186.
'I'—this very sense of I—is the remembrance of God, the practice, and the path of transcendence. Wherever you go, never forget this: the knowing that 'I am' within you, that is God. You have spent time with the guru, heard his teachings, tried to hold them in your heart—but the guru will not remain with your body forever. One day you must depart. And at that moment of parting, should you ask—what cardinal teaching shall I take with me for life?—he will say only this: "Your sense of 'I am' is God. Remember it. Hold it fast."
This faith begins weak, but through meditation and steady practice, day by day it deepens—"Yes, this sense of 'I am' within me is the very form of God." And when you become utterly immersed in this knowing, then before you opens that path where, transcending even the 'I', you arrive at the eternal, the formless, the unconditioned—the supreme Reality itself.
In Advaita Vedanta, the guru does not merely impart knowledge—he creates the occasion for self-recognition. That experience of 'I am', which moves within us every day—in it lies hidden the essence of divinity, the primal manifestation of consciousness. Though this knowing may seem ordinary at first, through meditation and constant remembrance and practice, it transforms into an unwavering self-certainty: "This very 'I' is my God. I am established in this 'I'."
This faith is the foundation upon which the practitioner one day transcends even the limits of his own 'I'. Then he becomes more than 'I'—he becomes the Transcendent—neither consciousness nor experience, but pure Brahman itself.
The guru says—go where you must, but remember this: the sense of 'I am' within you is God. Through meditation, remembrance, and practice, strengthen this faith. Gradually that faith will deepen so entirely that you will perceive—the very source of this consciousness within you is the supreme truth. From that deep repose will come, one day, the capacity to transcend even this 'I' and abide in consciousness without consciousness—which is wordless, stateless, free.
187.
Remain unmoved in 'I'—before self-revelation comes the trial. Do not be anxious about anything; whatever happens, stay rooted in the sense of 'I am'. There will come a moment when this very 'I' becomes satisfied, and reveals to you all mysteries. Yet before that will come doubt, despondency, and despair.
The tumult of the world will obstruct your practice, creating within your consciousness a sense of defeat. Yet still, setting everything aside, abandoning all worry and concern, you must remain fixed in 'I' alone—continuously, with sincerity and patience. This 'I' itself will test you, will measure your endurance. But if you can remain unmoved, this very 'I' will become your friend. Then it will cast off its own veils and restore to you the key to liberation and your true nature.
In Advaita Vedanta, the sense of 'I' is called the primary stage of self-remembrance, where consciousness experiences itself—yet still remains clouded by the body, identity, and the influence of the world. When meditation begins at this level, the mind resists—then comes conflict, doubt, and turbulent times. But the guru instructs: in this very hour, steadiness and relentless practice are most crucial.
The sense of 'I' is itself like a living presence that tests the practitioner, that examines the stillness and sincerity within him. And when that 'I' is satisfied, then it steps aside of itself and reveals: "You are not even I—you are the witness of that, Brahman supreme."
On the path of meditation will come exhaustion, doubt, and the shadow of failure—yet do not stop. Set everything else aside and do this one thing: remain unmoved in the sense of 'I am'. This 'I' itself will be your companion, and in time will loosen its own chains and open for you the gate of self-revelation.
Then there will be no more ‘I’—only you yourself—as supreme consciousness.
188.
The dual nature of ‘I’—the trap of birth and death, and the path to liberation. The very cycle of birth and death that keeps ensnaring you again and again—at its root lies this sense of ‘I am.’ The nature of this ‘I’ is exactly like Janus—it reveals itself in two faces. On one side, it is your enemy, when it casts you into the trap of birth and death. You begin to think—”I am this body,” “I was born,” “I will die”—this very conviction creates false identity and the chains of suffering.
And once you fall into this trap, escape is not easy—unless there comes the vision of a true guru, or his words penetrate your heart—then the opportunity for liberation arrives. The guru’s teaching is simple, yet all-encompassing: understand the ‘I,’ dwell in it, realize it, and one day transcend it. Through this practice, when you learn to abide in the ‘I,’ it ceases to be an enemy—it becomes a friend, who itself carries you beyond its own limits.
In Advaita Vedanta, the sense of ‘I’ is called the first emergence, within which the world of consciousness begins. But when this ‘I’ becomes mingled with body, name, identity—then is born temporary self-identity, which brings forth birth, death, rebirth—this cycle of the world.
The ‘I’ then becomes a web of illusion—it makes you conscious, then binds you within itself. In this state, to recognize the ‘I,’ to dwell in it, to realize it, and finally to transcend it—this is the very essence of the spiritual path.
When you dwell in the ‘I’ without reservation—then this deluding ‘I’ itself gradually becomes a trusted friend. Then it itself slowly reveals its true nature—dissolving itself into supreme consciousness.
The trap of birth and death has been fashioned from the sense of ‘I.’ This ‘I’ first acts like an enemy—it makes you a person, binds you to the body. The guru’s teaching is this—understand the ‘I,’ abide in it, realize it, then transcend it. Then the ‘I’ is no longer an enemy—it transforms into a bridge to liberation. This continuous abidance and inquiry itself carries you beyond the ‘I’—toward supreme existence, toward Parabrahman.
189.
The wordless ‘I’ and that which lies beyond it, you—supreme Brahman. Establish yourself in the sense ‘I am’—but at that wordless level, which is called ‘Paravani.’ Yet remember—this ‘I,’ this wordless consciousness-sense, is not you. You are beyond even this—you are the supreme.
The ancient seers divided speech or utterance into four levels—1. Vaikhari (Vaikhari)—articulated sound, what is spoken from the mouth and can be heard. 2. Madhyama (Madhyama)—mental speech or thought, clear language formed in the mind. 3. Pashyanti (Pashyanti)—the subtle plane of feeling, where speech has not yet taken form. 4. Para (Para)—wordless, the original source, from which all speech is born—this is Paravani, the silent nucleus of self-knowledge.
When we speak, we flow rapidly through these four levels—Para → Pashyanti → Madhyama → Vaikhari. Though speech is one, this classification exists for the sake of understanding. All four levels are connected with the mental and verbal world—and with them, states of consciousness are also connected—Para = Turiya, Pashyanti = deep sleep, Madhyama = dream, Vaikhari = waking.
Now, when you gradually withdraw from speech—spoken word → thought → feeling → wordless presence—you return to the ‘I,’ which is the Paravani level, which is equivalent to Turiya consciousness.
But…you, who are observing all this—you are not Vaikhari, nor Madhyama, nor Pashyanti, nor Para—you are not the ‘I’ either. You are that supreme Brahman, within which these four levels of speech arise and dissolve.
In Advaita Vedanta, the sense of ‘I’ is placed at the center of meditation and self-remembrance, yet it is said—this is not the ultimate truth, but merely the door to confronting truth.
# The Four Levels of the Word-World (Vāṇī-Catuṣṭaya)
The four strata of the word-world reveal a profound map of consciousness—a passage from the subtle to the gross dimensions of our awareness. Along this path, the seeker gradually returns from external sound to the wordless inner ‘I’—to the witnessing presence within.
This soundless ‘I’ is the *parā-vāṇī*, the expression of turīya consciousness. Yet ultimate realization dawns only when the seeker perceives: this ‘I’ too is merely an experience, a whisper of consciousness—I am not this. I am that witnessing presence, within which this awareness, this meditation, this word and wordlessness, all arise and dissolve. That witness alone is the Supreme Self, Brahman.
The ultimate stratum of word is *parā*—the wordless awareness of ‘I’. This is the center of meditation, the gateway of self-remembrance. Yet you, in the ultimate sense, are not even this ‘I’. You are not *vaikharī* (uttered speech), nor *madhyamā* (thought), nor *paśyantī* (subtle intuition), nor *parā* (wordless presence). You transcend even consciousness itself—that primordial reality, that supreme nature—within which all words come and go, yet which never enters any expression of its own.
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**190.**
The reality that precedes the ‘I’ is no garment of the Absolute. Your true essence—what is called the Supreme Self, Brahman—stands even before the ‘I’, prior to it. How then could it wear any garment or outer identity?
What we have done is this: we have draped a costume upon this authentic, silent, formless reality—the body, the senses, the mind, and layers of thought and meditation. And within all these coverings, the most fundamental, the most subtle, is this primary consciousness: ‘I am.’ This ‘I’ too has no name or form, yet it is the first sensation that has suddenly arisen within you—upon your true nature.
Yet remember—this ‘I’ is only an idea, not your ultimate identity. You are that existence upon which this ‘I’ has appeared—that which never is born, never changes, never dies. Thus, when you recognize that this ‘I’ too is a garment, the question emerges: can any garment ever be true of your real nature?
The answer is no. The Absolute wears no garment, for it has no form. In Advaita Vedānta, the Self, the true reality, is imperishable, formless, beyond all distinction. It cannot be bound to any name, form, sensation, or even to ‘I.’ Yet with the arising of life, consciousness awakens to ‘I am’—the first wave of the Self’s manifestation.
We overlay this ‘I’ with body, mind, senses, and identity—and thus is created the Self’s “garment,” its veil. But who witnesses all of this? Upon whom does this awareness arise? *That* is your true self. That is Brahman—without boundary, infinite in itself, existence itself, consciousness, bliss. That nature cannot be clothed in any concept or covering, for it precedes all concepts.
What you truly are lies even before the awareness of ‘I.’ The ‘I’ is consciousness’s first sensation—yet even this is merely an idea that has emerged upon the eternal ‘you.’ Body, mind, thought, identity—all are garments that have veiled your true, formless nature. But the Supreme reality wears no garment—it cannot be grasped, only realized—in the silence of self-knowledge.