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Third Part
.......................................................
~~ Conversation started on December 14, 2010 & ended on December 14, 2010 ~~
: Didi, I often imagine having a cool family like yours when I get married.
You'll give me tips and tricks ..... OK?
: Yes....tip number one ... find yourself a nice girl ...
: So sweet .......
: And everything else will follow
: :/ ……I can't
: Why can't you?
You are handsome, dashing, charming
: I don't know
: Arrey….!!!
: Everything is OK ..... Now even more and more OK
Still, I can't
: Why?
: I don't know
: I am sure you have a following of girls
: I've not yet met the right person
: I guess you will...
But keep NO biases
Don't look for a perfect girl
: Several dozen proposed to me ...... not a single right one yet :/
: Because that perfection is made by you …..limited to experiences...
Just let go...
Don't meet them with…… is she good or bad.......Can she cook or not.......will she take care of family etc........just be with the person.... and see what your energy levels are with her.......don't think......
: hmm .... good points
: Just be...
See what triggers...
Witness the thoughts... energy ...
: I was never with any girl .....
: Just be……Don't evaluate
: Wrong thing to do .... nah?
: When the proposal comes, meet the girl with parents and then be with her alone...
Even if in your garden......meet the person different times of month...
: But, if I don't like to be with her .... then?
: All phases of moon.....then don't be…. Go to the next girl...
You will find your match...
It's like a plug point...
220 is different than 110 volts, naa?....same thing...
: The next never comes ...... whom I feel like being with
: You will find your match :)
: I'm too calculative ...... too perfectionist ......
: DONT resist…..LOL
Drop your science
Just be...
Your thoughts...
: I think much about the matching .....
: Your gender...
Your expectation…….Don't think.
: I never did flirt ...... nothing ...... my friends around me do a lot of things ...... and always look for the next
I can't do it ......
: You don't have to flirt...
: I don't know why ..... but, I can't
: You just have to be...
Just feel the energy...
It clicks or not...
Go past the form....
TRUST ME...
: I've another prob ....... I'm too shy to mix with girls .....
: Forget the gender...
: It's a great prob that I've been facing for long ...
: Energy is asexual……
: Hmmm ...... Still forgetting is not easy
: LOL
IT IS
You are not shy of me...
I am opposite sex, aren't I?
: I'm shy of nobody on Facebook ....... lolzz
: Busssss.....think you are on FB with her lol …..then?
: I'm shy when I'm face to face
I meet them ......
: Just think it's a big screen monitor
: Hahahaha ....... on FB with her ......
: And that you are chatting :)
: Good tips hard to remember for a stupid like me :/
: It will come naturally……just drop the form......the expectation…...
: Never does it ......the expectation ....... like it!!!
Some girls want to chat with me over my cell phone ........

I’m either too formal or outright rude when people try to get closer……
Still, I like to flirt over the phone…… but my heart won’t let me……
It’s funny and strange!!!!!
: lol it’s silly, brother
Now don’t be shy…..
Be like how you are on FB……. confident
: hmm…….
They often tell me I’m too confident….. I just don’t show any sign of it
: LOL
: lolzzz
Now the only path I see ahead is settled marriage / arranged marriage…..
Poor fellow that I am!
: I was arranged……. Trust me, it’s cool!
: And you’re super happy now
You’re my inspiration……
: Yes…..
Because in my life I didn’t know what I wanted….. but knew what I didn’t and when I met Robin….
He fit the bill perfectly…
: Good point
A girl proposed to me a few days ago…… she was okay…… but then I found out she’d loved another guy before…… so I just refused her…… she was so hurt
I felt sorry for her…… but my heart couldn’t accept her……
: Love is such a dynamic thing
We cage it with our understanding of romance and lust…
: Hmm………..
: If you’re worried about faithfulness…
Your love for someone makes them faithful to you
: But it’s really tough to be indifferent to the romance & lust she might have given to her previous lover.
Yes, I was really worried about faithfulness….. how could you guess???!!!!!
You’re a genius!!
: lol
Well I guess then you won’t like a girl who isn’t a virgin
Which I know means a lot to some
: Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yessssssssssssssssssssssssssss
OMG!!!!
You’re too good!!!!
: LOL
Well to each their own…
I know of many who were and married…
And weren’t faithful after…
So it can work both ways, naa…..
: Didi, what do you think of this photo of mine?……… (I shared a link)
Yes, your idea is right…. but I’ve never had any sexual experience… So I can expect a girl of the same kind… right?
: Yes I guess so…
But if one of you is experienced….. less fumbling around, naa…… lol
Sorry brother couldn’t resist the humor in this serious conversation
: Hahahaha…… so better marry a whore!!!!
God bless my weird thinking!!!
lolzzz
: LMAO!!!!
: Oh oh oh!!! Never apologize… I’m mature enough for such humor
: love your thoughts
: Hahahaha….. you loved??
I could not love your love!!!
sorry….. lol
Didi, did you see my pic?
The link I sent?
: Yes I did…
Thinking….
You……
Like a philosopher….hmmm………
: What thinking?
Philosopher????
: Your pic, bro
: Philosopher….. Smiling like that!!! Oh my!!!
: Yaaa……..
Thinking… all married men have it all….
The misery………lol
Better be single
And keep smiling
: No no no…… I don’t want to be single anymore…………… uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuuuuuuuuu :/
: How old are you now? 29?
: No, I’m 27+
I’m much older now……
: Hmmmmmmm little one 🙂
: No chance of falling in love…….. anymore
Little one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Didi……….. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Hey, how old are you now??

huh???
I’m not a chota baccha ……
No no no …….
: 27 + 14 years
: I’m not 27 I’m running at 28
So, it’s 28+13
: lol
: 😛 ……. u r a chota lady ……. 😛
Cute chota lady ……hihihi……..
: lol
I am short 🙂
Even Sreya said….. aayio in the photo you don’t look this short 🙂 lol
: No prob, u r too dashing, too smart, too adorable …….
Seriously in photos , u don’t look short
Wht’s ur height?
: lol
Only 5 feet
: really??????????
Are u kidding??!!!
: And Sreya walked past me thinking I was a young little girl lol
: U must be kidding …..
: Nope
: U really look like a little girl …..
: 5 feet only
: It’s true
U can hide ur age
: Most of the people thought I was 27 to 31
: It’s gr8!!!!
: In India
: I’m still thinking……. I don’t believe u…. lol
: Believe me about my height?
But, it is
: Ur age, like those Indian people ……. lolzz
: My friend’s son’s friend was hitting on me lol
Thinking I was 27 and he was 25 🙂
: Anyone will hit on u if he is not insane……
I’m serious!!
Not kidding ……lol
: lol
When I told him my age he thought I was lying just so that he could stop
It’s my height and frame that is deceptive
: Hmm …..
: My face does show the 27 + 14 …… nahi nahi 28 + 13 years 🙂
: Hahaha …. good sense of humour …..
I like it. 🙂
Didi, can u guess wht my height is frm my pics ?
: You appear very tall…….5-10
: hmm…
wht is it?
No……
: 5-10………
Then 6?
: I wish I were!! :/
: Then?
: It’s 5-11
: So, I was close……
5-10 I said naa………
: Yes, u were……..
Just the average …
: Yes… it is average nowadays…….
But…… still tall
: No no …… I didn’t tell it ……
I just said my height is just the avg of the guesses u made (5-10 & 6)
lolzzzz
: lol
OK
Isn’t it late for you there?
What time is it there?
: Yes, it’s late …… but u r there …. nah?
It’s 2.25 am here ……
: Oooh don’t let me hold you back
Go sleep
: I like talking to u …..
: We can talk again tomorrow
No big deal
: OK, we can ……
: Till then even I can think of ways to make you less shy with the girls
And you think of what I told you
: Hahahaha …… it will be a grt help for me
: One thing…..
: Didi, u can be sure that I’ll feel shy when I’ll meet u ……. hahahaha …..
: Hear calming music before you meet anyone…
Whatever music calms you
: OK
: lol I know you will be …
You were on another call when I called lol
: U know?????
Seriously?????
How????
: Last year for your bday I called
We celebrated 3 of your bdays together u know
: Hmmm …… u remembered still …..
: We met few weeks before your bday 3 years ago…

Then last year I called you, and this year I missed the day since I was gallivanting all over India.

: I was missing you too on my wall.

: But I wished you later on Facebook since my phone couldn’t dial out.

: I felt like reminding you to wish me, but I couldn’t send you an SMS.

: See, every year I’ve done something unpredictable… lol

: If I could, I really would remind you.

: Always different 🙂

: Yes, you’re always different to me.

Always special.

: Thanks, and you are too.

: Always something I want.

: Else we would have never met up.

: You’re most welcome.

Yes, you’re right.

: Chalo… now go and sleeeeeeep.

: OK didi, I’ll go to sleep now.

I’m super-happy talking to you.

So, so happy.

Thank you, didi.

: 🙂

: Take care. 🙂

: You’re most welcome. I reallllly enjoyed chatting with you too.

Ciao for now.

: Bye.

Fourth Part

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~~ Conversation started on January 1, 2012 & ended on November 25, 2012 ~~

: Dear didi,

Happy New Year 2012. I wish you a successful and beautiful journey through this year. Stay happy. Make others happy.

Bappi

: Happy New Year, Bappi. I’m looking forward to this year. Very eagerly. Many things have changed for me. 🙂 I can’t wait to celebrate Christmas 2012 either. I’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer. But I’m not worried, as it’s the most treatable cancer. Only the journey is a bit tough. But then, nothing’s tougher than being in a foreign land, not knowing the language, and really needing to know where the bathroom is, lol. I’m a tough cookie. My chemo starts in a few days. My cancer is quite large in the breast, so they can’t operate yet. It’s like waiting at the airport for your flight, you know? You know you’re getting on it, but time moves really slowly. 🙂

: (silence from my end)

: What happened? You disappeared after I wrote to you. Don’t you want to talk to me anymore? 🙂

: Ah! Never think like that, please! I’ve always wanted to talk to you and I always will. So never have such a thought, even in your wildest imagination! I was sick. I was suffering severely from jaundice, and now I’m well. That’s why I was a bit irregular in replying to emails.

How are you, didi? How is everything going? You’ve got a new look. Good. How is Neel? What about your breast cancer? Has it been cured?

I hope you had a good start to 2012. I had a bad start. Now it’s getting better. Hope it’ll be even better.

: Oh, I hope you feel better. I wish I could be cured of cancer so easily. It’s a long treatment. Chemo for five months, then surgery, then reconstruction surgeries. So by October this year, I’ll be good again. I’ll be bald till the chemo finishes though. But that will pass. :)))

: Didi,

How are you?

How is everything going on?
: Am well bro how are you?
: I’m fine too. Take care didi. 🙂
: (silence from her end)
: Didi, how are you? How is everything going on? Your wall shows me that you’ve passed through critical times. I feel really sad reading all the posts on your wall. The person who taught me to dream and live is having tough times. I can’t bear the pain. It hurts. Of the very few persons, you’ve always been one I pray for and will always be. It’s true that I haven’t written to you for a long time. It’s my great mistake, and I don’t want to make excuses for it because deep in my heart I know how painful this morning has been after I’ve read through your wall. Didi, please tell me what the doctors are saying about your health. How are you now? How is Neel? How is everything? You’re the master of life in my eyes. You can’t suffer. I believe this firmly. Can you transfer some pain to me? I’m very happy now. I shouldn’t be so happy when my dear is suffering. I really feel guilty sending you messages after such a long silence. Please, please take care.
: I am well now… yes, it has been a trying time for me and my family going through chemo and cancer and many surgeries to date… in fact, I got one done today. …tomorrow I start radiation… daily for 6 weeks… my attitude has been a key factor in keeping me alive :)… I’m free of cancer now but I had to lose both my breasts and uterus… but am grateful to be alive… not that I wasn’t a humble grateful person before but this experience has made me more humble and grateful…
Enough about me… how are you doing? 🙂
: Didi, how are you? How is everything going on? Hope you’re having busy days these times. How is everything?
: Hi sush… How are you? Yes super busy… my in-laws are here… plus so many American and Indian holidays so super busy with them… How is work? When are you coming to the USA!
: I’m fine. Are you angry with me for some reason? You forgot the date 2 Nov! Grrrrrrrr…….
My work is fine. I’m coming to the USA if God takes me there.
If I’ve disappointed you in any way, please forgive me.
How are you now? How is Neel?
: Holy moly!!! Oh so sorry happpppppy bday
Have you 2 extra days to be younger? 🙂 … (She was 2 days late in wishing me…)
: Only for you!
: Lol that’s a good brother! 🙂
: No didi, I often feel that I’m a worse brother of a super-best didi.
: Lol no… Not at all
: But I sincerely feel so. I often feel guilty for this. I miss your teachings that have shaped my life to a great extent.

I often remember our good old days and feel sad & sorry. Do you have any bad feelings about me? Please tell me.
: Lol no bad feelings 🙂
: But, you should. I did many wrong & bad things to you. I am guilty.
: Lol what bad things? I don’t know 🙂
: You know …… You should know …… Why are you so generous? I’m a mean fellow!!
: I really don’t know Sush ……. For real
: Great you’re!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
I’m so happy. 🙂
: Hahaha that I am… lol…… thanks for confirming 😉
: No confirmation …… You really are ….. at least in my eyes. 🙂
: Lol………. thanks, brother :))) I feel great
: Do feel always!! 🙂 🙂
: Lol …….thanks……. I will from now on
: You’re kidding!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I’m not kidding, didi. 🙂
: No I am not …. I didn’t know a lot of stuff about myself till recently … I realized how strong I am
: You’re steel strong, didi! You made me strong during my bad days. That great you’re!!
Didi, do you still have the poems I wrote for you?
: Yes, I found out I’m really strong
: How did u find it?
: Yes, I do, on my PC 🙂
: Height of the Sense of Humour!!
: I responded to the poems question 🙂
I found my strength when I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and doctors thought it would be hard for me to survive 🙂 ……..but I did!!!
: You’ll survive forever!! My prayers for you!!!
: 🙂 thanks
: Never mention …… my pleasure ….. my responsibility. 🙂
: 🙂
: 🙂 🙂 🙂
Didi, Neel is now 4?
: Neel is 5 years three months
: 🙂 🙂
Have u uploaded his recent pic?
: Just in his Halloween outfit
: OK
: (silence from her end)
: Hello didi! How are you? How is everything going on?
: All is good…… How are you? Traveling a lot yet?
: I’m fine too …… No, stopped now …. 🙂
: (silence from her end)
: Didi, how are you? How is everything going on? How is Neel? Getting bigger every day? 🙂
: 🙂 Yes he is 🙂 ………and turning quite a jumping jack though lol
: He will be rocking someday. 🙂
But, how are you, didi? How is everything?
: All is well … Getting better each day 🙂
: Didi, how are you? How is everything?
: Hi Sush,
I’m fine… but how are you? I read the note you wrote on FB. You sounded very hurt and it is disturbing to read. Are you ok? All going well?
Love,
Radha
(She’d just read my note ‘No Strings Attached’)
: Didi, I’m OK. I just wrote it, just wrote. Have you forgotten the BIG evil spirit of your little brother?

hahahaha
I’m doing my job and writing whenever I can find a moment
I really miss our old good times together
I’m grateful—and I’ll always be grateful—to 4 people for who I am now
My mom
My dad
My brother
And……………..YOU!!!
Only these 4 people stayed beside me during my hard times
The rest of the world left, just left me
I’ll always pray for you, Neel and your family
I always will
Stay super happy!!!
Love
Your little brother Sush 🙂
: 🙂 all is well ……… good to know you had me concerned
: Didi, how are you? How are your days going?
I hope I’m not annoying you 🙂
: Haha…..No no…… not at all ……..
Just busy … Busy trying to absorb every little moment of this life… Every moment with Neel … just being a child myself with him.
What are you up to? How is work? Are you travelling still?
: Hello didi!! just checked your new look
U look awesome !! As always 🙂
I m fine
Busy in my own way
Yap, travelling too
Hope everything is fine with u 🙂
: Hahaha …thanks … Just wore my winter jacket ……getting ready for my New York trip ….. it’s cold there.
(We had many more really beautiful conversations. Most of those were on life, literature, philosophy. If I’d kept all those treasures, they’d fill a whole book! I lost almost all of our chat histories—I have this terrible habit of deleting inbox stuff. Just my bad luck!)