.
"Madam, can you have sex?"
This time the lady cursed at him and slammed the door twice as hard as before.
"I'm leaving, but I'll be back tomorrow at exactly this time. Keep your answer ready, Madam!"... shouting this, the man left.
When her husband returned from the office in the evening, she told him everything. After hearing it all, the husband became furious and said, "I'm not going to the office tomorrow! Let that bastard come!"
At exactly that time the next day, the doorbell rang again. The woman's husband was standing right beside the door, waiting with his licensed pistol in hand.
"Madam, can you have sex?"
Today the woman replied with a smiling face and sincere voice, "Yes, yes, I can! Please come inside!"
Without entering, the man said in an extremely excited voice, "Excellent! Then please put this skill to work with your husband, and tell your bastard husband never to bother my wife again!"
5. An elderly lady went to the doctor's chamber.
"Doctor saheb, I feel very embarrassed to talk about my problem, but I must tell you."

"Please tell me, what's the matter?"

"Gas is almost constantly being released through my rectum. But there's never any sound and no bad smell spreads either. For instance, since coming here, I've done this at least fifteen times, but no one has noticed. What should I do?"

"I see, I understand. I'm prescribing medicine for you, come back in seven days. Don't forget to take the medicines three times daily without fail!"
A week later, the lady went to the doctor's chamber. Her voice clearly showed annoyance and anger.
"I don't know what medicine you gave me, but after taking your medicine, my physical problem has gotten worse than before."

"How so?"

"The amount of gas being released is the same as before, it hasn't decreased at all; rather, after taking the medicine, now there's an additional new problem. Before there was no smell at all, and now I can't tolerate the stench myself. What medicine did you give me?"

"Calm down, Madam. You had a severe sinus problem, that's been cured, so now you can smell. Today I'm prescribing medicine to fix your hearing."
6. (To the soldiers) Commander: Which of you loves singing? Raise your hands.
Two soldiers quickly raised their hands.
"Come here! Quick!"
Looking at the text expectantly for praise of their taste, they joyfully rushed forward and stood before everyone.
"The elevator in our building has broken down. Go on, take my daughter's harmonium up to the apartment."
They took it upon themselves to find out: the commander's apartment was on the ninth floor.
7. Teacher: The most blissful death in this world is: death while sleeping. Only good people can die this way.

Nadia: Miss, then my grandfather must surely have been a good man.

Teacher: Why?

Nadia: Because at the time of death, he was sleeping.

Teacher: Oh, he truly was a good man. How did he die? Heart attack?

Nadia: No no, Miss, Grandfather didn't have heart trouble.

Teacher: How very sad. Where was he sleeping when he died? In bed? In an easy chair?

Nadia: No Miss, he was in a bus at the time.

Teacher: Oh dear, such a good man! Didn't the other passengers try to save him?

Nadia: How could they? There were no passengers beside him. He was driving the bus at the time.