Monologue of a Torn Letter

If I write you letters or send you photographs, you'll ignore them—it suits you. You needn't say anything. The limits of what can be ignored were crossed long ago. Now there's nothing left to say, nothing left for either of us to look upon. Better than ignoring me—say nothing to me at all.

My waiting too has ended. I've never felt such stillness before. I want nothing of your time, your pictures, your words. I seem to have entered another world. Nothing is needed here. Even being ignored feels like nothing. It was written in my fate that I would receive such neglect, and I brought it upon myself. I understand that even that is over now. All our words to each other have been spoken. It's time for both of us to remain silent.

Please, ignore me, ignore my entire existence. Think that there is no one called me anywhere. Yesterday I wrote two letters, just tore them up. My soul has died. I'm not complaining about it. I will go on living in good health. You don't need to disturb a dead person. I haven't harmed anyone.

I've given up writing so it would be easier for you to let me go. I feel such an urge to write, but I don't. I keep my mind turned elsewhere. What else would you have me do? I lived even with neglect, because I had no other choice. Now neglect doesn't even touch me. I only breathe now. I will walk so silently that you won't even realize I exist somewhere.

But please, you must write. You write, and I will read. If there is one reader left for you, or if only one person remains in the world who waits for your writing, that person is me. I know it pains you when you cannot write. When I see your photograph I want to cry so much. At the office, surrounded by so many people, I couldn't stop crying when your picture in my wallet suddenly fell before me.

That we'll never meet again—I've accepted it. You don't need to keep reminding me of this. When I feel like seeing you, I look at your photograph and cry. I've grown accustomed to it. At least I'm saved in this way—I can see your picture whenever I want, and even if you lack time, at least there's no shortage of photographs. Ha ha ha...I'm happy with just that. I want nothing else now.