Fearless One, though I am your son, yet I dwell night and day in terror—you see it. I cannot shake free of this fear, and it tells me I have not yet truly known you as my mother. A son who sits in his mother's loving gaze, in her lap, cradled in her arms, never knows fear. And yet I tell myself again and again: "This is your unwavering sight upon me, here I rest in your lap, here I am held in your deep embrace, an embrace that never loosens."
For a moment this feeling does come to me, and when it comes, I am without fear. But the instant I lose this sacred knowing, I fall back into terror. You have witnessed my fear. I am always afraid—always fearful that through some carelessness, some violation of health's laws, I am bringing death upon myself. Death stands so near in your order; no amount of caution can ward it off. I fear that some transgression of mine will bring sickness or death. Yet I have no desire to commit such wrongs; I am careful enough in keeping your laws. Still, why do I torment my mind with countless small anxieties, troubled and restless?
I am always afraid that somehow I wrong another, that I carry some sin with me when I leave this mortal world. I have no wish to commit any injustice, not the slightest impulse to gain my own profit at the cost of another's. Again and again I open my heart to you, and I find there no will contrary to yours. Then why does this endless terror persist—this certainty that I am guilty? This fear holds me back from your deep contemplation, from that bond of love that should fill my whole being with you.
Even about the rightness or wrongness of my deeds... yes, I see my mistake—this fear too troubles my mind. I brood endlessly over the simplest matters until I am worn and exhausted. I cannot drive away these fears no matter how I struggle. I understand now: I am loveless, a mere slave to rules and prohibitions. No effort of mine, however proud or determined, can free me from this sickness.
Fearless One, show me clearly your form as the Fearless, your unwavering gaze, your love-filled gentle smile. Let your touch of love become vivid to me, become lasting. Let your embrace be the most real of all truths to me. In the lap of the Fearless there is no possibility of fear—this I know for certain! I do not wish to leave that lap; I long to sit in it day and night. The very thought that I may rest there always, always, and instantly all my fear, all my sorrow, vanishes away.
Let this harsh struggle of life fall away. Grant me an unchanging place in your peaceful lap. There, let me receive whatever thoughts you give, whatever work you assign—I shall embrace them all with a willing heart. In that thought, in that love, there is no fear. By the light of your gaze, by the gesture of your hand, whatever I do shall overflow with boundless peace, with boundless joy; and I shall never wish for that thought, that work to end. Your shelter of fearlessness—I seek it now as the treasury of all treasures. No want shall linger in me; my heart's vessel shall be made full.