Learning to Live, Teaching to Live

25/10/2014. 2:15 PM. Seeing the massive line in front of the elevator, I climbed the stairs to the third floor of Rafin Plaza. I found people lined up on the stairs too.
: Boss, you can't go up. Get in line.
: Let me through.
: No, we've been standing here since 1:00. You can't break the line.
: Why are you all standing here?
: We're here for a BCS seminar. There's no space left on the 8th floor. We'll attend the 5:00 session. You get in line too.
: Brother, I'm not here for the seminar. I'm here for other work. Let me through.
After that, they let me pass. Pushing through the enormous crowd, I struggled to reach the 8th floor. There were countless people everywhere. In the jostling, the buttons of my casual shirt came undone. Embarrassed, I hastily refastened them. There wasn't even standing room in the hall. Many were packed together, standing. The crowd spilled outside the room's door. Some stood on the windowsills near the entrance. I was truly stunned by this madness of BCS candidates! Never in my life had I imagined that so many people would hold the job I do in such high regard! The seminar began at 2:30. I was genuinely bewildered! At least 900 people were looking at me! I finished the first session at 5:15. Toward the end, it nearly turned into a brawl! Those who had been standing outside for hours were chanting heated slogans. Despite many pleas, they wouldn't calm down. At one point, I lost my temper and shouted. Later, when I learned that people had been standing in line from the 8th floor down to the 1st floor for hours, I felt terrible. I apologized to everyone afterward. The next session started at 5:40. There were about 600 candidates there. These nearly 1,500 candidates had wanted to attend the free seminar organized by Dhaka University Career Club on 24/10/2014 at the Conference Hall of the Faculty of Business Studies, Dhaka University, but couldn't due to limited seating (200).
The seminars at Dhaka University's FBS and Rafin Plaza were far more motivational than they were about BCS. Let me share some feedback.
# Sir, today I found answers to so many questions in my life. I could never ask anyone these questions before. How did you know them? I will pray after my prayers for Allah to keep you happy until your last day.
# Eighty percent of your life story matches with my own life. I could never express these things the way you did. Until today, I had decided I would go abroad. But now I'm thinking I won't go. I can do something good right here in my country.
# I feel wonderful about participating in your seminar today, brother. I don't know if I'll ever become a cadre, because as you said, Allah has already determined our sustenance. But whatever I do, some of your words will stay with me for life. I hope that if I ever become a cadre or get some other good job, I'll meet you in person, embrace you, and feed you sweets with my own hands. Please pray for this younger brother.
# I never had the chance to speak with you personally, but I applied to the FBS seminar just because you were coming. Alhamdulillah, by Allah's grace, I got the call. Without thinking twice, I left at 9 PM the night before last and reached Khulna at 8:30 last night.

After a twenty-three-and-a-half-hour journey, I set off again for Dhaka, reached by bus at dawn at 4 AM, stood waiting at Gulistan until 6 in the morning, and finally waited in front of Dhaka University's Business Faculty from 6:45 to 8:20. None of it felt burdensome—all for your session from 10:15 to 12:30. Thank you so much, brother. Thank you immensely. I am deeply grateful to you. May Allah bless you. And please keep us in your prayers.
# I don't know whether you'll believe what I'm writing. I was among the fortunate 200 at the seminar held at Dhaka University on October 24th. That day, instead of attending my best friend's wedding, I went to Dhaka just to hear you speak and to see you once. My home is in Narsingdi. I woke at 4 AM, left in the darkness at 4:30 for the morning train. When the 5 o'clock Chittagong Mail arrived at 6:15, I boarded to find no seats available, so I stood by the train door all the way to Dhaka. Fortunately, I made it to your seminar on time. Brother, believe me, I thought I'd leave the seminar right at 12, return to Narsingdi in 2-3 hours, and at least attend my friend's wedding. But after Ridwan brother's extraordinary session, when your session began, I simply listened as if spellbound. I didn't even realize when 1 o'clock struck. Brother, after the seminar ended that day, I practically ran toward home, but due to the sluggishness of the BRTC bus, it was 5:30 by the time I returned and... anyway, brother, he's my friend after all. I had left without telling him out of fear, but when I returned and told him everything, a smiling face solved everything. I don't have words to express how unknowingly grateful I became to you. Those of us who, after hearing you speak, became eager to walk new paths, who began dreaming again—whether we succeed or not, we can say this with certainty: we will stand by you in whatever you do.
# In my 23 years of life, today I saw someone whose every word kindles hope, who can awaken people not with fantastical tales but with words from his own life that somehow never feel like someone else's experiences. I am deeply grateful to Allah for today, because He alone gave me the grace to go there. I don't know how much I'll be able to apply, but your words will remain with me. And what I liked most about you was that you believe all your achievements are Allah's blessed gifts. Only Allah knows what the best gift for us is. Our sustenance is predetermined by Allah. Sometimes Allah answers prayers by not answering them. You expressed gratitude for everything. Even many Muslims don't speak with such faith. I pray from my heart that Allah keeps you well, keeps you on the straight path. Ameen.
# The enchantment of your mesmerizing inspiration will remain eternally awakened for an entire generation of us—this much is certain. From a distance, one can never truly know you completely. Such fluid presentation, such expression of genuine emotion free from artifice is rare. And that's why, returning home with such vibrant inspiration, I felt immensely fortunate with a grateful heart. No one had ever given me the true meaning of life, the mantra for enjoying life, in quite this way.
The inspiration to savor life at every moment, the frank and ultimate truth that simply being alive amounts to so much—how can such candor fail to uplift? Who better than a young man who has triumphed over life's cruelest trials to understand life's deepest truths? The stories of this deeply emotional man's life truly seem incredible when you hear them. Thursday's day-long labor, chasing smugglers in cars, and then—before the day's exhaustion could even fade—setting off again from Chittagong toward Dhaka, all of this makes you extraordinary. Ridwan Bhai, who topped the foreign cadre, called you "Sir." You are indeed everyone's revered Sir. Just the day before, after working so hard on duty, your only goal was to prepare those slides and gift us a beautiful seminar. All the questions in the students' minds found answers in your vibrant presentation. For gifting us such a memorable seminar, I salute you from the depths of my heart, Sir.....
# My younger sister is a first-year undergraduate student at a public university in Dhaka. On the night of October 24, 2014, she told me about your seminar. (She's probably a follower on your FB.) I told her I couldn't attend due to office commitments. But she attended your seminar at noon to learn your words "for me," without telling me. I too, without telling her, left all my office work and departed from Mirpur-14 at 12:00 PM. I reached Asad Gate at 1:40 PM. But there were only 20 minutes left, and on top of that, I sat in traffic for another 5 minutes. Later, I got out of the car and practically ran, reaching Rafin Plaza at exactly 2:05. Then I pushed through crowds for another 15 minutes and somehow made it to a table near the southwest corner, where I saw my little sister was present!! All hunger and fatigue vanished, and then you arrived... I couldn't understand how 5:30 PM came so quickly. How did you tell a nobody's story so fluently?? Why do stories end so fast... no, the authorities didn't give me a chance to stay for a second seminar. Anyway, I returned home with a sense of fulfillment. Gratitude remains to Sushanta Paul dada for such a wonderful program. 
[P.S.: My little sister decided to take the 'BCS exam' that very day!!!]
(This person (presumably) joined the police cadre in the 33rd BCS.)
# Listening to your words ignites a tremendous desire within me, a desire to move forward. I don't want to think of myself as insignificant. I don't want to regret any misfortune. Even all of life's failures feel like my own. I keep thinking, I can do it too, I can do it too. I feel ashamed to be defeated by life. While listening to your words, I kept saying in my heart, Allah, you have kept me alive. How fortunate I am. Thank you. I pray that you continue spreading light this way. May Allah grant you a long life.
So many more words like these, most of which I truly don't deserve.
Now let me share some amusing conversations.
One.
: Girlfriend, check if my lipstick is properly applied on my lips, or if it's smeared?
: It's fine. But why are you wearing such a bright-colored lipstick for an evening program?
: Oh silly! I matched my lipstick with my hijab color. Why, doesn't it look nice?
: It looks nice, but also a bit garish.
: Good! You've applied kohl like a witch yourself! Hey! Will you help me even out my lipstick with a tissue?
I caught a glimpse in the phone's front camera—seemed to be sticking out a bit downward.
Two.

: (Mentioning some BCS cadre by name) Brother, have you seen how handsome he is? Ah! What a figure! What height! Just looking at him makes me want to get married!

: Listen, behave yourself! If your nonsense reaches his girlfriend's ears, she'll eat you alive!

: Heh! He's having troubles with his girlfriend—I've been keeping tabs.

: What's there to be so happy about? They haven't broken up yet!

: That's true, but it won't be much longer. The way problems have started between them, God willing, they'll break up very soon! Hehehe...

: You have such bad taste! You only like secondhand things.

: Don't you remember your own boyfriend had flings with three others before coming to you?
Three.

: Friend, brother speaks so beautifully—just listening makes me feel all emotional!

: Don't get so emotional, there's no point!

: Why? Am I wrong? Allah sent him as a complete package! Have you seen his face and height?

: You probably didn't notice—he's traveling with a herd of cows!

: Oh, you fool! So what? Am I marrying him or what?

: Then why are you getting so worked up?

: Oh my! I'm going to flirt with him. Do you have a problem with that?

: No, no, no problem at all. Go ahead, do as much as you want!

: Why? Are you getting jealous?
Four.

: Sir looks so good, doesn't he? He greets so beautifully and properly, even takes breaks for prayer time. See how deeply he thinks about Islam already? I'm amazed!

: Yes, he respects other religions a lot—I really like that about him too. Sir has only one flaw—he's Hindu.
Five.

: Looking at brother, you wouldn't think he doesn't even know how to flip a fried fish while eating? Actually, the guy's a devil. He flirts with one of my friends. And he only accepts friend requests from beautiful girls. Total scoundrel!

: What's your problem exactly? That he doesn't flirt with you—is that the problem? Or that he's left your friend request hanging—is that it? Besides, you're ugly! Why did you send him a request? Look, he accepted mine!
Six.

: Don't worry, guys. Brother is very close to me! I'll arrange for you all to get into the five o'clock batch for sure.

: Showing off, are you? You couldn't even get into the earlier batch yourself.

: Hey, you guys don't understand! I deliberately didn't join. When you said you were coming, I thought I'd join together with everyone.

: Yeah, right! Acting all important! You couldn't even get into brother's class, and now you say he's close to you!

: What did you say? Want to see? Want to see? Should I call brother? If I call now, he'll answer immediately! But he's busy, so I won't disturb him.

: Get lost, you son of a braggart! Beat it! Keep your tall tales for later—they might come in handy!

: You guys don't understand, don't understand! You don't know Ratan. You'll see, you'll see—one day you'll have to make an appointment to meet me!
(I heard these conversations from my younger brother. None of them recognized him, and he played dumb and listened to everything! He's a master at mimicry! He came home and was doing impressions while I laughed myself silly! I keep thinking—why are we Bengalis so incredibly cute? Pure entertainment!)
From my deepest despair and exhaustion with life, I had once decided to commit suicide. After much suffering and tears, I had tried several times. I couldn't do it for two reasons. One: I felt strangely afraid.
It felt like—what happens when you die, what would happen...all that. I mean, I lacked courage. Second, I was thinking, my life is my mother's gift to me. If I died, my mother would cry and cry. Just imagining her suffering brought tears to my eyes. (Now I think, what childish thoughts! Why even think about what happens after death! If you die, you're gone, everything's over! Perhaps I couldn't be quite that selfish in the end.)........Later I thought, let me live a little longer and see what happens!
Indeed, just staying alive brings so much. God never keeps anyone dishonored for their entire life.
About thirty percent of what I said in the three seminars last Friday and Saturday is given in the first link. You can take this as BCS preparation strategy or inspiration for moving forward. In the second two links I've provided a handout. Take this purely as an inspirational story. (These two pieces were written on my ruined Facebook ID.)
There will be such a gathering with friends in Chattogram on Saturday, November 1st, 2014 at 3:00 PM in Muslim Hall.
I promised you all, I'll hold such a seminar in Chittagong. I keep my word. All of you please come. Hahahaha............
Postscript. What I learned from the Rafin Plaza seminar: It's not true that only buildings made by famous developer companies are strong. Rafin Plaza is quite sturdy! Otherwise, under the pressure of such a sea of people, that building wouldn't have survived!