Love's Way of Living

 My previous experiences with love were not particularly pleasant. I don't know whether that was love or not, but I do know this much—there was nothing joyful about it. One reason it might not have been love is that it brought me little happiness. Love, I know, brings joy at the beginning. That brought pain from the start and pain at the end.
  
 Look, love isn't rocket science. You can tell when it arrives, you can tell when it doesn't. Sometimes everything seems right, yet something indefinable just doesn't click. Without that clicking, love simply doesn't happen! They call it vibe, I suppose.
  
 But now it's different. I feel good being with you. I can be myself. I don't have to perform or feel like a fraud. I feel utterly at ease. I don't have to pretend to be what I'm not in front of you. Even with you present, I can freely express what I like or dislike without hesitation.
  
 In front of you I can be silly, affected, even put on airs. I don't have to calculate anything. Even when I'm dieting, I can sit before you and polish off an entire pizza, or a full plate of kacchi biryani! You say nothing about it, and I like that. Instead, you want me to eat whatever my heart desires!
  
 It's not as if we talk all day. You have your own life, I have mine. We're both busy with our respective lives. When you're not beside me, I want to call you. I want to know what you're doing, whether you've eaten, how you're feeling. I enjoy talking with you, spending time with you.
  
 Having separate lives is essential for a relationship. It's not as if your sole occupation is hovering around me. Same with me. This preserves mutual respect between us. A relationship with no respect, only love, eventually falls apart.
  
 The fundamental thing in relationships is understanding. Those who don't understand each other have no business being together, I believe. By being together, I mean maintaining a relationship. I know you have your own world, and sometimes you want to be in that world. Then I don't disturb you; I let you be yourself. Sometimes you say nothing at all, remaining completely silent. None of this is abnormal. People can want to stay quiet! It happens to me too.
  
 When you or I remain silent for long periods, one of us starts telling adult jokes or makes up funny incidents. Then we both roll around laughing. This friendship between us has wonderfully sustained our relationship.
  
 Perhaps because we understand each other so well, neither of us worries about the other's silence or personal world. We each have our own work. I don't trouble myself about your work, you don't trouble yourself about mine. We've accepted that you don't understand my work, I don't understand yours. And we have no headaches about this. Everyone desperately needs personal space!
  
 We know that whatever happens, we are and will remain together. Your sorrows and fears are mine, my sorrows and fears are yours. We know how to share with each other.
 Neither of us minds if we don't send each other good morning or good night messages. We don't feel compelled to chat until three in the morning, call each other every hour, or monitor each other's movements—we have none of this childishness between us.
  
 This is how we are. We're happy being this way. Isn't this called love? Even if this isn't love, we don't object. We want to be together—love would be nice to have, but we'll manage fine without it too. We respect each other, we know how to gracefully accept each other's personal lives. At the end of the day, living well matters more than living for love.