Moonlight falls even upon sorrow's skin

 
Why are you like this, tell me?
Sometimes I feel I know you through and through.
And sometimes you seem so utterly strange to me…
then my breath wants to stop altogether.


Then I call you by all kinds of names. I love calling you.
I call you Vuchu Vuchu.
When I think of you, you feel like Vuchuiya Vuchuiya,
you feel like Murong-e-Azam.
And you feel like vanilla ice cream,
you feel like Paglababai,
like Kutuskatus, Tukustakus, Putusputus.
And…you feel like my soft pillow…


Sometimes you feel like my companion through lifetimes,
my playmate at Ludo.
I think you are the joy of getting drenched in rain!
You are winter's velvet quilt too!
In summer's heat, you dwell in the splash of cool water.
In sudden waking loneliness, you remain there silently.
You are my absent-minded soul.
You are also my tangled mind's frown.
You are some lost beloved intensity of mine.
So much more…if I started telling, several nights would pass.


I torment you so much, don't I?
Tell me honestly…do you find me unbearable when you see me?
Oh…one more thing.
You are also my finger that licks the last page clean!
You are so many things to me, and yet somehow…


You know, darling, the first of those two south-facing windows of your house
can be seen from my rooftop.
I wish I could become invisible and fly straight to your windowsill!
Go into your room, then sit quietly in one corner and watch you.
Nothing is more urgent than watching you. I want to,
when you lie down to sleep, slowly go and sit beside you!
After you fall asleep, I'll stroke your hair…
stare unblinking at your drowsy face.


You will live a long time, my magic gold…
otherwise, who will I have my dear squabbles with?
Who will I keep saying 'Good…morning noon evening night' to?
My…
Whatever…stay well.
To live, I'll need a person, you see, to whom I can often say…stay well!


Never speak to me of your death!
When I hear such things from your lips, it hurts me terribly! My heart trembles constantly!
In this world, whether anything is certain for us or not,
death certainly will be! I know this. Still,
it's not something to chant like a mantra…
I don't like hearing such talk.
We're alive as long as there's life in us. Let's stay with life that long!
Understand, mister?…you rotten person!


I feel like holding you close and crying…just because!
Could you let me hold you once…
I know touching you is forbidden…still…
sometime, of your own will…would you, please?
All this talk of mine feels so trivial to you, doesn't it?


This is life's rule. The one you love deeply,
with them your thoughts and way of expressing yourself will be different.
How different—you know it, I know it too. So, never mind!
Stay well, my little one!…Oh, I didn't mention, I also call you this fondly…Puchku!
What a crazy creature you are!


I want to hold you close—actually, not exactly hold close, but hug you!
You won't have any shirt or vest on, but um, I mean, keep the pants on!
I'll breathe in your body's scent…even the bacterial smell of sweat!


I had told you there would be no talk of all that mushy stuff.
What's happening today…I feel like talking about that very thing!
Can I speak of it? Will you beat me if I do?
You won't get angry if I say something foolish, will you?


Ah, at day's end, these very imaginings keep me alive!