Measuring Rod

 
Believe me, even today, I am still yours.
Near your eyes, beside your breath, look for me…
You'll find me, just as before.


Perhaps you've forgotten, but I remember exactly…
that first time, trembling hands reaching out to touch you, my vow…
I'll stay by your side!...the most difficult words of all!
Lately I no longer fear losing you,
for I've learned there's only one way to find—by losing first!


If need be, give me death,
feed me poison, hang me from the gallows…as you please,
but accept me still!
Make me suffer eternally, punish me endlessly if you must,
but don't take such pain as would force me to leave!
I beg you, don't abandon me and flee!


Don't kill me anymore by asking if I love you!
In such disbelief, in hesitation and shame, among all those crowds,
don't throw that public smile and come home to weep!


Take everything, as much as you want! Just keep me in memory's throng,
never ask for any of it back!
Will you punish me? Then do it!
I'm giving, I'll give…don't stretch the punishment longer with such doubt…


Tell me, what do you want? Will you take revenge?
If I gave it back to you too,
would you stay silent then…accepting it all?
Or will you settle accounts now—how much you gave, how much you got?


Is your measuring rod correct? Can it measure the sky?
The ocean and mountains too? If so, then start measuring—nothing stops you!
You really make me laugh! These days, do you understand life only through such calculations?


How would those accounts work in my case?
What I got, what I gave—I never wrote it down anywhere…can't even remember!


Know this: I'm raw at accounts, raw with words, raw even at pretense…!
Just as you don't understand my poetry,
I don't grasp your words.
In so many words, you lose that little something—the most precious thing to say!
Why, understanding everything, don't you speak those few words that, if acknowledged,
would let you remain, let me remain…exactly as much
as it takes for us together to become what we're meant to be!