Today I am truly...disgusted! Bloodied! Scarred! Exhausted and shattered! Watching you constantly ensnare me in that terrible trap called 'love,' I am rendered speechless, stunned! Watching you crush my hands and feet, crippling me, then constantly subjugate me through the deception of that emotion called 'you,' I am utterly bewildered from beginning to end! Watching you constantly perform this charade of love with me, with ever-growing skill, I am beyond words! Knowingly playing the fool, constantly trapped in your web of lies, watching myself caught there—today I am truly senseless! Your staged, emotional tears and accusations that I must constantly adapt to—my breath is grotesquely choked! Understanding everything, yet becoming so merciless toward myself, constantly being used for your self-absorbed pursuits, letting myself be sacrificed in this unbearable love that has taken hold—I am now half-dead!
Journal of Weariness
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