Now, in the urgency of the moment's birth

When I wake and seek shelter on your chest with half-closed eyes,
when you burn me in the warm embrace of your breast,
then I feel a terrible urge to go mad!
These days when I'm caught in so much clamor,
when it becomes hard to give you time,
then my heart rebels violently.
I feel as if I've left you alone at home and wandered far away,
a voice from within my very being cries out, come home, I want to go home.


If you had to take me, did it have to be like this? Does anyone take someone this way?
Silently separating me from everyone else and taking me away...
Why did you do this? I didn't even know when I came into this unknown realm...
Am I not allowed to go into the clamor? To live in my own way?
I do live alone, I am meant to live alone, I keep no one by my side...
Then why do I feel so terribly alone even in the midst of clamor these days?
I'm constantly immersed in thoughts of you,
isn't that enough for you? Does it become less?
Where do you want to hide me, taking me away from everything?


How very proper and civilized a lover you've become!
Tell me, is all the savagery confined only to those moments of caress?
Let me be a little unwise this time,
I'll hold out my hand to receive a morsel of love from you,
or let me soak this courtyard of my heart with tears and make it muddy...
In those other moments I'll be a seeker, if only a little!
I'll practice the discipline of love or passion...
Today that old emptiness is gone,
gone too is any regret of incompleteness,
today my very being has become scattered in my consciousness, when
all the incomprehensible moods and emotions of your love arrived!


One day, choosing your moment, take a little more time and talk with me!
See if I grow tired of your unruly love?
Or stay a little longer in my depths, the way you love to stay!
One day tell me something about love,
or just tell me something utterly absurd!
Say whatever comes to your mouth and see if your words disgust me!
Or is all this just empty chatter...what I say these days?


Lately I've become even more alone,
I seem to have withdrawn into myself more than before,
yet this never feels like loneliness to me!
This solitude doesn't hurt,
it comes quietly to the door of my mind
and leaves your message! How wonderful it feels, truly!
This me has gotten stuck in the quicksand of that you!
As you pull me down into your fathomless abyss,
tell me, how will I find release from here?


The grace of love that I can't find anywhere but in your chest,
what you've kept there in your breast, where else could I find so much, tell me!
The rich become misers or misers become rich...I've heard.
Drop by drop of love on the vast land of your chest
you've built an ocean of love, perhaps that's why you too are miserly with love!
Tell me, the day I'm no longer here, to whom will you give all that love?
Who will take it this way, looking and looking? Whose responsibility will that be? Where else will you find someone so shameless?
Who will hold out their hands? Who else will bow their head and become a beggar for your love?
To whom will you give so much then, I ask?
Even searching through thousands, will you find another so surrendered?


Go ahead and search if you have so much doubt!
What value does love have if there's no one to give it to?
It just lies there and rusts away, becomes useless after a while!
Do you remember?
That first morning?
The day you first entered deep into me?
The day this inside first learned to be turned upside down?
The day you first uprooted all pain, suffering, regret, memory
and established only yourself in my depths?


Do you remember that day?
How bohemian I had become...ah, that day!
From morning to evening, the work of your repair was going on in my depths for the first time...
Will you strike such a chaotic blow?
Let everything be broken, crushed, burned to ash and mixed with the wind,
let nothing of my love remain within you!
Will you strike such a blow?


Why don't you? Do you feel pity for me?
Do you pity striking a beggar?
Or do you lack courage? Or hesitate to be revealed?
Or do you fear descending low by striking a beggar?
Why so much pity only for me?
Either love me with great ceremony, or causing a great catastrophe
uproot this love and tear me apart, make me wretched!
I want to become wretched...
Why such pity in destroying me?
People are like this...
Or are you not human...someone else in human guise?