Piecing Together

 The ocean says, I'll touch the sky
 riding on clouds' wings,
 The sky says, I'll touch the ocean
 falling down as rain.
 I too touch you every day
 mingling in air and water,
 I leave my eyes in your eyes
 in color; and in what else?
  
 You think you won't read this either. Maybe you will, with closed eyes. Like this?
 I call you in dreams, keeping my eyes shut too.
 Read it this way if you must, I'll show up and say just fine—Yes sir!
 Life feels so strange, doesn't it, tell me?
 The one who would be lost—I never thought...gets lost!
 The one I tried to hold onto—I never tried...stays!
 Is there anything that's truly 'mine'?
 Eyes that hold no tears, the water they contain could fill oceans racing toward the great sea.
 People only saw the tear-bright eyes, alas!
 The eyes that dried up—no one kept track of them!
 Weary tears of sorrow one day freeze and roll away.
 Still those eyes harbor a hidden fear—what if that ice starts melting again!
 Once more...the flood breaks loose, those burnt eyes race in rhythm with monsoon torrents.
 Tears hide the rain, rain hides the tears—tearrain raintears—both fall!
 When a big stone rolls down a mountain, a few small stones roll with it...who understands this in time!!
  
 Knowing stones are stones, I gather them, treasure them like diamonds. People think I'm mistaken, taking them for gems. Still I gather stones.
 In the playful dance of sunlight on that gleaming pitch, in water's sweet mischief, I laugh.
 That water lies—knowingly casts my shadow on my body.
 Even knowing, my shadow runs after it, chasing behind!
 Everyone thinks
 drunk on mirages perhaps—I lose direction, dissolved in illusion!
 On that vast ice-path, in bare feet's intimate touch;
 skin so tender—warm frost blisters and peels away!
 Fire's touch does the same...
 That peeling skin, whoever sees it
 doesn't know what played in its past—fire or ice?
  
 If you love, stay far away! That's better!
 The more you think you love him close,
 the farther he stays in unlove!
 Come near and you'll realize
 how distant he thinks you are!
 The touch that, being touched, announces untouchability more than non-touch,
 avoid that touch!
 That touch makes the sorrowful fierce,
 makes the fierce sorrowful!
 What's the point of adding to this heavy world's weight?
 Fierce sorrow and sorrowful fierceness—two people shake the earth!
 That last refuge for living...leave it be, don't finish it!
  
 Teach me a little...
 how to stay fine without loving!
 I'll bind you in gratitude forever!
 I promise, never again will I—
 torment that you,
 make this me weep.
 I'll fade away, stay dissolved
 within myself!
 Even if I become 'nothing,' don't search for me,
 if you knew the pain of being missing,
 you'd know exactly where the hurt strikes!
 Resentment rises, pain mingles with it
 hammering at my head.
 Even nanoseconds limp along...I keep counting,
 I pass time stringing together bad times,
 when I look at the clock, alas,
 time remains the same!
 The clock hands don't move anymore,
 my life doesn't pass anymore.
  
 In intense currents of feeling
 my self abandons me,
 everything floats away—far off...
 in the old house's quiet corner I remain.
 I weave tales of shamelessness,
 pin on reproach, hear disgust.
 At some point all the tsk-tsks pile into mountains in my heart!
 Yet see, alas, if you put your hand on this heart,
 perhaps even higher mountains.
 In feeling and thought's current
 love—costs the most!
 Even after being struck, I believe this!
  
 Cruel time passes indifferently,
 the moment that's gone is completely gone—
 just thinking this I cry out,
 storms lash, pain whirls through my heart!
 I think in chaos—
 because hours passed in resentment
 I resent myself.
 I beg them desperately,
 come back, come back...!
 But they don't return, don't return...
 Life passed paying the price for mistakes unlearned!
 When I lose myself again and again, I search for myself in that room
 where everyone else is, only I am in another room!
  
 To whom I'm not even human,
 I think of them as gods!
 See how this inhuman life passes
 when I carefully cultivate sorrow!
 How happily I burn—
 fire runs out, I make more fire!
 I end, but the fire doesn't end!
 Breaking down my own house,
 I build another's house, laughing!
 If letting go of another's life
 makes me let go of my own life,
 how do I live?
  
 What else can I do!
 When I used to stumble while walking,
 you all still told me to walk!
 After learning to run too,
 you forbid me to walk!
 Terrible obstacles when I try to move!
 Does life accept everything?
 Learn to walk only to become crippled—is it that simple?