I'm not really lazy

 I'm not lazy, really. I just put things off.
  
 It's not that I don't work. I do, but I save it all for the last moment. When my phone battery drops to six percent, I wait for it to hit two. This isn't laziness—it's waiting. Perhaps this waiting is meaningless, but I like to wait this way.
  
 I don't touch any task until the deadline is breathing down my neck! I start studying for exams just hours before they begin! What's the point of studying all that material early? I'll just forget it anyway! When I see the ship of work ahead, my little boat of effort sinks with a plop. But it surfaces again at the last minute.
  
 I hop on Facebook to save the world for five minutes and end up spending three blissful hours there. When I watch a web series trailer and then binge the entire series, there are basically two reasons: I want to escape, even briefly, from some necessary but tedious task, and the other reason... well, I can't quite remember it right now.
  
 Yes, it's true that guilt gnaws at me. But only to the extent that it works—I don't actually change myself. Though I may put off work, I never leave anything truly unfinished.
 When I'm thirsty, I don't get up from sitting or lying down to grab the water bottle. Instead, I wait for someone to come into my room so I can ask them to hand it to me.
  
 Even when my phone rings right in front of me, I don't feel like picking it up. Of course, five minutes later I text them: "Did you call?" Deep down, I hope they won't reply. But if they do, my response is ready: "Oh, I didn't notice!"... This reply, too, I send late, never immediately. I'm not busy, but I enjoy the delayed response.
  
 Honestly, I don't enjoy talking on the phone at all—it's incredibly irritating. I'm not very busy, but I'm very tired.
  
 Don't misunderstand me—I'm not lazy at all; I just love putting things off. I love waiting for that last moment to arrive. I'm not busy, but I have no time.