I was scattered then, I'm scattered still... My morning sleep breaks late despite the alarm! I mean, I still haven't quite grasped the importance of being punctual.
My eyeliner on both eyes never matches, I just can't manage it really.
When I stay up nights, the day's routine falls apart; when I sleep during the day, night's sleep runs away. I stay up nights, drink black coffee and look at your pictures. I think, what a beautiful person you are! Amazing!
I have so many complaints against you, so much hurt, so much longing. I'm not sorry for that. These will stay with me, I'll remain like this for life. I'll live exactly like this, carrying a bundle of grievances.
Almost always I'll become 'reckless' for such meetings, I'll act crazy. I'll stay scattered like this. Maybe I won't hold onto hurt and complaints against you anymore; even if I do, I won't let you know. Don't blame me for shortening your life, please!
All this is the accounting from my side. Now let's see the accounting from your side, how is it? You're very neat, organized, the perfect type of person, I know, I've seen. Forget the calculations of who has how much knowledge, how much brain, who's big, who's small.
I can go to some corner with my madness, no problem. I've accepted myself this way. If you don't want to accept me, I'll leave. Everyone has the right to live in peace. I'm in favor of that right. Let me be alone. Let me find my flaws, give myself a little more time; let me care for and love myself.
If you want to leave, go right now. I've never held anyone back, nor let myself be held back. My nature isn't like that really. In my eyes I'm a bird, and so are you. I'm not the type to cage someone who's learned to fly, I'm not that kind of lover either. There are plenty of such people though, go find them. Do I sound a bit arrogant? No, this isn't arrogance, it's honesty. I'm really like this, perhaps you didn't understand.
I fight so many battles, did you ever think that there's weariness in my fighting? No, you didn't notice. I'm so very tired, there's no strength left in my wings, the light in my eyes is dimming. Still, I haven't lost. Letting you go isn't my defeat. Learn to think anew, beloved!