No one is mine

I have no one…
no one at all, I tell you.
To fling away these heavy books
and run headlong into someone's arms—
I have no one like that.

I have everything—all that humans need—I have far more than enough.
Yet all day long, all night long…just
something's missing, something's missing, it feels.

This chest I adorn with makeup,
over which I slip a velvet fitted blouse and drape heavy necklaces,
this chest of mine is so hollow inside, so utterly hollow that…
I could fit an entire city within it.

But as twenty-seven turns to twenty-eight, I never once noticed that…
growing emptier and emptier, my chest is slowly caving in.
Believe me, I have no one of my own,
not even a crow or sparrow.
Look at me—really look, with open eyes—
God never sent anyone like this to earth.

I have no beloved like that,
to whom I could say, weeping and wailing,
to whom I could ask with wide, questioning eyes…
that beneath my blouse, apart from breasts, there's nothing at all—this enormous truth of my life, how did you…how did you know it before I did, my beloved!