111.
The guru's word is the final call—an invitation to the seeker to abandon the familiar world of all that is known and surrender to the silent absolute before the 'I', before the assertion of self.
Not after the 'I', but before it I am taking you. You wish me to speak—to tell you of the world that lies beyond this sense of 'I am'. You seek explanation, discourse, logic—for there you find comfort. But I, your guru, have come to do one thing alone: to carry you before the 'I'.
…to that place where nothing exists—neither being nor non-being; neither name nor form—where even the utterance 'I' becomes impossible. All that you know is the landscape that comes after this 'I'—born from the touch of time and consciousness. This is why you keep drawing me back to that world where you can walk familiar paths, where you can know, conceive, compare.
But I do not know that path. I know only this: that you yourself do not know your own source—the source from which 'I' too emerges—the source no one wishes to see, for there nothing can be understood. I wish for you to realize it yourself: what existed before this 'I'? Who is that being in whom this 'I' arose? That silent consciousness that speaks nothing, desires nothing, knows nothing—and yet is?
This supreme silence—this pinnacle moment of consciousness—this is the supreme Brahman, and I have come only to lead you there.
The guru is no storyteller; he is the guide to liberation. All that you know comes after the 'I'; but he wishes to carry you to that which precedes the birth of 'I'—the unspoken, the unexperienced, the indescribable.
If you truly wish to know yourself—then abandon this knowing, this understanding, this feeling, and in silence turn back toward your own source. In that silent center—you yourself abide—before even the utterance 'I', before words themselves—in your supreme form.
112.
The highest expression of supreme humility—it springs from that place where truth is so pure that no word can touch it. Truth is not in speech; truth abides in wordless existence.
I do not tell you what truth is—for I know that any word whatsoever falsifies truth. All that I speak comes from this sense of 'I am', and this 'I' itself is an illusion. Therefore what I say is not entirely true. Such humility and honesty—when heard from the guru's lips—makes the heart tremble, for it becomes clear: truth can never be captured in language.
Words are the expression of consciousness—and consciousness itself has arisen from the sense 'I am'. And that 'I' itself is only a primordial illusion—which has given birth to the world, to time, to all the levels of knowledge.
Therefore the guru says: what I speak is only a gesture—not a sign, merely a direction. If you truly seek truth, then seek not me, but seek my silence. For truth can never be spoken—it can only be lived.
What the guru speaks is deliberately 'untrue'—for he knows that language is but a shadow over truth. The moment you speak anything, it rises from within the 'I'—which itself is a mirage of expression.
Truth is not a matter of speech; truth is only a matter of realization. If you wish to attain truth, you must go beyond language—to that place where neither 'I' exists nor 'you'—where dwells only the silent consciousness.
113.
A supreme compassion, austerity, and guidance to self-liberation—this is the manifestation of that guru-consciousness which again and again returns you to the source of 'I', so that you yourself may realize: the 'I' never was, is not, and never has been.
Return to the 'I', as many times as needed…until you understand—the 'I' never existed at all.
I return you again and again to that source—where “I am” is born.
I do not speak of the world, of qualities, of philosophy—I speak only this: return there, where nothing exists, only a presence.
You forget again and again, your mind wanders through the realm of thought—”Who am I,” “Why am I,” “What is my future”—and I call you again: “Come, listen, be still—within ‘I am.’”
For only when you rest here will you yourself discover—this “I” too is a shadow, a maya, an imagination like a dream. And when you understand this—then you are free.
The guru never grows weary—he knows that perhaps among a hundred, one will truly listen, be still, and one day realize—”I” am nothing; I merely seemed to be, as if I was not.
That realization itself is liberation. The rest is the play of consciousness, the riddle of maya.
The guru returns you again and again to the sense of “I,” because he alone knows—this is the only door through which you can enter ultimate truth.
When you rest in this, one day it will dissolve of itself. Then you will see—what was, was only memory, habit, thought. You will then become silent, formless, infinite—one who is yourself no “I”—truth itself.
**114.**
An ancient truth’s touch—how this sense “I am” is born, no one knows. Yet once it awakens, it hums and thrums within itself to the tune of “qualities.”
A song of the unknown—when “I” hums and thrums. This seed—this consciousness, this “I am”—how did it arise?
…There is no explanation. Just as you cannot say why a child laughs, why it plays, why it suddenly dances in joy—so no one knows where this sense of “I” comes from, why it comes.
But once it arrives—it does not stop, does not fall silent, it hums and thrums—in the three qualities’ tune—sattva, rajas, tamas.
The body is formed—from the five great elements and these three qualities, and through that body the “I” speaks forth—”I think, I do, I know…”
The guru uses this word “humming”—where “guna-gun” means moving in a humming sound—the sense of “I” too is exactly this—an unchecked, automatic flow in the current of qualities.
Do you know…you are not merely the listener of this humming consciousness; you are that silence which knows—this “I” is actually a song, which has a tune, a beginning, but you are not its truth.
How the sense “I am” is born, no one knows. But once it arrives, it reveals itself in color, form, quality—it lives, thinks, acts, creates in that humming.
If you are alert—you will understand: this humming sense is not you; you are that which remains still, that formless being—upon which “I,” a shadow, hums and flows on.
**115.**
The mystery of life, the knowledge of the world, the realization of the self—the key to all this lies hidden in a single place—in “I am,” this fundamental knowledge.
The only key to mystery—”I am.” All the mysteries of life, the play of birth and death, the arising and dissolving of the world—the key to all this lies secret in a single place: “I am”—this knowledge.
If you do not know where this “I” came from, why it came—you will only search for paths in shadows. So the guru says—understand this sense of “I” clearly, leave no doubt, if necessary reread his words, meditate again, plunge in once more.
If you truly understand once—what this sense is, how it came, why it comes—then before you will unfold the entire scheme, the coming, the remaining, the disappearing of “I”—all will become clear. And then, when you are completely established in this sense “I am”—in its pure form—it will itself lay bare its own secret, and you will realize—this too is a fleeting shadow; you are not it.
If you would know truth, know only one thing: “I am”—where did this sense come from?
When you come to understand that this is the very genesis of life, and you hold it with perfect clarity, then gradually his coming and going will reveal themselves of their own accord.
In this self-seeing lies the consummation—where the mask of ‘I’ falls away, and you become—the silent essence that precedes even the ‘I’.