Dear Soubhik, I know this well enough— you don't need me to love me. You love someone else all by yourself,... touching her cheek in secret, filling her heart with tenderness, gently tugging her hair... and so much more! I watch and wonder, why don't I go blind... even now? Tell me, Soubhik, do you know her? Do you really know her? I don't think so! You don't really know anyone, silly boy! Yet see how thinking of her keeps your mind so busy, and like a pampered cat you still come back to me to hide your face. Still you won't breathe a word... you're such a rogue! Acting as if you don't need me at all! Who am I to you...! Soubhik, with all this constant talk of death, death—tell me, when you're gone, who will kiss these eyes so secretly? Who will suddenly grab my hair and sit there with that grave expression? Listen, boy, don't you dare go anywhere leaving me alone! If you must go, take me with you, won't you? I want so much to curl up inside your chest and lie there quietly. You know, I can't bear it at all... when you're in pain... it brings me no joy! I want to see you laugh, I want to see your joyful self. Come back, Soubhik! Come back to yourself! I'm waiting here for you! Come, Soubhik, let's walk hand in hand back from that distant golden dream-lake's shore? Get up, no more painting. Get up now, get up...!
I'll pour water over all your canvases, I will. Get up, I'm telling you. Still painting? On your favorite t-shirt... wait, let me make a hole in it! Let me see how angry you get! How you shout and scream!
You'll scold me terribly, won't you? Get so mad you'll hit me? Hah! Come within arm's reach just once...! If you scold me, you'll see—all your shirts will be sitting there buttonless in a split second! Tell me, how will you go to the office then?
I don't care about anything, get up! Comb your hair. And put on some cologne. Not that awful one... that one there, the one that burns my nose when you wear it!... Put on the one I like, won't you? So that whenever you move this way or that, fragrant air comes swirling to fill this restless heart of mine...
Does anyone keep such a face, Soubhik? Smile a little!