On Disillusionment in Relationships

We think that if we can't marry the person we were in a relationship with, someone we love, someone who loves us, loved us—then life is over!

I say, you fool! Why must you marry them?! Who you will marry, who you'll be with, who you won't be with—all of it is predetermined. If that weren't the case, I mean what I'm saying is, sometimes I think I should have married Aishwarya Rai. I deserve a girl like Aishwarya Rai...There's no such thing as "deserving" in life. What life has is earning, achieving. What I got and what I didn't get—that's all!

I deserve her, I used to love her, she loved me, I spent so much time with her, she spent so much time with me, blah blah blah! Forget it! Completely...forget it! You still love the person you used to love. If you didn't love them, you wouldn't want to have them! You wouldn't feel sad thinking about them, you wouldn't cry! You didn't love them, no! The truth is, you still love them. They can't love you anymore, they used to before! It's his or her problem...not yours! When we love someone, it creates a kind of energy within our mind. That mental energy greatly enriches the mind, and with that power of the mind we can achieve many things.

Think about it—you love someone, this feeling motivates you to do good work. This feeling motivates you to be sincere in your work. Most importantly, you become the owner of some beautiful feelings. How? You love them, don't you? When they're well, you feel good! I know...you do! When you talk to them...when they cough softly, you think, oh! They must have caught a cold. You think that, don't you? You do, you do...! When you see them looking a bit thin, you think, oh! They're probably not eating properly!

My friend! This is a power! This is energy! This is tremendous energy! This ability to love someone—there's no greater fortune than this! Not being able to love anyone—there's no greater sorrow than this! The most fortunate person in the world is one who can love someone. Someone whom many love, but who can't love anyone in return—there are no two people more miserable than them in this world.

Yes, what I was saying! You love them, you still love them, and that love has awakened a goodwill within you, keeping you well. Just stay in that goodness! Why are you feeling so sad?! Love has no connection with expectation. If you think they'll always be by your side, then that's not love, that's romance! You want to touch them! You want them near you! You want them to call you! You want them to give you time! You want them to talk only with you all the time! Honey, have you eaten! Baby, have you eaten! These aren't love! These are romance. These are relationships.

Relationship, romance, love—these are three different stages. Among them, the highest stage is love! Whether I get them or not, I love them. Whether they call me or not, I love them. Whether I see them or not, I love them. Whether they respond to me or not, I love them. There's no greater power than this. Why are you neglecting this power?! Why are you being unjust to this power?!

Why are you suffering so much? If you love someone, must you have them?! Who told you that? I didn't get them! But when the person I loved is well, I feel very good. They've blocked me on Facebook; on WhatsApp, blocked me on Viber! Oh my God! Even blocked me on Imo! What a fool! Does blocking reduce love, tell me?! Can blocking block love! Can the heart ever be blocked! Can the mind ever be blocked!

I still see them with a fake ID...sometimes! When they post pictures with their husband, I love seeing them. When they wear a sari, I love seeing them. Saris suit them so well! Still do! Thirty years from now, when they become a bent old woman, it will still suit them! This is love.

Thirty years from now when wrinkles appear on their skin, I'll think, no one in the world has skin more beautiful than this! Thirty years from now when they feel tired while laughing, I'll think, no one in the world has ever laughed more beautifully than this. Thirty years from now when they look at me, I'll think, no one can look so beautifully. (I know, they probably won't look at me anymore, but I liked imagining it that way, so I wrote it.) Yes, this is love.

My friend! I'm happy. I'm living thinking this. I'm drawing sustenance from this. I didn't get them, so what?! I wasn't meant to have them. But I was meant to love them. That's exactly what I'm doing. So...no injustice has been done to me. Nothing has happened to me that wasn't supposed to happen. What's happening is what was meant to happen. I wasn't meant to have them, I didn't get them. I was meant to love them, I'm loving them. That's it! What's the point of suffering so much?!

On my page, 90% of the messages I receive are about love, about romance. Got rejected, life is over! What do they say—I'll commit suicide! I'm finished! I'm finished! I'm finished! Oh my God!

Listen! In one lifetime, a person falls in love many times! Every time they fall in love, they feel like they probably can't live without that person! Every single time they feel this! Yet they survive just fine. They live quite happily, in fact. My friend! Life is short! Very short! Life is brief! Enjoy it! You're wasting your life over some love. Does love run away? Love is there! Let it be! No problem. A person can love multiple people at the same time. Even psychology says so.

I try to study psychology a bit. From what I've learned, a person can love multiple people simultaneously. It's also possible that you never loved the person you married, not in your entire life. Yes, that too is possible. What works for you with them isn't love; it's affection. Due to this affection, you've learned to hold onto them little by little, and by holding on like this, you can quite well spend a lifetime. Why are you overthinking, friend?! The person you got probably loves someone too! They're afraid to tell you. Sometime ask them like a friend, you'll find out. There's nothing to fear so much. Nothing to stress about so much.

If your career gets ruined because of the person you love...because you couldn't get them, then that's not love at all. True love teaches people to become strong. My friend! They left you, didn't they? Very good! Excellent! Do something that makes them think, I shouldn't have left this boy or this girl. They've managed to organize their life. That is the sweet revenge! That is the sweet reply! That is the best thing you can do for yourself! Do it! Just do it!

I used to like a girl. Loved her! She said, Sushanta will never achieve anything in life! She said, Sushanta has no ambition! A person without ambition can't achieve anything in life...The rest is history!!! She'll never tell me, but I know, deep down she regrets it! My friend! I have only one sorrow—I couldn't keep that girl happy! I really wanted to keep that girl happy, I still do. I couldn't take on the responsibility of keeping that person happy! This is my one regret!

She's doing well with her husband! She's traveling with her husband! She's taking pictures with her husband! Believe me, I like this. I want her husband to stay healthy! I want her to stay healthy! I want their child to stay healthy! May they all be well. But that goodness I couldn't preserve—this seems to me my greatest failure. Yet love never feels like failure to me. Love is always success. It's never a failure. Not being able to keep her well—that is my failure.

Don't take so much tension, brother! Such a small life! What's the use of crying! Die tomorrow, and it'll be two days the day after! Drop all this! What's the point of so much pain! What's the point of so much worry! Live properly. Keep yourself well properly. Keep the people around you well. You loved her, love her still! No problem! Love her your whole life. No problem at all. But don't destroy yourself, not even by mistake! Please!