Learning to Say 'No'

Never shoulder a responsibility you cannot fulfill.
Never give your word when you cannot keep it.
Never clasp a hand in promise when you cannot hold it true.
Never say "I love you" to someone you do not love.
Never borrow money you cannot repay.

Commitment is a profound thing. Anyone with even a shred of self-respect never breaks a commitment. What may be just a word or phrase to you could well be someone's entire life! Not everyone can practice deception, fraud, or pettiness—so not everyone can detect it either. Those whose hearts and minds lack such qualities are unaccustomed to them. Because they're unaccustomed, your shameless behavior at that level brings misery into their lives.

Why, you ask? The person who places trust in you today and comes to a decision based on that trust truly cannot understand, cannot even imagine, that you are such a worthless individual. If you are worthless, then please—associate only with the worthless. Live worthlessly, die worthlessly. You deserve nothing more than that. You may have houses, cars, influence, intelligence—all of it—yet in that person's eyes you remain contemptible, vile, like a sewer worm, while they suffer needlessly because of you. Though you may walk with your head held high before the entire world, you must flee like a thief from that one person's sight. Do you know who lives like this? Who else! Thieves live like this! What's the point of living as such a sniveling thief? Perhaps in your judgment there is a point! If so, then live that way only among thieves.

The mental difference between someone who breaks promises and a murderer is slight. Conventional law punishes the killing of bodies but has no punishment for killing souls. That's the only difference. What good does conquering the whole world do if you remain forever defeated in someone's eyes? What meaning is there in a life lived like a thief before another's gaze? How good a person you are depends on how well you can keep your promises. As long as a good person has their last resource with them, they will never break their word. Being good is far more important than being successful.

Do you understand nature's justice? You don't? Wait—you'll understand from your own life. Or do you understand but simply ignore it? Fine! Speaking from my own experience, stay patient—nature compels every person to receive the fruits of their actions. Yes, it does! The punishment for unjustly endangering another person's life will come to you while you still live. Nature's accounting never errs. Wait and see!

Though many of us ridiculously judge character solely by reproductive fidelity, much more is involved. Someone whose words and actions don't align—all their piety, success, achievements, skills, knowledge, status, monogamy, and more combined cannot earn them a certificate of good character. No one is more characterless than someone who breaks promises. I see many characterless people making grand pronouncements about character in various places. I truly pity them. Watching them, I marvel in amazement: one can live being this shameless!

Learn to say "no" to someone's face. Don't say "yes" everywhere without understanding. Saying "I love you" without truly loving isn't love—it's debauchery. Touching bodies under the false pretext of touching hearts without actually touching hearts is begging. What a wretched life such worthless people lead! Living in mansions yet begging their whole lives! Living like kings in the world's eyes yet fleeing like petty thieves from one person's sight! Disgusting!

The person who can say "no" directly to someone's face; who never makes promises they cannot keep, no matter what problems arise; who can tell someone they don't love, straight out without pretense, "I don't love you," even knowing it will cause pain; who doesn't borrow money promising to repay by a time they cannot meet—such a person is a true human being. The rest are living devils in human masks, walking monsters.

A hundred worthless BMW-driving people combined couldn't match the dignity of even a torn sandal strap belonging to an elderly rickshaw-puller whose words and actions perfectly align. Taking human form doesn't make someone human. People become inhuman in others' eyes because of their actions. Seeing such monsters make grand speeches makes me want to rip their tongues out! They don't even deserve a street dog's kick!

No matter how difficult, learn to say "no" clearly. Not everyone can say "no"—it requires both strength of mind and honesty. The weak and corrupt are the ones who keep saying "yes" everywhere to please everyone. Be very careful of people who try to keep everyone happy. Though saying "no" may subject you to temporary criticism, you can be certain you'll receive the final salute. If you can't, say "I can't." If you don't understand, say "I don't understand." If you don't know, say "I don't know." If you won't do something, say "I won't do it." Simple accounting! This isn't rocket science that should be hard to understand!

"No" is not merely a word; "no" is the expression of good character, the strength to keep promises, the measure of self-respect, respect shown toward people's trust and love, a symbol of infinite reliability, a primary condition for living with one's head held high. Uttering this single-syllable word responsibly requires the strength of an entire world—which not everyone possesses. Far more important than pleasing someone is living honored in their eyes until death.