Life When the Soul Becomes Living / Part Two

51. I neglect my nightly or dawn sleep to touch my dream, and then you people look at me and say I get everything overnight! If you must look, don't look at my exterior—look at what lies within. Try to feel the heat of that fire that burns there day and night. If you cannot do that, then say nothing about me, come to no conclusions about me—simply enjoy my work. If you don't wish to do even that, then don't look at me or my work. There's so much else in the world worth looking at, isn't there? Trust me on this—I will never force you to look my way. I don't have that kind of time.
52. Every day I strengthen my self-confidence anew, because I believe self-confidence is a mental force that helps me do what I want to do. Yes, it needs daily care, otherwise it gets lost. Think about it—could you take one bath and go a whole week? Self-confidence is just like that—you have to apply it to your body and mind every day.
53. On my journey, I try never to trust anyone so blindly that they would gain the power to harm me. Yet mistakes happen anyway. Some people make you want to trust them. Some of them break that trust. They're human, after all—there's really no way to live without making this mistake. But once someone breaks trust, they can never be trusted again.
54. I try to avoid the company of small-minded people at any cost, because most of the time such people tend to be unpleasant by nature. There's nothing to be gained from associating with someone whose mind is small. And I avoid another type of person—the miserly. I'm not talking about those who lack means and therefore cannot spend. I'm talking about those who have means but won't spend. There are no people more irritating than them. After they die, others live comfortably on the money they left behind.
55. I am more attracted to mental beauty than physical beauty. Because mental beauty stimulates and energizes me tremendously, while mere physical beauty makes me uncomfortable. But when I encounter someone beautiful both inside and out, I am enchanted, I keep looking. Just as being physically beautiful doesn't make someone good-hearted, being physically unattractive doesn't make someone bad-hearted either. The funny thing is, many of us broadly assume beautiful people to be bad-hearted. Why we think this, we ourselves don't know. I've personally seen many ugly people harbor terrible mentalities.
56. Every day I prepare myself with the intention of doing some good deed...so I can sleep peacefully at night, free from worry. The mentality of self-sacrifice helps one sleep in peace. Do someone a favor every day; if you can't do that, say a few kind words to someone, brighten someone's mood. There is nothing more peaceful and comforting in this world than living for the welfare of others.
57.

I'm speaking to women: perhaps you're not from a wealthy family, you're not beautiful, not smart, you can't even speak properly or coherently, you never had the good fortune of attending a prestigious school, maybe you were never even a good student—but even without all these so-called 'good qualities,' keep one strength within yourself: the honest courage and willingness to work hard enough to transform your own dreams into reality. With just these two things, I've seen many people walk very far indeed.
58. I possess an infinite mental strength—the ability to silently endure insults and humiliation from others in any situation, to learn from them, and to extract wisdom. You know what I do? In the very moment I'm being humiliated, I convince my mind: how much longer do I really have to go through this situation? At most an hour or so...that's it, right? After that, everything will be fine. Life will return to what it was before. I still have everything that's mine; nothing is lost. So why not let that time pass, why not grit my teeth and endure it? What's the harm? Truly, every storm in this world eventually subsides. One must know how to wait for that—this is something to be learned.
59. I don't really have friends, because I know that no one is more acceptable and trustworthy to me than myself, so I am my own best friend. If being friends with someone makes you feel bad, makes you feel small, then forget friendship—there's no point in maintaining any relationship with them at all. Another thing is that most of those we consider friends aren't really friends at all, just acquaintances. We waste a lot of time with them and fail to do our own work properly. I have yet to see a single person who has gone far in life while spending their time chatting idly on street corners. Someone who has time for everyone in the world is nothing but worthless.
60. In my times of suffering, no one ever wiped away my tears, but I dream of wiping away the tears of those who weep, of bringing at least some change to a few people's lives. I want to prepare myself to be a companion to human suffering. Those who spoke two kind words to me during my sorrows—I could count them on my fingers. I found no one who kindly extended a helping hand. I didn't need financial help then; I needed a compassionate glance or a word or two of sympathetic advice. Believe me, I found no one by my side then. I want to stand in that empty space where if someone had come and stood, many lives would have been saved.
61. From all those places I had to retreat with head bowed in shame, I prepared myself each day, bit by bit, to one day stand there with head held high. Yes, now even if those places called me, I might not be able to go due to lack of time. What keeps me so busy? The preparation to take myself to even greater places—that's what keeps me busy. Those places that once didn't value me, now I don't have time to care about their validation. The person who once didn't think it necessary to answer my calls—now I don't even have time to answer theirs.
62. The reality is that without self-interest, no one thinks about anyone else. I will prepare myself in such a way that even if people don't think about me, they will be compelled to think about my work.
Even those who dislike me or cannot stand me will be unable to ignore my work. They may not love me, but they will have to love my work. The reflection of my thoughts and deeds will be such that others, seeing my work, will say—I too want to accomplish something like this in my life. People will remember my work and my ideas with respect. This is my challenge to myself.
63. Now while my peers are enjoying themselves, I am toiling hard, but there will come a time when I will rejoice, and my friends and the entire world will watch that joy with wonder in their eyes—this is how I have thought about life. Perhaps that time of joy has not yet arrived, but I am in a far, far better place now than I once was. This is the fruit of that very thinking. You may not reach the summit of the mountain, but the dream of reaching that summit must remain within you. If even that is absent, you will never be able to move yourself from your present position.
64. I compete with no one; all my competition is with myself. I firmly believe there is only one challenge before me—today's 'me' must be better than yesterday's 'me', tomorrow's 'me' must be better than today's 'me'. Every day I want to surpass the person I was the day before. This is my dream. As long as there is breath in my chest, no one has the power to defeat me.
65. In relationships of deep sincerity, I never have any financial transactions, and where financial transactions exist, I have no emotions. Therefore, I have decided that with those I love, I will never enter into relationships involving financial dealings. When money matters enter sincere relationships, that relationship is never the same again—I have seen this happen many times. Most people either cannot or do not want to maintain commitment in financial matters. And if such things happen, it is natural for sincerity to be destroyed.
66. When I need to say 'no' to someone about something, I say 'no' clearly. When I say 'yes', I say that clearly too. Our main problem is that where we need to say 'no', we don't know how to say 'no'. We mumble something that conveys neither 'yes' nor 'no'. If the person I'm speaking to needs to hear 'yes', they will assume 'yes', and if they need 'no', they'll take 'no'. It often happens that what I mean to say, they understand as the opposite. Then misunderstandings arise. What's the point? It's better to clarify one's position from the start.
67. I don't like making excuses to people, and I never make excuses to myself in any situation. Whatever I decide to do, regardless of circumstances, I try to get it done. No matter how many excuses I give people, at the end of the day people remember only one thing—whether I could do the work or not. If I cannot do the work, it's better to simply acknowledge my failure, which actually earns respect. People pay attention to excuses only as long as I'm in front of them; once I'm gone, they remember only my failure. What's the point of blaming them? I probably do the same thing myself.
68. Making someone happy by doing something for them seems impossibly difficult. Therefore, I never do anything for the purpose of making someone happy.
What I personally love, what work brings me joy, what I genuinely want to do from the heart—this I always strive to accomplish properly, with my utmost sincerity. Whatever I can do best within my capabilities, that much I do. I try earnestly to perform each task better than I did the previous time. Intention is a mighty thing—when it remains true, everything else follows naturally.
**69.** Time does not wait for me, yet my work waits for me. Therefore, I personally refrain from engaging in unnecessary idle chatter. I have never wasted time in pointless conversations in this life, and I always try to tactfully avoid those who invite me to such gatherings. Many of them love me, so I don't wish to hurt their feelings; in avoiding them, I'm often compelled to resort to various harmless lies.
**70.** I never participate in criticism under any circumstances—criticism constrains me. I listen quietly to others' discussions without making any particular comments. I know very well that those who have no work of their own to do, or those who lack the ability to do that work, are the ones who criticize it most. What does this mean? Critics are, in most cases, groups of incompetent and idle people. I have no desire to join their ranks and lower myself to their level. Whether people criticize or discuss, at day's end, one must prove one's own worth oneself. Therefore, my work and my time are far more important to me than people's discussions and criticisms.
**71.** I have never changed myself for anyone, and the likelihood of not doing so in the future is high, because I know myself best—I know where I need to change and where I don't. In the end, my abilities and shortcomings, my good and bad, belong with me; I am not prepared to alter anything about myself for others. My own desires matter more to me than others'. Those who keep changing themselves for others and continue to do so can never be happy.
**72.** I even fear being near someone who doesn't respect others, let alone associating with them. Keeping such people close creates the greatest risk of embarrassing situations. There's nothing to learn from them; rather, being with them corrodes one's soul. I respect myself sufficiently, and I believe everyone does the same. Therefore, I never associate with people who disrespect others, no matter how important they might be.
**73.** I refrain from making myself sick while trying to heal others' bodies and minds, because when I stay healthy, I remain well and can keep many people well. To properly organize household and outside work, relationships with family and external people, my own and my loved ones' happiness—keeping myself healthy is essential for all this. If I fall ill, along with me, an entire family will head toward uncertainty. Moreover, I won't be able to do the work that keeps me alive. Therefore, in my desire to stay healthy, I sometimes refrain from helping unnecessary people. Most importantly, experience has taught me that when I spend my time and effort helping unnecessary people, those very people later cause me various kinds of harm.
Bengalis cannot digest unsolicited kindness—it sits like unwanted ghee in their stomachs.

74. When a person has nothing left to teach me, nothing left for me to learn or know, I refrain from wasting my precious time on them. There may indeed be many things more valuable than time, but even to obtain those, one must invest time—so there is no sense in squandering it on trivial pursuits. The first step toward moving forward in life is understanding that not everyone deserves your time. 'I am busy' really means 'I am busy when it comes to you.'

75. Those who consider me weak, helpless, easy prey—I face them with all my capabilities...so intensely that before they dare think of me that way a second time, they will think at least ten times. Never give quarter to those who undervalue the strength within you; show them through your work that you don't even have time to count them. On the other hand, those who trust me, respect me, love me—I face them with all my vulnerabilities. Losing to such people brings great joy. Understanding the situation and proving your worth to unnecessary people at the right moment is wise. For those who love us, even those who love without reason, such proof need not be given.

76. When problems arise, rather than collapsing mentally, what's crucial is to think about the problem—really think—because when most people face difficulties, their minds go blank and cease to function properly. Instead of avoiding the situation or breaking down in tears, we must first consider what the solution might be. The first and most difficult step in freeing ourselves from any problem is taking that initial step toward resolution. We simply cannot begin the work of solving problems; we delay and procrastinate. And after it's resolved, I make considerable effort to understand why the problem occurred, what my own mistakes were. I remain very careful to correct myself over time so that the same error doesn't happen twice. Most problems aren't actually as big as they initially appear. Another mistake we make is rushing to people we don't really need when problems arise. This is nothing but a waste of time and an arrangement for increased anxiety. Almost none of those we think might help us are actually useful.

77. I forgive people very quickly, and even when I have the opportunity, I don't take revenge...truly, I don't. Forgiving others greatly reduces one's own suffering. However, I do consider why they behaved wrongly toward me and why I'm compelled to forgive them. If I feel what they did was right, I correct myself. But if the fault was theirs, I simply leave them as they are and move on. Let them live with their mistaken mindset—in the grand calculation, this itself is a great punishment. However, if someone commits an unforgivable wrong, I don't let them off easily; I see it through to the end before letting go.

78. I have handled all my circumstances alone, am handling them alone. By alone, I mean completely alone.
I have fought battles in life where I stood completely alone, where I had to fight against countless people and found no one beside me to offer even a word of courage. Many people enter life in various ways and leave just as easily—in difficult times, I have never found them with me, never found them by my side. Life has taught me that a person walks alone with only their own shadow for company. This is why I prepare myself for all circumstances around me. The responsibility for my actions is mine, my success and failure... are truly mine alone. When success comes, many can be found to share its benefits and joys, but all the responsibility and suffering of failure belongs to me alone. At the end of the day, every person in this world belongs utterly to themselves. People live for themselves. If, in the process of their living, someone else benefits, if someone else's good comes of it, that is merely coincidental. At most, a person can love another, can stand by them—nothing more than that. One person cannot live another's life, cannot bear another's suffering. When someone says, "I can feel your pain," I think to myself: you don't even know what a mistaken thing you've just said!
79. I do not indulge suspicious people in my life, nor do I myself live with such an attitude. Each person's life belongs to them. To love someone does not mean to possess them. I believe one must love people by allowing them to exist in their own world, by their own rules. I love from a place of complete trust, I love with the vastness of my own heart, and the rest depends on the principles of the person on the other side. If their principles do not forbid them from doing something, then who am I to forbid it? If I forbid it, they will simply do it in secret, but they will do it—that much is certain. To prevent someone from doing what they prefer to do means creating distance in the relationship. I would rather they not hide themselves from me. I want to see them as they truly are. If I cannot accept that, then I myself will step away, and if I can accept it, I will stay. That's all there is to it! If feelings are transparent, they will remain in life; if opaque, they will vanish at any moment. I have no regrets about anything that disappears. What is lost was never truly mine—that's why it was lost. I try to understand why it was lost; in this effort, some experience is gained, some appropriate lesson is learned, which prepares me to take better steps in the future.
80. Those people in my life who have helped me are the blessed company of my life, they are my gods. While living, I have neither the desire, nor the courage, nor the audacity to forget them or to deny their kindness. I love them above all rules, customs, logic, reasons, and truths. Everything about them is right in my eyes. There is nothing I cannot do for them. Above my busyness, my emotions, my understanding, my conscience—above everything—they hold their place, and will continue to do so for life. For someone who holds a place above all truths of the world in my heart, I too can easily dismiss any truth. Even the person who brought just a small change to the course of my life, I remember with deep reverence, with profound gratitude. I believe gratitude is humanity's greatest virtue.
81.
When I realize that someone has broken my trust, deceived me through various schemes, and cunningly used me to achieve some purpose, I immediately try to distance myself from that situation. I withdraw in such a way that they don't become my enemy, and so they remain unaware that I've seen through them. I don't merely suspect such people of being wrong for my life—I know with absolute certainty that for my own well-being, I must stay away from them. Most of those we suspect of being bad are, in truth, genuinely bad—there's little room for doubt.
82. I don't approach people with the false generosity of claiming I can do what I cannot; I prefer to communicate my limitations in due time. Being able to communicate this saves me from countless complications. At the end of the day, people respect most those who simply say "I can't" when they truly cannot do something. In our society, there are few people who can say "I can't"—looking around, it seems everyone can do everything, and I alone am incapable. To free both oneself and others from unnecessary troubles, there's nothing like being able to say "I can't." It's far better to acknowledge one's ignorance than to give someone wrong or speculative information.
83. I love myself, I love people. People cause me pain, I cause myself pain. I cry from suffering, I misunderstand myself, I misunderstand others. Wiping away my tears, once again I love myself, I love people. I work for myself, I work for others. This gives me beautiful feelings, helps me live. When we love, misunderstandings are inevitable—this is natural. What matters is not to abandon everything completely even when we misunderstand; in time, everything gets resolved. Time fixes everything; we must wait patiently for that right moment to arrive.
84. In my journey through life, I try to speak with every person courteously, sincerely, and with a smile. I'm confident in my own authenticity, so I don't need to live with any kind of imposed arrogance. I firmly believe that every person deserves to be valued. It's not right to disrespect anyone even slightly. Every dog has his day. The person I'm undervaluing today—there will come a day when they won't even have time to evaluate me, because they'll be busy with more important work. Those who don't know how to value people face many kinds of suffering in their lives. To associate with them means becoming a participant in that suffering.
85. I must hold this conviction in my heart: I will never create obstacles with excuses on the path to turning my own dreams into reality. Rather, through constant practice and self-improvement, I will elevate myself to the peak of transcendence. Once I take up a task, I give myself no respite until it's completed, no matter how much hardship I endure! I know with certainty that when my dreams are realized, my surroundings will quickly become illuminated. The light around us doesn't come from our surroundings—it comes from within ourselves. Everyone close to me will enjoy its benefits, and seeing me, many others will find inspiration to walk the path of those same dreams. Working for myself, I will be able to work for many others.
86.
If there are 100 people in my life, and even one among them thinks positively, I quickly remove the other 99 from my life. One person with positive thinking matters far more to me than a thousand others. Because I already know that I cannot do it. Now there's no point in hearing this again. Rather, if I could find someone who would tell me—even mistakenly—that I can do it, and if I were to believe this in some moment of confusion and actually start trying to succeed, then at least the possibility of something good happening would remain. I have seen many people turn their lives around on the strength of just this much possibility.
87. I never think about whether someone has done something for me or not. I always try very hard to think about whether I can do something for someone and how that might be possible. Not everyone has the good fortune of being able to do something for others. Many lack the means, many lack the time, and many, of course, lack the desire. Who did what, who didn't—that's their business. Let everyone be well in their own way. I enjoy working for others; I will do the work if only to keep myself happy. I try sincerely until the end, in whatever way allows me to complete the task. I work to keep myself joyful, not in hope of anyone's recognition.
88. I very much prefer spending time alone with myself; this time gives me the opportunity to think new thoughts. Those who never get time to be alone with themselves cannot possibly be creative. There is no substitute for this when it comes to repairing one's broken heart and contemplating one's various aspects. One cannot wander through the alleys of one's own heart while surrounded by crowds. I enjoy my solitude, savoring my disappointments and failures in the dream and joy of creating something new.
89. Any work that I don't feel like doing, I never force myself to do. Work that attracts my mind—I try to give that priority, and here I find a kind of peace. Yes, there is one job I do whether I want to or not, because not doing it would close off many opportunities to do my other work—and that job is employment. I believe that work is neither something to like nor something to dislike; work is simply something to do.
90. I am never afraid to take responsibility. If I make a mistake, I take responsibility and say, "Yes, the mistake is mine." If there is work I must do that is mine to do, I can take complete responsibility for that work—I have that capacity and confidence. I don't believe that I cannot do the work I've been given the opportunity to do. I believe that work which would be impossible for me to do—somehow I would never get the opportunity to do such work in the first place. I have always seen that whatever I have tried for sincerely, given time to, labored over—in that I have succeeded. I give everything I have until I see the work through to completion; I don't give up before I've actually lost.
91. During travel, whatever vehicle I'm in, I try to talk with the drivers, like rickshaw-pullers.
I try to understand how they live their lives. When I encounter working people along the way—laborers, street children, vendors—whenever and wherever I meet them, I try to learn about them. What I cannot learn from reading the biography of a wealthy, successful person, I gain far more from conversing with them.
92. I am deeply flawed as a human being. Many of the dark sides that exist in ten other people exist within me as well. I am not the best at anything in any field—average, you could say. In very few areas could I be called outstanding. So I try to refrain as much as possible from finding fault with others and blaming them. I try to maintain mutual relationships; this gives me considerable time, environment, and opportunity to improve myself. Looking at those who go about finding fault in others, I can see that they are actually seeing themselves through others' eyes and mistaking their own shortcomings for those of others.
93. I have one good quality: in most cases, I can control my anger. When someone angers me or hurts me, I try to forgive them. To control feelings of anger, I quickly face any mirror (or turn on my phone camera in selfie mode), and since I don't want to see myself looking terrible and ugly, I'm able to restrain myself quickly. If that doesn't work, or if there's no mirror around, I look at the wall in front of me or down at the ground and remain completely silent, not saying a single word to anyone. I move away from the person I'm angry with and go somewhere else. I don't respond to anyone's words. These things often work. Afterward, I investigate the cause of my anger and try to understand why this situation arose.
94. When something very bad happens to me, I repeatedly try to convince myself that something good must surely be waiting for me in the future. This keeps my mind quite peaceful. What I couldn't achieve despite trying in my life, I've assumed was not written in my destiny. There's a wonderfully beautiful saying in Hindi: "Waqt se pehle aur kismat se zyada kuch nahin milta." The meaning is: before the right time comes and beyond what is written in fate, nothing more can be obtained in life. This is truly so. Many try but cannot accomplish certain things, perhaps because it's not in their fate, or something better awaits them for which they must wait until a specific time. We don't get what we want. We get what we need. What we need and what we don't need is almost always impossible for us to understand. Therefore, it's better to accept what is happening and what is not happening.
95. Many times, when I'm forced to do something against my will, I feel tremendous anger at myself. But there's no outward expression of that anger anywhere present—I take time for myself and try to understand why I was compelled. From then on, I try to avoid whatever caused me to be compelled. In this, I catch a wonderful fragrance of freedom from subjugating myself to people's will against my own wishes, causing myself suffering—there is no happiness in this world equal to being able to be free.
96.
When I am deceived, when I am cheated, I feel utterly foolish, cannot accept it, and only tears come. I feel so helpless before myself, humiliated, forced to endure with patience. Slowly, time heals all wounds. Then at some point I learn something new, understand people in a new way. Then I think, sometimes being deceived is very necessary—to know oneself, to come alive anew, to turn around and stand up again.
97. Life's most important lesson is learning to love yourself. One who does not love themselves cannot love anyone else. Since I learned to love myself, all other people have lost the power to overwhelm me with suffering. And the person who has once understood the joy of being free—only they know how wonderfully life can be enjoyed. Nothing can be more beautiful than living freely according to one's own will. It is never possible to chain someone and extract love from them. Against the taste of freedom, the desire for love grows terribly pale.
98. How a woman should conduct herself, what she should wear, whom she should spend time with, whom she should sleep with—who are you to decide these things? Does she eat your food or wear your clothes? Or do you stand by her side in times of trouble? What you yourself do, what you wear, where you will go, whom you will sleep with—does someone else decide these things for you? How would you feel if chains were put on your movements and thoughts in such a way? Every human being in this world has the right to live freely according to their own rules and conditions without harming anyone—neither you nor I have any right to interfere with that freedom. If you are a civilized person, then never cross your boundaries.
99. To live, we don't need everyone. Almost all of those we know are unnecessary people in our lives. Most of those we consider necessary in our lives around us are of no use to us whatsoever. Those we see and consider powerful—hardly any of them will use that power to help you in times of trouble. What is the real difference between someone whose power cannot rescue people from danger and a disabled person?
100. The greatest source of strength in my life is my parents' blessings. As a result of their virtuous deeds, I have achieved much good fortune in this life. I have received far more through the power of these two people's prayers than what I have earned through my own merit. Having them in my life and being able to love them is a matter of great fortune. Having parents as a protective shadow over one's head—there is no greater feeling of peace than this in the world.