In the nest of a broken heart

Will you dwell in this broken heart, Neer?
What has kept you alive
won't let that sickness bring me back to you.

After so many days, today you called me "Neer"!
Do you know? On this thorn-strewn path,
your tenderness makes me weep terribly.
Why do you do this?
I burn in inner fire,
and you—you reach out to touch me?
Why don't you turn away?
Could it be that once... you too loved me?

I drown my body, cannot breathe—
it doesn't feel right, Neer.
Just sensing your touch makes my chest tremble,
everything inside turns chaotic.
When will you come?
I will hold you close in silence.

You asked, "Do you want to come so near?"
Then come, merge with the last drop of my blood.

Ah! Peace...
Can you tell how close I am to you?
Close your eyes—in your breath
mingles a restlessness,
across your familiar body
that intoxicating fragrance drives me mad.
How can I explain?
Let only my sighs linger across your body...
Come closer still!
In your embrace, let all my trembling cease.

– "Be calm," you say,
"I am here, very close to you."

Ah! Such tenderness!
Am I worthy of this?
God didn't give me strength to bear your fierce touch—
the pain grows terrible, don't do that.

– "You don't need worthiness to receive love," you say,
"just a little attraction.
To touch a body needs not love or affection,
only overwhelming desire."

But I have none of these...
Must I then leave?

– "Go if you must,
I don't hold anyone back.
But you are a wonder—
you came like light to my sightless eyes,
wounded me again and again.
I love brave souls."

Do you love me?
Never mind, don't say it.
The moment you say "I love you"
guilt haunts me relentlessly.

– "Foolish girl!"
Even when I'm gone,
keep me in your breath—
in your chest's pores,
let my existence stay awake.
Don't fear, I won't cause pain anymore.

Tithi,
do you know,
when I feel the intensity of your love,
I can no longer contain myself—
I shelter you each day.

Your name—Tithi—
like blue-colored sorrow.
Like you.
Suddenly calling "Tithi"
I wanted to startle you—
if only I could have given you that moment!

Why are you so cruel?

– "Why didn't you say this before?"
Today, standing before my lifeless body, you can speak?
How many times I used to say—
I want to hear what's in your heart... remember?

People are like that, aren't they?
They understand a dead body's pain,
but trample living feelings underfoot.

Slowly, with wet eyes
when I moved toward you—
why didn't you see me?

If only once that day,
just once you had sought me in your gaze,
then to be torn apart in winter's wind...

Needlessly I came and closed my eyes against your chest.
I still stand hidden behind your door,
touching solitude, soundless.
Won't you look?

Look and see—
now there are no more tears in my eyes.

(End)