In This One Life

In one lifetime, I fell in love with so many men, yet could never bring myself to speak it aloud.
In one lifetime, I lusted after so many men, yet fear of losing my virtue kept me from ever making a move.
In one lifetime, I had crushes on so many men, yet never once admitted it.
In one lifetime, so many men wanted to touch my body, yet I never saved a single screenshot of their messages.
In this one lifetime, just how many men have I touched intimately—I could never say it with such frankness.
In one lifetime, I've wanted to bind so many men in subjugation, I couldn't even begin to count.
In this one lifetime, I've wanted to bind myself in subjugation to so many men—I could never reveal that number.
In one lifetime, I've neglected so many men, perhaps they'll never forgive me.
In this one life, I've been neglected by so many men—I'll never find the courage to confess this to anyone.

And yet in this same lifetime, there is one man whose heart I've tried to touch, and while I still draw breath, I'll never be able to tell him this.